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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards 406

Posted by michael
from the real-soon-now dept.
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:43PM (#11289749)
    Seriously. Does anybody actually use the beta/alpha version of it for anything? RMS has been promising it for such a long time.. especially after Linux took the GNU team by surprise.
    • Yes. A friend had a fileserver running on it. More importantly, it is definitely non-vapor, in that the code is there and does work.
    • by mcc (14761) <amcclure@purdue.edu> on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:36PM (#11290243) Homepage
      is the second coming of Jesus Christ.

      1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.

      What the fuck?
      • by jdavidb (449077) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:55PM (#11290422) Homepage Journal

        While popular religion often presents the idea that early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.

        Jesus did state that the kingdom of heaven would come "in this generation" (his generation, not ours) (Mark 9:1, Matthew 24:34), but He also taught that the kingdom was not of this world (John 18:36) and was "within you" (Luke 17:20-21). Since the Bible later identifies the kingdom as the church, refers to Christians already being a part of the kingdom in the past tense rather than future (Colossians 1:13), describes Christ as presently serving as King rather than serving as King in the future (Acts 2:33, Hebrews 12:2), and describes Christ as returning the Kingdom to the Father at His second coming rather than establishing the Kingdom at that time (I Corinthians 15:24), it seems that the prophecy of Christ of the coming of the kingdom referred to the establishment of the church, rather than to His coming at the end of time.

        Finally, both Christ (Mark 13:32) and His apostles (I Thessalonians 5:2) stated that noone knew the time of His coming and that it would be without warning, like a thief in the night. Thus, while I and II Thessalonians indicate that many early Christians may have misunderstood, a properly educated 1st century C.E. Christian holding to the doctrine of the second coming as taught by Christ and His apostles would have recognized that the day might or might not come in the immediate future.

        That said, you did get a laugh out of me. ;) Hope you found the Bible info informative and that addressing a serious response to a joke doesn't bug you. (That's how I learned everything in high school physics; the teacher addressed serious responses to my jokes.)

        • by Citizen of Earth (569446) on Friday January 07, 2005 @04:17PM (#11290630)
          early Christians all believed the coming of Christ would be immediate, this is actually explicitly refuted in the Bible in II Thessalonians 2:1-3.

          Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).
        • a properly educated 1st century C.E. Christian
          That was at least a hundred years before a committee decided that Mary was a virgin and brought the cult of Isis wholesale into the Christian church. We really don't know much about what the early church thought in those early years when Roman, Jewish and Greek traditions were all being mixed together. It would be interesting to see where the Coptic and Chaldean New Testiment differs to our Roman version.
      • Some years ago, I read a sci fi story whose plot was basically that Jesus did return within a century, and many more times in the following centuries. Every time, the same thing happened: He was killed. Finally, he gave up, and went on to other planets that were in need of his help.

        The story was told from the viewpoint of a ship full of human space explorers, who kept coming across planets that were paradises, and the inhabitants attributed this to a holy man in the recent past who had taught them how t
    • by uebermts (323725) on Friday January 07, 2005 @04:46PM (#11290940)
      Well, HURD is about to reach V1.0 ... in the meantime, Linus wrote some other OS:

      ===
      From: torva...@klaava.Helsinki.FI (Linus Benedict Torvalds)
      Date: 5 Oct 91 05:41:06 GMT
      Subject: Free minix-like kernel sources for 386-AT

      [...]
      I can (well, almost) hear you asking yourselves "why?". Hurd will be
      out in a year (or two, or next month, who knows), and I've already got
      minix.
      [...]
      ===

      http://groups-beta.google.com/group/comp.os.mini x/ msg/2194d253268b0a1b
  • Where? (Score:5, Funny)

    by AtariAmarok (451306) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:44PM (#11289756)
    Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....
    • Re:Where? (Score:5, Interesting)

      by crow (16139) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:47PM (#11289795) Homepage Journal
      Oh, boy, did I ever want one of those.

