Ideas Unlimited: 11 Suggestions for New Inventions

securitas writes "The New York Times asked 11 prominent people to write about a device that they'd like to see invented (Google). Contributors include John Perry Barlow, Scott Adams, William Gibson and Bill Joy, among others. There are some intriguing ideas and some that are way out there, but lots of fun for geeks everywhere."

Nice Idea But...

[JamesSharman]

This would have been a really cool article a few years ago, you know, back when to patent something you needed to actually build it and show it to the patent office.

In the current climate this article is completely redundant, if it can be conceived of it has not only been patented but there are defensive patents surrounding it's use, offensive patents surrounding it's use while painted a different colour and more than likely several publicly traded companies bidding on the future rights to sell a cut down version for kids.

The product itself will never be developed however because there are 3 studies proving it causes cancer and several court cases that are claiming that the concept artwork was inspiration for some violent outburst.

Please note, I have not even suggested the possibility that you might have to pay SCO for using it. Wait a minute. Damit!

My favourite

[Anonymous Coward]

An honest-to-goodness cluebat for the manager that Just Doesn't Get It[tm].

Things that people want to see invented ?

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

The New York Times asked 11 prominent people to write about a device that they'd like to see invented

Hmm, if they can think of something to invent, didn't they just invented it? I thought an invention was essentially something new that nobody thought about before (and no, it's not the same as something that's patented : you can patent something everybody wants).

Here's the invention I'm working on : a machine with a dictionary of technical words, verbs and old english expressions, that spits out random descriptions and diagrams, staples everything together, puts it in an envelope, stick a stamp on it and sends it to the USPTO automatically. It then sits on google, waits for pages with a lot of similar words, and automatically dials my attorney's number when it finds one. I expect to reap great profits from such a machine.

"Solve my problem"

[el_frostie]

I always dreamed of the "solvemyproblem" program:

Just one big button saying "Solve My Problem", press it and voila....

No more phonecalls, no customers, no deadlines and ofcourse it autoinstalls gimmemoney 1.0 at the same time. :-)

Trump's onto something

[mblase]

Donald J. Trump... I would like a computer chip that I could attach to the brains of all my contractors so that they would know exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it, and at what price I wanted it. This would save me a lot of time and a lot of yelling.

Heck with contractors, I'd attach those chips to my wife and kids. For pretty much the same reasons. (Admit it, Donald, you'd do the same.)

My Favorite

[geeber]

Margret Cho says, "The computer should be powered by solar energy, which could be from any source, not only the sun, so that even the illumination of the screen could keep it going."

Holy Crap! Patent that before someone else does!

Re:"Solve my problem"

[gfxguy]

Our systems programming teacher described the MRC 99 command in the 8088 instruction set. He had us all going right up until he explained what it did - makes any program work the way you want it to.

It's better known as the "Miracle 99" command.

NYT?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not Yet, Thanks.

Re:My Favorite

[Turing Machine]

Okay, I'll take one for the team and make the obligatory Simpsons reference.

"Margaret, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics."

Mod Idea

[jabbadabbadoo]

I want a device that gives me a hug when someone mods me up.

Re:Cat locator

[pdhenry]

Finding the cat is one thing. Determining whether it is alive or dead has been proven to be impossible.

#12

[grub]

GAWS: The Goatse.cx Advanced Warning System

A heuristic neural network which would flash large warnings on a computer screen when an obfuscated link would lead the user to goatse.cx.

Margaret Cho?

[DoorFrame]

Margaret Cho is not prominent.

Why do you need a cat locator?

[Fratz]

Doesn't everyone just velcro them to the wall above the litter box?

Why is everyone backing away from me?!

whynot.net slashdotted

[tinpan]

Note to self:

When whynot.net is available again, post to whynot.net asking for a pre-emptive solution to being slashdotted.

Re:No room for that when Cho and Moby are predicti

[Otter]

My favorite was Cho's idea:

The computer should be powered by solar energy, which could be from any source, not only the sun, so that even the illumination of the screen could keep it going.

Err, yeah. It's bad news when the best idea out of your panel of 11 geniuses comes from Cris Collinsworth. Imagine if Terry Bradshaw or John Madden had been included!

-1, Overrated

[Anonymous Coward]

*punch*

Ford Prefect Would Be Proud

[Myriad]

A flash/thumb drive that can store 4.2 gigs.

Let me get this straight... you want an electric thumb that happens to hold 4.2?

I think Ford and Zaphod would be proud!

Blockwars [blockwars.com]: multiplayer and free!

Three words: Milla Jovovich fembot.

[crazyphilman]

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I want a robotic nymphomaniac. I want her to look like Milla Jovovich. I want her to talk like a New Yorker. I want her to curse like a truck driver. And, I want her to have an aggressive "bodyguard mode" in which she goes absolutely POSTAL if anyone messes with her or me. Her signature move would be grabbing an enemy by the ankles, swinging him around in a hyperkinetic hammer throw, and going for distance! "Wow, honey, I think you cleared a hundred meters with that one, he almost made it to the river. You would have had much better distance if he hadn't have hit that billboard..."

A great invention would be....

[cvd6262]

A use for the Segway [segway.com].

Re:five tools for aborigines?

[frank_adrian314159]

anyone got a cite on what the five tools are?

I don't know, but I hope the one who invented the didjeridu got beaten to death with it...

Re:My Favorite

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

Nah, just learn to be very convincing and let some random guy push your car towards your destination.
That wouldn't be too hard. Just tell the guy someone doesn't think he could push your car all the way to your office.
Damn, I just invented the Ego-powered car.

Re:No room for that when Cho and Moby are predicti

[default luser]

Yeah, I think I came up with this brilliant idea in 6th grade, something to do with an electric car that used a generator to continuously regenerate power. After we started discusing physics in Junior High, I felt really stupid having ever conceived of the above, because once it was mentioned to me, conservation of energy made perfect sense.

Now I don't feel so stupid, because I have living proof that people can graduate high school and STILL not understand the simple concept of conservation of energy.

Re:Nice Idea But...

[Anonymous Coward]

the real question is can you patent the process of getting a copyright/patent and sueing someone. then you'd have a mountain of cash in no time.

Re:"Solve my problem"

[sciencewhiz]

I already wrote 'why' for windows.

#include

void main(void)
{
printf("because windows sucks\n");
}