Today's SCO News

landoltjp writes "SCO (Nasdaq: SCOX) are hosting a teleconference today in order to clear the air (*snort*) regarding "Novell's baseless UNIX ownership assertions" and other bits of hubbub and nonesense that's in the news today. Should be fun." And SCO has apparently been enjoined from making some of its claims by a German court (also here.) Cringely has an editorial on the whole mess.

Enough already..

[thrillbert]

I've had it.. Okay, I just checked my wallet, and I'm ready to offer $43.00 cash for The SCO Group. I know I'm overpaying, but I just want to stop hearing about them!

---
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-- Benjamin Franklin, 1759

Re:Enough already..

[russwyte]

I have a "You won a free Coke" bottle top to throw in.

If this doesn't end soon

[kmilani2134]

$0 is going to have their own section in Slashdot.

Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Anonymous Coward]

Der Bremer Linux-Spezialist univention_ hat vor dem Bremer Landgericht gegen die SCO Group GmbH eine einstweilige Verfügung erwirkt.

Well! I'm certainly glad to have that cleared up.

teleconference /. redux...

[pb]

...I'm sure they're using SCO UnixWare wherever possible, so dive right in, boys, I'm sure you won't /. them! After all, it's *much* more reliable than Linux, right??

Hot air...

[VCAGuy]

Don't these people realize that they're wasting a renewable resource: hot air! We could probably produce megawatts from all of this ill wind...

SCO is out of control.

[Lemmy Caution]

Just when did SCO become the North Korea of IT?

Wish I could TiVo it!

[SYFer]

Fantastic! Since HBO did not air the final episode of "Six Feet Under" last weekend, I have been feeling serial drama-deprived all week!

From this colorful agenda item from the press release, "Comments on Novell's baseless UNIX ownership assertions," it would appear that a fun and exciting installment is about to begin!

Will Novell save Linux? Will SCO go through with the suicide? Will IBM get drunk and break a lamp over SCO's head?

Saddle up!

[anagama]

I'm hoping for some good old west style vigilante justice!

Re:Great...

[mahdi13]

Let's see, who's all involved again?

SCO sues IBM
SCO threatens 1500 Linux 'users'
Linus says SCO is full of it and wants proof
Novell knocks SCO on the head for being ID10T's
SCO threatens Linus if they don't receive the ransom^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H licenses
Microsoft funds SCO, but claims it was 'business as usual'

I think this might make things a little clearer... [arie.org]

How the conference will go . . .

[UnknowingFool]

$CO is wonderful.
All hail the great and powerful $CO.
Pay no attention to the code behind the curtain!
All hail the great and powerful $CO.

Re:Great...

[Rick.C]

Let's see how this turns out. All these claims from so many companies, I'd like to see what the final conclusion is.

The Sun will nova, engulfing the Earth and SCO in its massive death-blast. SCO's still-undisclosed trade secret IP will be vaporized and that will pretty much be that.

Re:Enough already..

[Surak]

And I'll add in my belly button lint collection!

From Yahoo!...

[NetRanger]

SCO GROUP INC (Nasdaq:SCOX)
Last Trade
12:26pm $6.66

Hmmmm, 'nuff said.

Re:Enough already..

[tmasssey]

And I'll add my Rythms and K-Mart stock. It's worth at *least* as much as the SCO stock will be in a couple of months...

Re:Enough already..

[Lord_Slepnir]

In other news, an ellusive Slashdot user named thrillbert inadventently bought up all SCO stock in a hostile take-over

"While we were hoping to sue IBM for millions, we multiplied our chances of winning with the amount we were sueing for, and realized that $43.00 cash was a better offer" Said the chairman of the board at SCO "We hope that with this money, We can give our board of directors a severance package of a pack of Oreo Cookies and enough money to hopefully call a cab before the Better Bussiness Beauru shows up".

Babelfish to the rescue!

