The Windows Security Nightmare

latif writes "Microsoft has set aside a $5 million fund for paying off informants on malware authors. In my opinion a good chunk of this money deserves to be paid to individuals who help catch the Microsoft employees behind the design of Windows Registry and Windows Update. As I found out, the two mis-features work together to deprive Windows users of all protection from malware. The details of my experience are in the article Why Windows is a Security Nightmare." In a related story, Anonymous Wussie writes "This guy had family with a problem: A Windows XP computer hit by worms that couldn't stay on-line long enough to get patched. His solution? A CD. This article describes the custom made CD he sent to his family member with patches, tools, and instructions to make a fresh install of Windows XP Home Internet safe. I know I'll be doing this in the future."

Uh huh!

[imidazole2]

A typical Windows system follows a simple lifecycle: it starts out with a clean Windows installation, which gradually deteriorates as programs are installed, and uninstalled. Eventually, the Windows registry accumulates so much crud that the user is forced to do a clean install. When a user does a clean install that user's system loses all the previously applied security updates, and becomes a sitting duck for worms and other malware.

Thats why I'm such a FreeBSD/Mac advocate.

Burn a cd?

[JustKidding]

custom made CD he sent to his family member with patches, tools, and instructions to make a fresh install of Windows XP Home Internet safe. I know I'll be doing this in the future."

Better make that a rewritable...

that's easy...

[Anonymous Coward]

the CD held knoppix

my windows security nightmare..

[Anonymous Coward]

my windows security nightmare involves bill gates breaking all my boxen with a life size stainless steel Clippy.

Re:Custom CD

[rsidd]

Wow...what a concept! I never would have thought of that.

You can get the same from MS, free.

RTFA. (Wow, what a concept!) He covers that.

A grandmother can do it

[AtariAmarok]

""so simple, even my grandmother could implement it."

"(AP) Dateline August 12, 2008. National and international commerce was brought to a halt as the "SugarCookie" worm infected and seized up the installed base of Windows 2006 computers. An FBI task force was able to determine that the worm was written by someone's grandmother who thought she was entering a cookie recipe into her computer. She was quoted as saying 'I did not know that Windows was so insecure that you could bring down networks with accidentally-written worm programs'"

Make Windows Open Source!

[Anonymous Coward]

I think it would benefit Microsoft and their developer community if they just would make Windows 2000 and XP Open Source. The dedicated, experienced, and loyal Open Source developer community would be able to enhance these operating systems to new levels.

We would have embedded Ogg Vorbis support in Notepad, a visual tool for ipchains using Paint, and most importantly, a Mozilla plug-in for IE so that a user could run a browser within a browser which would be inherently more secure.

Which is nice.

A Different Perspective . . .

[pariahdecss]

How about creating a CD to make the internet safe from Windows XP
Maybe something that strips out the entire TCP/IP stack - a castration of sorts for the good of all mankind

My name is Bill and I pronounce Windows -- WeenDOHS

Re:offended

[ggvaidya]

She's a C programmer. 'nuff said :).

Re:offended

[Anonymous Coward]

Uh-huh, right, that's her real name.

"Simcop2387 get off your computer and get down here for dinner!" something you hear often?

Re:Use the Firewall

[somethinghollow]

Okay. I'll climb under my desk, unplug my nic, climb out, power on the machine, wait until everything is loaded, climb back under my desk, plug it back in, then climb out and be productive.

That is a great solution. Maybe Microsoft should make a KB article and send it to all the upperlevel business types in corperate America. I can see all the suits in their lavish office hundreds of feed above the city streets doing the Microsoft Shuffle. Now all they need is a catchy pop song to go with it and they'll be on Casey Kasem's Top 40.

I'd rather just use my Mac.

your dad says...

[blastedtokyo]

Son, I think it was a virus that took your name out of the will.

Re:Use the Firewall

[bryanp]

Perhaps I'm taking the analogy too far, but can you name another product that is widely sold brand new with massive known defects?
Ask me again on election day.

Re:Not so fast, sir

[schemanista]

Look, I am not trying to defend Microsoft here. But I do have small tool kit, a first aid kit, a pressure guage, and a fire extinguisher in my car. Purchased at my own expense; not provided by the auto manufacturer.

