Slashdot Log In
Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards
Posted by
michael
on Fri Jan 07, 2005 01:41 PM
from the real-soon-now dept.
from the real-soon-now dept.
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
This discussion has been archived.
No new comments can be posted.
The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. We are not responsible for them in any way.
Full
Abbreviated
Hidden
Loading... please wait.
My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Insightful)
My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.
What the fuck?
Parent
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:4, Informative)
While popular religion often presents the idea that early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.
Jesus did state that the kingdom of heaven would come "in this generation" (his generation, not ours) (Mark 9:1, Matthew 24:34), but He also taught that the kingdom was not of this world (John 18:36) and was "within you" (Luke 17:20-21). Since the Bible later identifies the kingdom as the church, refers to Christians already being a part of the kingdom in the past tense rather than future (Colossians 1:13), describes Christ as presently serving as King rather than serving as King in the future (Acts 2:33, Hebrews 12:2), and describes Christ as returning the Kingdom to the Father at His second coming rather than establishing the Kingdom at that time (I Corinthians 15:24), it seems that the prophecy of Christ of the coming of the kingdom referred to the establishment of the church, rather than to His coming at the end of time.
Finally, both Christ (Mark 13:32) and His apostles (I Thessalonians 5:2) stated that noone knew the time of His coming and that it would be without warning, like a thief in the night. Thus, while I and II Thessalonians indicate that many early Christians may have misunderstood, a properly educated 1st century C.E. Christian holding to the doctrine of the second coming as taught by Christ and His apostles would have recognized that the day might or might not come in the immediate future.
That said, you did get a laugh out of me. ;) Hope you found the Bible info informative and that addressing a serious response to a joke doesn't bug you. (That's how I learned everything in high school physics; the teacher addressed serious responses to my jokes.)
Parent
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).
Parent
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Interesting)
===
From: torva...@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Linus Benedict Torvalds)
Date: 5 Oct 91 05:41:06 GMT
Subject: Free minix-like kernel sources for 386-AT
[...]
I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". Hurd will be
out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got
minix.
[...]
===
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/comp.os.min
Parent
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:5, Informative)
Parent
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Funny)
/* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
#include <stdio.h>
int main ()
{
printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");
return 0;
}
Where? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Where? (Score:5, Interesting)
If you look very closely at some of the photos in Creative Computing or Compute! you'll see that the alleged 1450XLD had a nameplate on it calling it a 1250XLD. My guess is that there was another earlier project that was canceled, and since they didn't have any of the new ones ready, they used photos of the old one.
Apparently there were a few 1400XLs that got out, but there's as rare as an 815.
Parent
SysRq has its usage (Score:3, Informative)
I've seen it used. Google sysrq and you fill find plenty of things that use it.
Sarge (Score:4, Funny)
Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.
(But I still want it now!)
Re:Sarge (Score:3, Informative)
I do consider it 'released' as it was released the day it was created. It's been there for download & use for years.
While it's labelled "testing", and woody is the current "stable" in reality I find very little difference between the two. Both have been rock solid for me, although Sarge has had issues of the kind where a config file changes and there's unexpected behaviour, or a package will be updated from version 1.0 to 1.2 and change its behavio
Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:3, Insightful)
Steve fessed up to it (Score:3, Interesting)
Then he some convoluted explaination that they were getting faster at a faster rate %wise than intel which was a confusing statement since both chip makers increased speed by the same # of mhz..
Oh well..
Re:Apple and IBM should share credit (Score:4, Informative)
That was the whole point.
Parent
What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:5, Interesting)
Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:4, Informative)
Parent
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:3, Insightful)
No. Anybody can fake up working model and/or show a rigged demo. Even an officially-released product is technically vaporware until it ends up in the hands of at least one customer.
~Philly
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Yes, I am Karma whoring. (Score:5, Informative)
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
6. Gran Turismo 4
5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards
4. TiVoToGo
3. Microsoft's Longhorn
2. CherryOS
1. Phantom Game Console
Longhorn (Score:3, Interesting)
Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!
Re:Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now.
