A Timeline of the Future

The Night Watchman writes: "Ian Pearson, a British futurist, has produced a sort of timeline of the future, which provides a simultaneously hopeful and bleak look into the coming decades. Mr. Pearson has evidently had a fairly high success rate; a timeline he produced in 1991 was about 85% accurate. An article on Yahoo news has a summary." Reader ricst lists some of Pearson's predictions: "People have some virtual friends, but don't know which ones (2007), leisure activities for intelligent software entities released (2015), electronic lifeform given basic rights (2020)." Brought to you by a division of British Telecom, but no date is set for when they win their hyperlink patent suit.

Re:The Signposts Document

[Yorrike]

Especially the part about artificial kidneys in 2015 and artificial livers in 2020. I guess I no longer have to worry about drinking all that beer and coke, science will solve my over-indulgence releated medical problems.

Well, at least 85% of them.

Quit predicting the future, predict the market!

[Anonymous Coward]

If you're going to prognosticate what is to come, you may as well make a few bucks doing it. Perhaps a few lotteries along with a few stocks would do the trick. Just a thought. :)

Page 6...

[xonker]

"Orgasm by email - 2010"

Suddenly "you've got mail" takes on a whole new meaning... spam becomes wildly popular... hookers are out of work in droves...

Only eight more years...

Re:Earliest potential occurrence

[SPrintF]

Once you've built a time machine, you can go back in time and hand yourself the blueprints. Piece o' cake.

Re:Hmmmm...

[AntiNorm]

So I don't think it would be hard for AI to get a PhD

It would be pathetically easy, even today. All you would have to do is give the AI bot some basic communication skills and have it get in touch with the "U N I V E R S I T YD I P L O M A S" people. There you have it -- an AI bot with a PhD from a prestigious nonaccredited university!

Action Man's Dream Come True

[Anonymous Coward]

Smart Barbie with ... full sensory input: 2010

What sort of sensory input, exactly? Ahem.

Re:Electronic lifeforms.

[nomadic]

Great, now we accidently kill the wrong process and we become murderers.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Earliest potential occurrence

[Repton]

Time travel into the future is easy!

I'm doing it right now!

Re:Futurism, humbug...

[Squeeze Truck]

Or how about this:

2008: Mujahideen overthrow most western-aligned governments in mideast. Oil production comes to a complete standstill. World economies collapse.

2009: Rain falls for first time on Arakkis.

2011: Americans burn sheafs of "future predictions" to keep from freezing to death.

2013: Americans all starve because robotic pets are not edible.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Working Spellchecker: 2060

[Mister Snee]

Artificial Inteligence -- top of page 5.
Hehe.

Orgasm by email .... 2010

[Fweeky]

Well, I suppose it'd make spam a bit less pointless, and imagine if Outlook is still up to it's old tricks..

"I SEND YOU THIS ORGASM IN ORDER TO HAVE YOUR ADVICE"

Off by eight years...

[TekkonKinkreet]

2010: Homes made in prefabricated modules...guess he's never been to rural North Carolina.

2010: Orgasm by email. Oh, wait, we already have this. I'm reliably informed.

Also 2010: 25% of all TV personalities will be synthetic. Oh, wait...

Hey bein' one a them futurists is easy!

Re:Hmmmm...

[Dolly_Llama]

The real question is will the AI list the PhD prominently in its slashdot sig?

Re:Earliest potential occurrence

[nomadic]

If you have the time travel, then you could always go forward in time to 2100, and bring back the secret of FTL travel...

My own predictions.

[Yorrike]

Here's a few events I can see happening in the near future:

1000 monkeys at 1000 type writers code perfect operating system: 2010
CowboyNeal becomes world president due to Slashdot poll becoming legally binding: 2014
Mozilla 1.0 released: 2018
Timelines of the Future proven inaccurate: 1823
99% of Slashdot comment submitters use "Preview" button before submitting: 2793

Re:Cloning extinct animals

[Anonymous Coward]

We'll never get even close to the complete genome of a dinosaur because its DNA has long since been degraded.

Didn't you watch the movie? We'll just splice in some frog DNA wherever there are gaps. Then, we'll be screwed because the dinosaurs will learn to spontaneously impregnate themselves, and run around knocking down buses with their heads.

Re:Electronic lifeforms.

