NYC Crosswalk Buttons are Inoperative

cdneng2 writes "NY Times has an article that New York crosswalk push buttons are actually ineffective. Apparently, New York City deactivated most of the pedestrian buttons long ago with the emergence of computer-controlled traffic signals. From the article, 'More than 2,500 of the 3,250 walk buttons that still exist function essentially as mechanical placebos, city figures show.' Well, apparently New York city isn't the only city like this. I guess the answer lies in the same reason why people press the elevator button more than once."

Umm...

[Luigi30]

Isn't that a little obvious? I mean, do ANY of those buttons work anymore?

Just like my gf

[Shard013]

The buttons don't work

They're not doing it right!

[General Sherman]

Everybody knows the more times you push it, the faster it goes. Geez.

Heh.

[Denyer]

It's like Ctrl-Alt-Delete for the general public! ;)

What a suprise

[Piethon]

This has to be a lie, the government would never waste our money and mislead us!

Televatorkinesis

[Penguinshit]

...is the belief that pressing the call button multiple times makes the elevator move faster.

I know it, and I still do it sometimes. Perhaps it's because I just like pushing buttons... like this button right he NO CARRIER

why did the chicken cross the road?

[stroustrup]

The answer is here finally!! Because the button doesn't work

In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

The Slashdot "Submit Story" button is also just a placebo. "We just post what we want, and we put some user's name on them, " says Malda.

Facade

[stateofmind]

My entire life has been a lie!

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[gnu-generation-one]

In England, we have these gutless pedestrian crossings which are too scared to stop traffic if they detect cars approaching, so they wait until there's no traffic around and only then activate the pedestrian sequence.

Well gee thanks, I could've figured out myself that I can get across when there's no cars around...

Even better are the ones with a sensor to see if a pedestrian is waiting. So not only do they pander to any approaching car, but they require the pedestrian to be standing in a particular place otherwise they don't operate at all. Very useful.

So if anyone is reading this story and doesn't have a clue what it means because traffic-light stuff is all greek to you... Bedford city council has jobs waiting for you. Join the ranks of the clueless.

Magic

[proverbialcow]

Funny, then, that I was just reading this article on a placebo switch that inexplicably worked!

http://catb.org/~esr/jargon/html/magic-story.html [catb.org]

Re:Just like my gf

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

Have you tried plugging her in first?

If that doesn't work, RTFM. You did get a manual, right?

Hmm... a better "Sex and the City" ending

[mao che minh]

Carrie, glancing back over her shoulder at Mr. Big, smiling to herself in complete satisfaction, presses the button and strides out into the busy NY street.

Carrie: "Life... I started thinking about Paris, and how love AAHGHHHRGHH!!!"

-- taxi cab grinds Carrie into the asphalt, and the credits begin to roll ---

Yes, my girl friend made me watch that damn show for an entire year. The demise of that vile, high-priced sitcom has filled me with a joy not felt since childhood.

Re:Just like the Tube

[Jon Chatow]

No, they do have a point - the clueless push them, and those of us who have worked this out can share a knowing smirk. Highlights the day's commute, for me... ;-)

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[wizbit]

sorry, did I just see the words "New York City" and "professional drivers" in the same sentence?

Ha! Proven correct after all these years

[Anonymous Coward]

I was once in a rather rocky relationship with a girl which ended when I told her not to bother pressing the button.

"It doesn't do anything, these juntions are automated."

"That is exactly the kind of cynical attitude I'm absolutely fed up with. You have no faith in anything."

She stomped off across the road like an enraged frogger, dodging the still flowing traffic.

Re:Umm...

[ScottGant]

I don't believe that any of those buttons work.

I also belive that at the gas station, Regular, Plus and Premium Unleaded all go to the same tank underground.

Coke and Pepsi are all made at the same factory, with a little more sugar going into Pepsi.

I also think my dog is trying to control my brain, the way he looks at me I can just tell he wishes to destroy me...

Re:Just like my gf

[xkenny13]

Sure they do, you just need to use the ol' "three finger salute" ... know what I mean?