Parent
Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (Score:5, Insightful)
--
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
Re:Kind of sad: Alienware?!? (Score:3, Informative)
Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:3, Interesting)
Also could be fit in the "vaporware" realm some of their claims, i.e. the "safe" feature is strongly attached to any of their products, be windows 95, internet explorer from the firsts versions, office, servers, etc).
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:4, Funny)
Parent
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:3, Informative)
There's a difference, though. The Year Of Linux On The Desktop(tm) is something that users and pundits keep predicting, not something any one company, or even any group of companies, is promising. In fact, there are a number of distros which meet the requirements for a usable desktop OS, and this has been the case for a couple of years now; if these fail to live up to people's inflated expecta
I don't get why Intel and Apple are on the list (Score:3, Insightful)
Unlike Duke Nukem Forever, they were both going into uncharted waters, and it's really no surprise that they didn't make it to their destination as fast as they had wanted to....
Vaporware? (Score:5, Insightful)
They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10 ... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.
#1 Phantom spotted at CES (Score:3, Informative)
Link to Story [theinquirer.net]
'Phantom' is more than just a physical machine. (Score:5, Informative)
Showing a physical unit off at the CES is like showing a MMORPG without any multi-user support -- it might look pretty, but it's missing the core feature that's supposed to make it special.
Parent
Re:#1 Phantom spotted at CES (Score:3, Informative)
The article does mention that the Phantom was part of a display for Windows Embedded Devices [microsoft.com], which I guess means someone at Microsoft has seen this thing running, but it still seems a little suspicious to me.
Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:5, Insightful)
My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.
Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!
Re:Is anyone really working on a new duke3d?! (Score:3, Interesting)
so yes, they still are working on it. this is no excuse for the length of delay (nearly 10 years now), but you have to keep in mind what duke3d was. it was not just another typical FPS. in fact, it had more going on than the first half-life did really. there was the shrink ray, freeze ray, jet pack, pipe bombs, etc. etc.
the engine is actually a very very minor part of it. when duke3d fir
Irony (Score:5, Funny)
SCO Group's Evidence? (Score:4, Insightful)
After nearly two years and Darl McBride's claims of "mountains of code" you'd think they'd have shown something by now.
--
It works. [wired.com]
Free Flat Screens [freeflatscreens.com] | Free iPod Photo [freephotoipods.com]
Re:SCO Group's Evidence? (Score:3, Funny)
Where is SCO? (Score:3, Insightful)
SCO "proof" is the biggest vaporware (Score:5, Insightful)
Intel lower on list than Apple? (Score:5, Funny)
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.
Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?
Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.
Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.
The John Kerry Administration (Score:3, Funny)
We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.
You troll you. (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:3, Funny)
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:x800? (Score:5, Informative)
Also, we didn't jump through any special hops to get these cards, we just placed an order with a local computer store, like any Joe Blow is able to do.
Parent
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
Parent
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
Parent
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
That's it, I'm switching to Linux.
Parent
Re:Elite 4 (Score:4, Informative)
Virus and Virus 2000 showed a lot of the phenominal mind of David Braben, with impressive graphics and a complex realistic flying system.
In addition to that, he's one of the VERY few coder/designer/CEOs who ALSO are willing to spend the time answering people's questions on USENET. He also ran a survey to see if there was interest in a Linux version of Elite, at the request of fans. That kind of response is rare, but very much appreciated.
Unfortunately, Braben's promises of Elite 4, the debacles over Frontier and FFE, the failure to market Virus 2000 in the US, allegations that he was involved in the killing-off of the clone "Elite: The New Kind", alleged harassment of Ian Bell over his Elite website, etc, suggest that there is a less welcome side to his character.
Most of these are beyond fixing today. Elite 4 is not. But people won't remember the Elite series forever. There's only so big a timeframe to operate in. If he needs help, ideas, support, whatever - that's fine, we can all understand that, but he's not going to get any of those if he doesn't ask, and he might well not get as good as is there, if he's seen as secretive and hostile.
Elite 4 is vaporware, right now, and one of the worst examples of it. If it's done right, though, AND released, it could be a serious killer app in the games market. Even if it's "perfect" and the ultimate product ever written, nobody is going to care if they can't ever see it.
Parent