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Windows It's funny.  Laugh. Operating Systems Software

Dear Microsoft Windows ... 617

SpaceCanary writes "I recently read this open letter to Windows and I think it's pretty funny. The guy writes a letter to his OS as if he was breaking up with it. It's a bit strange, but finally more people are starting to see the light and moving away from Windows. The writer chronicles his relationship with the versions of Windows and finally is able to move on in the end."
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Dear Microsoft Windows ...

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  • SC? (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:55PM (#10387012)
    SC == SpaceCanary? I think so.

    You found your own letter pretty funny? Thanks for sharing.
  • Well (Score:1, Interesting)

    by sulli ( 195030 ) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:56PM (#10387019) Journal
    More people are moving away from Linux [slashdot.org], too. Will we see their Dear Tux letters?
  • Wait, lemme guess... (Score:2, Interesting)

    by njfuzzy ( 734116 ) <[moc.x-nai] [ta] [nai]> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @03:58PM (#10387064) Homepage
    Slashdotted before the first comment again?

    Here's a crazy idea. Maybe Slashdot itself needs a caching system. If linking to an article, the default could be to make a cache and link to that.

    I know everyone is proud of the Slashdot effect, but shouldn't it be more of an embarrassment than a point of pride?

  • Dear Windows... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by scowling ( 215030 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:00PM (#10387108) Homepage
    You let me run the games I want to play, the industry-standard word processing and publishing software I need to use in my job, and haven't crashed on me in months. While your security is questionable, at least I know that there is some accountability in your design.

    I'll be home by 5.
  • Reminds me... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by SimianOverlord ( 727643 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:01PM (#10387114) Homepage Journal
    Of a readers letter I really enjoyed from The Register UK IT mag. It was an answer to an article about Microsoft saying basically they get too much stick. Managed to track it down via Google: Enjoy, if it's your thing.

    ..

    "Microsoft simply makes some fairly mediocre software and charges a lot for it."

    No.

    Microsoft deliberately designs software that is inherently insecure and refuses to fix the fundamental design flaws no matter how bad the outcome is.

    When Microsoft merged IE and the desktop, almost ten years ago now, I immediately acted to get IE and Outlook banned at work. Why? Because using the same APIs to operate on trusted (local) and untrusted (email, internet) objects makes every program that uses those APIs responsible for determining, independently, whether an object is trusted or not.

    I and every security administrator I knew wrote Microsoft telling them this was a horrible idea. Nothing. They ignored the security community and went on to actually build IE in to the next release of Windows so you couldn't leave it out, as part of their game-plan to try and outflank the DoJ.

    I didn't know what the result would be, but I knew it would be bad. I did what I could to discourage our users from running IE and Outlook, and waited.

    We didn't have long to wait.

    When the Melissa virus showed up, I thought, "OK, this should let them know they've got a problem. They'll pull out IE and settle, and we'll be able to secure Windows again". Boy, was I naive.

    Here we are, it's 2004 instead of 1996, and there are still weekly exploits found in IE, Outlook, Windows Media Player, programs that use the MSHTML control. Get rid of that and you'd cut the virus problem by a factor of 10 or 100. 90-99% of the time spent fighting and cleaning up after viruses should be billed directly to Redmond, and because they did it to illegally avoid complying with the agreement they had with the DoJ, there should be criminal charges on top of that.

    Microsoft doesn't merely charge a lot for mediocre software, they deliberately and knowingly force people to chew up lifetimes fighting a problem that should not exist, and they do it to win a little extra market share for a secondary product that they don't even charge money for.

  • Re:Well (Score:2, Interesting)

    by yagu ( 721525 ) * <{yayagu} {at} {gmail.com}> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:01PM (#10387116) Journal

    More people are moving away? More people are moving away than towards Linux? More people are moving away from Linux than are moving away from Windows? More people are moving away from Linux than moving towards Windows? Sheesh. Your "thesis" needs work. You've basically stated nothing.

    That said, should I see a Dear Tux letter somewhere I'll post it on /..