      If you look very closely at some of the photos in Creative Computing or Compute! you'll see that the alleged 1450XLD had a nameplate on it calling it a 1250XLD. My guess is that there was another earlier project that was canceled, and since they didn't have any of the new ones ready, they used photos of the old one.

      Apparently there were a few 1400XLs that got out, but there's as rare as an 815.
  • Sarge (Score:4, Funny)

    by gihan_ripper (785510) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:46PM (#11289775) Homepage

    Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.

    (But I still want it now!)

    • Re:Sarge (Score:3, Informative)

      by baryon351 (626717)
      Technically as another poster replied, it is out now.

      I do consider it 'released' as it was released the day it was created. It's been there for download & use for years.

      While it's labelled "testing", and woody is the current "stable" in reality I find very little difference between the two. Both have been rock solid for me, although Sarge has had issues of the kind where a config file changes and there's unexpected behaviour, or a package will be updated from version 1.0 to 1.2 and change its behavio
    • You may have it now. I've had it for weeks. The installation CDs are on the site, and you can point your apt-list at the "sarge" subtree, and have it on your system.

      Of course, what you probably meant was that you want it to be finished with potential breakage from updates. I want that, too.

      -- A.
  • by Logic Bomb (122875) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:48PM (#11289802)
    I think it's fair for Apple to be on the list with the 3 Ghz claim, though they should have shared the honor with IBM. After all, Apple was just going off whatever they were told by IBM's R&D folks.
    • Are you sure that someone at IBM told Apple that?

      They probably said something like "We could scale this chip up to 3GH by the end of the year if needed." Which ment something like "If you build a new fab, and invested BILLIONS of dollars we could probably get this thing up to 3Ghz."

      At least we have a G5 laptop though :-)

      • by akac (571059) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:41PM (#11290283) Homepage
        That's exactly what they did. IBM built a brand new fab specifically to build very fast 970s and other 13 nm and smaller chips.

        That was the whole point.
      • They probably said something like "We could scale this chip up to 3GH by the end of the year if needed." Which ment something like "If you build a new fab, and invested BILLIONS of dollars we could probably get this thing up to 3Ghz."

        Scaling up an existing processor doesn't always mean building a new fab. Most of the time, an existing fab is modified. Even then, the modifications might be minor: new masks, new steps, etc.

        Increasing the numbers of chips usually invovles a new fab. Sometimes chip comp

    • Steve was so unlucky on that one. The one product he pre-announces turns out to be vaporware.
    • by acomj (20611)
      In the july Macworld, steve jobs showed everyone the slide from a year ago promissing 3 ghz. He said IBM was having trouble creating faster chips, but they were getting faster, just they were behind schedule.

      Then he some convoluted explaination that they were getting faster at a faster rate %wise than intel which was a confusing statement since both chip makers increased speed by the same # of mhz..

      Oh well..
    • They claimed no processor company hit their promised speed. Ours did.

      We promised a 2GHz MIPS chip, and we not only hit it, we passed it almost immediately with a 2.5GHz MIPS. With a fast math processor built in.

      Unfortunately, the market didn't care. 8^(

      But we made our promised speed *and* release date.

      So Intel, Apple, and Wired can all kiss my giga til it hertz!
  • by shawn(at)fsu (447153) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:50PM (#11289821) Homepage
    #10 lists the product from Alienware that was supposed to be delivered in Q4 2004 (If I read it right). My question is this: How long must something be delayed to be considered vaporware? Obviously products like Duke Nukem and the Phantom qualify but what is the minimum amount of time needed?

    Even if I was mistaken on #10 I still would like to hear what you all think.
    • As I've always understood it, "Vaporware" refers to products that do not exist, and are thus all "vapor" and hype. Once you show a demo or have a working model that does what you claimed it would do from the outset, it ought not be called Vaporware, even if it has been delayed.