A Story

[Crusty Oldman]

A guy I know was in charge of a medium-sized office. He was forever plagued by the women asking him to turn the thermostat up during the winter (the guys saying "turn it down, we're dying in here"). When the office was remodeled, he had a new thermostat installed in a closet, and had the old one unconnected. He put the biggest complainer "in charge" of that thermostat, and never had a problem since. True story.

I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS

[Anonymous Coward]

Finally the truth is out there. Now on to the big one... Area 51. Thanks folks.

I love old time mechanical crosswalk setups

[MajorDick]

There was in town, until just a few years ago a fairly busy intersection that had a crosswalk and a very old button setup, it would when pressed within 5 or so seconds change the light, and would continue to as long as it was pressed, when we were kid we used to hold traffic up just for the fun of it, but at other times, you could time cars, press the button and watch them schreech to a halt.

We knew it all along ...

[gordguide]

That either traffic engineers are mismanaging traffic, or city councils can be talked into anything, or reporters are morons.

From the San Mateo article linked in the story:
" ... "The city should also consider looking in audio crossing signals for the hearing impaired ..." Victor said. ..."

What's next? Traffic lights for the blind?

Re:Just like elevators...

[michaelhood]

I digress. The close door button always works for me to prevent the fat woman in accounting from getting on the elevator with me.

Sounds familiar

[Anonymous Coward]

Kind of like the United States voting system. Hell the entire interface between the people and the government. Corporations are the only entities that have access to the real buttons.

or...

[uptownguy]

It's like Ctrl-Alt-Delete for the general public! ;)

...or voting...?

Re:Just like the Tube

[AndroidCat]

That's why they also have those signs. "Mind: The Gap".

Re:Like Boston?

[cpt kangarooski]

Well, the common practice in Boston is for people to cross when they feel like it and to drive when they feel like it.

So basically, unless traffic stops for some reason, people will cross at a break in traffic or when there are enough people to significantly outnumber the cars, forcing them to slow down. Likewise, cars will begin to go once most people have crossed.

It's not so much a matter of regulation as it is that the drivers in Boston are really very good, and are willing to drive to the limits of their abilities.

Scares the shit out everyone else though.

Re:Just like my gf

[notque]

Are you sure it isn't user error?

Did you know it's an offence in the UK?

[Moderation abuser]

To press the pedestrian buttons as you walk past...







... I can't help it!

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[The Tyro]

sorry, did I just see the words "New York City" and "professional drivers" in the same sentence?

Yeah... I think I also saw "cabs" in that same sentence, along with "not as many accidents are going to happen"...

I'm sorry... I don't know what to say...

Re:Hmm... a better "Sex and the City" ending

[noewun]

About five years ago I almost ran over Sarah Jessica Parker at Fifth Avenue and 23rd Street. I was coming down Fifth on my bike, moving quickly, taking the right onto 23rd. I looked around the turn and saw it was clear. I checked my left, which was clear, and then look right again to see a mass of blonde curls and boobs running in front me of. She realized I was there - I guess she hadn't checked before she crossed - and sped up. I leaned right and missed her by an inch or two.

I consider it one of the greatest missed opportunities of my life.

Re:Umm...

[Anonymous Coward]

> I also think my dog is trying to control my
> brain, the way he looks at me I can just tell he
> wishes to destroy me...

You're a cat, aren't you? Only a cat could be so paranoid and not be the head of Microsoft.

Re:Umm...

[notque]

Isn't that a little obvious? I mean, do ANY of those buttons work anymore?

Of course they work, just press it a few more times....

make them do something

[t_allardyce]

So let me get this straight, there is a collection of buttons around New York city that are not connected to anything, and are waiting for some enterprising geek to hack into something useful... What are we waiting for??

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[darkmeridian]

"cab drivers can occasionally be reckless due to long hours worked"?

Are you from New York? Cab drivers in this city are *always* reckless and it *isn't* because of the long hours worked.

Vindication!

[LiberalApplication]

See now, there is an unnecessary association between rational thought/analysis and paranoia/cynicism. I've been telling my peers for years that there's no way that those silly little buttons could be functional in an urban (NYC, at that) setting, and that if anything, there have got to be more advanced systems manipulating those blinky lights.

