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Cell Phone Sommeliers on the Way?

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Mon Jan 21, 2008 02:12 PM
from the aged-vintages-not-quite-so-popular-for-some-reason dept.
Japan is reportedly toying with the idea of educating and licensing "sommeliers" to help potential buyers wade through the vast sea of options available for a new cellphone purchase. "Japan's communication ministry is looking to the private sector to manage the potential nightmare exam and certification process, with children's online safety highlighted as an important part of the plan. Mobile sommelier sounds like a pretty sweet title, we can totally feel how an HTC TyTN II might be paired with an earthy unlimited plan followed by the soft nutty finish of a 200-minute a month daytime calling package."
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  • Where's TFA? (Score:4, Insightful)

    by kabloom (755503) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:14PM (#22129470) Homepage
    Where's the article for this story?
  • Too many features (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Hatta (162192) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:16PM (#22129490) Journal
    If you need a professional to pick out the features you need on a phone, chances are you don't need all those features in the first place. If you really needed them, you'd know enough to ask for them in the first place. These guys are just overblown salesmen trying to talk you into something you don't need. As for me, all I ask out of a phone is that it gives me a dial tone when I pick up the receiver.
    • As for me, all I ask out of a phone is that it gives me a dial tone when I pick up the receiver.

      I don't remember a cell phone that actually produced a dial tone; my memory is fuzzy but perhaps some of the older Motorola "brick" analog phones did.

      • Re:Uh? (Score:5, Funny)

        by Hatta (162192) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:25PM (#22129624) Journal
        I don't remember a cell phone that actually produced a dial tone

        Yes, that was my point. Never had a cell phone, never care to have one.
          • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

            hey now, didn't anyone ever teach you to respect your elders?

            but seriously, i know lots of people that don't want cellphones. They don't like using a phone and don't want one they carry around with with them. Some people aren't all about being connected all of the time. How they manage it, i dont know. but they do, and seem perfectly happy that way. Who are we to judge?
      • Re:Uh? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by squiggleslash (241428) * on Monday January 21 2008, @02:28PM (#22129666) Homepage Journal
        He means he wants one of these [jitterbug.com], 'cos he's elderly and kind of stuck in his ways.
    • It's hard to find carriers/phones these days that are simple. It took me four separate calls to AT&T to get text messaging turned off on my phone. I was sick of paying for text messages from friends and from people I've never heard of. 10 for "hey dude whats up u want to grab coffee lmn" is ridiculous and a complete distraction.

      I'd give up my cell phone completely if my work permitted it.
        • by Jellybob (597204) on Monday January 21 2008, @05:20PM (#22131348) Journal
          SMS is a wonderful invention over here in Europe, where we're not stupid enough to let the providers charge us for receiving.

          In the states I'd want it turned off as well - the thought of paying because *somebody else* wanted to get in touch with me makes me shudder... what happens if some nut job gets your number and you didn't even want the messages. Can I then call up my provider and ask for a refund?
    • Re: (Score:2, Insightful)

      by Anonymous Coward
      If you need a professional to pick out the features you need on a phone, chances are you don't need all those features in the first place. If you really needed them, you'd know enough to ask for them in the first place.

      You know, there are things that you don't know about that you might find useful. You might be aware that blackberries let you send/receive email with strong encryption. You might not know that a blackberry can get google maps, instant messaging, GPS turn-by-turn navigation, tethered internet
    • If you need a professional to pick out the features you need on a phone, chances are you don't need all those features in the first place.

      Ahhh...but would you notice the subtle differences in one phone's clever UI for navigating photo storage vs. that employed by another, lesser vintage? Or how about the conditions in which the device was manufactured...would you expect Joe Smo to know the values imparted by the region and year of its birth? I think not! Surely you see the need to protect the uninformed so that they too can feel the joy of an expertly paired bluetooth accessory connecting on the first try.

      Then again, it does seem kind

    • If you need a professional to pick out the features you need on a phone, chances are you don't need all those features in the first place. If you really needed them, you'd know enough to ask for them in the first place.

      This is not as 'insightful' as it sounds. There's a difference between features and needs. If you're not up to date on cell phone technology, then you won't know what features are out there that actually address a need you have. That's where advice in general helps. You may not know that something exists, that doesn't mean it's not useful to you.

  • by paulthomas (685756) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:18PM (#22129520) Journal
    Here I am, thinking that someone in Japan had come up with a cellphone that could recommend wine pairings.
  • till a phone goes back to being just a phone? seems to me that if you need someone's help choosing cell phone features, then there are way too many features available.
    • I take it you've never bought anything more complex than a brick? Well, even that's a bad example because bricks come in a wide variety of styles and colors.
       
