An Ominous Cow Erred writes
"A common argument used by open source advocates (myself included) in favor of open source is the simple question: 'Would you buy a car with the hood welded shut?' According to an article from the BBC, Volvo thinks the way of the future may be exactly that."
It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
yup (Score:5, Funny)
The Apple iCar (Score:4, Funny)
When my iCar is low on oil, I park it in a city lot, scratch off the VIN, remove the license plate, and walk away. Then it is off to Apple to buy another one.
Nice Quote! (Score:5, Funny)
The car should be programmed to discover any problems under the bonnet, then send a message to the garage to let them know.
The mechanics would then contact the women directly to invite them over.
Is it me, or do I have a dirty mind this afternoon? ;)
ummm what happens if the engine is on fire? (Score:5, Funny)
"I'm sorry mr. firefighter, only a certified volvo firefighter is allowed to put out this fire"
Re:Argh. (Score:3, Funny)
Bumper Stickers (Score:2, Funny)
I did some very rudimentary artwork for two LWE2002 bumper stickers, one of which carries this slogan. "Would you buy a car with the hood welded shut?" (Tagline 'If your software doesn't include the source code, switch.') There were press articles mentioning these stickers.
This is just a Volvo concept car, with other ridiculously sexist language in the press releases, and features that will never find a production car. It sounded straight from a Heinlein book, with mixed up mysogyny and girl-worship all wrapped together.
However, if you ever DO see one of these cars, I'd love a photograph of it sporting my Linux sticker. I'll have to make one which says, "My OTHER car's hood isn't welded shut!"
Ditch car if battery goes dead (Score:1, Funny)
I agree with you totally. Once the battery dies, it is time to get rid of the car. Anything is better than going to Sears and getting a new "Die Hard". Those Sears guys are so icky.
Business Venture! (Score:4, Funny)
Next up... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:computers + internal combustion engines = stupi (Score:5, Funny)
Then you need a fire engine.
Re:just my opinion (Score:5, Funny)
Rioting, Ravaging and iRResposibility! (Score:5, Funny)
Geez, I was looking for Kent Brockman's byline at the top of that.
Re:Argh. (Score:1, Funny)
This does not bode well for us geeks who use the "may I look under your hood" pick up line
Re:Nice Quote! (Score:3, Funny)
Dear Mrs Svensson,
Please come over to the Orebro garage - I need to tweak your flange.
Lars.
Sounds a little open to abuse (Score:2, Funny)
and this...
The car should be programmed to discover any problems under the bonnet, then send a message to the garage to let them know.
Sound great for people who are too rich to have to learn something about their car, like where the brake fluid goes. I give this one 2 thumbs down, and if my neighbour got one, well... it would be a laugh
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:-1, Funny)
But why should you lift the hood to fill the window washer? Seems pretty stupid - it's not like its got anything to do with the engine.
I managed to fill the break fluid jigger with water last time I opened the hood. Car still stops, I don't know why anyone would pay for break fluid when it comes out of taps for free.
john.e.boy
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
And yes I know there would be some safety device to prevent this and I know there would be no ignition mechanism. Maybe I have been watching Zoolander too much. Besides - you know some guy is going to have to do it. ;)
Re:Mechanics? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
What the hell are you, some kind of Canadian? Petrol? Petrol Entry Point? BONNET!?!
Get me mah shootin' stick maw.....
It's GAS which goes in the GAS TANK which sure as hell isn't under the HOOD of the car!
Next thing you know, you'll be telling me you use a "Gay-raj" instead of a "car hole"?
Re:computers + internal combustion engines = stupi (Score:5, Funny)
I know! These things are WAY too susceptible to the side effects of a nuclear blast! That's why I drive 100% mechanical vehicles from the mid seventies or earlier. The rest of you ninnies are going to look really dumb when the next EMP comes around! HA! HA HA HA!
The union of cars and computers (Score:3, Funny)
The MyDoom worm: immediately crashes car into brick wall once you go over 55 mph.
Popup ads in the windshield are an ever-growing visibility problem until you download the Google dashboard which includes a windshield wiper that removes them.
Cops pull you over for overclocking
The same grease-stained mechanic who works on your Apple car also works on your nice white iPod, leaving permanent smudges on the case.
Hayes Accura modem sues Honda Acura car
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:By women, for women? (Score:1, Funny)
Irony thrives everywhere.
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Mechanics? (Score:4, Funny)
"Hey, Bob, can you do me a favor while I'm filling out this paperwork and take the bonnet off that car so we can do the oil change."
"The What?"
"The bonnet."
"You mean the welded hood?"
"It's called a bonnet."
"Whatever. Sissy boy."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. I'm just working on that BONNET for you. Let me know if you want me to fill up your panties as well."
Re:HONDAS dont break (Score:1, Funny)
They don't have breaks? You just keep driving until you hit a tree?
Re:just my opinion (Score:3, Funny)
Of course, turn signal lenses run $100.
