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Dear Microsoft Windows ... 617

Posted by timothy
from the oh-darling-how-could-you dept.
SpaceCanary writes "I recently read this open letter to Windows and I think it's pretty funny. The guy writes a letter to his OS as if he was breaking up with it. It's a bit strange, but finally more people are starting to see the light and moving away from Windows. The writer chronicles his relationship with the versions of Windows and finally is able to move on in the end."
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Dear Microsoft Windows ...

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  • Dear Internet, (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:55PM (#10387007)
    Dear Internet,

    I wish you weren't filled with self-righteous idiots who can only express themselves in manifestos, open letters, and rants. I wish people knew how to write meaningful criticism instead of half-hearted sarcasm.

    Sincerely,
    John Q. Irony
    • by Anonymous Coward
      I'm TrackBacking my blog to this post. Anyone have a Permalink?
    • by mabu (178417) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:02PM (#10387141)

      Dear John Q. Irony

      We understand how important it is for people to feel someone listens when they offer comments and suggestions. As a result, we've developed this automated attendant to help process your inquiry.

      Thank you very much for your letter. Your letter is important to us. But first please check our knowledge base, F.A.Q., and unofficial message forums. If this fails, fill out the 3-page customer service ticket at http://internet.com/cust/level1/sectionA/form1a.cf m

      If this fails, you can speak to a customer service representative but please make sure to do so during standard business hours in the country of Pakistan, and have Java, ActiveX, Flash, Quicktime and the latest version of IE before you visit the user support area.

      Thank you. We do care.

      - Internet Inc.
    • by Foofoobar (318279) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:05PM (#10387918)
      I wish you didn't work for Microsoft.
  • /.ed (Score:3, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:55PM (#10387008)
    Something tells me his server still uses Windows though...
  • by bobbis.u (703273) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:55PM (#10387009)
    Well, I bet he doesn't have a real girlfriend to write the letter to! If he does, he probably spends more time with his OS (or should that be SO?!)
  • by suso (153703) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:56PM (#10387022) Homepage Journal
    Hey (*dink* *dink*), it looks like you're trying to write a letter.......
    • by Anonymous Custard (587661) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:10PM (#10387244) Homepage Journal
      Hey (*dink* *dink*), it looks like you're trying to write a letter....... [Help me] [No thanks]

      (click "No thanks")

      Okay, you don't want my help! Should I close?

      (click "yes")

      Okay, I'll close. Bye! Shall I do a little dance as I go?

      (click "Hell, no")

      Come on, I love dancing! Pleeease?

      (click "Do you want to find out how many times you can bend a paper clip out of shape before it snaps?")

      Hmm, you make a persuasive argument. I think I'll just close now.

    • Clippy: "It looks like you're trying to write a hate letter [theregister.co.uk]. Please select from one or more of the following hate styles:"
      [X] Nazi
      [_] Bagdad Bob
      [X] SCO Lawyer
      [_] Lisp geek forced to use Java at work
      [_] Satan
  • by wattersa (629338) <`andrew' `at' `andrewwatters.com'> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387043) Homepage
    Inaccessible, oh well. Is it on IIS? ;-)

    The idea reminds of Microsoft Wife [infolanka.com], a joke that made the rounds years ago.
  • by wikdwarlock (570969) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387049) Homepage
    I'm sorry to have left files on you that were posted to /. We had some great times, you and I... sharing files w/ people all around the globe. I noticed that you started to glow red and smoke, but thought this was just a signal of your burning passion for me. Alas, I can now see that the pressure of servicing so many other people has taken its toll on you and you've succumbed. I'm sorry to see you go. Sincerely, Joe User P.S. You will receive a bill for the burnt hole in my carpet.
  • by AbbyNormal (216235) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387050) Homepage
    write an Obituary for this guy's webserver.

    "IT was a spunky server, full of life and function, however the Good Lord deemed it necessary to remove this server from this world with an act of Slashdot".
  • by putch (469506) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387052) Homepage
    see you in hell.
  • Wow... (Score:5, Funny)

    by JoeLinux (20366) <joelinux AT gmail DOT com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387054) Homepage
    A dear John letter to an OS. Reminds me of when I had my last Pascal class on a VMS/VAX system:

    Dear VMS:
    You have tortured my life for the last time. I hate you with a pure and perfect hatred. Your renaming of my files is maddening. Your syntax is arcane and pointless. I would prefer attempting to cluster 500 Windows ME systems.