Did you install your own airbags, brakelines, windshield and headlights? Those came standard with my car--and (metaphorically) with my OS.

Re:Use the Firewall

[minotaurcomputing]

"And if you're on a wireless LAN?"

Wave you hands in front of the antenae to block the signal.

Re:Use the Firewall

[sik0fewl]

How about you wait until the firewall is loaded before plugging in the network cable?

Yeah, that's an elegant solution:

"Windows has finished starting. It is now safe* to plug in your network cable."

*Warning: may not actually be safe.

Re:Whether you are offended

[Anonymous Coward]

pretty soon the saying will go doughnuts to dollars...

Re:Use the Firewall

[bfischer]

Put it in a lead box. That will also keep it hidden from that Clark Kent guy.

Re:Use the Firewall

[needacoolnickname]

Hey dad!

I still have a few more years to pay off those loans. Maybe you can help me out now? I'll fix your computer for ya.

Re:Use the Firewall

[mav[LAG]]

Girls are like Internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken.

You can still get one from a foreign country :)

Re:its not that bad

[sik0fewl]

If it has no virus scanner, how do you know that it's never been infected?

Ignorance is bliss :)

Re:A grandmother can do it

[EvilTwinSkippy]

Grandma's gotta stop getting her recipes from the Anarchist's Cookbook.

Re:Use the Firewall

[Anonymous Coward]

fixed in SP2

Which is *great* news for people trying to download SP2.

Re:Use the Firewall

[Anonymous Coward]

You're really good at getting angry. Do you practice that at home?

Hand Waving Firewall

[Anonymous Coward]

Are you sure the signal is too strong to be blocked by hand waving? Perhaps you're not waving fast enough.

Re:Use the Firewall

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm running XP SP2 beta at home, and this is exactly what it does:
http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=106651& thresho ld=0&commentsort=0&tid=109&mode=thread&cid=9077529

It posts to Slashdot? That's creepy.

Re:Use the Firewall

[mikeee]

And if you're on a wireless LAN?

Wrap your computer in tinfoil.

Registry is the most importan MS Feature

[Anonymous Coward]

Enough bitching about the Windows Registry. This is probably the single most successful MS Windows feature. It was designed to deteriotate performance of a system slowly over time so that the users would eventually have to buy a new PC or upgrade to the next version of MS Windows. Especially now that even 3-4 year old PCs are "fast-enough" for most people except for a few high end users like gamers, without the self-detoriating performance feature enabled by the Windows Registry, not only Microsoft, but also companies like Dell, HP, IBM, Intel and AMD would be in deep doo-doo, perhaps resulting in a total economic disaster even worse than the crash of 2000 (or 1929)

We should be thankful to Microsoft for protecting our economy!

Re:Whether you are offended

[jamesmrankinjr]

Take an iPOD, a Laptop with a wireless card in it, and a wireless access point to a retirement home. Place them on a table right next to an Internet connection of any kind. Now ask if any of the residents can get a song from the iTunes store onto the iPOD.

On the other hand, if you tell them that they can use it to download pictures of their grandkids, they'll probably have it up and running faster than a 19 year old nerd could :).

Peace be with you,
-jimbo

Re:offended

[Dr. Smeegee]

It's always wise to avoid Brad's Pitts.

Re:Use the Firewall

[silicon not in the v]

Sorry, but Zone Alarm, Black Ice, etc. are all PIECES OF SHIT.

...later...

God I hate seeing ignorant fucks blaming the software vendor for their own ignorance, then getting modded up for it.

Uh, yeah...me too. :)

Re:Uh huh!

[smittyoneeach]

Yeah, but can you hear the distant howls of derisive laughter echoing back through time from the alternate future where they actually did that?
Admittedly, I can't either, but it sounded kinda cool, so I wrote it.

Security problem? What security problem?

[Anonymous Coward]

Just click on the bonzaiBUDDY poster and let them take care of all of your security for you. Just trust the people who brought you bonzaiBUDDY just like the people who brought you bonzaiMicrosoft, buddy, and you will be fine. And hey, the lie they tell you about so-called 'worms' and 'viruses' slowing your computer down is a big fat lie! All you need to do is rush out and buy a brand spanking new super double-extra fast and so much wayyy better computer. C'mon, trusssst the bonzaiMicrosoft people. Have they ever hozed you before?