Martial Arts Robots

curmudgeous writes "Japanese tech firms are making waves with robots trained to perform martial arts moves." On one hand, this is largely just a novelty, but on the other, robots capable of doing these moves are many steps closer to being able to move around in real world environments. But mostly, sumo stomping robots look cool.

I for one...

[omnirealm]

I for one welcome our new kung-fu robotic overlords!

the big W

[syle]

Let me save you the trouble of asking.

The answer is, "Because they can."

Absolutely!

[NerveGas]

robots capable of doing these moves are many steps closer to being able to move around in real world environments.

I absolutely agree. I've said for ages that a robot just can't usefully navigate a house without being able to do a good roundhouse-kick, preferably to a height of 5.5 feet. Even then, without a good iron-palm strike, it's not going to have problems.

steve

Careful with the Ninja Robots

[Doesn't_Comment_Code]

This is the kind of thing you read about after it's too late.

I've seen this in a lot of bad movies. Instead of making nice robots that get your coffee, or make your bed, someone makes a killer robot. But they never intended for it to kill. They just wanted to prove the critics wrong... plus the little fella is cute.

Then they multiply and the world is laid waste. Who hasn't seen that scenario played out?

Seriously, who makes robots that know karate? Oh well, most lessons are learned after its too late.

Re:Uh

[softspokenrevolution]

I know that it really scares the hell out of me, those robots are creepy, and ninjas. Of course the advantage of that is that they can only do so much, I mean that's why there aren't any ninja robots (well good ones) I mean, robocop can beat up ninja robots, if they were real ninjas on the other hand, robocop wouldn't have stood a chance.

I think Ninjas need to unionize to keep robots out of the stealth assassin business.

Re:Uh

[corbettw]

Come on! They're robots! They're ninjas! All they need to do now is turn into fighter planes and it'd be like Saturday morning c. 1986 all over again.

This is the PERFECT /. story

[Anonymous Coward]

I mean you have
Robots
Martial Arts (aka Ninja ;)
OpenSource.

I mean the only thing more perfect would be a story tommorrow on SCO suing a bunch of Martial Arts Robots and the Robots proceding to kick SCO ass.

Wireless Borg Monkeys

[AtariAmarok]

"Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated just like my banana breakfast. Eeep! Eeep!"

ROBOT

[Doomrat]

Elsewhere a conversation with the robot AI has been posted.

Interviewer: Robot, how would you approach the task of displacing a large obstacle?
Robot: ROBOT KICK.
Interviewer: I see, and how about helping an old lady across the road?
Robot: ROBOT KICK.
Interviewer: Tending to a sick puppy?
Interviewer: ROBOT KICK. THEN ROBOT KILL SOME BABIES.
Interviewer: Riiiiiiight.
Robot: I JUST WANT TO BE PRETTY. MONKEY BANANA FIRE.

This is why you don't mix AI and kicking. Duh.

The REAL Ultimate POWER!

[teamhasnoi]

Hi, this site is all about ninjas robots, REAL NINJA ROBOTS. This site is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about ninja robots. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts:

1. Ninja robots are mammals (robot mammals, duh).
2. Ninja robots fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja robot is to flip out and kill people.

Weapons and gear:

Ninja robot Sword
Ninja robot Stars
Ninja robot Outfit and Chrome Polish

Testimonial:

Ninja robots can kill anyone they want! Ninja robots cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These robots are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja robot who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja robot killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja robot totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that ninja robots have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Ninja robots are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninja robots are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninja robots with all of my body (including my pee pee).

Q and A:.

Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninja robots?

A: Ninja robots are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninja robots are very careful and precise.

Q: I heard that ninja robots are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?

A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other robot mammals, ninja robots can be mean OR totally awesome.

Q: What do ninja robots do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?

A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)

Re:I for one...

[Anonymous Coward]

Kung-fu is Chinese, your insensitive clod!

You're now a target for the new Japanese ninja robots. Have a nice day.

fsck you!

[orthogonal]

Hey Slashdot wimps!

Here's your chance to get back at all the bullies who harassed and mocked you!

With a bodyguard that runs linux!

What to do if you happen upon one of these

[Fastball]

If you work in a firearms store, and someone comes in and asks for a phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range, RUN! Don't call the authorities! Don't reason with it! RUN!

Same goes if someone ask you for your clothes, boots, and motorcycle.

wow

[Stalemate]

we're really asking for it now, aren't we?

Training method?

[Torgo's Pizza]

I wonder if the robot makers are using the "Karate Kid" method of training. You know, do menial jobs which then translate to super kung-fu moves.

Mr. Miyagi: Weld the car.

Robot: Weld the car.

Mr. Miyagi: Power sand the deck furniture.

Robot: Power sand the deck furniture.

Mr. Miyagi: For the crane kick, you must become a crane.

Robot: I already AM a crane.

Mr. Miyagi: Then you are ready.

Bodyguards

[grantsellis]

Hey! Bullies! Fear the robot that comes up to your kneecap!

Re: original ULTIMATE power

[reconn]

Not to be anal, just for posterity and to give credit where it's due: the original site [realultimatepower.net].

Re:Uh

[giminy]

I think Ninjas need to unionize to keep robots out of the stealth assassin business.

Shhhhh, are you trying to get us all killed, man? If Ninjas unionized, do you realize what would happen? The union would make demands and we would have no choice to give in to those demands or die in our sleep. They wouldn't just strike, they'd palm-heel strike. That would break your neck, or at least crack your rib cage, sending splinters of bone into your heart. Don't give them ideas.

And if Ninja Robots come, just don't let them settle in the Tigris Euphrates valley. So long as we hold true to that, we'll all be fine.