Executive Secretary In Every Computer 320
An anonymous reader writes "BusinessWeek Online just ran an interview with a researcher from Sandia National labs whose team has developed an alternative approach to artificial intelligence. They have come up with a software program that models a computer user's behavior and gives the user advice, corrects his errors or saves files according to the user's own logic. The idea is for computers to learn how to use with users -- instead of vice versa. The software has already been tested with air traffic controllers."
I apparently already have this function.... (Score:5, Funny)
His name is Clippy, and I hate him.
Mike
Air Traffic Controllers (Score:1, Funny)
Sorry, couldn't resist.
Clippy (Score:4, Funny)
"It looks like you're trying to talk to a pilot. Would you like to write a letter to him?"
"It look like you're trying to turn me off. Dave. Don't do that Dave."
tested with ATC? oh crap (Score:5, Funny)
- Yes please.
- No, I do not need help landing planes.
- No, and don't show Crashy again.
Click here for other automated flight controller assistants [microsoft.com].Secretary in my computer? (Score:0, Funny)
"Sorry Dave, we're all out of dark roast."
"HAL, I'm not going to argue with you, I need some coffee!"
think lewinsky (Score:5, Funny)
on a serious note, just having word and excel has replaced many thousands of secretaries already. can anyone out there say that typing is solely a clerical skill like it was 20 years ago?
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:5, Funny)
Why doesn't someone write an agent to predict what the replies will be to a given Slashdot story? It could be done as an elementary school project.
Bad Logic (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft style (Score:4, Funny)
Mr clippy [counterhack.net]
--
Oh CRAP (Score:1, Funny)
We had enough of a headache handling just two executive secretaries(NEVER piss off She Who Presents Things To Be Signed By God). Now we're gonna have 50 of 'em?
On the plus side, this will save a lot of marriages, since The Boss won't have an affair with the computer, get it pregnant, and run off with it to the cayman islands. So maybe it is a good thing...
Computers that learn from the user? (Score:5, Funny)
Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of Clippies? (Score:5, Funny)
It's almost as bad as the polite elevators ("Which floor would you like to go to today") in the HHGTTG.
Software should be like God made it: rude, difficult, and flaky. The users need their daily dosage of pain and whom are we to deny this to them? It's the endorphins, man!
Think of the poor TV writers... (Score:2, Funny)
I need help... (Score:4, Funny)
can someone put that in a "in soviet russia" joke ? I tried but I was too confused.
Re:think lewinsky (Score:4, Funny)
It's not just a clerical skill. My thief has a +17 typing ability...
I can see it now. A typical work day... (Score:4, Funny)
Would you like me to refresh the site 10 times a second to give you a few fr1st p05ts?
09:17 AM -- It looks like you're browsing
Again.
Would you like me to answer your phone and tell everyone that you are in a meeting?
09:45 AM -- It looks like you're browsing
Again.
Would you like me to call your wife and tell her you are working late?
And so on...
Re:Bad Logic (Score:3, Funny)
Yes, but at least it won't be because the power cord isn't plugged in.
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:2, Funny)
And gives "executive stress relief", then ill be impressed.
wonderful :( (Score:5, Funny)
I'll take a swing... (Score:3, Funny)
Not what you were expecting?
going nuclear (Score:4, Funny)
Why did they bother testing it with air traffic controllers when they could have launched it straight onto some low-risk industry, like nuclear power? (Then again maybe we don't want software imitating Homer Simpson's logic.)
It looks like.. (Score:2, Funny)
A. Porn
B. Slashdot
testing vs. implementation (Score:2, Funny)
So they tested this technology with air traffic controllers to determine if it was safe to implement for PHBs. I believe I would have chosen a different test group.
Helpful! (Score:3, Funny)
It looks like you're trying to land an airplane!
Would you like to find out...
Re:think lewinsky (Score:3, Funny)
Sounds like an old joke... (Score:3, Funny)
OK, so this IT company is having its annual retreat somewhere out in the desert, and an engineer and a marketdroid get into an argument about something. They wander off into the desert, and are so into it that they don't realize that they're walking directly into a sandstorm until it's too late. They stumble around blindly, and by the time the sandstorm lets up, they're completely lost.
A few hours later, the sun's directly overhead, vultures are circling, and the two are on their knees, begging God to save them and promising to lead virtuous lives if they could just get something to drink--and *ping*, there's a pitcher of ice-cold beer sitting on a rock. The engineer staggers forward, croaking "We're saved!"
