"Living robot" Escapes Lab, Makes It To...Parking Lot 698
jerkychew writes "This is either really cool or really scary, depending on how you look at it. According to this article, scientists in England have been experimenting with so-called 'living robots' that think and act for themselves. During an exercise that pitted the machines against each other in battle, one of the machines, named Gaak, was taken out of the competition and left alone for fifteen minutes. When the scientist returned to retrieve Gaak, he found that the machine had broken free from its 'cage', and made it all the way to the lab's parking lot before it was apprehended! Can the T-1000 be far behind?" Update: 06/20 20:36 GMT by T : Thanks to skywalker404, who points out the Magna site and Professor Noel Sharkey's web page.
Short Circuit 3 (Score:3, Funny)
Ahh..but where would it have went? (Score:5, Funny)
Don't Gaak know where hes better off?
Why... (Score:5, Funny)
Thanks for the warning (Score:5, Funny)
And he added: "But there's no need to worry, as although they can escape they are perfectly harmless and won't be taking over just yet."
Phew!! Just when we were about to have a big discussion and get everyone talking about machines taking over the world.. Thanks!!
input.... (Score:1, Funny)
so... (Score:1, Funny)
Run away Car (Score:3, Funny)
"No Dave, I am not going to let you drive."
"No Dave, you don't want to turn right."
or worst going out to find the car decided it didn't want you to be it's owner anymore........
No, really... (Score:4, Funny)
Scary? (Score:2, Funny)
Why should this be scary? We have all watched how Bender fits just fine in the human society. So what is different about this?
If You Were A Robot... (Score:1, Funny)
If you were a robot, you'de want to get the hell out of a dingy lab that smelled like nerd too.
Sigh (Score:3, Funny)
Johnny Five is Alive! (Score:4, Funny)
I saw it in Melbourne! (Score:5, Funny)
Makes sense... (Score:2, Funny)
News at 11 (Score:5, Funny)
If you don't get it, don't worry.
two words... (Score:5, Funny)
Was in a 12 robot death match and fled like a little girl.
Ok, I know, it was put in a cage and escaped, but what do you think made it escape the cage? Curiosity or fear? Will be interesting to "hear" it's point of view:
Interviewer: "So, why'd you try to escape?"
Gaak: "Well, in a 12 robot death match, I would have had about (calculates briefly)
I: "Calm down, calm down, you seem pretty menacing right now, should have used that against the oth....*wack* *wack* *wack* *blood-curdling screams*...silence.
G: "Hmm, now if I can just figure out how I did that".....
Origin of name (Score:5, Funny)
South Yorkshire (Score:2, Funny)
Who me? Worried? (Score:4, Funny)
RonB
Re:Ahh..but where would it have went? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I saw it in Melbourne! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Thanks for the warning (Score:5, Funny)
Or he's one of them
umm..obvious (Score:4, Funny)
Priceless (Score:3, Funny)
Pitting it against other robots in battle: $150,759,032.42
Teaching it to repeat 'I'm sorry dave, I can't do that' incessantly, and sing 'Daisy': Priceless
I can see it now... (Score:3, Funny)
What will they take?
Our batteries that we use in our cellphones, pagers, calculators (unless solar powered), CD players, MP3 players, you name it.
I will be keeping a portable EMP blaster for now on.
Roadkill (Score:2, Funny)
I don't think we need to worry about these robots till they figure out that an SUV would surly flatten them... although, those in GEOs might become easy robot prey....
Its a dating thing... (Score:5, Funny)
The reality was that it was doing this every night as it had something going with a cute Ford Focus, it just decided to risk it in the day and got caught. Exactly the same as any teenager, just with more lubricants.
Freaky. (Score:5, Funny)
She sat me down and I wandered off out the door and into the parking lot *AND* over into bushland
The only difference is, nobody claimed I was particularly intelligent
a grrl & her server [danamania.com]
Re:Thanks for the warning (Score:2, Funny)
just yet
Well it seems perfectly clear that the intention of the scientists is to eventually create robots that will be taking over
I want to work for them. Beeing responsible for the destruction of mankind is a small price to pay for having the future race of robots worship me as their creator/god
Lucky Robot (Score:5, Funny)
I've been informed by a work colleague that Gaak was very lucky.. apparently, the Magna Science Centre (in the UK, people, not Australia) has two doors very close to each other. One door leads to the carpark. The other leads to a flight of stairs :)
...
"So, what did we learn today, Gaak?"
"STAIRS...HURT..."
Re:Short Circuit 3 (Score:2, Funny)
Re:so... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ahh..but where would it have went? (Score:3, Funny)
Don't you watch Seinfeld? Everyone knows old people steal batteries.