      Seriously - even with a simple menu of features, not all phone will be alike. This one might have a slightly better screen, this one a keypad that's easier for you to use, etc... etc...
    • by Bob-taro (996889) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:34PM (#22129716)

      ... the voice plans themselves can be confusing. If you just had a fixed rate per minute, or even a number of included minutes plus a fixed rate per minute thereafter, it wouldn't be that bad, but there are so many kinds of minutes: peak, off-peak, evening (and when does "evening" start?), weekend, same carrier, same account, "friends/family", rollover, etc.

      That's in the U.S. I've never looked at a Japanese cell plan. For all I know, they might be even more complicated

      • I know! IT would be SO much easier if we had ONE company that set the rules for EVERYONE. Like a mother almost. That all phones would behave in a certain way and you'd know what coverage you'd have with (let's call her "Ma Bell") no matter where you go because it all the same company! Wouldn't that be nice? And "Ma Bell" could just set these rates and services as she wants to make things easier for us... /sarcasm
  • by Urger (817972) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:24PM (#22129610) Homepage
    Though the original stock comes from Scandinavia the terroir of this particular batch came from Shanghai. You can smell the rich, earthy aroma of circuits left on the assembly line until they were perfectly ripe. Taste high-impact plastic exterior, make sure you taste it on the back of your tongue. As you can tell it's quite a balanced flavor. Quite correct sir, vintage 2002. It takes time to bring a phone to that level of complexity.
  • I took French in high school, but I've always been confused by the term "Sommelier". I remember that "Sommeil" means "sleep", as in J'ai sommeil, maman! ("I'm sleepy, mama!"). So a "sommelier", it would seem, would be an expert in helping you go to sleep.

    Of course, in the US, there would be no difference. Any discussion of cellphone features would be so boring, thanks to our provider-mandated crippled (but free) hardware, that it would put the most tragic insomniac into a deep slumber. "CallerTunes lets
    • by wcbarksdale (621327) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:38PM (#22129748)
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sommelier [wikipedia.org]:

      A sommelier (pronounced /smlje/ or suh-mal-'yAy), or wine steward, is a trained and knowledgeable wine professional, commonly working in fine restaurants, who specializes in all facets of wine service. The role is more specialized and informed than that of a wine waiter. French, from Middle French, court official charged with transportation of supplies, pack animal driver, from Old Provençal saumalier pack animal driver, from sauma pack animal, load of a pack animal, from Late Latin sagma packsaddle.
    • by gstoddart (321705) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:38PM (#22129752) Homepage

      I took French in high school, but I've always been confused by the term "Sommelier". I remember that "Sommeil" means "sleep", as in J'ai sommeil, maman! ("I'm sleepy, mama!"). So a "sommelier", it would seem, would be an expert in helping you go to sleep.

      Well, if we trust the results of a google search, it comes from a coarser latin a very long time ago. No idea if it's true, but here's a link [alphadictionary.com]. From the linked article:

      the title doesn't reflect the inattentiveness of some sommeliers (sommeil means "sleepy" in French), it is an alteration of sommerier "packhorse driver", a noun derived from sommier "beast of burden". French inherited sommier from Vulgar (street) Latin *saumarius, itself a corruption of sagmarius "packhorse", based on Greek sagma "packsaddle". Sumpter "packhorse driver" is a variant of the same word.


      Cheers
    • From Wikipedia: French, from Middle French, court official charged with transportation of supplies, pack animal driver, from Old Provençal saumalier pack animal driver, from sauma pack animal, load of a pack animal, from Late Latin sagma packsaddle.
  • It's far more likely that this will just result in more used car salesmen-types in the cell phone sales market. The sommelier analogy is almost offensive to real sommeliers. Certified or not. You are not going to get people who truly understand the intricacies of cell phone technology, features, software, services, plans to take a retail sales job. It just doesn't work that way. Sommeliers are a respected profession that requires years of apprenticeship. It is about culture and tradition.

    Cell phones have always been about fads and over-hyped widgets. It's all about pushing out the current model and signing people up as fast as possible. The market is too cutthroat to allow for anything else. For this same reason, sommeliers don't stand around selling wine at your local grocery store.

    I walked into a supposedly high-end cell phone store a few months back. They had towering signs that said things like "Ask our experts anything! They will help you figure everything out!". I walked up to one of the reps who wore a big badge saying "I'm a cell phone expert, ask me anything!". I asked a simple question: "Which devices do you have that run Symbian OS?". I received a blank stare and "What's a simmian?" in response. Followed by "We have lots of phones with cameras and MP3 players. Do you want one of those?"