      DNF is a great example, since after a decade we havn't even seen a working demo, a gameplay video, or even any (recent) screenshots. I think labeling products as "vaporware" when they are just late is a bit unfair. Many product

    • Other than Longhorn and Valve's new TF game, all these products at some point were supposedly going to be on shelves in 2004. I wouldn't say this list is a "Most Vaporous of All-Time" thing. Just the biggest entries promised in 2004 that never materialized.
    • by iabervon (1971) on Friday January 07, 2005 @05:09PM (#11291165) Homepage Journal
      That's not as bad as TiVoToGo being #4, despite having already been released only a few days outside the specified window. And the X800 got #5 despite being scheduled to be in transit at press time and having previously available to reviewers.
  • Wow another Wired news!! Wow they got that free subscription going to use eh!!
  • by Ssbe (614884) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:51PM (#11289831)
    10. Alienware's Video Array
    9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
    8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
    7. Team Fortress 2: Brotherhood of Arms
    6. Gran Turismo 4
    5. ATI's Radeon X800 series of video cards
    4. TiVoToGo
    3. Microsoft's Longhorn
    2. CherryOS
    1. Phantom Game Console
    • Longhorn (Score:3, Interesting)

      by mislinux (828556)
      I went to the movie theater to watch the 2nd Matrix movie the day it came out (so that tells you about the time it was) and there was a guy running Longhorn on his laptop. Me and an ECE friend of mine went over to ask him about it. He was raving how great it was and blah blah blah. My friend asked him, "So what's different about it, beside the GUI?" And this guy was like, "Um...it is just neat, and you don't have it." Cause it was without the new file system (which won't be on longhorn anyway) and without
  • Bah! (Score:5, Funny)

    by OECD (639690) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:52PM (#11289836) Journal

    They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!

  • by Anonymous Coward
    And this years price for the "Worst Article and Poor journalism" -award goes to... Wired!

    Also special commendation on "How to build a website almost rivaling Geocities in how horrible it looks like" -award goes to Wired!
  • by revery (456516) <charles@cac 2 . n et> on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:53PM (#11289848) Homepage
    Apparently your product is now vaporware if it slips a quarter. I think by that definition every computer game I've ever played has at some point been vaporware...

    --
    Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
    or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
    • Yeah, I agree. Maybe they are hurting for things to call vaporware though. I mean they say that TiVoToGo was released on January 3rd, so they called it vaporware for 2004. 3 days late...

      I always thought that vaporware implied that the product either didn't exist, or wasn't even close to shipping. So taking a product from non-existent to shipping in 3 days is quite a feat.

      Then again (and it surprised me to see a definition for this already) Merriam-Webster defines vaporware as a new computer-rel [m-w.com]
    • Apparently. Especially since two of the items on their list are on the market right now - GT4 just came out in Japan, and TivoToGo has been out since the beginning of this week.
  • by gmuslera (3436) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:54PM (#11289852) Homepage Journal
    This year they should give that award to Microsoft. 3DRealms are there just because Duke Nukem Forever, a single vaporware product, but Microsoft still making big merits since more than a decade ago (the WinFS in particular have a history that goes back to '94 and maybe earlier) and with most of the "big" announced features.

    Also could be fit in the "vaporware" realm some of their claims, i.e. the "safe" feature is strongly attached to any of their products, be windows 95, internet explorer from the firsts versions, office, servers, etc).

    • by Timesprout (579035) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:10PM (#11290024)
      Actually using this logic Desktop Linux wins hands down. Every year its arrival is trumpeted yet we still wait.
      • Actually using this logic Desktop Linux wins hands down. Every year its arrival is trumpeted yet we still wait.

