Ballmer on Windows Server 2003, Linux 1282
no_demons writes "Microsoft's CEO, Steve Ballmer, has given an interview to CNet about Windows Server 2003 and Linux. He claims that 'our customers have seen a lot more innovation from us than they have seen from that [open-source] community'. Discuss." Also in the news: two critical security vulnerabilities (MS03-014, MS03-015), and this piece about Windows 2003 mentioning that Microsoft is trying to develop a command-line only server.
innovation. (Score:5, Funny)
Innovation (Score:5, Funny)
'our customers have seen a lot more innovation from us than they have seen from that [open-source] community'
Probably true - I'd imagine many Microsoft customers are so busy installing service packs and counting their licenses that they haven't had the time to look at Open Source Software.
Its True! (Score:5, Funny)
I'd like to see Linus, RMS or any of those other hippies try to outdance Mr. Balmer.. Er.. No, on second thought I wouldn't like to see that.
Linus Doesn't Shoot... (Score:5, Funny)
Open source is based on the very principles of communism...
But the biggest difference is that Linus isn't going to send you to N. Finland and have Alan Cox shoot you if you whine on /. about your latest/greatest kernel patch...
;)
Hooray! (Score:5, Funny)
And the best part is, it's so simple to use! It has only one command: "reboot."
Re:innovation. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:innovation. (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft, first to implement CLI on top of GUI? (Score:5, Funny)
Balmer's ability to do math (Score:5, Funny)
Then in response to the XBox,
Remember, we brought Windows 1 out in 1983...
I love interviews with Balmer.
Security tools (Score:5, Funny)
Yeah, that tool is called "a non-firewalled internet connection."
Seattle Steve (Score:5, Funny)
They tried to bring a small number of web and print servers through the backdoor but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their links cut.
I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Redmond. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly.
You can go and visit those places. Nothing there, nothing at all. There are DRM checkpoints. Evrything is okay.
Search MSN for this article (Score:2, Funny)
MSN running on an Akami Linux server
http://a1.g.akamaitech.net/6/6/6/6/www.msn.com/ [akamaitech.net]
Re:He has a funny idea of "Innovation." (Score:5, Funny)
A chess master once told me: "Never neglect the obvious. Usually it's obvious because it's right."
Cost of Office (Score:1, Funny)
If you put Office on a PC, it can be one-third of the material cost of the system. Is that sustainable? Hard drives are going down in price and processors are going down in price.
I think that is a bad way to look at it. I don't think the price of software and the price of hardware have some inextricable link. I think what we need to make sure of is customer perception of value versus competitive offerings. I think we've got the right mix of capability, functionality, simplicity, price, etc. I don't think looking at it relative to hardware prices takes you any place.
I'm guessing he's never had to shell out $500+ for Office.
Ballmer abandons the monkey dance! (Score:4, Funny)
"I will no longer be performing the monkey dance," said a sweaty, flatulent Steve Ballmer on Friday morning to a confused crowd at a Redmond Dunkin' Donuts. "I have decided to adopt the 'Iraqi Two-Step' as my favorite mode of expressing my inner funkitude." He then proceeded to bounce up and down, slap his chest and slice his head with a small sword.
"It his outer funk that worries me," said Randy Jarvis, a FedEx deliveryman who stopped a moment to watch the early morning spectacle. He held his nose against the olfactorius assault. "Geez, my eyes are watering. Does this count as a chemical weapon? Will I need to be decontaminated?"
Neither Geroge Clinton nor Tarik Aziz could not be reached for comment.
PS: I love how he said, "This is an interesting time." You think he knows that's a curse in many cultures?
Re:Unlikely (Score:4, Funny)
They did already. It's called Microsoft LAN Manager [prodigy.net].
Re:Hooray! (Score:5, Funny)
The THING the Linux guys have... (Score:1, Funny)
Hey everybody, we have a THING happening here. LoL!
Re:Linus Doesn't Shoot... (Score:2, Funny)
Exactly. Firearms are 100% ESR's domain.
Re:No wonder (Score:2, Funny)
example of innovation ... (Score:2, Funny)
Newsflash: The B2 Spirit is just a clone... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Linus Doesn't Shoot... (Score:3, Funny)
Spoken like someone who has never been to Pontypridd.
Time to strategize (Score:3, Funny)
Also: Microsoft is trying to develop a command-line only server.
