What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? 344
enodev writes "Cisco announces today it's new 'Carrier routing system' For a price tag starting at $450,000 it's able to route up to 92 Tbps. It also features IOS-XR and the first optical OC-768c/STM-256c optical Interface." update changed TBps to Tbps and suddenly things seemed less cool ;)
I know exactly what I'd do (Score:5, Funny)
what would I do? (Score:5, Funny)
Various uses (Score:4, Funny)
Script kiddie: OMG I CAN DOS PPL!!!!!!!111111111oneone
Pirate: Warez, and other assorted treasures.
CowboyNeal: Hey, we can use it to host slashdot!
I would be very, very pissed... (Score:5, Funny)
I know what I'm gonna do (Score:3, Funny)
What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? (Score:5, Funny)
Pinky : "Gee, Brain what do you want to do tonight?"
Brain : "The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
Re:I would... (Score:5, Funny)
"My bunghole itches. Is it because I am a girl?"
that could (Score:3, Funny)
Failing that with enough filespace it could server an awful lot of mp3/ogg/aac
CJC
hrm... (Score:5, Funny)
actually, I just hook it up in my apartment and not tell anyone- then the next lan party I host not get complaints that my network is too slow.
(bastards.)
Re:More info.... (Score:5, Funny)
I have this weird image of a pile 72 routers being daisy-chained serially, with the insanely grinning salesman standing next to it saying "Look! If you connect them to each other they go twice as fast! It goes up to 11!"
Now that gold-plated high-speed modem cable will finally come in handy!
Damn YOU! (Score:2, Funny)
Now it's huddled in the corner crying about "too much pressure to perform" or some such crap! Thanks a lot you insensitive clod!
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:5, Funny)
Not to be picky but it starts with r0n and ends with Jeremy
*ducks*
Careful (Score:5, Funny)
After Much Deliberation.... (Score:5, Funny)
What would I do.... (Score:1, Funny)
What I would do.... (Score:5, Funny)
Immediately, I'd notice it wouldn't work.
Then I'd call up my technical support for the cable service, and tell them I couldn't connect.
They would have me unplug the modem from the "PC", shut down my computer, and reboot it. It wouldn't work.
Then they'd have me cycle the cable modem.
Then they'd ask me if I had a router. I would say "Yeah, I do bitches! I got me a Cisco 92TBps. Cost me almost a half-mil, but it's sooo cool!"
Then they'd tell me it was unsupported, to which I'd respond I would wedge that pizza box sideways up their asses.
THE END
Re:that could (Score:3, Funny)
from that Windows-based supercomputer...
slashdot (Score:5, Funny)
for the first time ever...
*gasps*
attempt to slashdot slashdot.
Re:But... (Score:5, Funny)
What Would You Do With a 92 TBps Router? (Score:1, Funny)
*ducks*
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:3, Funny)
nerds : bandwidth
Now we assume that I have the kind of bandwidth that makes this router useful. And we all know what crackheads will do for crack...
</sarcasm>
Re:that could (Score:5, Funny)
Re:After Much Deliberation.... (Score:1, Funny)
big routers just don't attract the babes the way I'd like.
You must be using them wrong.
With a 95% confidence level, (Score:5, Funny)
0. "fist pr0st!!!!!111~"
1. "92TBps of pr0n!!!"
2. "Imagine a beowulf cluster of these!"
3. "I for one welcome our OC-768c/STM-256/optical Interface overlords!"
4. "1. OC-768c 2. STM-256 3.
5. "If IOS is based on unix, does that mean Cisco will have to pay SCO for licenses?"
6. "I use BNC you insensitive clod!"
7. "emacs does this
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Terabits, not terabytes (Score:5, Funny)
Psh.. only 19 terabytes? I _was_ excited, but now...
Re:After Much Deliberation.... (Score:5, Funny)
Vast knowledge (Score:2, Funny)
and then porn.
On a more serious note, I would very much like to setup my own "Internet Node". No need for me to pay for sattelite internet any more, the internet comes to me!
Well, I'd... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:what would I do? (Score:2, Funny)
I'd... (Score:5, Funny)
interesting story (or maybe not) (Score:5, Funny)
Being the sadistic mothrefucker that I am, I hopped over to cisco's site at about 1am and saw this beast listed "Carrier Router System". I didn't recognize it as a "normal" Cisco offering, and 92Tb/s is really fucking fast. Though, beyond that, I didn't think anything of it. Cisco is just expected to have the fastest stuff out there, right? And to think, were I more up on my Cisco products, I could've submitted this to the front page. (And they could have denied me access, and posted someone else's submission 12 hours later, as tends to be the case around here
As it sands, those sorry sons-of-bitches in my IT200 networking course are going to hate me. They likely all picked SOHO equipment to compare/contrast and won't know up from down when it comes to comparing/contrasting. "What's 'Tbps' mean?" they'll ask.
Looking at Longhorn minimum requirements ... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:what would I do? (Score:5, Funny)
It could probably even take another computer on it too...but I wouldn't want to push it.