  • Co-dependency... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by the_rajah ( 749499 ) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:02PM (#10387138) Homepage
    I'm trying hard to break the relatioship off, but here at work there are those pesky old DOS programs that I still need to cross-assemble 8085 code for legacy hardware that still has useable life in it and old DOS based schematic programs that generated the drawings for that hardware back in the 80's. Oh and then there's the in-circuit emulators from the 80's that run with DOS interfaces. {{sigh}} At least I can go home at night to my own computer that runs SeSE 9.1, my new true-love. Shhh, don't say anything to my office Windows machine, though. It hasn't yet figured out that it's been dual booted.

    The author is a lucky guy that he was able to get out of that abusive relationship.

    "Do the Right Thing. It will gratify some people and astound the rest." - Mark Twain
  • Can't get to site (Score:4, Interesting)

    by UrgleHoth ( 50415 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:02PM (#10387143) Homepage
    Seems to be /.ed

    But I'm making the change at home. I have a family, so I have to consider non-geek computer needs. I've ordered the imac G5.

    Now, for the mac users out there, what would you use in place of virtualpc?
  • Dear Slashdot (Score:5, Interesting)

    by NoInfo ( 247461 ) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:03PM (#10387157) Homepage Journal
    In retrospect, this letter should be of no surprise to you. For years now I have stood by you despite the terrible things you have said about Microsoft. We have always managed to work through our serious problems but too many things have been swept under the table. I do not think I can stand (idly) by you any longer.

    What's that? No, another DOOM3 review will not help, not this time.

    I remember when we met, a warm April day, in 1999. For years I had been hearing about you, about your terrible green HTML of death, Open Source advocation, poor social skills, web server obliteration, and problems raising money... I had seen you here and there, but it was not until that fateful day, April 6, that our relationship became serious. I was almost knocked off my feet when I first saw you. Right then I knew it, you had to be mine. Who else could offer me what you could? I wanted, no, I needed, your Cowboy Neal polls, your Insightful comments, your great techno music [mattie.net]...

    As time progressed so did my needs. Our affair took its next serious step on August 24, 2001. At the time I thought our happiness would never end. You brought me places I never thought possible. How could I refuse your IOCCC results or your Napster articles? I mean, you gave up your best friend, financial independence, so our relationship could progress unhindered with OSDN. It hurts me to look back at us, two starry-eyed lovers wanting nothing more than each other's first posts.

    Well, like I wrote, I have reached my limit. Its going to take more than mod points to fix our relationship. I just don't feel like I know you anymore. For example, do you know what I found on the site a few days ago? A dupe! I wonder who let that in...

    Slashdot, I know you will try to change, but I have been hurt too many times. You should know that I have been seeing someone else for a few months now. She is fun [moveon.org], easy going, and will do something for me that you never even considered, oust the president.

    I don't know what else to say- we had a good run, but now its over. Pack up your Beowulf cluster, your SCO stories, hell, take slashcode if you have to. I am sure we'll see each other from time to time but I know one thing, I'll never again have to depend on you.

    Yours no longer,
    N I

  • Re:/.ed (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Kethinov ( 636034 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:08PM (#10387226) Homepage Journal
  • Moving to Apple ! (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:12PM (#10387295)
    Check out the amazon computer top sellers [amazon.com] - 8 out of the top 10 are Macs. I was pretty surprised to see this a few days ago, and it's been like this since then. The new iMac is a hit, and that's no surprise - look at what the x86 competition is offering - an iMac look alike [amazon.com], priced about the same. Seems nice from this angle, but then look at it from the side [amazon.com]. Bulk.
  • Ugh (Score:2, Interesting)

    by mlylecarlin ( 552855 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:13PM (#10387313)
    Dear Linus, Bob Young, Michael Cowpland, Patrick Volkerding (god it's like kissinger said about europe, I don't know who else to add)... *et all*,

    DVD ripping is too hard under linux. Make me some useable software and I will **** you instead of ****ing Bill Gates.

    Thank you,
    mlylecarlin
  • This is stupid... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by phaetonic ( 621542 ) * on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:14PM (#10387322)
    I work with UNIX full-time at work, specifically Solaris and HP-UX. I have been "driven up the wall" by the various errors Solaris and HP-UX have caused me, which includes not sleeping all night to fix a problem that I felt was a UNIX-only issue. I've also had problems with Windows, but I usually delegate the task of fixing Windows boxes to someone else. My poiint is every OS when used extensively can and will give you some pain. Sometimes I feel like the whole Windows vs. Linux thing is like the republicans versus the democrats.

