Homing In On Laser Weapons

Bloodmoon1 writes "I just came across this article at GlobalSecurity.org that gives a very good summary of the current status of solid-state lasers as weapons. It gives you a good idea of where the JSF Laser system is at and just how much time, effort, and money has went into this project. Also has some basic, but very sufficent, explanations of some of the science behind the technology."

Missile

[e8johan]

I still prefer a good old missile! It feels more destructive to fire a rocket at your enemies instead of just flashing (a really *big*) light at 'em. :-)

We`ll have to

[MrFredBloggs]

keep quiet about the whole light and mirrors thing, I guess...

Get out the Popcorn

[Ececheira]

Anyone ready to blow up a house from too much popcorn? :)

Smoke and mirrors

[wiggys]

I suppose the ideal enemy defence would consist of a mirror which could be adjusted to redirect the laser to a target of choice, along with a decent magnifying glass to add that extra bit of punch!

Fancy a game of real-life Deflektor anyone?

I can imagine.....

[Chardish]

The warning labels on the outsides of laser weapons:

CAUTION: DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY INTO LENS

-Evan

Frickin' Lasers

[vasqzr]

Dr. Evil: Back in the 60's, I developed a weather changing machine which was in essence a sophisticated heat beam which we called a 'laser.' Using these 'lasers' we'd punch a hole in the protective layer around the world which we called the 'ozone' layer. Slowly but surely ultraviolet rays would pour in, increasing the risk for skin cancer, that is...unless the world pays us a hefty ransom?
No. 2: Ahem....that also already has happened.
Dr. Evil: Shit!

Frickin Laser Beams!

[Anonymous Custard]

1. I have one simple request, sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to their heads, and it can't be done?
2. ???
3. You mean I actually have frikin sharks with frikin laser beams attached to their frickin heads?!

from the now-all-we-need-is-some-sharks dept.

[tiltowait]

From Austin Powers [google.com]:

Austin - Dr. Evil, do you really expect them to pay?

Dr. Evil - No Mr. Powers, I expect them to die. Even after they pay me the money I'm still going to melt every city on the planet with liquid hot magma. Release the sharks. Mr. Powers you'll notice that all the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.

Number 2 - Dr. Evil, it's about the sharks. When you were frozen they were put on the endangered species list. We tried to get some but it would have taken months to clear up the red tape.

Dr. Evil - Y'know, I have one simple request and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads. Now, evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here. What do we have?

Number 2 - Sea bass.

Dr. Evil - Riiiiight.

Number 2- They are mutated sea bass.

Dr. Evil - Really? Are they ill-tempered?

Number 2 - Absolutely.

Dr. Evil - That's a start.

Soon (wrings hands)

[velcrokitty]

I'll be able to walk into a store and ask for: "Phased plasma rifle in 40-watt range. "

Excellent... Oh wait. 40-watts isn't very much. Is that what the Terminator really asked for? 40 watts? Sheesh. I could just hook up a light bulb and start shining bright lights in people's eyes. Perhaps the idea is to convince them to stare into the bulb for hours on end (like several of my classes that I attended) and eventually go blind-ish...

I will be back...

Re:I can imagine.....

[markom]

Yes, yes, "this side facing enemy" sign should be there, too.

Nice use of our tax dollars

[bazzert]

"$4.5 billion" of our hard earned tax dollars so over grown schoolboys can play with their toys ... great ...

Re:Is it just me...

[BabyDave]

I was scared from the moment I read

Donald Rumsfeld "is hot"

Re:I can imagine.....

[CPIMatt]

No, no. You have to add 'WITH REMAINING EYE'. If you want to do the joke, do it right.

-Matt

Re:Mirrors

[briggsb]

"We have a visual on the missile...er...wait...we're being attacked by a flaming disco ball!"

Asteroids!

[Chibi Merrow]

Hey... Then we could use the laser to heat up one side of the asteroid... and make it land on our enemies! GENIUS! :D

Re:Missile

[Anonymous Coward]

Thats unless the know morse and you beam them a goatsx link, even better long range irda-net them it ;-)

Re:Is it just me...

[BurritoWarrior]

Don't forget how much damage the Taliban did with their M1-A1 tanks, Stealth Fighters, Cruise Missiles, smart bombs and Aegis cruisers.

Yep, technological superiority on the battlefield is moot.

Re:Mirrors

[mikerich]

Smudges, scratches, contaminants would be unavoidable since we're talking about weapons that are meant for remote deployment to harsh environments.

Remember this is military spending here, normal sensible economics no longer apply. Remember the special air-conditioned hangers for Stealth aircraft?

A lot of incidental damage could be prevented by shipping any weapons in a protective sheath that could be removed when the weapon is either ready to fire or installed on the plane. Doesn't the cruise missile already come in a sealed cannister?

But if anyone is interested I'm planning on putting a bid in to develop nanotechnology mirrors. I've no idea how they would work, or if they're even possible, but they sound really cool. Going on yesterday's story about nanotechnology [slashdot.org], I have about as much of a clue as real military researchers.

I think I'm up to squandering a couple of billion USD before unveiling a can of silver spray paint.

Best wishes,
Mike.

Re:We`ll have to

[!splut]

Perhaps some sort of sand/concrete which will degrade pleasantly?

Perhaps by playing a Bach concerto and releasing a soothing lavendar fragrance as it melts to form a replica of Rodin's The Thinker.

Re:Missile

[DroppedPacket]

Which part of the world wants to live in peace?

The Muslim "Convert or Die!" world?
The African "Kill everybody not in our tribe!" world?
The Environmentalist "Do what we want or we will burn down your house!" world?

Re:Mirrors

[prator]

Which means you now have 20-30 targets to destroy in 30 seconds instead of 1 target in 10 seconds. Fun!

I think this is one of the new mini-games in Mario Party 4.

-prator