        There's a difference, though. The Year Of Linux On The Desktop(tm) is something that users and pundits keep predicting, not something any one company, or even any group of companies, is promising. In fact, there are a number of distros which meet the requirements for a usable desktop OS, and this has been the case for a couple of years now; if these fail to live up to people's inflated expecta
    • What makes 3DRealms special is that they have tantalized all of us with something we actually wanted, there was market demand, unlike Microsoft's vaporous offerings which usually no one is asking for and no one cares about.
  • by Anonymous Coward
    WAAAA! Your promised me I could buy $piece_of_crap by Q4 2004. Its already January 7th of 2005! Oh, the humanity!
    IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT! !IWANIT!!IW ANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!!IWANIT!! /spoiled brat mode

    who cares...
  • Where is the award for a default secure windows?

  • by antifoidulus (807088) on Friday January 07, 2005 @02:59PM (#11289903) Homepage Journal
    for not meeting their projected processor speed targets. Granted, they were over-hyped but the real reason they did not meet the targets is because both Intel and IBM ran into a lot of unforseen roadblocks when they went to 90 nm technology. I would hardly call that "vaporware".
    Unlike Duke Nukem Forever, they were both going into uncharted waters, and it's really no surprise that they didn't make it to their destination as fast as they had wanted to....
  • David Braben and Frontier Development Inc., have been dangling this tasty morsel before us poor space sim fans for some years now.

    What is it about the unlucky version 4? Duke Nukem 4ever -- Elite 4(ever)? Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.

    • Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.

      A Japanese word for "four" is shi, which sounds like the word for "death". Japanese fear of four [tripod.com] seems to parallel American fear of thirteen, where American casinos often do not offer any gambling on the unpopular thirteenth floor of a building.

    • What is it about the unlucky version 4? Duke Nukem 4ever -- Elite 4(ever)? Maybe version 4 should be skipped entirely by software developers.

      Microsoft did. Windows 3.11 to Windows '95, anyone?

    • Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)

      by sootman (158191) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:33PM (#11290216) Homepage Journal
      Skipping 4 might not be enough--Windows went from 3 to 95, just to be extra-extra safe, and look where it got them. They didn't make any real progress until they skipped 99 through 1999.

      After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
      • Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)

        by panaceaa (205396) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:56PM (#11290431) Homepage Journal
        No no, you have it all wrong. In 2003 they jumped to a base-1305 system. XP actually stands for 31338. Yes, that's right: it's beyond elite.
      • Re:Elite 4 (Score:3, Informative)

        by TheRaven64 (641858)
        MS went through a whole phase of skipping version 4 products. They went from Windows 3 to 3.1, to 3.11, to 95. They went from DirectX 3, to 3a, to 5 (maybe via 3b). MS Word jumped straight from version 2 to version 6. Interestingly (or not) Psion did the same thing, releasing a Series 3, a 3s, a 3a, a 3c, a 3mx and a Series 5.

        In Microsoft's case, I suspect it was just a bad association with the number 4 from the old DOS days (remember DOS 4? Remember being told to stick with 3.x and wait for 5.x?),

    • Re:Elite 4 (Score:4, Informative)

      by jd (1658) <<moc.oohay> <ta> <kapimi>> on Friday January 07, 2005 @05:26PM (#11291337) Homepage Journal
      The original Elite was a work of sheer genius, combining unique elements, an unheard-of split-resolution mechanism, a staggering level of complexity and microscopic binaries by today's standards.


      Virus and Virus 2000 showed a lot of the phenominal mind of David Braben, with impressive graphics and a complex realistic flying system.


      In addition to that, he's one of the VERY few coder/designer/CEOs who ALSO are willing to spend the time answering people's questions on USENET. He also ran a survey to see if there was interest in a Linux version of Elite, at the request of fans. That kind of response is rare, but very much appreciated.


      Unfortunately, Braben's promises of Elite 4, the debacles over Frontier and FFE, the failure to market Virus 2000 in the US, allegations that he was involved in the killing-off of the clone "Elite: The New Kind", alleged harassment of Ian Bell over his Elite website, etc, suggest that there is a less welcome side to his character.