Re:With a 95% confidence level, (Score:5, Funny)
"All of your routers are belong to us"
and
"In Soviet Russia, traffic routes you"
You nailed the rest of the cliches I can think of though.
Re:With a 95% confidence level, (Score:2, Funny)
Of course, there is always the slashdot random story generator [bbspot.com]
One guy in our office had his default home page set to slashdot. Someone changed it to this page. It took him 10 minutes before he noticed.
Top 10 (Score:5, Funny)
9. Get a really really fast sniffer, so I can make sure there's no porn traffic going through my router
8. Write out 92Tb as a decimal number, just because I know it'll look really impressive
7. Use it to pick up chicks. Revert to old story about being in astronaut training program, as it would be just as successful and slightly less geeky
6. It's optical, right? See what happens when I cross the beams...
5. Sleep with it under my bed. Less painful than a vasectomy, and probably just as effective
4. Paint go-fast stripes on it, put a "Turbo" sticker on it, then track down and razz anyone who spent $450k on the "old, non-turbo version" by mistake
3. Use it to beat the living daylights out of everyone associated with "Big Brother". I really really hate that show
2. Advertise it on eBay with a photo, no reserve, and a description of "some sort of computer network thingy"
1. Buy 2 and see if they'll reproduce in captivity
Re:Terabits, not terabytes (Score:1, Funny)
Ok, I always get this confused. Is a "Library of Congress" a unit of weight, volume, or information?
Time Travel? (Score:4, Funny)
Put some instant coffee inside to see if I could go back in time....
Newbie Question... (Score:1, Funny)
All this router stuff really confuses me.
Could somebody please tell me how to hook this thing up to my PDA?
BSEG... (Score:4, Funny)
int pos 2/0
*giggle*
shut
*cackle*
no shut
*snort*
shut
*ROFL*
no shut
"Sir, I can't see anything wrong with the network. It must (shut) be a problem (no shut) with your equipment.
What I would do is... (Score:2, Funny)
What would I do? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:that could (Score:3, Funny)
Re:After Much Deliberation.... (Score:5, Funny)
"Oooh, Aston Martin! Argh! Geek! But it is an Astin Martin... but that geek! Ugh... I wonder if I can unbundle this comingled product - Where's an antitrust lawyer when you need one?"
-Adam
I'd have first post on /. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:3, Funny)
I know what I'd do: Sell it on eBay.
WTF else am I going to do with it? Use it as a doorstop?
Re:What would I do.... (Score:2, Funny)
Considering the amount of porn you could amass with this thing, I'd say it's a pretty likely bet that the user WOULD be naked. Clothing just gets in the way.
mirror (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:2, Funny)
Cisco web (Score:2, Funny)
You're all missing one thing (Score:1, Funny)
Longhorn Requirement (Score:5, Funny)
And the other 10%... (Score:4, Funny)
God, i love this place!
What to do, what to do... (Score:5, Funny)
>>I think so Brain, but how can we afford to get a router that can do 92 Tb/s?
>>Pinky, what did I tell you about reading
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:2, Funny)
I'd connect the output to the input and invent the "Information Cyclotron"!!
Re:Longhorn Requirement (Score:2, Funny)
I could finally.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What I would do.... (Score:2, Funny)
You: "Hello?"
"PLEASE DIAL ONE FOR BUSINESS SUPPORT, TWO FOR..."
*five*
You: "Hello?"
"PLEASE ENTER THE ID NUM..."
*fivefivefiveonetwoonetwo*
Them: *thick indian accent* "Hello?"
You: "What?"
Them: "Yes, hello."
Them: "Do you have a router?"
You: "No, I don't want to buy a scooter."
Them: "No no, a router."
You: "Oh yes, I have a Cisco 92TBps."
Them: "What did you say about my mother?"
You: "I said, I have a Cisco 92tbps router."
Them: "Why must you say such horrible things about.."
*click*
At this point, it's best to give up, and just post a stupid, but popular question to ask slashdot to better show off the router. "I just acquired a Cisco 92TBps router and am trying to set up an ISP in my apartment building using only a thimble of wax and a two by four wood plank with a nail in it. Can someone tell me my legal liabilities for this ISP, and an open source solution to manage the whole thing, as well as an OS replacement for the cisco IOS firmware?"
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:3, Funny)
If I ever see a guy on a street corner with a sign that says "will suck dick for bandwidth", then I'm quitting the computing profession.
Re:what would I do? (Score:3, Funny)
I've got a 100 megabit switch I'll sell ya for a much cheaper 100 grand.
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:2, Funny)
That's right, aim low. Personally, I'd go to some bar where geek girls hang out and ask if any of them would want to go back to my place and see my 92TBps router.
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:2, Funny)
Picky or pricky?
More Importantly (Score:2, Funny)
Bongos (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I know exactly what I'd do (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How do you test it? (Score:3, Funny)
"Hi, I just bought one of your 92T routers, and a few minutes ago, I only got 101,155,069,755,390 bits through in one of the seconds. Can you send me my two bits please?"