What did I get? Years of mockery and ridicule. Well HA! SEE? I'M NOT PARANOID!!! ALL OF YOU, YOU ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS PARANOID BUT I'M NOT!!! YOU THINK I'M CRAZY DON'T YOU? ANSWER ME DAMM...

...but jokes aside, I just want to say, "I told you so"

It figures

[Kohath]

The buttons on the deer xing signs in Wisconsin are like that too.

Re:They're not doing it right!

[ReidMaynard]

I had worker-bee programmer friend (geez, way back in 1986) who had the deadly combination Karate-hard fingers and a real hatred of comuter keyboards. Sixty days was about the longest they lasted with him; I remember more than once seeing a key launch across the office out of the corner of my eye.

And in Paris...

[Kinniken]

In England, we have these gutless pedestrian crossings which are too scared to stop traffic if they detect cars approaching, so they wait until there's no traffic around and only then activate the pedestrian sequence.

Cowardly brits!
In Paris, many pedestrians seems to think it's shameful to cross if there are not cars coming from both directions, the faster the better! :p

Ellen Degeneres on elevators

[Atario]

"We always do this: we walk up to an elevator, someone's already there, they're waiting, they've pushed the button, the button is lit. We walk up and push the button, thinking, 'Obviously you didn't push it correctly. I'll have to push it myself. NOW the elevator will come.' Then someone else walks up and they push the button again. Suddenly you're offended. You want to say, 'You idiot, I pushed it, he pushed it.' Then to the original pusher, 'Can you believe people?'"

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[l810c]

My first semester at college I lived in a dorm right next to a busy/dangerous intersection.

The dorm was shaped like a U that pointed at the intersection heightening the noise. Several times a day you would hear loud screeching as people locked up their brakes. Always just the screeching. About 3 weeks into the semester, there was another loud screech, this time followed by a loud CRASH. Simultaneously, 50 people stuck their heads out their windows and cheered. It was hilarious.

Re:They're not doing it right!

[bmsleight]

I am Traffic Signal Engineer in the UK. I know that pressing the button, more than once has no effect on the latched input to the traffic Signal Controller. All the Traffic Signal Engineers I know, including myself, still press the push button two or three times - Human nature.

Re:Just like my gf

[nEoN nOoDlE]

Just like my gf, The buttons don't work

Have you made sure the power cord is plugged in?

Dumb chirping signals

[rock_climbing_guy]

I heard this funny story about those dumb chirping signals. Here it is:

A friend from Vermont came to visit last week. When he heard the signal chirping, he asked me what it was for. I expained that the signal chirps so that blind people will know when the signal changes. He said, "Wow, that's awfully odd. In Vermont, we don't let blind people drive!"

Re:Hmm... a better "Sex and the City" ending

[dandelion_wine]

I consider it one of the greatest missed opportunities of my life.

Ok, that's understandable, but still no reason to haul the wife and kids out every evening in the Caravan looking for her.

Re:Just like my gf

[Mad_Rain]

That's strange, my GeForce doesn't have any buttons on it...

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[Anonymous Coward]

Even better are the ones with a sensor to see if a pedestrian is waiting.

Let me guess, those sensors are placed beside and slightly forward of water-filled potholes that are in the exact path of the passing cars' tires.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[Doc Ruby]

New York City is the Capitol of professionals - from the lowest bum to the mayor's mom, everybody's working a scam as our lives depend on it. And our drivers are the best in the world: just get out of our way, tourist.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[Anonymous Coward]

Wow. Simply incredible. You sir are living a life full of adventure and memories. Be sure to tell the grandkids.

Don't Panic buttons

[Doc Ruby]

The truth can finally be told: those buttons aren't for speeding up a light change, they're for slowing down tourists. Otherwise, we'd need zambonies cruising the avenues, scraping midwestern roadkill out of the way of productive citizens. Everyone knows that in NYC you don't change things with a pushbutton - you argue at the top of your lungs, or throw money around to confuse the opposition. Now you know why your wallet is missing after a midtown sightseeing walk: the pickpockets get their cut while you gawk upwards at the skyscrapers, as you lean on the buttons waiting for the light to change. Think of it as a toll.