[(outer-limits)]

I think they should be given the right to bear arms, preferrably large calibre and automatic, with armour piercing bullets.

timeline of the future

[Anonymous Coward]

Time-line of the future:

2002

Q3:

Super Mario Sunshine is released onto the world, with ground breaking AI for a platform game. Catches everyone by surprise. (My fingers are crossed anyway, )

Star Wars Online, and Final Fantasy Online become first massively multiplayer RPG's to host millions of users. The economies of both these virtual worlds rival that of a mid sized country. Within one year of release both games my peak at 10 million users. Maybe more.

June: Microsoft switches to software rental only scheme, turning there software into a utility. Enraged, many businesses completely move there back end to Linux.

Q4:
KDE4.0 is released unto the world with amazing speed and features, making Windows and Mac OS look old. Linux will penetrate the desktop market.

Community wireless networks grow in size and simplicity.

Doom 3 is unleashed unto the world, with graphics so damn amazing, it throws people who see it into future shock

2003:

Bandwidth volcano erupts as everyone runs out to by a wireless router that allows them to video conference with everyone in the world for free.

P2P networks would be Ubiquitous across the Internet, thanks to the new wireless Iinternet.
Open Source movies will gain huge audiences, and huge revenues. "New fan based business model comes out in which, if you liked the first episode, help me raise this much money to raise a second!"
Entertainment/media corporations will go down alla Enron, while Artists manage to make considerable sums, from the donations of fans.

A open source massvily multi player RPG will release a simplistic interface for people to share models and other objects, to build there own worlds with. As this game scales over the next year, it becomes the ultimate VR UI for computers and the Internet.

Many businessess will open virtual Office buidlings, wich is like a MMORPG, only people from around the world come there to work. With 3d goggles, users will have the impression of being in the same room with cooworkers, withh access to as many computer terminals as they can handle.

The average geek has a dual 4 Gig Athlon, (or PPC if there rich) and a Gforce 5 to play Doom 3.

2004

The number of scientific models discovered by artificial neural networks exceeds the number being discovered by other means.
New general purpose, small, distributed sensors will lead to the acceleration of all sciences. Massivly deployed sensors will collect massive amounts of data, and analyzed by neural networks to produce increasingly sophisticated models.
Scientists hanging around in virtual recreations produced by the models the generated, will in turn work together more efficiently accelerating Scientific progress further.

The data produced from all those millions of people playing massively multi-player RPG's will be mined and analyzed by neural networks, to render non-player character AI's good candidates for passing the turing test.

With Massive Database of conversation + Darpa TIDES summarization + sophisticated chatbot i don't think this is an unreasonable prediction.

2005:
Cheap computers that fall from the sky will cause everyone to hold hands and sing "kumbiah."

The Real Timeline of the Future

[Anonymous Coward]

2005 Same old shit, different package

2006 TV sinks to new low, Goatse.cx guy loses unfair competition suit

2010 Apple and Linux still at <10%, but Microsoft goes bust because people stopped upgrading 8 years before

2012 Human organs from cloned cells go on sale at Walmart

2014 Last of the Jon Katz trolls found dead in his appartment, his contribution to the internet will be missed

2017 Human implant of computers with hormonal interfaces become all the rage until Ariz attorneys figure out how to spam them, 1,000's claw the circuits from their bodies as spammers claim free speech rights

2018 First man lands on mars, finds old coke can, world stunned, National Enquirer rules the news stands

2019 Last oil well dries up, freeways become trailer parks of giant SUVs

2021 Near earth pass of comet fills atmosphere with dust, temperature drops, baby born in Miami FL with full fur coat

2070 Man returns from Mars, finds world run by apes.

Re:Heres what

[ChiPHeaD23]

Great, now we have people making political theories based on Civilization (the game)?

I recommend we research Mathemathics so we can build catapult!

Re:Most of this sounds unlikely..

[Anonymous Coward]

Whole generation effectively unable to read, write, think and work: 2050

2050??!? more like 1990

Re:Time travel invented ... 2075

[ackthpt]

More like,

2075: Time Travel invented

2002: Time Travel invented, again

Re:Electronic lifeforms.

[Colin Bayer]

Only one question remains: will your sentence be measured in jiffies, ticks, cycles, microseconds, or milliseconds? ;)

Old news...

[Nick Smith]

"25 % of TV celebrities synthetic: 2010".

I think we passed this milestone some years ago....

Re:85% accurate?