      Most of these are beyond fixing today. Elite 4 is not. But people won't remember the Elite series forever. There's only so big a timeframe to operate in. If he needs help, ideas, support, whatever - that's fine, we can all understand that, but he's not going to get any of those if he doesn't ask, and he might well not get as good as is there, if he's seen as secretive and hostile.


      Elite 4 is vaporware, right now, and one of the worst examples of it. If it's done right, though, AND released, it could be a serious killer app in the games market. Even if it's "perfect" and the ultimate product ever written, nobody is going to care if they can't ever see it.

  • ...is to be showcased at MacWorld San Francisco next week, at ATI's own booth [macworldexpo.com] (#2217). Personally I'm more anxious to see it that all the alleged "headless eMacs" and "80G iPods". I'm not sure if you can call it vaporware, it was rather a product that missed its deadline for a couple of weeks (and since it was mid-December, availability was delayed to early January).

  • DN4 would be nice, but I'm still waiting for a *working* copy of BattleCruiser 3000 AD.
    Working being the operative word here.
  • Alienware CPU with Intel Pentium 4 4GHz, 2 ATI X800 video cards with Alienware Video Array enabled, running Microsoft Longhorn bundled with Duke Nukem Forever & Cherry OS (Capable of emulating Power PC G5 3GHz) will be available shortly* in computer stores near you...

    *) Time is relative

    P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.
  • Vaporware? (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Titusdot Groan (468949) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:14PM (#11290044) Journal
    Alienware slips by a quarter? Apple and Intel under deliver by a few hundred Mhz?

    They were *really* stretching to get this list to 10 ... I guess things are pretty good in the world of vaporware given the bottom 3.

    • Apple and Intel under deliver by a few hundred Mhz?

      It's not the failure to delivery by 500 Mhz -- or, in other words, make a product more than 20% faster than their current high-end -- it's the grandiose promise in conjunction wtih the sheepish failure to deliver that makes Apple in particular deserve that vapor award.

  • by bstadil (7110) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:14PM (#11290046) Homepage
    Apparently a working? unit is being presented at the CES going on in Las Vegas right now

    Link to Story [theinquirer.net]

    • by oneiros27 (46144) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:37PM (#11290247) Homepage
      Anyone can throw a computer in a pretty case and call it by whatever name they want -- the big deal is the price point they claim to be able to deliver (similar to a console, which MS already did with the XBox), and the concept of a 'subscription' (with a delivery mechanism) for games.

      Showing a physical unit off at the CES is like showing a MMORPG without any multi-user support -- it might look pretty, but it's missing the core feature that's supposed to make it special.
    • Although that article you linked to claimed that it was running games, another site says that the console was never plugged in during CES. Link to Article here [gamesindustry.biz]

      The article does mention that the Phantom was part of a display for Windows Embedded Devices [microsoft.com], which I guess means someone at Microsoft has seen this thing running, but it still seems a little suspicious to me.
  • Okay, these are both a little late, but isn't it a little unfair to call them vaporware? I mean, we can expect to see them eventually (at least the 4MHz CPU), and a delay of about 3 months is nothing like the delay we've suffered waiting for the Phantom. They wouldn't have qualified for these awards if their release date was Q2, and they just came out. Surely an annual award should wait for at least most of a year for a delay.
  • Kast year was AmigaOS 4 vapourware number 9. This year there is still no release of the new OS for Amiga, but it is not on the list anymore.

    When Amiga can not even produce vapourware, the legend is gone.
  • They were promised - and no one's seen them!
  • by Anita Coney (648748) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:21PM (#11290109) Homepage
    How long does it really take to make a 3d game when you're using someone elses engine?! First, it was supposed to use the Quake 2 engine. Then it switched over to the Unreal engine. It must have switched again because the Unreal engine is ancient by any standard.

    My guess is that the owners of 3D Realms have enough money where they just don't give a rat's ass.

