Automobiles Evolve to Live Up to Their Name

MauriceV sent in a story about the trend toward the completely self-driving car.

NYT

[MC68040]

Someone forgot to put up the "warning: NYT (free reg. req. bla bla bla)" thingy. Now I wasted 4 secs on a registration dialog hehehe =).

Uh oh!

[BenSpinSpace]

I can just see it now. People will start hacking into cars' computer systems... you'll start seeing random crashes, or cars doing 360s constantly. Or driving off cliffs. Not to mention that the market for off-road vehicles will either boom or bust if self-driving cars become a standard.

Though I imagine that most of America will hate the cars anyway. How will people possibly deal with their road rage?! (And don't tell me that people won't have road rage if cars are self-driving. Don't you ever get the urge to just ram old ladies off the road just because?)

adfasdf

[g-to-the-o-to-the-g]

I don't care who is driving, I just want the other 500 million cars on the road to NOT try to drive home when I have to.

hahahaha

[TedCheshireAcad]

IN SOVIET RUSSIA...

no...nevermind. too easy.

Re:Uh oh!

[Alphanos]

Don't you ever get the urge to just ram old ladies off the road just because?

No. However, this makes available several common jokes:):

-In Soviet Russia, old ladies ram you off the road!

-I am an old lady, you insensitive clod!

etc.

Short article

[DarkHelmet]

What the hell is this?

This is supposed to be slashdot! There's supposed to be some sort of description of the project on the front page.

More importantly, there's supposed to be some sort of biased opinion along with the story. Stuff like:

DarkHelmet writes That asshole Darl McBride is saying that linux is a bastardization of unix. You can see what he's saying here [insert link]. When will he stop? Is he hellbent on taking over the world? I think so. You should too"...

Come on! Us slashdotters want to be TOLD what to think, not make opinions for ourselves... Bastard...

</sarcasm>

Can they drive themselves through Iraq?

[MillionthMonkey]

This would be really convenient. A bonus would be if they still worked after being lit on fire!

In a perfect world they could park themselves underground in an automatic parking garage. [slashdot.org] Although this would require a hole in the ground large enough to fit a Humvee into, which might not be possible with today's technology. Maybe we can set one up once we have a working space elevator.

lawyers

[moviepig.com]

From the article - Like, what will lawyers do if self-driving cars get in accidents?

Your car will eventually become an internet device (like everything else). Then, ad-push technology will sense your next collision, and with lightning speed emblazon the logo of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe across the airbag rushing toward your face.

Re:Is it legal to let the car drive if you're drun

[Ieshan]

If you read the story, you have to take a breathalyzer test before you get in, fingerprint yourself, take a urine sample, submit DNA, and answer a Terrorism survey.

If you fail, it drives you to the Ashcroft. //made that up.

Cars too safety conscious?

[wornst]

Obligatory Joke: "That means microprocessors can take control of the most basic driving functions, like steering and braking. "I detect with my "seat scale" that you are overweight and are steering the car to a McDonalds drive-thru. This I cannot allow. Think of your heart."

Re:Uh oh!

[cybermace5]

Ok, so YOU'RE the one who blows by at 85 on the highway, takes off-ramps on two wheels, tailgates me, nearly takes off my front end running a stale yellow-then-red light, and nearly runs me over when I'm walking?

Re:Could be good for safety

[iminplaya]

If it detects your age and automatically turns off the blinker if you're older than say 65, it's ok with me.

What else?

[cubicledrone]

Does it have "Asshole mode" so that if the car is actually a Dodge Ram Truck, it will tailgate your ass with aircraft-landing-light-intensity headlights for several dozen freeway exits?

Does it have "soccer mom mode" so it will go 40 MPH over speed bumps for the 200 feet from the grocery store to the bank? Will it then be sure to park itself in two spaces so Mrs. Suburbia can spend 20 minutes getting her family of eight out of the car again so they can all go into the bank?

Does it have "lawn-mower-with-headlights dad mode" so SUVs will cruise at 75MPH on four-lane city streets and accelerate 0 to 60 in 5.5 seconds from every stoplight?

Does it have "Ms. Too-cool-for-you mode" so it will birddog people around corners and then swerve into the next lane at 65MPH so she can get to the next stoplight 2.3 seconds earlier?

If not, why, people might start driving with their heads out of their asses. Imagine that!

Re:lawyers

[PollGuy]

I had a slightly different reaction to that same line (Like, what will lawyers do if self-driving cars get in accidents?)

It was: oh, I wouldn't worry about the laywers, I'm sure they'd find some way to litigate over it.

Re:It wasn't my fault, officer. It was my car.

[mog007]

Holy self-driving car Batman! Someone has stolen your idea!

What if MS discovers the opportunity

[Anonymous Coward]

...to develop Windows GT for the new market of car-driving OS's? What if, after monopolizing this market, they leverage their monopoly into "destination software" and bundle it with the OS? Then your car will drive itself to the stores of selected MS partners (whether you like it or not,) while the resurrected Microsoft Bob is beamed full-screen onto your 65k-color widescreen windshield HUD to present you with a few selected ads of products that you'll find there. And if, God forbid, you should mistakenly enter directions to the Apple Store or your local LUG, some incompatibility bug may manifest itself and boom... BWOD.

Re:Microsoft car

[Ironica]

Better yet...

It looks like you're trying to go grocery shopping.

• Help me create a grocery shopping list
  
• Just go shopping without help

What the heck?!

[BasharTeg]

When did Slashdot degrade to one-liners? I expect some kind of summary so I can post my uninformed opinion without actually reading the article!!!

no speeding?

[oohp]

Blah, where is all the fun then? You can't speed a self driven car!