    Just a rant with karma to burn..
  • by m_dob ( 639585 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:15PM (#10387337) Homepage
    Yup, after 10 years of puppy-like devotion to Microsoft, I've decided that Macs live up to their promises so much better than Windows PCs do. They have a modern, powerful operating system. I just don't get the same feeling using PCs.

    I have always looked out for quality - using Firefox at the moment, and it's come to the point where the Mac is the only quality package out there. I don't want to have to wait 3 years for another buggy OS.

    Sorry Microsoft. We had some good times.
  • Re:Well (Score:3, Interesting)

    by yagu ( 721525 ) <{yayagu} {at} {gmail.com}> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:19PM (#10387393) Journal

    Funny.

    I studied over the weekend, so I'm ready for my test.

    Yes, a statement of fact does not and never will consist of a thesis. But the OP IMO isn't stating any fact. It seems to be a non sequitur since it doesn't qualify (let alone quantify). More people are moving away from linux doesn't sound like a fact to me -- it's too indefinite.

    Gotta go, gotta get ready for my PSAT.

  • Re:Wow... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by j3110 ( 193209 ) <samterrellNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:20PM (#10387400) Homepage
    The only thing I miss from VMS was the versioning filesystem that wasn't case sensitive. I use Linux now, and get angry every time I have to hit the shift key. Anyone storing xxx.jpg in the same directory with XXX.jpg needs to be shot. No one uses case sensitivity, because it's stupid. I also miss the versioning. I could just open xxx.jpg;2 for an older version. Now you pretty much need CVS and a decent CVS browser to get anything close to that kind of functionality.

    Why is there not one single case-insensitive filesystem for Linux? (FAT doesn't count, it's not a filesystem so much as a waste bin.)
  • Re:Co-dependency... (Score:3, Interesting)

    by yamla ( 136560 ) <chris@@@hypocrite...org> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:22PM (#10387420)
    Have you looked at dosbox or dosemu under Linux? I've had better luck with them than trying to run DOS programs in more recent versions of Windows. YMMV, of course.
  • by Spydr ( 90990 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:22PM (#10387422) Homepage
    i don't think it's really a matter of people finally getting enough of windows... it's more like people finally have other viable options.

    i wouldn't have touched a mac even 2 years ago, but these days they are pretty damn slick.

    linux is also just getting to the point where 'normal' users can use it withough being complete overwhelmed (or even underwhelmed in some cases).

    good riddance, windows.
  • Re:Dear Internet, (Score:4, Interesting)

    by Txiasaeia ( 581598 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:38PM (#10387586)
    I'm using Windows XP by choice. Monopoly or not, Microsoft knows how to build a solid OS. I've used various distros of Linux and it's okay, but I keep on coming back to Microsoft because it's simply easy to use, looks good, and doesn't take too long to load up. That and games ;) Just thought you'd like to know that some of us use Windows XP by choice and not by default.

    Now internet explorer, on the other hand, I wouldn't touch with a 10 pica pole. I switched to Opera a few years ago and have been *much* happier.

  • Re:Dear Windows... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by rco3 ( 198978 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:46PM (#10387704) Homepage
    "when everyone I exchange files with uses Windows, I need to use Windows, too"

    This is demonstrably untrue. Several Windows computers in my office print through my Samba shares. I exchange Word and OpenOffice files with people running Windows, OSX, and Linux daily.

    Were you using Office on OSX, those files would interchange easily between OSX and Windows. Similarly, were you using OpenOffice, you could exchange files between Windows, OSX, Linux, xBSD, Solaris, etc. Photoshop files created on a Mac open just fine on a Windows PC. Jpegs are jpegs, ditto pngs, GIFs, etc. PDF works great in the rest of the computing world.

    If the boss says "Use Windows," you use Windows. Reason goes out the [ahem] window. But you, personally, present reasons which simply aren't correct.