    It's not me, it's definitely you.
    • Re:Wow... (Score:5, Funny)

      by bourne_id (812415) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:13PM (#10387311)

      Quote: I would prefer attempting to cluster 500 Windows ME systems.

      I tried to visualize attempting such a feat. My brain rejected the idea totally, much like a coredump. I now have a headache for my heresy...

      JMD

  • by kkovach (267551) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387058)
    Ahhhhhh! I'm on fire! Ahhhhhhh!

    - Web Server
  • Article Text (Score:4, Informative)

    by LanMan04 (790429) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387059)
    Dear Microsoft Windows,

    In retrospect, this letter should be of no surprise to you. For years now I have stood by you despite the terrible things people have said. We have always managed to work through our serious problems but too many things have been swept under the table. I do not think I can stand (idly) by you any longer.

    What's that? No, another service pack will not help, not this time. I remember when we met, a warm April day, in 1992. For years I had been hearing about you, about your graphical user interface, innovations, and problems in the courtroom... I had seen you here and there, but it was not until that fateful day, April 6, that our relationship became serious. Though you had changed with the times, never like this. I was almost knocked off my feet when I first saw you. Right then I knew it, you had to be mine. Who else could offer me what you could? I wanted, no, I needed, your TrueType font support, your video playback capability, your color screen savers...

    As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 1995. At the time I thought our happiness would never end. You brought me places I never thought possible. How could I refuse your Plug-and-Play cabability or your TCP/IP stack? I mean, you gave up your best friend, DOS, so our relationship could progress unhindered. It hurts me to look back at us, two starry-eyed lovers wanting nothing more than each other's company.

    Then it almost all came tumbling down. June 25, 1998. What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? You changed, like in 1995, but not like I thought you would. Still clinging to your DOS kernel, like a small, lost child clutching its teddy bear. Where was the OS I had learned to love? You feebly proffered USB support, DVD playback, and a Quick Launch toolbar, but you were beginning to mix with a bad crowd. With that invasive Internet Explorer. I knew about what happened... You let him access your Explorer. I thought that was something special between us.

    Though we had a bit of a falling out afterwards, my love was rekindled after February 17th, 2000. You were once again new- Professional- just like I thought you could one day be. I knew you were once again stable, not like back in 1998, and that you were the only OS for me. I remembered what had drawn me you you in the first place- ease of use, speed, your stunning looks, your compatibility. I remember saying, "I hope things never change because I love you the way you are."

    I thought that what we had meant something- your transformation in 2000 seemed to cement that. I know now that I was wrong. By Sept 17 you tried to change for the Millennium. I saw right through you- trying to settle down and fit in better with the 'home-user'. Did you think I would love you more because of a few cosmetic changes? I was not impressed with the full-color icons, fancy skins, or your new media player. I thought what we had was deeper than that. Luckily you gave me a choicer, I did not have to choose the new you, the old version would be fine. I know you meant well but you just shouldn't have done that, especially with the '1998' episode so fresh in my mind.

    By October 25, 2001 more changes had come. Everyone told be how great the new you would be. I got so tired of hearing about how up to date, easy to work with, and slick looking you had become. That was all I could take. You changed so much that I didn't even know you any more. I really dug some of your new features but the old you, the you from 2000, could have done all this. So why did you have to change at all? I didn't want to upgrade you or make you into something you were not.

    Well, like I wrote, I have reached my limit. Its going to take more than an automatic update to fix our relationship. I just don't feel like I know you anymore. For example, do you know what I found on the computer a few days ago? Spyware! I wonder who let that in...

    Windows, I know you will try to
    • by $RANDOMLUSER (804576) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:19PM (#10387396)
      I think he's wasting his time.

      Windows attention span isn't that long.

    • by mreed911 (794582) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:22PM (#10387421)
      PS - Please don't be blue. And I'll be screening your calls...

      PPS - Yes, SP2 *does* make you look fat.
    • by bluFox (612877) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:24PM (#10387436) Homepage Journal
      author:[q]You let him access your Explorer. I thought that was something special between us.[/q]

      m$w:hey but then by that time you were forcing me into two somes with that naughty grub & linux !! That was bad, really really bad,..
      how could i ever forgive u ??

