The Sentient Office Is Coming

Roland Piquepaille writes "In this article, the Economist explains that "sentient computing systems are likely to be everywhere within five years -- listening and watching, and ready to anticipate their users' every need." "By adding sensors to today's computing and communications technology, sentient computing seeks to take account of a machine's environment in order to make it more responsive and useful. Sentient computing systems are always on, ubiquitously available, and can adapt to their users. In short, they seek to become real help-mates." ACM TechNews also wrote an analysis of sentient computing: "Challenges to sentient computing include the seamless integration of wireless networks, the spread of sensors throughout products and the environment, the accurate provision of location data, and the ability of sentient systems to merge vast volumes of widely disseminated data and customize its delivery for users. Other problems researchers will have to tackle include scalability, the development of cooperative file systems, and sentient applications' ability to find screens and network devices in close proximity to users." And of course, there are privacy concerns... Check this summary for additional details."

Clippy writes..

[FryGuy1013]

I now see you are attempting to hang yourself because of your crappy life (and I know it's crappy), would you like to:

* Help you write a suicide note
* Email your lawyer to set your main beneficiary to Microsoft
* Fax an order for another red swingline because someone stole it

At Last!

[teamhasnoi]

I'm glad the Sentient Office is coming, since with all my extra hours and no overtime [slashdot.org], I'll soon be downgraded to Inanimate Object!

Coming soon...

[CitizenJohnJohn]

The sentient boss!

Re:Clippy writes..

[gfody]

suicide note [linuxgazette.com]

We already have that.....

[StrifeCX]

It's been around for a while. It's great! get at bonzai-buddy.com [bonzai-buddy.com]

The future

[teamhasnoi]

In the future [weblogs.com], you will have giant wrench-eyes watching your every move. But you won't be moving. See, they've taken your keyboard and mouse away. In the future, you'll sit in a chair. And like it. You'll be watching commercials. That's it. Your sentient office will make sure of that.

Oh, and your boss will be a cell phone. See, he's yelling at you right now.

God, I hope they have drugs in the future.

Sentient Office?

[Gleng]

I'm still waiting for sentient office workers.

Re:For those who don't know...

[Anonymous Coward]

If you had to look it up, then you didn't watch enough Star Trek: Next Generation and as such you have no business at Slashdot. :-)

-Stiles

Only 5 years?

[Anonymous Coward]

Sentient computing systems in 5 years? Sure.
Things we will also have in 5 years:

cheap fusion power
base on the moon
first man on mars
duke nukem forever

Nils

California will be spared

[poptones]

Because the one foe who can defeat SKYNET will be governor by then...

all in a day's work

[martin-boundary]

This morning, I arrived at the office at 9:03. Two hours and 47 minutes later, the stapler became sentient. At 11:51, it attacked the fax machine. At 11:53, my mouse became sentient, and helped the fax machine fend off the stapler's attack. The telephone receiver became sentient at 11:53:17, and decided to attack the defenseless pile of papers to my left. The magic marker I keep next to the pile of blank CDs became sentient at 11:53:28, saw the papers flying about and scribbled obscenities on them. Meanwhile, the fax machine, crippled by the stapler's attacks, started making that shrieking noise. At 11:54:38, my laptop started biting my fingers.

I grabbed my lunch and headed out as fast as I could. It is now 12:45, and I am not sure what I will find when I return to the office, but judging from the terrorised faces of my coworkers, it can't be good.

Mr Clippy

[AvitarX]

Do I get a physical Mr Clippy?

I think I may just kill myself now instead.

Microsoft is leading on this

[Anonymous Coward]

Already my system knows when I need to take a break and forces me to do so by coming to a complete halt, requiring a relaxing reboot.

Occassionally, my system will recognize when a document I am working on is moving in a completely hopeless direction and will shut down the application as I'm working on it, effectively tossing out all of my errant work. Who knew that starting over would be the best course of action? MS Word did!

And sometimes, when I am completely confused and wrong-thinking, I will attempt to play music files or view movies that I have not been authorized to view. Thank Bill that I don't pursue such behaviors, lest I be sued. Instead, this sort of thing is halted immediately.

Once I tried to use outdated software, but was reminded several times to upgrade to the latest Microsoft versions of all of my software, which while costly, was ultimately better for me. There again, my computer is looking out for me.

I'm being told that I should end this post now. I guess I gotta go.

Sentient Lifts ?

[bushboy]

Lift
(Soft muzakky sort of voice) Hello. I am to be your elevator for this trip to the floor of your choice. I have been designed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to take you, the visitor to the Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, into these, their offices. If you enjoy your ride which will be swift and pleasurable then you may care to experience some of the other elevators which have recently been installed in the offices of the Galactic Tax Department, Boobiloo Baby Foods and the Sirian State Mental Hospital, where many ex-Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Executives will be delighted to welcome your visits, sympathy and happy tales of life out in the big wide world.

Zaphod
Yeah? What else to you do besides talk?

Lift
I go up or down.

Zaphod
Good. We're going up.

Lift
Or down.

Zaphod
Yeah, ok, up please.

Lift
Down's very nice.

Zaphod
Oh yeah?

Lift
Super.

Zaphod
Good. Now will you take us up?

Lift
May I ask you if you've considered all the possibilities that down might offer you?

Re:It is inevitable

[Anonymous Coward]

Like this [retecool.com], but on purpose...

"HAL I want to go home!"

[PS-SCUD]

"I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that."

:-)

Re:Clippy the ......? or "Stop trying to help me!"

[Anonymous Coward]

The refrigerator would have noted the travel arrangements and adjusted its plans accordingly.

I don't want my refrigerator watching my travel plans and spying on my every move. I pay the Government to do that.