[Mothra the III]

That of Bremen Linux specialist univention _ obtained regional court before that of Bremen against the SCO Group GmbH a provisional order

Hello Cringley, I'm your friendly grammar nazi

[Anonymous Coward]

"I doubt it has very little in common with the original Unix licensed from AT&T however long ago."

So, what you're saying is that you believe it has quite a bit in common with the original Unix?

No?

Well then, maybe what you were looking for was "I doubt it has very much in common with the original Unix licensed from AT&T however long ago."

What do you say...

[grub]

Q: What do you say to an SCO employee in 2005?


A: I'll have a Big Mac, large fries and a Coke.

Re:Enough already..

[FroMan]

How about the bottle instead. Fill with some 190 proof and a rag.

I found the line of copied code SCO is refering to

[theophilosophilus]

for(int i=0;in;i++) They'll be after me next, I use that all the time.

This may help clear things up...

[oldmildog]

If you're new to the SCO drama, you can play catch-up here [arie.org] in a context we can all understand.

Secret SCO memo explains whole thing...

[DailyGrind]

Memo
From: SCO Management
To: SCO Legal Team

There is no spoon!

Re:now that you mention it [netcraft]

[TCaptain]

Quick somebody send them a copy of their threatening letter!

/dev/null

[youaredan]

I suggest we move them to /dev/null ... all in favor? :-)

Re:Actually, they're closer to the Iraq of IT

[Alan Cox]

It does seem that way - they don't seem to own any copyrights of mass destruction after all 8)

Re:The headline says it all...

[TopShelf]

On the other hand, it's good to see that the former Iraqi Information Minister has found new employment...

New the SCO Press Release

[Bull999999]

SCO: We chose Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf as our new spokesman as he best represents the ideas and image of SCO.

Re:Cringley, Linus, and Christoph Hellwig

[ArsonSmith]

sometimes I think he is on something

Re:bought and paid for

[Bull999999]

You forgot this...

4)M$ will release M$ UNIX

5)The next day, users of M$ UNIX (former users of SCO) reports the first BSOD for UNIX in the history of UNIX.

Gyuh! Gyuh! Gyuh!

[Revvy]

Just th' good ol' boys
Never meanin' no harm... [arie.org]

SCO in 70's TV terms

[studboy]

A Mr. Arie Rubenstein has helped us out here --

"To make [the SCO vs Linux thing] easier to understand, I put it in familiar terms -- Dukes of Hazzard [arie.org]"!

(warning: mirror needed)

News Release

[grub]

For Immediate Release
May 30, 2003
Salt Lake City, Utah, USA

The SCO Group is proud to announce the latest product in its family of
software products. "LawsuitClusterFuck(tm)" uses advanced SCO
technologies to send out threatening letters to random businesses
harvested from the internet.

"It's a great day for the internet, open source and business!"
proclaimed SCO spokesperson Charles F. Uckwad, III. "If you wanted
to send out menacing extortion letters before, one would have to
look up the address of the recipient. Now, with "LawsuitClusterFuck(tm)"
you just need to write up the threat as a standard form letter. Using
standard variable names such as $COMPANY, $SHAKEDOWN_AMOUNT and
$LIE_NUM the LawsuitClusterFuck software will use SCO's advanced
hieristics to fill in the blanks. You'll need to hire an army of
envelope stuffers!"

-- The SCO Group is based in Salt Lake City, Utah and has done nothing of interest in many years.

Check out memepool

[los furtive]

Memepool [memepool.com] has a link to a fantastic Dukes of Hazard interpretation of the whole SCO/Linux affair [arie.org].

Re:Babelfish to the rescue!

[Jonathunder]

That of Bremen Linux specialist univention _ obtained regional court before that of Bremen against the SCO Group GmbH a provisional order

Yes, I'm certainly glad that's been cleared up.

Re:Great...

[Anonymous Coward]

The Sun will nova, engulfing the Earth [...]