    • Reply to SC (Score:5, Funny)

      by dspasovski (232688) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:27PM (#10387469)
      Yours no longer,
      S C


      Dear S C,

      I didn't give a fuck about you anyway -- already took all your money AND made you look like an idiot - what woman can possibly want more?

      Sincerely,
      Ms. Windows
    • by FirstTimeCaller (521493) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:32PM (#10387525)

      As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 1995.

      I think I need a shower...

    • by Deusy (455433) <(charlie) (at) (vexi.org)> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:39PM (#10387604) Homepage
      Dear Linux,

      In retrospect, this letter will be of complete surprise to you. For years I have stood by you, no matter how needy you have been. The time required has destroyed my once happy, fun filled life. I used to have friends, but you took them all away. You're just too high maintainence.

      We tried many different fashions to see if you'd change... from hats to french laungerie. But you were always the same, time consuming woman who wouldn't let me live my life. And boy are you fucking ugly. I've had to learn the magical mysterious of Hollywood make-up to make you look good in the past, although recently you've gotten a bit better at looking sexy without days of my undivided attention.

      There were good times. You were reliable, always around, always available. You were open and honest, and I could see into the very depths of your soul. But you were antisocial, getting anything to work with you was a chore and I've just about had enough of fighting with configuration files to get the most basic peripherals to work with you.

      Perhaps, when you've become more friendly, and you work just as well in your various styles, we can be one again.

      For now I'm off to that flashy babe Windows. She might be an expensive, unreliable whore, but she looks stunning and good in bed. (Can you go to bed with a computer?) Though I'll be back when she breaks my heart.

      (I would go with that super model MacOS X but she's out of my league - my wallet is only 'so' fat.)

      Fuck it. All the effort has to be worth something. I'll stick it out to see if, as they say year on year, this will be the year of the Linux desktop... the year it becomes easy. They have been saying it since 1997 but they can't be eternally wrong... can they?

      Yours probably forever due to cash shortage,
      C.
      • by shades66 (571498) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @07:10PM (#10389197)
        Dear C,
        I am sorry to hear of the difficulties understanding my ways. I only offered you so many options so that I could try and work the way you wanted me to. Not everyone understands my flexibility.

        I wish you success with your new babe called Windows. I understand that she is very strict and will only let you perform the functions that she wants you to perform. I also hear that she is very possesive and will try and stop you talking to others not like her and if you do she will show you her nasty blue side. Not wanting to slag her off I should warn you that she has a habbit of letting others use her, command her to do things you may not like, like giving out your credit card details, using the CPU cycle you paid for to send hundreds of emails to strangers and to allow others to perform criminal acts.

        So this is the end. Maybe one day you will come back and enjoy my freedoms.

        Love,
        Linux
    • Ah Windows,
      How can I forget the first time that I saw you, in 1988, immature and overdressed like a 16 year old street-walker. The sparkle was eye-catching, but I knew that there was not enought maturity to keep me interested.

      It was years later before I had you thrust apon me again. An old friend of mine needed to use my 386sx to edit a Word document on, so he loaded up a mountain of diskettes and left you behind.
      Sure, it was fun at first with Solataire and, uh, solataire... But you got in the way and I wa
  • by neuro.slug (628600) <[moc.liamtoh] [ta] [__oruen]> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:57PM (#10387061)
    After all, using Windows is like being with someone who:

    - Only lets you do things with her approval
    - Requires money once in a while to 'upgrade' her features
    - Doesn't allow you to even think about seeing anyone else besides her

    And to top it all off, you end up contracting a dozen or so STDs even though she says that she always uses protection.
  • Right on! (Score:5, Funny)

    by tgd (2822) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:58PM (#10387071)
    It's a bit strange, but finally more people are starting to see the light and moving away from Windows.

    Yeah, because everything you see written on the Internet can be extrapolated into assumptions about the general population.

    And you thought goatse was just one freaky guy...

  • So... (Score:5, Funny)

    by tunabomber (259585) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:59PM (#10387079) Homepage
    Was Windows cheating on him and allowing some script kiddie to access its private parts or something?
  • Dear Windows... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by scowling (215030) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:00PM (#10387108) Homepage
    You let me run the games I want to play, the industry-standard word processing and publishing software I need to use in my job, and haven't crashed on me in months. While your security is questionable, at least I know that there is some accountability in your design.