Re:ummm what happens if the engine is on fire? (Score:3, Funny)
Time to be a Volvo mechanic (cha-ching!) (Score:5, Funny)
Tow Truck Driver: Welp, it seems you've done busted a fan belt.
YCCC: Golly! Can you fix it? I mean, I'm stuck out here in the rain in the middle of nowhere.
TTD: No problem, little lady. Fan belts aint't no real trick. Happens all the time.
YCCC: Will it cost very much? I mean, I just spent all my money on this groovy car built by women, for women.
TTD: The fan belt will cost you about twelve bucks, but the installtion will be about twelve-hundred.
YCCC: WTF!?
TTD: Welp, you see we gotta tow this honey to a Volvo dealer, and they have to take the front end apart to install the fan belt. Shouldn't take more than a couple of days.
YCCC: (crying) But, its so easy to refill the washer fluid...
Give me a freakin break...
Re:ummm what happens if the engine is on fire? (Score:2, Funny)
What happens when the engine overheats or you get in an accident and the engine is on fire?
"I'm sorry mr. firefighter, only a certified volvo firefighter is allowed to put out this fire"
It's obvious really. This car was designed for aesthetics before functionality by the same beings that damage their feet by cramming them into triangle shaped shoes with high heels because "they look cute!"
The funniest thing is (Score:4, Funny)
"a mood encouraged by women-friendly Volvo boss Hans-Olov Olsson."
Hmmmm... that's a curious statement open to misinterpretation. Now what'd they mean by that, eh?... exactly how "women-friendly" is he? wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more... (sorry... BBC article... had to throw that in...)
Re:Mechanics? (Score:5, Funny)
My mechanic would never lie to me! He always charges me a fair price for my weekly fill-up of "blinker fluid".
I hope you don't let him use just any old blinker fluid when you can get KaleCo High Quality Synthetic Blinker Fluid [kalecoauto.com] for just $5.99. Help save wear and tear on your flash-synchros while saving our petroleum reserves at the same time.
UNIX-ish (Score:4, Funny)
"If the car says nothing, then everything is fine," said Ms Temm optimistically.
Cool. This is really a good idea from a user interface point of view, and one which makes the UNIX shell so nice to work with. If you get no response from the shell command, it means that things went just fine.
Speaking of welded-shut motor hoods... you know, I'd hate to cruise down the highway and see the warning message on the panel: "You have shifted into fifth gear. The change will take effect after you have restarted the motor. Restart now? [Yes] [No]"...
--Bud
Volvo/Vulva (Score:1, Funny)
Re:computers + internal combustion engines = stupi (Score:2, Funny)
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
I was in dismay as I read this. Basically you can change anything cosmetic but you can't change anything substanttive. I wracked my brain to think up any other product that's gone this route and finally found one: Windows.
You can chage the wallpaper, but you can't change the web browser. You can change the system font, but you can't upgrade the kernel.
I tried to think of what this all means and then it suddenly struck me. Of course, it's right in the aritcle! Windows was designed by women for women.
Now that I understand the Windows niche I can take real action in my life. The girlfriend will get my old Windows machine ("honey, what did you do with my Mac?") and I'm getting the real OS designed by men for men. It may look like crap, but I know I can change any file with complete confidence. Thank god for MS-DOS, the real-mans operating system.
TW
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
Dukes of Hazard (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Audi A2 (Score:1, Funny)
Since it is an Audi, you WILL be taking it to the garage. Very often.
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:computers + internal combustion engines = stupi (Score:3, Funny)
Re:just my opinion (Score:3, Funny)
Heck, that reminds of back in them good ol' earl-ee nine tees when I could get a soldering iron into the ol' PC if she needed a fixin' !
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, i get the feeling that windows wasn't designed at all. More like crashing a Yugo into a parts truck, imo.
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:3, Funny)
You Silly Little Women... (Score:2, Funny)
/me pulls string on the back of Automobile Barbie...
>zip<
"Cars are haaaaard. ::tee hee::"
>zip<
"My seats match my outfit!"
>zip<
"Can you check my oil with your dipstick, Mr. Mechanic?"
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No seriously, it *is* a car for women - RTA (Score:1, Funny)
It is uncomfortable to drive with a pony tail, an I am 100 percent bloke....
... and if you disagree with that Ill slap you. Oh shit... I broke a nail.
Bah! I got something better welded shut (Score:2, Funny)
Them Duke boys got themselves in a heap a' trouble again.
Petrol on the windscreen (Score:2, Funny)
And we won't even go into the implications of filling your petrol tank with nice soapy water . .
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, I remember riding in one of your limos. You could DEFINITELY have benefitted from changeable seat covers in that thing.
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:4, Funny)
You don't think I wasted the *good* ones on you, did you?
(Seriously, removable and washable seat covers are a great things to have, but I bet Volvo would charge way too much for them.)
- Robin
Re:Maybe it's different in England (Score:5, Funny)
English roads are generally designed with steering-wheels in mind.
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Maybe it's different in England (Score:2, Funny)
Trunk vs. Boot? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:It's a car for women! (Score:2, Funny)