    I'm not holding my breath that this program will make any difference.
    • by DDLKermit007 (911046) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:49PM (#22129874)
      I understand your annoyance, but this kind of stuff is old news. Sommeliers, or people who act like them for technology usually service high end clientel...Just like the traditional ones. I know because I do this day in, and day out. It's just not my entire line of work. I deal with mid to high end real estate agents, small to midsize business owners, and the like usually. Anyone below that line usually can't afford someone who's intelligent enough to understand technology, and how it will fit with a client. These people don't care about price, what makes it work, or where they can get it. Just that it works, it can be a status icon (first on the block with one) and will make their life as easy as possible. Anyone who goes into a retail cellphone store would love that kind of service, but they are in a retail store for a reason. Price matters way too much for them.
    • My father is a so-called wine guru. In reality he's just an alcoholic who has a way with words. Around him you can't use straight forward terms like sweet, dry, fruity etc and just enjoy the taste. Nope, it's hazelnuts, apple, ....

      While the wine snobs might think this is all great, it is just wankery that does not help the average Joe enjoy their wine. In fact it often detracts from Joe's enjoyment because he's stressing as to whether that's blackberry or raspberry he's tasting.

      Doing the same for phones wil

  • Curious analogy (Score:3, Interesting)

    by starfishsystems (834319) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:51PM (#22129888) Homepage
    The analogy between cell phones and wine seems rather strained to me.

    The reason that individuals can offer credentialed expertise in wine as a restaurant service is because they can base it on a body of knowledge which goes back some 9000 years. Yes, wines are complex, tasting is subjective. To that extent, the analogy holds. But unlike the cell phone market, the characteristics of wine, and the particular requirements of fine wine, are stable and well understood. Therefore, both the somellier and the patron gain an enduring advantage through cultivating their wine expertise over time, and the dialogue between them can be efficient and meaningful.

    Cell phone capabilities and services, on the other hand, are so extremely volatile that there can be no ground for consensus. It's still possible to go through the exercise of gathering requirements and outlining solutions, an activity which has already been given the name System Analysis. Let's call it what it is, because that tells us what we can reasonably expect from it.

  • I had issues looking for a cell phone with at least as long of talk time as what I currently have, specifically _without_ a camera, due to security requirements with places I occasionally travel to. Here are a couple that I found. (note -- I got different results with them, so they might not all know about all currently available phones):

    • http://www.phonescoop.com/phones/finder.php
    • http://myrateplan.com/cellphones/
  • by Quiet_Desperation (858215) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:55PM (#22129924)
    we can totally feel how an HTC TyTN II might be paired with an earthy unlimited plan followed by the soft nutty finish of a 200-minute a month daytime calling package."

    What the fu-

    What is this?

    WHAT LANGUAGE IS THIS?
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      It's mocking the high end wine & beer culture, as well as probably mocking the phone geek culture too. "nutty" and "earthy" are adjectives used to describe the tastes of some alcoholic beverages.
  • by Animats (122034) on Monday January 21 2008, @03:22PM (#22130170) Homepage

    What we need is not used-car salesmen with delusions of grandeur. What we need is better truth-in-advertising regulation. Like this:

    • The use of the phrase "up to" or synonym thereof in connection with any service quantity is per se deceptive, unless an "at least" guaranteed value is also provided and given equal or greater prominence.
    • The advertisement of an introductory rate is per se deceptive, unless the highest rate after the introductory period is also provided and given equal or greater prominence.
    • Advertised rates must include all charges and taxes except for state and local sales taxes.
    • Advertisements mentioning "rebates" must mention the non-rebate price more prominently than the price after rebate, unless absolutely no conditions are attached to the rebate offer and the rebate offer does not require the consumer to pay, at the time of sale, a price higher than the after-rebate price.
    • Any customer contract which allows the carrier to change the terms of the contract during the period of the agreement is void as against public policy.
    • Advertisements must use generic terms for features, rather than proprietary terms, to allow comparisons between vendors. (For example, "World Wide Web access" rather than "Sprint PCS Vision", and "Push to talk intercom" instead of "ReadyLink")
  • by writerjosh (862522) * on Monday January 21 2008, @03:23PM (#22130174) Homepage
    We have to remember a couple things:

    1. Japan is very far ahead of us as far as cell-phone technology is concerned. They've had fully-functional video phones for at least a year or two, for example (as in, you can communicate via real-time video).

    2. Japanese retail is much more about service than most US retail. We just want to get in and get the product, but the Japanese are all about greeting you at the door, pleasant smiles, and all of that.

    Therefore, a sommelier isn't all that strange in the context of Japanese retail. It's strange to Americans, but to the Japanese, it must make sense, otherwise they wouldn't bother.
  • Translation (Score:3, Funny)

    by bperkins (12056) on Monday January 21 2008, @05:16PM (#22131310) Homepage Journal
    The guy at Best Buy is going to get a haircut, and a suit.
    He will clench his teeth together as he tells you what phone you need.