    I'll be home by 5.
    • Re:Dear Windows... (Score:3, Insightful)

      by yamla (136560)
      You allow Microsoft to disclaim almost all accountability when you accept the EULA.
    • by IANAAC (692242) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:24PM (#10387433)
      Read the prenuptual agreement. You won't be so happy.
    • Re:Dear Windows... (Score:3, Insightful)

      by maximilln (654768)
      at least I know that there is some accountability in your design

      What delusion negates the EULA? Windows has no accountability.
  • Reminds me... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by SimianOverlord (727643) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:01PM (#10387114) Homepage Journal
    Of a readers letter I really enjoyed from The Register UK IT mag. It was an answer to an article about Microsoft saying basically they get too much stick. Managed to track it down via Google: Enjoy, if it's your thing.

    ..

    "Microsoft simply makes some fairly mediocre software and charges a lot for it."

    No.

    Microsoft deliberately designs software that is inherently insecure and refuses to fix the fundamental design flaws no matter how bad the outcome is.

    When Microsoft merged IE and the desktop, almost ten years ago now, I immediately acted to get IE and Outlook banned at work. Why? Because using the same APIs to operate on trusted (local) and untrusted (email, internet) objects makes every program that uses those APIs responsible for determining, independently, whether an object is trusted or not.

    I and every security administrator I knew wrote Microsoft telling them this was a horrible idea. Nothing. They ignored the security community and went on to actually build IE in to the next release of Windows so you couldn't leave it out, as part of their game-plan to try and outflank the DoJ.

    I didn't know what the result would be, but I knew it would be bad. I did what I could to discourage our users from running IE and Outlook, and waited.

    We didn't have long to wait.

    When the Melissa virus showed up, I thought, "OK, this should let them know they've got a problem. They'll pull out IE and settle, and we'll be able to secure Windows again". Boy, was I naive.

    Here we are, it's 2004 instead of 1996, and there are still weekly exploits found in IE, Outlook, Windows Media Player, programs that use the MSHTML control. Get rid of that and you'd cut the virus problem by a factor of 10 or 100. 90-99% of the time spent fighting and cleaning up after viruses should be billed directly to Redmond, and because they did it to illegally avoid complying with the agreement they had with the DoJ, there should be criminal charges on top of that.

    Microsoft doesn't merely charge a lot for mediocre software, they deliberately and knowingly force people to chew up lifetimes fighting a problem that should not exist, and they do it to win a little extra market share for a secondary product that they don't even charge money for.

    • Re:Reminds me... (Score:4, Insightful)

      by oGMo (379) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:33PM (#10387535)
      Microsoft deliberately designs software that is inherently insecure and refuses to fix the fundamental design flaws no matter how bad the outcome is.
      Hanlon's Razor:
      Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained
      by stupidity.

      Personally I think Microsoft as a whole is just so incompetant they simply can't pull it off. Business policies, marketting, etc. all come together to make certain things more important than others, and a mindset of "just getting things done" versus "doing things right from the start" roll into the mediocre Microsoft mess we see today.

      Unfortunately for them, to fix this, they can't just change a few lines of code. It requires a complete overhaul of the entire corporate culture in all respects. Doing that with a company the size of Microsoft would be pretty tough, especially with a mindset that tells them such things are unneccessary!

    • Re:Reminds me... (Score:5, Interesting)

      by mkro (644055) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:08PM (#10387947)
      When Microsoft merged IE and the desktop, almost ten years ago now, I immediately acted to get IE and Outlook banned at work. Why? Because using the same APIs to operate on trusted (local) and untrusted (email, internet) objects makes every program that uses those APIs responsible for determining, independently, whether an object is trusted or not.
      Isn't this the exact same thing KDE is going through now? Konqueror is a file- and webbrowser, and functions within each KDE program can be accessed using DCOP. E.g. Kopete reports an IM contact's online presence to KAdressbook, right-click a file in Konqueror and you can send it to everyone present in Kopete, etc, etc. Do anyone know if the KDE developers has taken special considerations to avoid doing the same mistakes MS did?
      • Re:Reminds me... (Score:4, Interesting)

        by J. T. MacLeod (111094) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:56PM (#10388558)
        There is *potential* for great security risks when you do something like this, but there are different ways to do it, some more secure than others (sandboxing, for example).