[shogun]

I can draw up a 100% accurate timeline for the next N years, you pick the N:

Year 1: Someone dies, someone's born.
Year 2: Someone dies, someone's born.
...
Year N: Someone dies, someone's born.

Of course it will be totally wrong after a certain year in which X if we have a major cometary impact that wipes out all life on Earth.

Slashdot in the future!

[Anonymous Coward]

• 2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts."
• 2002. CmdrTaco married.
• 2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.
• 2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God.
• 2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity.
• 2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."
• 2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
• 2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms.
• 2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again.
• 2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
• 2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again.
• 2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place.
• 2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
• 2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time.

Take the... uhm.. other pill.

[segvio]

"Creation of The Matrix.....2025".
Some of these predictions seem to suggest that someone watched too many movies. Although other things mentioned, like the first AI entity to be given rights remind me of books like "Spiritual Machines".

AI Lifeforms?

[irony nazi]

I couldn't help but notice that BT left some of the very basics off of their list.

For example:

In 2013, will my computer agent colleagues get as frustrated as I everytime that the printer has a f@#*ing paper jam?

Missing predictions?

[pinkpineapple]

GNU Hurd shipping? No date
Linux as a mainstream Desktop OS? No date
Microsoft launching their own space program? No date

PPA, the girl next door

Anyone reminded of the Megaman X timeline?

[Anonymous Coward]

20XX - Dr. Light conceptualizes advanced Artificial Intelligence.

20XX - Construction begins on Zero by Dr. Wily, be it schematics or actual construction.

20XX (September 18) - Dr. Light seals X away to run diagnostic tests, knowing he won't survive long enough to do them himself. The diagnostics must last at least 30 years.

100 Years Later

2114 or later (April 10 through April 14) - Dr. Cain discovers X while searching for fossilized plant life. Cain holds conversation with X and finds him intruiging.

8 Months Later - Dr. Cain produces his first "Reploid," a robot formed from Cain's interpretation of X's designs.

2 Months Later - Reploid assembly lines commonplace.

1 Month Later - Hunters assembled after first 3 Maverick instances.

1 Month Later - Sigma takes the lead of the Maverick Hunters.

Unknown Time Length - Sigma battles Zero as a Maverick in the cave. Virus spread from to Sigma upon Zero's defeat. Zero repaired by Dr. Cain, and taken under Sigma's watch in the Hunter organization.

3 Months Later (June 4) - Sigma leads first large-scale Maverick revolt, taking most Hunters with him. X and Zero dispatched to destroy him. First confrontation with Vile, a former Hunter from the 17th Unit. Zero self-destructs to destroy Vile. X defeats Vile, then Sigma. X becomes leader of the Hunters.

6 Months Later - First large-scale revolt still being cleaned up by the Hunters. X-Hunters (Agile, Serges, Violen) are formed, and hatch plan to destroy X. Zero's parts reassembled. X destroys Sigma again.

Unknown Time Length - Techno hacks into Hunter mother computer and uses data against the Hunters. X defeats Techno, thereby accidentally bringing down his twin brother Middy with him. Techno speaks of virus as Sigma's ability to "control" the hearts of Reploids.

etc...

Re:Nah this is how it goes...

[Serial Troller]

• 2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts."
• 2002. CmdrTaco married.
• 2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.
• 2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God.
• 2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity.
• 2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."
• 2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
• 2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms.
• 2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again.
• 2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
• 2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again.
• 2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place.
• 2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
• 2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time.

Re:My own predictions.

[Alsee]

99% of Slashdot comment submitters use "Preview" button before submitting: 2793

I think we can move this date up a bit if we have the "Preview" button generate an Orgasmatron-E-Mail.

-

Re:Hmmm...

[raju1kabir]

Seriously, a lot of these predictions seem a bit off-the-wall.

Off-the-wall? His sequencing is downright wacky. He's got pie-in-the-sky stuff that nobody knows how to even think of approaching, happening later in the week. And then he mis-extrapolates mundane trends way off into the declining years of the universe.

• 2002 - Intranasal nanobots turn snot into gold
• 2003 - Time travel becomes affordable for recreational consumer use
• 2006 - AI androids declare New Jersey an independent nation dedicated to the production of lyric poetry
• 2009 - Schoolchild working on a science fair project develops a magnetic-bottle device that traps God
• 2035 - Internet usage in the UK reaches 43% of households