The marketdroid holds him back and strokes his chin, saying "No, wait--the color's all wrong. Tell you what, let me piss in it first to make it look better."
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:4, Funny)
Like in this situation? [kieranhealy.org]
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What are you doing, Dave? (Score:4, Funny)
What happens when the user is a sick, twisted and sadistic person. Will the computer adapt to that kind of user?
If it does, my guess would be that it'd use 'vi' as the default editor for anything.
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:3, Funny)
{printf("
Step 1. Become overlord of Soviet Russia
Step 2. Beowulf cluster
Step 2. ???
Step 3. Economic improvement!\n");}
Re:air traffic controllers? (Score:2, Funny)
No, I didn't RTFA, but the blurb was enough.
Air traffic controllers...
I'm sure glad that every time new software gets developed and people need guinea pigs for testing, they choose
non-critical users
running non-critical applications
on non-critical systems
performing non-critical services.
Re:I apparently already have this function.... (Score:3, Funny)
"Hey, it looks like you're trying to innovate.
Would you like some help?"
Mimics uers? i can see it now (Score:3, Funny)
Dave, I don't have an any key.
Dave, your boss has sent an email, should I make it look like you replied afer normall working hours?
Dave, I noticed several banners and pop-ups, so I click on them for you.
Dave, Based on the web sites you visit, I have ordered you some penis enlargement pills.
Dave, I just made you rich by emails the Minister of Finances widow your bank account.
Dave, Based on your emails, I ordered you a package from Hormel.
Re:Air Traffic Controllers (Score:1, Funny)
It looks like you're about to have a mid-air collision in 15 min. It also looks like your shift is over in 10 min. Based on your previous responses to this situation, would you like to:
( ) Warn the pilots to change course.
( ) Go for coffee and have me remind you in 5 min.
(o) Have me let the new guy deal with this.
Seriously, I have nothing but respect for those brave men and women in ATC. More seriously, new guy: turn your clippy back on!
Re:air traffic controllers? (Score:4, Funny)
Exactly, and this context could be applied to many things. For example, when I download torrents of anime now, I always save them to the same folder which is my holding area for anime I download, which I later move to its correct folder upon viewing. If my computer could sense that I was downloading anime (yet again) and direct it to the proper folder, that would be great. If it could generate a list of what I've viewed completely, what I've partially watched, and what I haven't watched yet, that would be amazing.
Even better, sometimes a series gets moved around in my folder because it has a different file name than others of its kind because it was subbed by a different group. I do not rename the filenames because I like to keep them the same for when I send to others, yet if my computer could figure out that a file was part of a certain group of files even though it had a different filename, that would be a great boon to my productivity.
clippy controlling air traffic? (Score:2, Funny)
It looks like a 747 is about to crash. Would you like to...
Re:tested with ATC? oh crap (Score:1, Funny)
That into looks like a fatal typo.
Killer App? (Score:3, Funny)
Oh, I'd say AI that lands a plane is killer app enough for anyone.
Re:tested with ATC? oh crap (Score:3, Funny)
oh great (Score:3, Funny)
I can just imagine tech support phone calls:
Tech: Ok, now tap Ctrl-Esc to bring up your start menu.
Customer: Oh... I usually don't do that.
Tech: Ok then, just click on it with your mouse.
Customer: My start menu dissappeared because I never click on it.
Tech: Then what DO you do?
Customer: Oh I forget... Apple-Shift-V? Wait... no...
Tech:
Customer: Oh! That! I usually just pound on the left side of my keyboard until it comes up, but I broke it yesterday so I only have the mouse. But I never used my mouse before to do that so moving it just shuts down my computer.
Tech:
Re:I need help... (Score:3, Funny)
It's almost human too! MS should buy them out! (Score:1, Funny)
When I click no, she gives me this sad pouty face and says something like "You don't think I'm worth paying for?...Oh...O.K" Gee...made me feel so guilty.
If MS used CyberSecretary instead of their stupid Clippy...MS Office and Outlook would probably be considered "cool" today.
I'll never use it. (Score:1, Funny)
Just delete the file and stop asking for confirmation!
Yes, I want to overwrite that file!
No, I don't want to register!
No, I am not interested in special offers!
No, I don't want to change my password now!
No, I am not writing a goddamn letter!
Yes, I want to play global thermonuclear warfare!