So to sum this up: Balmer is going to demonstrate the innovative advantage of his company by producing a "command line interface". How could a command line interface be made work on a computer? What might it possibly look like? If we in the linux community do not want to be completely left behind, we'd better get together and figure out how we could possibly come up with such an interface and somehow integrate it into the OS. Time for some serious hacking! Stick it to the man!!
Re:Steve shares nose surgeon with Michael Jackson? (Score:1, Funny)
I'm proud to say that there is no such danger in XP. Windows pop up when I want to make a change, and then more pop up to ask if I'm sure I want the change. Thankfully, Windows XP looks after my computer's well-being by occasionally switching configuration settings from the way I want them to what the OS programmers think they might probably ought to be. Boy, I'm just impressed with how smart they are. Once I learned to live with whatever the default settings are on any new hardware I install, I can't say the number of hours I have saved.
I use that spare time to reboot my Windows XP machine multiple times a day. Technical support personnel recommend that I do it regularly-- kind of like brushing my teeth. To help remind me of this necessity, windows pop up to tell me to reboot whenever I make a configuration change. By now my machine is minty fresh, I figure.
There is no such useful rebooting in a Linux system. It is as reliable as the sunrise, with uptimes in weeks, months and years. Virtually no configuration change requires a reboot, to boot. Imagine all that plaque in the computer. Gross!
In XP I am prevented from making dangerous fundamental configuration changes unless I use a special "registry editor". I have found it so useful to have this separate editor that I hope in future versions they go all the way and supply a separate editor for each file on the disk-- in that way windows could pop up at every keystroke to warn me that changing any line in the file I am editing could cause the system to not run properly. If this were only the case, people would finally learn that it is best to just stick with the mouse and they would be freed of the need to constantly move their hands back to the keyboard. (If one stops to think about it, the mouse is a much better device to use than the keyboard. Ever hear of someone getting carpal tunnel syndrome from a mouse? No. It's comfortable and ergonomic. Like Morse code devices. That's how long distance communication started, after all.)
Linux, by contrast, requires no special editor to change configuration files. The fact that there is no "registry" in Linux allows the abomination of using any text editor whatsoever to do the configuration. Can you believe that configuration files are usually stored clear text? Talk about dangerous!
I am also happy to report that I have experienced no truth to the rumor that Windows disks become corrupt after improper shutdowns. Indeed, I have been forced to improperly shutdown the machine innumerable times after it locks up, and I have no apparent problems to report regarding the disk. No such claim can be made for Linux. They say something about lack of data points. Excuses are all I ever seem to hear from the Linux crowd.
By sheer size alone, Windows XP beats Linux hands down. It is so much bigger, it is _obvious_ that it is better. Why would you want a small OS with the large disks and RAM sizes we have these days? For this reason alone, I heartily recommend Windows as a way to maximize resource utilization. Your CPU and disk will constantly be pegged to the limit, the way god intended. The Linux kernel and drivers accounts for only about 750KB. Why, even the Microsoft Win16 subsystem uses more space than that.
It is no surprise that Windows XP costs $300 on the retail market and Linux doesn't cost anything. People know what they want, and they want Windows XP. Because Linux is free, that means it's basically worthless. The same goes for all the development tools, remotable GUIs, and app
Re:Best. Quote. Ever. (Score:5, Funny)
Wouldn't it be funny if he had then said:
Then we're going to go totally nuts, plug in the network cable and run something on it. Oh shit, I wasn't talking out loud just now, was I?
Steve got it right (Score:2, Funny)
That's certainly true. They have come up with far more innovative ways to introduce fatal security holes [extremetech.com], integrate flawed and overly restrictive DRM [epic.org] into their products, and come out with countless patches and service packs that sometimes even break basic system functionality [computerworld.com]. On top of that, M$ continues to complain that the very existence of open source might actually force them to improve their products! [com.com] Sorry about that Bill, we obviously miscalculated what a burden we were placing on you. Please let us know what we can do to help your business stay the way it is and keep pissing off your users [eweek.com].
PHB speak translation (Score:5, Funny)
Quote: "I'm not saying that it doesn't have some place for some customers, but that is not an innovative proposition."
Translation: "It's a big fat blimp on our threat radar. We're out to fry their asses before they get ours."
Quote: "On the other hand, in terms of putting a clear, simple proposition in front of the customer, I think we have a leading edge proposition."
Translation:"We'll make them an offer they can't refuse."
