Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards 406
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
Where? (Score:5, Funny)
Sarge (Score:4, Funny)
Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.
(But I still want it now!)
My favorite quote: (Score:1, Funny)
That must be depressing...
Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:3, Funny)
Award for Default Secure Windows? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Bah! (Score:5, Funny)
No. Honestly. A friend works work them and he assures me they'll be handing out the awards real soon now.
Re:Say what you will about /. design... (Score:2, Funny)
Talk about vaporware! Interestingly enough, the site has news of a new Buckaroo Banzai book coming out. Where's "Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime League"?!!! That's got DNF beat by an order of magnitude!
Re:Company Lifetime Achievement Award (Score:4, Funny)
In other news.... (Score:2, Funny)
*) Time is relative
P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware is GNU/HURD (Score:3, Funny)
/* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
#include <stdio.h>
int main ()
{
printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");
return 0;
}
WMD ? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:My favorite quote: (Score:5, Funny)
Irony (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Alienware and 4MHz Pentium (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.
What the fuck?
Re:SCO Group's Evidence? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Elite 4 (Score:5, Funny)
That's it, I'm switching to Linux.
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What is the min delay for vaporware? (Score:2, Funny)
Intel lower on list than Apple? (Score:5, Funny)
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.
Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?
Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.
Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.
The John Kerry Administration (Score:3, Funny)
We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.
Re:My favorite piece of vaporware (Score:5, Funny)
Even more clearly, Futurama 1:12 clearly states that the second coming of Jesus will be in 2443 (though apparently he will be a Zombie).