    Does anyone here actually work for 3D Realms?! What's going on over there?!

    • All I can hope is that it's working on the Unreal 3 engine [unrealtechnology.com], because by the time it comes out, everyone's computer will handle it at 1000 FPS.

      And here's an Engine Demonstration [fileplanet.com].
    • by Anonymous Coward
      just go to the 3drealms forum. there is one guy (George something) that talks about development from time to time.

      so yes, they still are working on it. this is no excuse for the length of delay (nearly 10 years now), but you have to keep in mind what duke3d was. it was not just another typical FPS. in fact, it had more going on than the first half-life did really. there was the shrink ray, freeze ray, jet pack, pipe bombs, etc. etc.

      the engine is actually a very very minor part of it. when duke3d fir
      • Oh I agree that Duke3d was great. Probably the most fun FPS ever. If I owned Realms I'd re-release the original game using a more modern engine, e.g., the Q3 engine.

        Practically everyone who owned/played the original would buy it. And it would whet our appetite for the new game.

  • Irony (Score:5, Funny)

    by patonw (747304) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:24PM (#11290129)
    Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?
  • Besides the MLM spams, arent persistant rumors of a $150 iPod? The mini came in a pricey $250. Now there are rumors of keychain size iPod at next weeks MacWorld.
  • by kuwan (443684) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:32PM (#11290207) Homepage
    What about the SCO Group's evidence that Linux contains Unix source code?

    After nearly two years and Darl McBride's claims of "mountains of code" you'd think they'd have shown something by now.
    --
    It works. [wired.com]
    Free Flat Screens [freeflatscreens.com] | Free iPod Photo [freephotoipods.com]
  • What about the "object oriented filesystem" that Microsoft was to release in Cairo, about 1996.

    And had been rehashed in WinFS, now due Q42006.

  • The whole controversy was that it's a copy of (the very real) PearPC. Even if CherryOS never gets released, PearPC still exists. The ones who thought it was vapor are totally clueless. Like this guy:

    >We will probably see a cure for death before we see
    >a true platform emulator," said Tony Lunde. "It's still
    >a pretty interesting idea, though."

    Where do they find these people?
  • by Ann Elk (668880)

    How about Cairo, the be-all-end-all everything's-a-relational-database now-it's-winfs now-it's-not information-at-your-fingertips OS from Microsoft? Jim Allchin has tried (and failed) to build this thing many, many times. Since WinFS has been dropped as a Longhorn feature, it looks like it's still not time for Cairo...

  • Where is SCO? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by gosand (234100) on Friday January 07, 2005 @03:39PM (#11290268)
    I wonder why SCO didn't make the list with its claims of infringing code in Linux.
  • Expect 2 versions of Gran Turismo.

    1.) The regular new gran turismo version. Probably won't make it in March 2005, I'd say May.

    2.) The online version in 2006.

    They are milking it for money.

  • I dual boot my Phantom Console with Longhorn and CherryOS. I also play Duke Nukem Forever on it every day. Vaporware Shmaperware! Those guys at Wired just don't know where to shop.
  • by Supp0rtLinux (594509) <Supp0rtLinux@yahoo.com> on Friday January 07, 2005 @04:11PM (#11290558)
    I think they missed something very key. The other big (in my opinion... the true #1) is the proof that SCO supposedly has and keeps promising to show the world about the Unix code in Linux. They managed to start lots of lawsuits and even gained a few licensees. However, on numerous occasions they promised to "show the proof", yet they have yet to do so. We're coming up on year three and to date, no one has seen any damning code... not even those that signed the NDA.
  • by revscat (35618) on Friday January 07, 2005 @04:11PM (#11290559) Journal

    9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz

    Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....

    8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz

    Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.

    Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?

    Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.

    Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.

  • by raider_red (156642) on Friday January 07, 2005 @04:13PM (#11290581) Journal
    Hey, they were sure they could beat Bush.

    We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.

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