    Am I saying you should use Linux? No. What I'm saying is that all the reasons you keep reciting why you CAN'T are wrong.
  • Re: XP by choice (Score:3, Interesting)

    by jdray ( 645332 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:50PM (#10387747) Homepage Journal
    Ever use OS X? It seems to fit all your requirements.
  • by jcoder ( 253860 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @04:59PM (#10387845)
    Microsoft was consumed by a rush to market. They did not 'deliberately' design software that is insecure. What they did do, is design software with very little thought about security (or stability). Getting their product to market, addicting the public on their products, and increasing their stock was the number one priority. Unlike other companies (like Apple), they chose the path of getting as many copies of their software into the consumer market as fast as possible, instead of making really good and stable products. While many of us don't like what they did, they did 'succeed'. They have an incredibly dominant market and the corporate and consumer world is basically addicted to them.

    The bottom line is that they achieved their goals. They got rich. They have convinced the corporate and consumer world (in general) that there simply in no viable alternative to MS Office or the MS OS's.

    It's a dilemma... what would you do given the chance? Take the high road and only produce quality software that takes a lot of time and effort (and possible fail as a company)-- or grab the opportunity when you can to make a ton of cash and get huge?

    I don't like what MS did, but I understand it.
  • Re:Reminds me... (Score:5, Interesting)

    by mkro ( 644055 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:08PM (#10387947)
    When Microsoft merged IE and the desktop, almost ten years ago now, I immediately acted to get IE and Outlook banned at work. Why? Because using the same APIs to operate on trusted (local) and untrusted (email, internet) objects makes every program that uses those APIs responsible for determining, independently, whether an object is trusted or not.
    Isn't this the exact same thing KDE is going through now? Konqueror is a file- and webbrowser, and functions within each KDE program can be accessed using DCOP. E.g. Kopete reports an IM contact's online presence to KAdressbook, right-click a file in Konqueror and you can send it to everyone present in Kopete, etc, etc. Do anyone know if the KDE developers has taken special considerations to avoid doing the same mistakes MS did?
  • Re:Reminds me... (Score:4, Interesting)

    by J. T. MacLeod ( 111094 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @05:56PM (#10388558)
    There is *potential* for great security risks when you do something like this, but there are different ways to do it, some more secure than others (sandboxing, for example).

    The KDE developers have chosen a much better security model for integration. Microsoft did, in fact, implement some basic security measures, but they just left holes a mile wide, that's all.
  • Windows whoring (Score:2, Interesting)

    by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @06:39PM (#10388939)
    For now I'm off to that flashy babe Windows. She might be an expensive, unreliable whore, but she looks stunning and good in bed. (...) Though I'll be back when she breaks my heart.
    You probably won't be back anywhere, ever.
    She's known to have had some 500 million guys, who've given her every virus or worm there is, and by the time you realize what a contagious beast she was, you'll have contracted so much more than both of you wished to share.
    Sure, there are rumors about that new miracle drug, SP3, that's supposed to save a lucky few of the people who were in bed with her, some day, but everyone says it won't be around in a while (quite possibly too late for you), and nothing ever brought relief for more than a few weeks anyway...
  • by stinky wizzleteats ( 552063 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @07:00PM (#10389097) Homepage Journal
    I've always hated you. There, I said it. I mean, sure, there was that childlike wonder in the 3.0 days when I was all "ooo... icons", but even then, you were fat, clumsy, and held me back from truly enjoying what I was really after.

    The computer - that sweet hotness that took my breath away from the very beginning when I first saw my friend's TI99-4A. O how I pine for the days of the bliss of programming in basic! And then came DOS, and GAMES! We had some wild nights back in the day.

    But you were always there, the computer's ugly friend who I had to accomodate and pretend to like. The only time I really ever began to think of you as anything more than an obstacle to my happiness is when I stopped using BBS services and discovered the Internet. But for that, I needed winsock and Netscape 1.0. You did the job poorly, but what choice did I have? You became not only my seetheart's ugly sister, but the ugly sister who had a car. If I wanted to see Dupree's Iguana cam, I had to hitch a ride from you. And so it went.