Listen, I know some of the old SparcStation 10s run hot, but if you ensure proper ventilation and kept to the recommended CPU combinations you'll have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Re:The German article

[Daniel Dvorkin]

"In order to protect the rights of ethnic Linux users, we must attack SCO in self-defense."

There ya go. ;)

We need a new sub-domain

[Agent Deepshit]

scovslinux.slashdot.org. It will make SCO/Linux stories easier to find. I am tired of scrolling through a bunch of technical stories to find them.

Re:Enough already..

[thegameiam]

I've got a whole bunch of WorldCom stock to add to the pot, if we're talking about bankrupt ideas and ethics...

-David Barak

A translation of the translation...

[Chordonblue]

SCO ist the celebration of the repellant and painful.

Would you like to touch my monkey?

Now ist the time ver ve dance!

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Anonymous Coward]

Sie dumme Amerikaner können nicht nichts lesen, ausgenommen Ihre Selbst Version von Englisch bastardisiert, das in, das sich ist, a Version von Anglo-Saxon bastardisiert. Wir lesen andererseits einige Sprachen und haben Frauen besser schauen aufzuladen.

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean you can't read German? Germans can read English.

Pity they can't write it. That'd solve a lot of problems.

Re:Enough already..

[Anonymous Coward]

You guys are paying WAY too much...

Re:Wish I could TiVo it!

[Anonymous Coward]

upcoming six feet under episode
Cause of death: crushed by a runaway train
The corpse: played by SCO
Relative who refuses to pay for the funeral: IBM
Relative who throws in pillow for unpaid funeral: Microsoft
Train: Linux

Re:What do you say...

[kenthorvath]

Q: What do you say to an SCO employee in 2005?

A: Nobody ever got fired for buying IBM...

Re:The headline says it all...

[JaJ_D]

On the other hand, it's good to see that the former Iraqi Information Minister has found new employment...

Hey come on thats well out of order!

He may wish to work for a deranged power mad nutcase intent on world domination but even he has some morals.

Anyway Bill Gates offered him the a role at MS.

:-]

jaj

Re:The headline says it all...

[opkool]

The interview to SCO Information Minister is here [pclinuxonline.com]

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[nhavar]

all I saw was 'die SCO' and it made me smile.

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[MrM]

My Babelfish version came out a little different:

You dummy Amerikans, all your base are belong to us.

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Anonymous Coward]

Sie müssen vom inferrior, österreichischer Dialekt übersetzt haben. In reinem preussischer Deutscher, ist er:

Ihre Ganze Unterseite Sind Gehören Uns.

Re:"SCO in die Schranken verwiesen"

[schon]

"Schranken verwiesen"

Isn't that what happens to your naughty bits when you go swimming in a cold lake? :o)

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Wilebi]

Der Bremer Linux-Spezialist univention_ hat vor dem Bremer Landgericht gegen die SCO Group GmbH eine einstweilige Verfügung erwirkt.

Well! I'm certainly glad to have that cleared up.


I dunno, it seemed like good reading to me.
---
Sigs are for weenies.

It'll be over soon anyway

[Anonymous Coward]

I grepped the kernel source for their code, but there's not a singly instance of "Hello World!". If that doesn't settle the case, I don't know what will.

prompts an innocent question

[zptdooda]

Wonder about their webcast too - could have made a good phone-in question this past week.

Something like "You're running this webcast on Linux - why is that?"

Re:Enough already..

[rowanxmas]

And I'll throw in my IBM Deathstar

At IBM this is actually called the "WebSphere".

And yes, it is a FULLY FUNCTIONAL WEB SPHERE!

Re:this is killing Linux, OSD in general

[tuffy]

CIO of my corporation today sent out a corporate memo to all IT departments. Basically it demands that any departmental pilot projects involving open-source materials be placed on hold given the 'ongoing legal concerns about the licensing of open source materials'.