    Sounds great.
    • "Any of these would have been much more understandable: specialist, expert, buff, genius, nerd, advocate, certified authority, professional."

      ... I can see the demand for some asian in the buff showing people which cell phone plan to pick ...

      • ...for some Asian in the buff showing people...

        I was thinking about the Seinfeld episode where one of the characters wanted to be a 'buff' after talking with a Civil War buff.
    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      Maybe the word 'sommelier' is actually more commonly used in Tokyo than it is in Dullard, USA. They have the word in EDICT as a borrowed word, a common dictionary for English speakers studying Japanese language, anyway. Tokyo and Paris vie for top position in culinary arts, and there's a lot of Fine European dining available there too.

    • Re:sommelier? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by gstoddart (321705) on Monday January 21 2008, @02:59PM (#22129958) Homepage

      Why don't they use something that is related, in English, or at least a bit more understandable, do the Japanese speak French? Probably some English lit major justifying his/her degree/salary. These are probably the same people who make up all that management speak, like instead of chart or table they use 'matrix'

      Because, sometimes English words don't exist which have the nuance of a foreign word -- they can lack that certain "je ne sais qua". :-P

      A highly trained individual whose job it is to help you select from a wide array of choices ... I can't think of a specific word short of "expert" or "salesman" (both of which can have negative connotations, or might just lack the dignity implied by the French word) which exactly conveys what that word says. :-P

      I once had a native speaker of French as me for the English word for "gourmet", to which I had to explain that we had never come up with a single word which conveyed as much as "gourmet", so we stuck with it. The word carries with it a lot of implied meaning and suggestion that aficionado or whatever wouldn't convey.

      Let's face it, English is just plain littered with words which have never really been translated. Sommelier is one of them. If you need to express a particular connotation or inference which is attached to a certain word, using substitutes makes the word understandable to more people, but might lessen the actual intended meaning. Subtle nuance is something which is difficult to replace with a synonym.

      Words from other languages which have been kept intact aren't that uncommon.

      Cheers
    • Re:sommelier? (Score:4, Informative)

      by tknd (979052) on Monday January 21 2008, @05:50PM (#22131658)

      Why don't they use something that is related, in English, or at least a bit more understandable, do the Japanese speak French?

      They do, but it isn't what you would think. Here's some fun examples (note double vowels means to hold the sound longer):

      Japanese: Depaato
      English: Department Store

      Japanese: Supa
      English: Supermarket

      Japanese: Terebi
      English: Television (TV)

      Japanese: Pasokon
      English: Personal Computer (PC)

      All of these words are derived from English words but have been kana-butchered because Japanese does not have all of the sounds English has and some are even shortened forms of the full words. For example "pasokon" which you would hear sounded like "pah soh com" is really from the first parts of "personal computer" being "perso" and "com".

      Some words actually sound pretty close to their English equivalent:

      Japanese: kohi (pronounced co-hee)
      English: coffee

      But when written in katakana or even romaji you sometimes wouldn't figure it out the actual English word as an English speaker. Only until they show you the object or describe what they are talking about do you suddenly make the connection.

      So they do use English and other foreign words (not related to English) as any language is allowed. But even if they did, the word probably wouldn't sound exactly like it did from the originating language.

      You could also say similarly of English which takes and borrows at will. In fact English will even allow you to force words to be used in different contexts than are technically sound. For example words like "guestimate" are used more commonly to express estimates that have no basis or technical reasoning. You may have issues trying to use that type of verbage (verbage--yet another made up word) in published works but for communication it is just fine. Additionally we still takes words like rendevous from other languages (French) despite using it in English. So are we speaking French or English? Well English obviously.

      I had the same complaints about the languages my parents spoke because sometimes they would alternate between the native language and English. So I would hear certain English phrases thrown in at random times and get frustrated and ask why they wouldn't just speak in one language or come up with a valid translation or expression of their thoughts in the other language. The answer is they switch between languages because sometimes it is easier and quicker to express a thought or concept in one language versus another.

      I also get an awful lot of complaints from my Spanish speaking friend who says we (American) English speakers tend to butcher the pronunciation of many borrowed Spanish words. For example the word "churro" in Spanish is specifically pronounced "chu ro" but English speakers tend to sit on the "r" sound and say something "chr ro".

      So language (in general) is a funny thing. But of course you would have learned that in your required foreign language studies classes that you didn't sleep through, right?

      To end, I'm going to leave you with one last Japanese kana-fied English word. But I'll write it in romaji without correct spacing (there are no "random" spaces in Katakana words) so you can read it. Some hints: the word is actually taken from 2 common english words combined to express a concept and the first portion "ai" is sounds like the English pronoun "I" or "eye" but is commonly written with two katakana.

      Japanese: ai su ku ri mu
      English: ?