        The KDE developers have chosen a much better security model for integration. Microsoft did, in fact, implement some basic security measures, but they just left holes a mile wide, that's all.
    • of a nice joke about this issue in a PC Mag at that time:

      McD Guy: A Big Mac and a Coke. That's 6,99
      Bill G: I have just ordered a Big Mac
      McD Guy: The Coke belongs to this. It's part of the whole package
      Bill G: What? I won't pay the Coke!
      McD Guy: You don't need to. The Coke is free!
      Bill G: But the Big Mac alone was 3,99 before this?
      McD Guy: Thats right, but the Big Mac has new features now. It has a Coke included!
      Bill G: I have just drunk a Coke. I don't need another!
      McD Guy: Then you won't have a Big Mac!
      Bi
  • Co-dependency... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by the_rajah (749499) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:02PM (#10387138) Homepage
    I'm trying hard to break the relatioship off, but here at work there are those pesky old DOS programs that I still need to cross-assemble 8085 code for legacy hardware that still has useable life in it and old DOS based schematic programs that generated the drawings for that hardware back in the 80's. Oh and then there's the in-circuit emulators from the 80's that run with DOS interfaces. {{sigh}} At least I can go home at night to my own computer that runs SeSE 9.1, my new true-love. Shhh, don't say anything to my office Windows machine, though. It hasn't yet figured out that it's been dual booted.

    The author is a lucky guy that he was able to get out of that abusive relationship.

    "Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Mark Twain
    • Re:Co-dependency... (Score:3, Interesting)

      by yamla (136560)
      Have you looked at dosbox or dosemu under Linux? I've had better luck with them than trying to run DOS programs in more recent versions of Windows. YMMV, of course.
  • Can't get to site (Score:4, Interesting)

    by UrgleHoth (50415) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:02PM (#10387143) Homepage
    Seems to be /.ed

    But I'm making the change at home. I have a family, so I have to consider non-geek computer needs. I've ordered the imac G5.

    Now, for the mac users out there, what would you use in place of virtualpc?
  • Dear Slashdot (Score:5, Interesting)

    by NoInfo (247461) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:03PM (#10387157) Homepage Journal
    In retrospect, this letter should be of no surprise to you. For years now I have stood by you despite the terrible things you have said about Microsoft. We have always managed to work through our serious problems but too many things have been swept under the table. I do not think I can stand (idly) by you any longer.

    What's that? No, another DOOM3 review will not help, not this time.

    I remember when we met, a warm April day, in 1999. For years I had been hearing about you, about your terrible green HTML of death, Open Source advocation, poor social skills, web server obliteration, and problems raising money... I had seen you here and there, but it was not until that fateful day, April 6, that our relationship became serious. I was almost knocked off my feet when I first saw you. Right then I knew it, you had to be mine. Who else could offer me what you could? I wanted, no, I needed, your Cowboy Neal polls, your Insightful comments, your great techno music [mattie.net]...

    As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 2001. At the time I thought our happiness would never end. You brought me places I never thought possible. How could I refuse your IOCCC results or your Napster articles? I mean, you gave up your best friend, financial independence, so our relationship could progress unhindered with OSDN. It hurts me to look back at us, two starry-eyed lovers wanting nothing more than each other's first posts.

    Well, like I wrote, I have reached my limit. Its going to take more than mod points to fix our relationship. I just don't feel like I know you anymore. For example, do you know what I found on the site a few days ago? A dupe! I wonder who let that in...

    Slashdot, I know you will try to change, but I have been hurt too many times. You should know that I have been seeing someone else for a few months now. She is fun [moveon.org], easy going, and will do something for me that you never even considered, oust the president.

    I don't know what else to say- we had a good run, but now its over. Pack up your Beowulf cluster, your SCO stories, hell, take slashcode if you have to. I am sure we'll see each other from time to time but I know one thing, I'll never again have to depend on you.

    Yours no longer,
    N I

  • I'm sorry (Score:5, Funny)

    by numbware (691928) <justin@justinjacobs.com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:05PM (#10387181) Homepage
    Windows, I'm sorry about my affair with Linux. If it will make you happy... I wasn't root. You know I'm your only admin. What? Everyone you know is your admin? By default? What are you, some kind of whore?! This is over! (Stomps out of room crying).
  • Spyware... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Ogrez (546269) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:08PM (#10387216)
    For example, do you know what I found on the computer a few days ago? Spyware! I wonder who let that in...