Perhaps I should send an anonymous letter to your CIO warning that certain unnamed portions of Microsoft software have been taken from GPLed sources. I won't name the software, or tell what code's been taken. Instead, I'll just assert that all the "evidence" will come out someday in court, billions of $ will be involved and everybody's liable.

Given two contradictory freight trains of FUD, perhaps his little head will burst.

Re:If this doesn't end soon

[mr_z_beeblebrox]

Sorry the above quote was attributed to the Sco information Minister.

SCO -vs- Linux explained

[the_rev_matt]

Probably the best* explanation of the situation I've seen yet is this [arie.org].

*best in the sense of being hilarious.

caldera icon

[stinky wizzleteats]

Is there any way to change the caldera story icon to something like a zombie hand or rotten fish head or something? I don't think they deserve to be recognized by their official corporate symbol anymore. If Microsoft rates a borg photoshop, Caldera certainly should get something more exemplary of their character and bearing.

Like say, cat vomit.

Re:could sco be using this time to edit there own

[Znonymous Coward]

could sco be using this time to edit there own CVS logs?

No... First they edit their pocket books, then they fold up shop and edit their pants.

Re:$C0 COLLECTION PLATE

[Ashtead]

$C0 ... I read that as 192 dollars. Upping the ante as it were?

Story with Pictures!

[TeachingMachines]

For an interesting alternative to all of the complications being presented in the current case, may I suggest a "picture book [arie.org]" view for the younger readers.

Re:Enough already..

[ShortSpecialBus]

Fully OPERATIONAL, like the Death Star, or Fully Functional, like Data in Star Trek?

Re:Enough already..

[Amazing Quantum Man]

You found a car in your couch? Damn, that's one big couch!

Re:Enough already..

[krumms]

Surak,

You can't offer your Lint: it's not yours to offer. That is, it's us - not you, not Novell - who are currently in posession of the OpenLintSource98(tm) IP.

Fuck with us and we'll take your Lint away. That goes anyone else we find using your particular version of Lint for that matter.

Kindest regards,
Lynn T. Collecta
SCO, OpenLintSource98(tm) department

Re:Enough already..

[iomud]

It's a very small car.

Re:Enough already..

[Mad Bad Rabbit]

And yes, it is a FULLY FUNCTIONAL WEB SPHERE!

"Don't be too proud of this technological middleware you have created.
The power to deploy a servlet is insignificant, compared to the power
of the Open Source!"

Re:Free SCO..... license

[Znonymous Coward]

Option 3. Take a dump in it, then send it back.

Re:caldera icon

[minard]

how about a variant of the "laugh, it's funny" foot icon, but with a gun pointed at it. That would make more sense....

It's not as Funny as You Might Think

[llywrch]

I just had a look at SCOX's stock on Yahoo. They closed up about 12% from yesterday's close.

I can't help but suspect this increase in price was due to thrillbert's buyout offer.

Geoff

Re:Very informative article, glad to have read it

[Master of Transhuman]

Let me translate that:

Becauzen oft du furshlugginer SCO dumpkof clamens bout der UNIXen codexes, ve hav pummeled dem fer 1.5milliones Deutchsmarks...und orderen dem fer to STFUem...

Re:Enough already..

[Craig Maloney]

I thought the Lint was owned by Navell? :)

No way you're getting away with that...

[Rimbo]

Yeah, well at least we don't have to wait until we get to the last chapter of our novels to get to all the verbs. ;)

Re:Lindows joins the fight

[ron_ivi]

I'm very amused to see that the banner running on top of the ofb.biz article you posted, was an ad by a "SCO Premier Reseller" advertising " SCO Linux WorkStation(TM)" and " SCO Linux Server(TM)" Wierd. http://www.sysintegrators.com/caldera/?source=goog le

How Snakes Die

[Esion Modnar]

I once that if you cut off a snake's head, it won't die until sundown.

It think this is like SCO. Just wait til sundown.