Lasers for Fun and Profit

Stuart of Wapping writes "This is a very interesting site, links to pages describing real-life, tried-and-tested Star-Trek/James Bond gadgets... The Laser Medical Pen, or Medpen, developed in-house by the Laser Division of the Air Force Research Laboratory's Directed Energy Directorate, is a second-generation device that provides a physician or paramedic with a unique, compact, portable, and battery-operated laser capability. The laser can cut like a scalpel as well as coagulate bleeding."

Dilberted?

[C0LDFusion]

I remember Scott Adams mentioning something like this in "The Dilbert Future", and why it wouldn't go mainstream, because people would buy them from medical supply stores. And then just imagine them in the hands of your friends. Go to sleep and have your asscrack sealed.

Laser Tag?

[reezle]

Wow, I thought laser pointers in traffic were bad.
This'll bring it to a whole new level.

The good old DED

[Valar]

Air Force Research Laboratory's Directed Energy Directorate
I believe that is under the Department of Redundancy Department.

Household chemicals?

[jafuser]

The COIL [Chemical Oxygen Iodine Laser] utilizes industrial strength household chemicals to produce its power.

Household chemicals? Ooo... so if I mix some ammonia, iodized salt, water, and ketchup, I'll have one of these? I bet my neighbors will quit making noise at 3 in the morning when they know I've got this!

Fun with lasers? RTFM for lasers...

[swordboy]

First page of the instruction manual that comes with a laser:

CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK INTO LASER WITH REMAINING EYE!

Yea but,,,

[FreeLinux]

All that money. All that research. All those lasers.

And yet the one thing I ask for is still missing. That's right. I want some sharks with frickin lasers attached to their heads.

Throw me a bone here, people.

Thats a hell of a pen...

[Bo'Bob'O]

Laser Medical Pen is 12 inches long, less than 1-inch in diameter, and weighs a mere pound.

Life imitates art?

[gwizah]

Is it just me or does this laser [af.mil] laser resemble something out of Real Genius? [imdb.com] Now all we need is a giant Jiffy-Pop package and a mean ol' professor...

Did anyone read the disclaimer page..

[johnlcallaway]

... for the site here [af.mil]? It reads:

Official U.S. government system for authorized use only. Do not discuss, enter, transfer, process or transmit classified, sensitive national security information of greater sensitivity than that for which this system is authorized. Use of this system constitutes consent to monitoring. Unauthorized use could result in criminal prosecution. Unclassified, non-senstive, non-privacy act use only.

Where are the privacy advocates when you really need them??? The were all whining yesterday about toll system monitoring [slashdot.org], yet just by clicking a slashdot link we consent to monitoring.

You people are just not doing your jobs and will have to be fragged.

Obligatory Simpsons Reference

[Cyno01]

Young Frink: Well, sure, the Frinkiac-7 looks impressive [to student] Don't touch it! [back to class] But I predict that within 100 years computers will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will own them.