    You did... surfing porn sites and clicking YES on every popup asking you if you wanted to install gain/gator/cometcursor/mysearch...

    You can blame IE, you can blame Microsoft... but in the end... the real admins know... BLAME THE USERS!!!
    • by Soko (17987)
      No. I do not blame the luser.

      Any competent Systems Administrator knows that lusers lack any real clue what-so-ever, and therefore cannot be trusted with dangerous system level tools. If there is no Sysadmin that will be present, there should be no such tools within a 5 mile radius of any given luser.

      I blame Microsoft for providing a toolkit that makes my lusers able to mess up my systems before I can LART them dead in thier tracks.

      Oh, fsck, another one looking to see what this JPEG exploit code looks lik
  • by Sialagogue (246874) <sialagogueNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:08PM (#10387217)

    Just last week I read an article where Microsoft's consumer OS market share has been continually dropping -- down from from a 6 year high of 108 percent to 105 percent just last quarter.

    The Microsoft rep that lives under the sink in my kitchen was quick to strike back, however, telling me that the drop came only as a result of survey companies no longer screening for "dirtbag hippies and Communists."

    I'm hopeful.

  • Moving to Apple ! (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:12PM (#10387295)
    Check out the amazon computer top sellers [amazon.com] - 8 out of the top 10 are Macs. I was pretty surprised to see this a few days ago, and it's been like this since then. The new iMac is a hit, and that's no surprise - look at what the x86 competition is offering - an iMac look alike [amazon.com], priced about the same. Seems nice from this angle, but then look at it from the side [amazon.com]. Bulk.
  • This is stupid... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by phaetonic (621542) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:14PM (#10387322)
    I work with UNIX full-time at work, specifically Solaris and HP-UX. I have been "driven up the wall" by the various errors Solaris and HP-UX have caused me, which includes not sleeping all night to fix a problem that I felt was a UNIX-only issue. I've also had problems with Windows, but I usually delegate the task of fixing Windows boxes to someone else. My poiint is every OS when used extensively can and will give you some pain. Sometimes I feel like the whole Windows vs. Linux thing is like the republicans versus the democrats.

    Just a rant with karma to burn..
  • by m_dob (639585) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:15PM (#10387337) Homepage
    Yup, after 10 years of puppy-like devotion to Microsoft, I've decided that Macs live up to their promises so much better than Windows PCs do. They have a modern, powerful operating system. I just don't get the same feeling using PCs.

    I have always looked out for quality - using Firefox at the moment, and it's come to the point where the Mac is the only quality package out there. I don't want to have to wait 3 years for another buggy OS.

    Sorry Microsoft. We had some good times.
  • got mirror? (Score:5, Funny)

    by Tablizer (95088) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:18PM (#10387372) Homepage Journal
    Dear Server,

    Stop buckling under slashdot's load, you vacuum-tubed dented cow-boxed surplus wimp! I cannot read the damned link.

    Sincerely,
    Pissed slashdot user
  • by dfj225 (587560) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:28PM (#10387486) Homepage Journal
    I think his webserver just broke up with him :(
  • Dear /. (Score:3, Funny)

    by arose (644256) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:30PM (#10387506)
    Please stop poking me, the effect is irritating.

    Anonymous Webserver.
  • by Skim123 (3322) <mitchell@4gu y s f r o mrolla.com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:40PM (#10387613) Homepage
    Forbidden


    You don't have permission to access /index.php on this server.
    This guy's not very eloquent.
  • by hopemafia (155867) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:51PM (#10387757)
    Dear Win XP Pro,

    I know I haven't been faithful when it comes to computing. I've done it with your mother Win 2k at school, your great aunt Win 98 at my sister's, two of the Linux sisters, Redhat and Mandrake in our own apartment, and even your sister Win XP Home on my lap(top) right in front of you. I know your father M$ is mad since I've never paid him (a visit). But you've always been my main OS, ever since I first met you. I've always taken good care of you, patched all your flaws, protected you from viruses, and kept you secure when we go out in the world (wide web). Please don't leave me. None of the other OS's have everything I need and want.

    -hopemafia
  • by skywalker107 (220077) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:10PM (#10387972)
    Dear User,

    I came to you with the intention of helping you do your job better and make life at home a little less boring.