If you can't jaywalk like an Olympian, stay out of the street. Take a nice cab, and remember to tip at least 20% for the man who's saving your life with every lane change. Now go home where it's safe.

Re:Just like my gf

[wankledot]

No, I'm absolutely sure he doesn't know.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[Troed]

When the traffic lights turn green, the crosswalks get a walk sign.

Sounds dangerous.

someone who gets paid

[Anonymous Coward]

So that means George Bush is a Professional President?

Re:In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

Damn right. The number of stories attributed to Anonymous Coward is far greater than the number I've actually submitted.

I think they do the same thing with comments too.

Re:Explanation

[gnu-generation-one]

"Seriously, these things ["look left" signs in London]are very useful when everyone is driving on the wrong side of the road."

So why don't they have them in countries where people drive on the wrong side of the road?

Tulsa Rocks

[qwertyatwork]

5. Tulsa, Okla. 51st Street and Memorial Drive 2000
6. Tulsa, Okla. 71st Street and Memorial Drive 1995

WOOHOO in your face NYC! Um, wait. I dont think this is something to brag about.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[mattkime]

...and therefore my disappointment with hookers :(

Double-clicking elevator buttons

[svindler]

You mean I don't need to double-click the elevator button???

I hate inconsistent user interfaces between different devices!

Re:Hmm... a better "Sex and the City" ending

[shadowbearer]

The opportunity to get sued by someone who could probably buy your entire life out of her lawyer's pocket change?

Or the opportunity to check her for broken bones after the impact?

^_^

SB

Re:And in Paris...

[delphi125]

In Paris, many pedestrians seems to think it's shameful to cross if there are not cars coming from both directions

So the Frogs play Frogger?

Re:No...

[cellocgw]

Hmmm... and here I thought an amateur was someone who used her own home video camera in her bedroom instead of a corporate filming studio. :-)

temper temper

[The Tyro]

You're a dipshit

Stop it before I burst into tears.

Ironically, if you weren't in such a hurry to post that snarky reply, you might have noticed the entire definition that I posted... It's the identical link you are referencing.

Go home kid... come back when you can argue without sounding like a preschooler.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[shadowbearer]

Heh.
Where I lived, deer were far more common. But there were moose, too, and they were, if anything, dumber than the deer...at least the deer would usually run when you laid on the horn, but the moose would just stand there and look at you Make my day, puny tractor-trailer *ssscccrreeeeeeccchh* and you can see the look in the Moose's eyes Heheheheheh. Top of the food chain, sssnnnoooorrt

SB

No actually

[rune2]

The URL in the story is the placebo since no one actually RTFAs anyway...

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[devilspgd]

The same is true in Canada and (as I understand it) the US.

Go ahead and try it in NYC though, you'll only do it once, from then on whoever pushes your wheelchair for you will wait until the light changes.

Re:Explanation

[gnu-generation-one]

"If you think that the American government cares about the safety of foreign nationals, then you clearly haven't been paying attention to the news lately."

I'm not planning to visit America. To be honest, I'd feel safer in North Korea.

Some intersections don't have those buttons...

[WebMasterJoe]

On Queens Boulevard there are some better signs [joestoner.com].

Re:Ha! Proven correct after all these years

[Phroggy]

She stomped off across the road like an enraged frogger, dodging the still flowing traffic.

That's the nerdiest simile I've seen in awhile. ;-)

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[AKnightCowboy]

They're also at OSU...but that's reasonable.

Cleveland State has these as well, except they're not marked. Basically when you don't see a car coming, you start walking across the street anywhere you want whether the light is green or red. At least, 90% of the students seem to think that's the proper way to cross the street.

Inspired traffic design from San Bruno...

[Croaker]

From the "other" article about San Bruno mentioned in the posting:

The city should also consider looking in audio crossing signals for the hearing impaired and signs that count down the number of seconds left to cross, Victor said.

Ah, so in addition to buttons that don't work, we'll give the deaf audio signals they can't hear. Brilliant.

Re:Most Dangerous Intersections

[tuxedobob]

I'm not sure I want to know how you went through two pairs of underwear in one car ride...