Quote: "I do think there are things that people don't understand very well about the new alternative, where it is important for us to help customers understand the issues."
Translation: "Our FUD tactics worked well in the past and I don't see why they shouldn't work as well in the future."
Quote: "[...] some people are choosing Linux. I don't think that is going to continue to be the case."
Translation: "Yeah, we're pretty scared about customers considering a switch and haven't really figured out how to counter that threat yet, but why admit it?."
Quote: "If the lead developer for this component chooses to do something else with his life, who will carry on the mantle for that?"
Ballmer's thoughts: "Let's hope the interviewer doesn't ask what happens if we decide to discontinue a product."
Quote: "There are still challenges in parts of Asia. We have seen improvements in Latin America."
Translation: "In Asia, they steal our software like there's no tomorrow. Latin America isn't really much better."
Quote: "By hook or by crook, so to speak, there will be 5-plus million servers, roughly, sold in the next 12 months."
Translation: "If this server consolidation thingy that's been going on lately is just a fad, we'll be doing fine. Otherwise, well..."
Quote: "everybody likes to talk about Google, which is fine. They are doing a good job as a company. But for traffic, Yahoo is doing quite well and we are doing quite well."
Translation: "Google is kicking our collective pasty white rumps so hard you woldn't believe it. Let's just hope they go public so we can buy them out."
Quote: "No, I don't anticipate making a change of that ilk [Licensing 6] in the foreseeable future."
Translation: "Our vendor-lock-in strategy worked, and now we have them by the balls."
Those innovative licenses... (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, those restrictive, expensive, perpetual licensig agreements you force your customers to sign now would never have been thought of by the free/open source community.
Re:He has a funny idea of "Innovation." (Score:3, Funny)
To be completely fair, you should ask the same thing about Microsofts products. Right now I can think of a freaking annoying paperclip, randomly arbitrarily disappearing menu items, the infinite meta-security-update (the update to the patch to the service release to the security fix to the upgrade to the whatnot), the 5000-slide wizard with one dumb-ass question (that doesn't make sense out of context and seen without the associated questions) on each slide, the RIAA alliance, the everything-is-prefixed-with-"My" paradigm, the idea of torturing users with the most hideous colors known to mankind, and the refusal to run programs not personally approved by Bill the Overlord. Granted, that's a lot of innovation.
I am unsure of whether to credit Redmond with treating customers like morons as the foundation of your product. I am sure Newscorp thought of this one first.
Re:Linus Doesn't Shoot... (Score:3, Funny)
Spoken like someone who has never been to Pontypridd.
This just in from the Iraqi Information Minister.. (Score:2, Funny)
Return of the Living Dead (Score:3, Funny)
"We keep burying it and it keeps coming back to life, goddamnit, and it's multiplying. So we keep it in barrels on a toxic waste site. Don't let it bite you or you're dead."
(Ol' Lady Hopper musta exposed her language to Trioxin 2-4-5 by mistake.)
Re:He has a funny idea of "Innovation." (Score:5, Funny)
I've got two words for you. (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft Bob.
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
Updates are definitely needed to old MS technology (Score:3, Funny)
I think we need a new version of Steve Ballmer. At least a release version, please. We've been limping along on v. 0.46 too long. I hope the new version will have networking, instead of thinking of itself as a solitary god.
Ohter new technology we need from Microsoft:
TrueSpeak: So we don't have to hear the same old baloney.
WorkWell: Get rid of that mountain of sloppy code!
PlayTogether: Stop trying to run other people and technologies out of business. $20 billion is enough for one person. Why do you want more?
Re:innovation. (Score:3, Funny)
Don't forget the paperclip [microsoft.com] (e.g; a paperclip-less office).
Is windows still designed for? ... (Score:2, Funny)
Still hilarious after all these years.
Re:No wonder (Score:1, Funny)
Re:No wonder (Score:3, Funny)
Both Symantec Ghost [symantec.com] and PowerQuest [powerquest.com] work with Linux.
Balmer: next Iraqi Information minister... (Score:4, Funny)
Absolutely ! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Windows Server Feature Requesting My Shiny Hiny (Score:3, Funny)
Where's your problem ?
I usually setup the recycle bin on the servers to 0 KB and "immediate delete", so that it doesn't take up 10% of the drive, like the default.
Just tell 'em that "delete is delete" and the recovery from backup requires you to bill the time on their cost center.
After some time, they'll learn to use their computers.