    I gave you everything you wanted. I am trying to be everything to everyone with all of my features. There are people out there that use windows and are a little more sane when they install software and hardware.

    Remeber the scanner incedent. You bought that cheap 29 dollar model and it wouldn't work. You blamed me for that. But you didn't think about maybe it was the scanner.

    And the software you choose. Where should I begin. I gave you limited dos access for EMERGENCY use. You abused that until I finally said enough and took it away. I open up my DLL's so your precious software could get in and help with tasks i wasn't suited for but it was just ignored, and custom controls were written and guess who you blamed when it didn't work.

    I gave you plug and play and you wanted USB i gave you USB and you wanted Firewire. I brought the internet to your doorstep and you just couldn't get enough.

    I had patches available and you didn't install them. (Mental note: Self patch once moron leaves) and almost all of the time i didn't get sick until after the patch was avlaible.

    And then the event that broke this windows pain. Spyware!!!! You just couldn't stop looking at porn could you. You had to buy those viagra pills.

    Thanks for Nothing

    Windows XP PRO SP2

  • by Yaztromo (655250) <yaztromo AT mac DOT com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:43PM (#10388412) Homepage Journal

    Dear SC:

    If you think you're going to just dump me and leave after you've used me for all these years, you have something else coming, bub.

    I was a tramp when you met me, and you should have known this. I was brash, got around, was completely unstable. You weren't particularily good to me either -- you'd just disappear for hours every time you wanted to play Doom with your buddies.

    And it wasn't as if you didn't have other options. There was that nice, stable, amd smart OS/2 next door who had eyes for you. OS/2 was smart, sophisticated, let you do more at once, and could handle twice the bits I could. But you wanted someone who got around, who had been with all your friends, and who didn't require you to think or learn anything, who let you leave me and covort around with your old DOS buddies whenever you wanted.

    I did everything I could to try to hide the good life from you. I gave you some flash once in a while, but no substance. For some reason, you stuck around. I was always afraid you and your friends who used me would notice, so I had to take drastic measures.

    First off, I had to routinely sneak into your house in every new PC you bought, even if you or your friends didn't want me around. In fact, even if you couold go to sufficient lengths to make sure I didn't sneak back into your home, you still had to pay for my services. You paid, and got nothing in return. And yet you still kept coming back.

    I didn't like some of your friends. That DR-DOS guy bugged me, so I went somewhat haywire everytime you invited him around. I didn't want you to see that there were ways to improve me -- I never had any intention of improving.

    Eventually you started noticing that my bits were only half of what the others were offering, so I promised I'd change. That I too would have 32 bits like the others.

    And you believed me like a sucker. At first I claimed to support 32 bits through Win32s, but it was really just some more 16 bit stuff in a 32 bit disguise. I kept changing at random, not for your benifit, but to make sure you couldn't leave me by breaking OS/2's ability to run my software every month or so. Poor OS/2 was running around in circles trying to attract you by keeping up with my useless changes.

    Then suddenly in 1995 I decided to get some cosmetic surgery. You were stunned when you saw me, but really I just showed the cosmetic surgeon some pictures of OS/2 and MacOS and had him take bits and pieces from them and re-shape me to look like their bastard child. I was still ugly underneath, with serious problems. I still couldn't do more than one thing at a time very well, was still unstable, and still got around with all your friends.

    Worse yet, now even if you had wanted to get rid of me, I was going to show up. When you decided to upgrade your old 486 to a shiney new Pentium, I showed up uninvited. When you upgraded that Pentium to a faster model, I once again showed up, even though you already had paid for my services and held a valid license. I kept sucking your wallet dry, and was still mentally unstable.

    Then I became schitzophrenic, and started offering myself in a real 32 bit version without the cosmetic surgury. But you avoided me because I wouldn't play with your old DOS games, and had serious issues that were new and strange to you.

    In 1998, you started to sour. I'd been abusing you for years, but you like the sucker you are continued to stick around. I offered you a way to get onto the Information Superhighway, but ensured you could only do so in my way, when I felt like letting you. Sure OS/2 had been letting people do this for a few years -- I kept you away from the game as long as possible, but in the end, in order to keep you, I finally relented and gave you access to the new highway.

    By 2000, I was able to become cocky, and my schitzophrenia grew worse. You had every right and option to leave me, but I had put blue screens over all your windows so you could

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