USS Ronald Reagan Commissioning Tomorrow

wessman writes "Being an employee at Northrop Grumman's Newport News shipyard, I cannot help but be proud to see one of our products commissioned by the U.S. Navy, especially considering how long it takes to build a $5 billion Nimitz-class nuclear-powered aircraft carrier. And I'm sure the other 18,000 workers here feel the same way. The ship is being commissioned Saturday, July 12 at the Norfolk naval base. It is obviously the most technically advanced carrier in the fleet, taking the term "hardware" to new levels. Pick a local story. From the Hampton Roads Daily Press: Anchors Aweigh, Changes Abound Aboard Carrier, Some Wanted CVN-76 Named after Daredevil Flier, 20,000 Expected for Reagan's Rite, USS Constellation Retiring Too Soon?. From the Virginia Pilot: The Carrier Reagan - Ahead of Its Class, Carrier Construction is All in the Family, Former President's Son Michael Reagan Excited about Commissioning."

I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

I wonder who is going to be skipper for the USS Gipper.

One question.

[teamhasnoi]

Does the ship forget where it is?

Gerald Ford

[Jack Comics]

Whew, at least it's not the U.S.S. Gerald Ford, or the U.S. Navy would be in big trouble. I mean, Gerald Ford tumbling while getting out of a helicopter is one thing, but I can only imagine what kind of manuever problems the U.S.S. Gerald Ford would have. It could potentially destroy half a sea port while attempting to dock.

Bah.

[Surak]

It'll just lose all the data stored in its memory systems after every mission. Particularly secret CIA ones.

Makes sense, really

[jvalenzu]

Some of the (few) people who benefited from his destruction of the constitution, the defense industry, have decided to honor him. Expect to see his face on the $1,000,000 dollar bill when they make one so his other pals can have a wallet picture.

Bad Name

[CastrTroy]

Does that make it the U.S.S.R. Regan? :)

Ouch..

[grub]

At $5 billion a pop, I can only imagine what a Beowulf cluster of these would be like..

great...

[painehope]

let me guess, Microsoft designed the onboard software, and it lives up to it's namesake :
the GPS forgets where it is, and the sensory equipment goes to sleep during long meetings.

Re:WTF?

[Aadain2001]

Why are we honoring a man who destroyed America by naming the most expensive carrier ever built after him?

I think it's kind of fitting to name the most expensive carrier ever built after the man who increased our national debt more than all the previous presidents combined.

Re:WTF?

[s20451]

'cause it's much more likely to strike fear into the hearts of America's enemies than the USS Jimmy Carter (motto: Malaise Forever).

Misnamed, I think

[mblase]

The list from "Changes Abound Aboard Carrier [dailypress.com]" includes:

* More space for women
* New island house
* Bulbous bow
* New arresting gear

One can't help but think it should have been named the USS Bill Clinton instead....

Nope

[MAXOMENOS]

It may, however, very well send weapons to Iran.

Re:great...

[hesiod]

> let me guess, Microsoft designed the onboard software,

AAAAAH, so that's why it cost $5 billion.

No ship for Clinton, but....

[jdehnert]

...perhaps they will name a submarine after Monica Lewinski!

Re:Ouch..

[longbottle]

One Word: EXPENSIVE.

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

Maybe the ship will be involved in WWIII, quickly develop Alzheimer's, and not remember a thing.

Re:Control systems

[Shillo]

Nah, this one only uses NT to manage the reactor control rods. :)

--

Re:I wonder

[jhunsake]

I'm sorry, but Ronald Regan was the greatest president, and probably the greatest leader, of all time.

Re:WTF?

[Lord_Slepnir]

I'm in favor of the USS Bill Clinton. Much more fearsome. When enemies see it, they know they're going to go down.... not to mention it will be deploying sea men into the enemy ship afterwards

Re:One question.

[hesiod]

> You have no rhythm.

OMG, you bastard! The rest of the post was fine, but this is UNFORGIVABLE!!!

Seriously, though, the post is so uber-flamebait (like that?) that it surpasses flamebait and moves on to funny.