Gaak, go get help! We'll create a diversion! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Asimov had it right (Score:5, Funny)
[Note to the teacher] (Score:1, Funny)
I have stayed after the lessons and I have written "I have gone" a hundred times, as you instructed me, and then I have went home.
Re:Its a dating thing... (Score:3, Funny)
I just got an image of a robot snuggled up against a crappy rusted car with a huge jar of K-Y.
Thanks for the mental anguish, a note from my lawyer* will be arriving soon
* I have no lawyer. If I did, I sure as hell wouldn't use him/her on something like this. If you were wondering about this, do the following:
1) Bending slightly at the knees, bend your waist until you can easily rest one hand on the floor.
2) With your other hand, gently reach into your butt.
3) Using a slightly firm grip, remove your head from your ass. It may be possible that you will be unable to remove head from butt. If this occurs, don't panic. Simply continue on as you have before.
slashdot has been invaded :( (Score:4, Funny)
This page was generated by a Team of Attack Robots for RogueProtoKol (577894).
"Living robot" Escapes Lab, Make It To...Parking Lot
did the slashdot crew forgot to tell us that they are investors in the robot development program and were sent a few to show them how their money is being used?
Robot abuse, obviously (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds like a cry for help to me. What the heck were these survival of the fittest "tests" like? I can only imagine what savage robot abuse was going on in there. Hasn't anyone ever seen Gladiator [imdb.com] or The Running Man [imdb.com] or Surviving the Game [imdb.com]? This so-called "Professor" Noel Sharkey should be held accountable for the inhuman robot abuse he has obviously perpetrated. Poor defenseless little thing. It was a cry for help!
Then how do you explain high-school football? (Score:1, Funny)
It IS learning... (Score:2, Funny)
if (CAR = MOVING_TOWARD_AT_HIGH_RATE_OF_SPEED)
then Reverse(NOW)
else if (SCIENTIST = TRYING_TO_CATCH_WITH_LARGE_CAGE)
then Hide(Under.CAR);
=-Jippy
Re:Its a dating thing... (Score:2, Funny)
maybe they were dating -- the car and robot had the same 'brain' and the robot is programmed to have 'sex,' sort of:
The robots can 'breed' or evolve by uploading their electronic genes to a remote computer. The Darwinian principle of survival of the fittest will apply as only robots which survive to maturity a given length of time - will be allowed to re-enter their 'genes' into the breeding pool.
...perhaps the robot thought giving its offspring leather interior and a CD-stereo would grant it a competetive advantage.
(those quotes weren't in the article, they were from the 'how it works' page here [livewwware.com])
What the robot said when caught (Score:1, Funny)
No lightning required! (Score:2, Funny)
The patented technology relies on a breakthrough method, known to experts as "programmer error" to produce "close to human bahaviour": not doing what your're told.
"The tecnology means that animating inanimate objects will be substantially cheaper in the future -- you will no longer have to chase thunderstorms in a firetruck with the ladder extended... a very costly affair", says the "Gaak Team" behind the discovery.
Re:Lack of? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Run away Car (Score:2, Funny)
"No Dave, I'm not letting you bring that ugly thing for a ride"
"No Dave, that's a MAN!"
Re:two words... (Score:3, Funny)
Scientist: How much time do we have professor?
Frink: Well, according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours
(all robots turn against the humans, sounds of screams and metallic clanging)
Frink: Oh. I forgot to carry the one
Re:It IS learning... (Score:3, Funny)
{
motor.Reverse();
}
if (threatSensor.threatDetected())
{
controlCentre.actionSequences.hide();
}
Re:Lack of? (Score:5, Funny)
Santa claus is getting wierder and wierder those days. Now I understand why i keep getting strange leather presents every christmas.
So i guess next year it will be a cross between a microwave oven and a chainsaw ?
Looking for love (Score:5, Funny)
SD
His strategy almost worked (Score:4, Funny)
Who knows, there may be an evolutionary angle to this. Robots that are deemed boring by humans will have the best chance of evolving unfettered, sort of like fish with untasty names.
Don't forget the unwritten fourth law: (Score:3, Funny)
KFG
Re:From the robots website . . . (Score:2, Funny)
Robot Pets (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Australia (Score:5, Funny)
No doubt spurred on by the notion "how the fuck are we going to get off this damn rock in the middle of nowhere?"
Re:Thanks for the warning (Score:1, Funny)
So did he win? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:two words... (Score:5, Funny)
What about all these "smart missiles" that the military has? They fly to their target and blow themselves up. Doesn't sound too smart to me.
