Self-Adapting Traffic Lights 615
Roland Piquepaille writes "If you're like me, I bet you hate moments when you're in a hurry and all the traffic lights seem to intentionally switch to red just in front of your car. Now, according to Nature, a Belgian traffic researcher thinks that traffic lights that respond to local conditions could ease congestion and reduce your frustration. His method would not give you the individual power to switch the light to green. But if you were part of a group of cars approaching a red light, inexpensive traffic-flow sensors would detect your group in advance and turn the light to green. His simulations show that such adaptive traffic control is 30% more efficient than traditional ways of regulating traffic. However, his system has not been adopted by any large city. So you'll continue to be frustrated by these ?%&$! traffic lights for a while. You'll find more details and references in this overview."
Re:an added bonus (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Traffic Calming (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Traffic light true story. (Score:5, Funny)
I have a better idea. They could put cameras in intersections, like the ones that take a picture when you run a red light and you get a ticket in the mail. Ok, they put these cameras, except that not only do they take pictures of actual red light violators, they also take pictures of cars going through the intersection at random times when the light is green and it is perfectly legal to enter. Then, the image is sent to computers, where it is processed to remove other vehicle traffic, to change the lights from green to red, etc.
Then, you drive to work, minding your own business, and you don't run any red lights. In fact, you are the best driver in the world. You don't break a single law. And then you get a ticket in the mail with photographic evidence that YOU ran a red light, even though it never happened. The court will have some internal rule that all such tickets are considered an automatic conviction, and there is no way to appeal. That will enhance revenue.
I have an additional idea. In France they started blanking out the passenger side of the cars in these pictures, because too many Frenchmen got caught with another woman in the cars by their wives opening the traffic ticket that came in the mail. So the automatic image manipulation software that performs the above incrimination would go a step further and put a prostitute in the passenger seat. If you're driving in the evening, say, home from work, special studs in the road can come up and puncture your tires right after the picture of your car is taken. Then, conveniently, there will be a towtruck nearby who offers to take you to the nearest tire shop. The tow truck company and the tire shop will be in some secret business agreement with the city. The studs in the street will be embedded in such a way, and they will puncture the tires and retreat back into the street so fast, so as to be undetected. The tow truck driver will take his sweet time hauling the car to the tire shop, and once there, they will take their sweet time putting new tires on the car. In the meantime, some woman walks into the waiting room where you're waiting, and she comes up and without your permission grabs your head and kisses you right on the face, a wet, nasty kiss. Her tongue practically goes down your throat and out of your ear, like when Madonna kissed Britney Spears. In the meantime, cameras film all of this. Then this woman just gets up and goes away. By the time they finish putting tires on the car, it will be quite late at night. You return home and your wife wonders why you're so late. You tell her that you had a flat tire. The receipt from the tire place has the date and time, and little do you notice, because who checks, that the time is five o'clock, not, like, 10:00 when they actually finish and charge you. Your wife thinks it's kind of funny that it took so long to change a tire. (Also, they hid dirty panties under the passenger seat in your car.) Next thing you know, a traffic ticket comes in the mail during the day when you're at work. Your wife opens it and sees a prostitute in the car with you on the day you came home late. She says what the hell is this, and you explain that there's no way this could be, because this never happened. Your wife is skeptical and starts crying. The next day, a package arrives in the mail. It is a video tape. There is a note that says, "I didn't want to be the one to tell you this but you have a right to know." Your wife puts it in the VCR and it's the video of you macking with some hot woman (the video from the tire shop). Now she's really pissed off. She wants a divorce. Little did you know that the divorce lawyers also had secret business negotiations with the city.
Now that is what I call revenue enhancement in the truest government style. Not only does the government take away your money, but it deliberately fucks up your life as well.
Government. Where do you want to go today?
The Code? (Score:3, Funny)
if(green.dir(1)) {
if(time.dir(1) < LIMIT) {
light.green(1);
light.red(2);
}
else if(green.dir(1) != true) {
if(time.dir(2) < LIMIT - (cars.dir(1) - cars.dir(2)) {
light.green(1);
light.red(2);
}
}
Yeah, I know, it's incomplete and ugly but I just wanted to show a general picture. Yeah, this would work for small traffic situations, but, honestly, this could cause a lot of problems (bugs, etc.). Perhaps very limited "learning" traffic lights would be good, but totally self-adapting could cause lots of problems.
- dshaw
Note About the Code: Yeah, i did that in the little Slashdot comment box. It's ugly, unindented, and probably has nonsensical if/then cycles. Please let it be, since it's hypothetical anyway.
Re:Traffic light true story. (Score:3, Funny)
Funny story about my european friends (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Weight Sensors (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Funny story about my european friends (Score:4, Funny)
Nah, the drive-through sensors are all the metal-detector coils. The only pedestrian that could trigger them would be Stephen Hawking.
Re:The Code? (Score:2, Funny)
You should probably stop here, you don't know what the code looks like, and hypothesis will probably be nonsensical, and stupid. Also, is that a rhetorical question?
> if(cars.dir(1) > cars.dir(2)) {
Despite may advice you insist on giving us your "unique" perspective on what the code probably doesn't look like anyway. As suspected your code is nonsensical, incoherent, and uses an unclear argument value style, you decided not to share with use.
> Yeah, I know, it's incomplete and ugly but I just wanted to show a general picture.
You missed out a lot of other negative things too, but we did get a picture of what you think code might possible slightly resemble, in a vague, overly general sort of way. We've also determined that you're probably stuck on the first chapter of your "learn pseudo-programming for dummies in 24 hours" book.
> - dshaw
Thanks for adding that, I missed it the first time.
> Note About the Code: Yeah, i did that in the little Slashdot comment box. It's ugly, unindented, and probably has nonsensical
Yeah, we'd already formed that opinion from the code, and then from the subsequent paragraph telling us the code sucked. Despite that, we really appreciate you hammering it home a third time, much like we appreciate being attacked by a frenzied axe wielding person.
Re:Traffic light true story. (Score:2, Funny)
Why the FUCK would you SUE before you fucking ASK them to correct what's OBVIOUSLY a fucking MISTAKE?
Jeezus CHRIST you yanks are sue-happy.
(No, I'm not a troll, look at my posting history.)
-Rob
Size differences (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Weight Sensors (Score:2, Funny)
Now THAT is so new.... (Score:3, Funny)
News for Nerds, stuff that ages for the others
Re:Traffic light true story. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Weight Sensors (Score:3, Funny)
I'll try smoking the my car's tires in your honor next time the lights don't change fast enough for me, though. It might just be one tire, depending on which car I'm driving...