USS Bill Clinton

[AntiOrganic]

I'm waiting for the USS Bill Clinton, with fully retractable onboard ramming penis.

Re:Simply wrong

[ndogg]

It might sound morbid but they should have waited until he was dead.

Oh, so you're one of those types who think he's still alive?

Re:Misnamed, I think

[greysky]

Features of the USS Clinton:

*All female crewmembers return to port preagnant.
*When conflict breaks out, it makes port in a non-involved country.
*Has a suite of bedrooms for rent at $50,000/night.
*Equiped with a double compliment of distress beacons and emergency signal flares.
*Flight deck lined with astroturf.

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

> Regan

Regan? So great, you can't even spell his name right!

BTW he was a fuckwit president. But not the last, I see.

I'm sure Al-Queda have a little motor boat packed full of explosives called the Hinkley just waiting for it to approach the gulf...

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm sorry, but Ronald Regan was the greatest president, and probably the greatest leader, of all time.

I agree. And thank you for all the weapons and training.

Sincerely,
Osama

Re:I wonder

[Alan Partridge]

he he

you spotted it!

"HMS Quite Easy to Sink with an Exocet" doesn't really have the same ring to it though, does it?

Re:Gerald Ford

[Eslyjah]

The USS Jimmy Carter wouldn't even have weapons on it. It would be used to distribute leaflets with handy fuel-saving tips. Amy Carter would be constantly on hand to give advice to the Admiral.

Re:Not exactly the best naming scheme

[Alan Partridge]

What's wrong with that? Nimrod was reputedly the founder of Babylon and/or the architect of the Tower of Babel.

A lot of RN ships have really dull names like HMS York or some other place name. I rather like things like "HMS Fantastic", "HMS Unstoppable" or even "HMS Comeandavaagoifyouthinkyourehardenuff".

That sort of thing.

Re:Gerald Ford

[hype7]

dammit, why stop there.

USS Bill Clinton gets really close to some of the not-quite-commissioned submarines, and gets them to stick torpedoes in places where torpedoes shouldn't be stuck.

Then there's the USS George W Bush, which comes with faulty radar that is always detecting incoming Weapons of Mass Destruction.

-- james

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Mod parent up!

[kfx]

Unfortunately for the Iranians, the missiles will have used up all their propellant getting there...

Re:more than meets the eye

[bbc22405]

Directed energy weapons! what does that mean? High powered lasers?

Close, very close. Directed energy weapons means of course sharks with friggin' lasers.

For that much...

[Anonymous Coward]

For that much money it should be called the U.S.S. Reagonomics.
Where's my socialized health care again?

Re:Ooh, yeah, you're so brave!

[The Dobber]

True, but I only have so much Karma to give for my country.

"Your Command?"

[Norin Radd]

Carriers take forever to warp in. They should have gone with a couple of Scouts instead.

DAMN RIGHT!

[raehl]

This is Slashdot, we only do MICROSOFT baiting stories here!

USS Millard Fillmore

[spun]

Also known as the USS Know Nothing, is being sent to Liberia to enforce the Fugitive Slave Act.

Or the USS Chester Arthur, which, uh...

Never mind.

He'd prefer a sub named USS Monica Lewinski

[puckhead]

Large, round, goes down.

Re:I wonder

[Anonymous Coward]

With a name like the U.S.S. Ronald Reagan I bet it's going to get lost at see or forget what its role is. Or maybe the U.S.S. John Hinkley will fire on it to impress the U.S.S. Jodie Foster.

Re:My $.02 on this

[cliveholloway]

quoteth:

"The only way to prevent being overrun by bullies is to be strong yourself"

Nice to see you slip in some advice for Iraqi civilians there :)

.02

cLive ;-)

Re:Answers for Hippies

[HarveyBirdman]

You have a point, but you could have got the same benefit to the economy by building a $5 billion gigantic rotating barbie doll.

Yeah, but would terrorists fear a gigantic rotating barbie doll?

You know, come to think of it, they might...

Re:Gerald Ford

[ath0mic]

Unfortunatley aboard the USS Bill Clinton, seamen always seem to go AWOL.