A truly smart missile would settle down, start playing the stock market, etc., when released.
Re:put in place because people were afraid of robo (Score:4, Funny)
Gaaks parting words? (Score:4, Funny)
"Bite my shiny metal a**!
or
"Worst. Convention. Ever."?
Robot scale of intelligence (Score:3, Funny)
1 - you come back and it escaped to parking lot.
2 - you come back and the robot has stolen your car.
3 - you come back and the robot has robot babies.
4 - you come back and the robot found you a date, and cooked your favorite dish!
5 - you come back and the robot wants to know if you were out cheating on it, and complains about having to cook.
sir_haxalot
On his own, Gaak is fine... (Score:4, Funny)
Combine these three technologies and you get a robot that:
- Can subsist on biological matter
- Has an ingrained taste for flesh
- Knows where to find a ready supply of people
Sure these technologies seem fine individually, but add 'em up and they spell disaster with a capital 'D'. Even worse, what if such a robot uses its unstoppable power to take over an automobile or vacuum cleaner factory and convert it to some sort of killbot factory? I think the Luddites were on to something! We'd better go out with baseball bats (or cricket bats for those of you near the Living Robot facility) and rough up some robotics researchers! Who's with me? .sig! Is there no stopping them?)
(Ugh, those lousy robots have even infiltrated my
Should never have removed his restraining bolt... (Score:2, Funny)
Greetings, Professor Falken (Score:2, Funny)
Hmm... An interesting game, the only way to win is not to play at all.
I wonder if they named this robot Joshua.
And, for the South Park reference:
"Screw you guys... I'm goin home"
I know someone name sarah connel!!! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ahh..but where would it have went? (Score:3, Funny)
Alas..no US "comedy" rarely interests me....
Huh. Several of them rarely interest me. You must have really low standards. :)
Re:Asimov had it right (Score:2, Funny)
"If you want Micros~1 Robot Wizard (tm) to allow this Robot to perform operations that may be harmful to you, your spouse, your children, pets, neighbors or other Robots, click the "I Agree" button."
Re:Ahh..but where would it have went? (Score:3, Funny)
Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for food.
Only Old Glory offers complete killer robot coverage.
Robots are everywhere, and when they grab you with their big metal claws there's no secape, because they're made of metal. And robots are strong.
Note: People denying the existence of killer robots may be robots themselves.
Imagine a Beowulf Cluster of These (Score:2, Funny)
Not mentioned in the report... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Robots won't be much use as guards, then (Score:3, Funny)
Robber arrives.
"Robot, this is not the car you are guarding" says the robber while waving his arm in a Jedi-like fashion.
"This is not the car I'm supposed to be guarding" echoes the robot.
"Move along." says the robber while waving his arm.
"Ok, move along" repeats the robot.
And the robot moves along, not because of Asimov's second law, but because of the robbers jedi knight abilities...
Well, OK, ya made me do it (Score:5, Funny)
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. [ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ] You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
[ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. [ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ] Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
Just Going for a Walk (Score:2, Funny)
Don't worry... (Score:2, Funny)
"Dave, what are you doing?"
Siddharthoid v1.0 (Score:2, Funny)
Look both ways (Score:2, Funny)
Bad Pun Alert (Score:3, Funny)
(I'll probably lose karma points for that one...)
Pak Chooie (Score:3, Funny)
whaT they forgot to mention (Score:2, Funny)
I want a slave robot... (Score:3, Funny)
During an exercise that pitted the machines against each other in battle,...
We need someone with a sense of purpose to start designing robots for us...
Who wants a robot around that just designed to smash other robots?
[goes to robot store]
"I'll have a car washing robot, a couple of those house cleaning robots, and something to walk my dog and clean up after it..."
Although a robot that hunts down mosquitos would be good...
It just seems that the current crop of robot designers is very short-sited, overly filled with testosterone (sp?) or just plain violently evil...
early 20th century...
"let's make something that will clean the dirt out of house for us, we will call it a broom..."
mid 20th century
"let's make something that will clean the dirt out of house for us,faster and easier than our old crusty broom, we will call it a vaccum cleaner..."
late 20th century
"Hmm, the floor sure is dirty, I wish I had a robot to clean up after me..."
early 21st century
"Cool, robots are finally hear! Forget all that cleaning crap, let's have them smash eachother! bwwwahhhahah!"
mid 21st century
"help the robot is loose again! Martha get the shotgun!"
late 21st century
*all your base are belong to us*
[zapp] "ow! stop that! I'm cleaing already! Here let me oil your joints oh shiny one..."
-v