    Then came Windows95. You went from fat, annoying, and in the way to outright mean. You deliberately made my life difficult with your constant registry needs and inexplicable crashes. You harassed my customers and friends, and sucked away years of my life toiling in utter futility to find some way to get along with you without the situation becoming abusive. I knew there were places I could go to escape what was clearly an unhealthy relationship, like Linux, but I felt trapped. I had become so numb to the constant cycle of learning and relearning what would ultimately be useless information about how you went about your business and how best to work with you, wading through so much heartache and lies, that I let myself think that everyone was like you. I thought that getting to know someone like Linux would be just as futile as it was to live with you, and so I never sought escape. I thought it would be so hard to start new with someone else, and so I never did.

    98 came and went, as did 99, the year we all focused on WindowsME (selfish bitch). By 2000, I had forgotten why I started doing any of this in the first place. The wonder at the freedom to sit down in front of my C64 and create my own world was lost in a cacophony of blue screens, conflicting dlls, and product license key dialog boxes. I thought of ending it all. I thought of choosing another career, maybe working on cars for a living, because I just couldn't take it anymore.

    Then, off in the distance, I saw Linux again. She had changed since I'd seen her last. She was so much more open and welcoming. She didn't have your sophistication and clout, at least in those days, but there was a certain spark about her. There was something that seemed like being in front of that TI all over again - something wonderful, inspiring, and exciting. It started as a tryst on my home machine. A friend introduced us and I took her for a spin. She was intelligent, sleek, and seemed to do everything right. She never manipulated me for some other purpose; never lied to me. I forgot what it was like to deal with someone who was more concerned about my needs than the next big deal.

    I felt young again. She rekindled my early love and I faced the day anew, energized by the freedom and power of our new relationship. I didn't realize it at the time, but we were definately going places together. She would see me through some troubled times in the years to come. With her support, I've been able to do things I'd never dreamed of when I was slumming around with you.

    I just want you to know that I regret every moment of our time together, and I will never go back.
  • Thick as a brick? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by leonbrooks ( 8043 ) <SentByMSBlast-No ... .brooks.fdns.net> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @08:17PM (#10389725) Homepage
    Hmm. I have a customer whose machine lasts about 43 minutes [epinions.com] at a time under MS-Windows XP but runs flawlessly under Mandrake Linux 10.0 (he dual-boots, Mdk-Linux for real work and MS-Windows for MS-centric stuff). Does that count towards your theory? (-:
  • Your .sig (Score:3, Interesting)

    by rjamestaylor ( 117847 ) <rjamestaylor@gmail.com> on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @08:43PM (#10389859) Journal
    • I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought...Albert Einstien

    AE expected the weapons to change, but not the way of warfare. In fact we are in the midst of World War III right now. And the weapons have actually become more crude than they were during World War II and the extension called the Cold War. The weapons of World War III are:

    • Passenger planes
    • Human bombs -- young men and women
    • Grainy videos of beheadings of innocents
    • Bomb-ladden school gyms
    • Box cutters and shoe bombs
    • etc.

    I hadn't considered this until reading your .sig. Now that the super-weapons have made state-to-state warefare unwinnable by any rouge state the way of warring has changed.

  • by NullProg ( 70833 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @09:33PM (#10390211) Homepage Journal
    No, I haven't read the article. Sounds like a rant though. I've done three Linux installs this week. Two SuSE 9.1, and one Gentoo.

    One USB scanner problem (SuSE 9.1). All Dual-Boot except for the Gentoo one (He has so many trojans/viri XP is useless on his six month old Dell Laptop). All are using KDE 3x.

    So far, everyone is happy/content. Linux not ready for the desktop my ass.

    Enjoy,
  • Re: XP by choice (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Squozen ( 301710 ) on Wednesday September 29, 2004 @10:35PM (#10390621) Homepage
    Maybe you've had your head in the sand (or elsewhere) during the last couple of years, but the majority of the best PC games come out for the Mac these days. I stopped using my PC completely about 6 months ago when I quit EverQuest and switched across to my PowerBook which is coping just fine, thanks for asking.

    I finally got around to buying Warcraft 3 the other day, so I could get more of a feel for the WC world before World of Warcraft goes into open beta. To tide me over I'll be buying KotOR and Homeworld 2 this month, don't tell the missus... oh, and the Call of Duty expansion is due in November.

    To repeat: Plenty of games for the Mac, please return to your spyware scanning.

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