A Day in the Life of a Nigerian Scammer

prostoalex writes "The media made a Nigerian scammer's career look too easy. Get online, introduce yourself as a corrupt government official willing to take the money out of the country, and wait for the wire transfers from victims to start rolling in. So, the Associated Press takes us through a day in life of Nigerian scammer. It's a life that takes place in Internet cafes with aged screens and free Webmail accounts. However, by the end of the article the AP talks about some people who have made a good career out of it - three cars, two houses. That is, until the next crackdown comes along."

DEAR SIR

[Anonymous Coward]

URGENT ASSISTANCE - FROM USA
IMMEDIATE ATTENTION NEEDED: HIGHLY CONFIDENTIAL
FROM: GEORGE WALKER BUSH 202.456.1414 / 202.456.1111 FAX: [phone]

DEAR SIR / MADAM,

I AM GEORGE WALKER BUSH, SON OF THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA GEORGE HERBERT WALKER BUSH, AND CURRENTLY SERVING AS
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE
YOU BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT MET NEITHER IN PERSON NOR BY CORRESPONDENCE. I
CAME TO KNOW OF YOU IN MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO
HANDLE A VERY CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE
TRANSFER OF A HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM
CONFIDENCE.

I AM WRITING YOU IN ABSOLUTE CONFIDENCE PRIMARILY TO SEEK YOUR
ASSISTANCE IN ACQUIRING OIL FUNDS THAT ARE PRESENTLY TRAPPED IN THE
REPUBLIC OF IRAQ. MY PARTNERS AND I SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN
COMPLETING A TRANSACTION BEGUN BY MY FATHER, WHO HAS LONG BEEN ACTIVELY
ENGAGED IN THE EXTRACTION OF PETROLEUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF
AMERICA,AND BRAVELY SERVED HIS COUNTRY AS DIRECTOR OF THE UNITED STATES
CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY.IN THE DECADE OF THE NINETEEN-EIGHTIES, MY
FATHER, THEN VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, SOUGHT TO
WORK WITH THE GOOD OFFICES OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ TO
REGAIN LOST OIL REVENUE SOURCES IN THE NEIGHBORING ISLAMIC REPUBLIC OF
IRAN. THIS UNSUCCESSFUL VENTURE WAS SOON FOLLOWED BY A FALLING-OUT WITH
HIS IRAQI PARTNER, WHO SOUGHT TO ACQUIRE ADDITIONAL OIL REVENUE SOURCES
IN THE NEIGHBORING EMIRATE OF KUWAIT, A WHOLLY-OWNED U.S.-BRITISH
SUBSIDIARY.

MY FATHER RE-SECURED THE PETROLEUM ASSETS OF KUWAIT IN 1991 AT A COST OF
SIXTY-ONE BILLION U.S. DOLLARS ($61,000,000,000). OUT OF THAT
COST,THIRTY-SIX BILLION DOLLARS ($36,000,000,000) WERE SUPPLIED BY HIS
PARTNERS IN THE KINGDOM OF SAUDI ARABIA AND OTHER PERSIAN GULF
MONARCHIES, AND SIXTEEN BILLION DOLLARS ($16,000,000,000) BY GERMAN AND
JAPANESE PARTNERS. BUT MY FATHER'S FORMER IRAQI BUSINESS PARTNER
REMAINED IN CONTROL OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ITS PETROLEUM RESERVES.

MY FAMILY IS CALLING FOR YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE IN FUNDING THE REMOVAL
OF THE PRESIDENT OF THE REPUBLIC OF IRAQ AND ACQUIRING THE PETROLEUM
ASSETS OF HIS COUNTRY, AS COMPENSATION FOR THE COSTS OF REMOVING HIM
FROM POWER. UNFORTUNATELY, OUR PARTNERS FROM 1991 ARE NOT WILLING TO
SHOULDER THE BURDEN OF THIS NEW VENTURE, WHICH IN ITS UPCOMING PHASE MAY
COST THE SUM OF 100 BILLION TO 200 BILLION DOLLARS ($100,000,000,000
-$200,000,000,000), BOTH IN THE INITIAL ACQUISITION AND IN LONG-TERM
MANAGEMENT. WITHOUT THE FUNDS FROM OUR 1991 PARTNERS, WE WOULD NOT BE
ABLE TO ACQUIRE THE OIL REVENUE TRAPPED WITHIN IRAQ. THAT IS WHY MY
FAMILY AND OUR COLLEAGUES ARE URGENTLY SEEKING YOUR GRACIOUS
ASSISTANCE. OUR DISTINGUISHED COLLEAGUES IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION
INCLUDE THE SITTING VICE-PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
RICHARD CHENEY,WHO IS AN ORIGINAL PARTNER IN THE IRAQ VENTURE AND FORMER
HEAD OF THE HALLIBURTON OIL COMPANY, AND CONDOLEEZA RICE, WHOSE
PROFESSIONAL DEDICATION TO THE VENTURE WAS DEMONSTRATED IN THE NAMING OF
A CHEVRON OIL TANKER AFTER HER. I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM
EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO
OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE. THE INTERNAL REVENUE
SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA WILL FUNCTION AS OUR TRUSTED
INTERMEDIARY. I PROPOSE THAT YOU MAKE THIS TRANSFER BEFORE THE FIFTEENTH
(15TH) OF THE MONTH OF APRIL. I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS
MAGNITUDE WOULD MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED. BUT I AM ASSURING
YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY. A BOLD STEP TAKEN SHALL
NOT BE REGRETTED, I ASSURE YOU. PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT THIS BUSINESS
TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL. IF

Hmm... interesting...

[computerdude33]

*goes to sign up for scammer night classes*

Re:Blog of a scammer

[Anonymous Coward]

Roland Piquepaille's Technology Trends [primidi.com]

Re:Self preservation

[rumblin'rabbit]

Hockey sticks, ding-dong. Russians have hockey sticks.

These guys are terrorists, right?

[bgfay]

"It's a war on terror. These scammers, they hate freedom. That's the only reason they do this. It isn't about the money. It's about hating freedom, and liberty too, and all the other stuff in that yellowed up paper down in the National Archives. We gots to smoke 'em out of their holes and kill 'em."
--G.W. Bush

"These Nigerians need to be deported back to Nigeria. What do you mean they're already there? Deport them to some place else then. (Did I say it okay George?)"
--Tony Blair

Re:DEAR SIR

[Klar]

I fall for those every time! I got one yesterday that actually had [title][surname] in the body of the message. Must be a nice script they use..

Re:DEAR SIR

[Cerdic]

I WOULD BESEECH YOU TO TRANSFER A SUM EQUALING TEN TO TWENTY-FIVE PERCENT (10-25 %) OF YOUR YEARLY INCOME TO OUR ACCOUNT TO AID IN THIS IMPORTANT VENTURE.

I thought it was a hoax and didn't pay the 10-25% of my income and boy was I sorry.

It just goes to show that you shouldn't ignore an email typed entirely in caps.

Re:Who is the thief?

[cowboy76Spain]

Sorry for the editing...

for (int i = 0; i < 100; i++) {
chalkboard.write("I will use the preview button more often\n");
}

Re:Hmm... interesting...

[computerdude33]

Ok... sounds reasonable... how about I pay you $5000 and you pay me $10,000?

(heheh, sucker...)

Re:Hmm... interesting...

[aussie_a]

I would be happy to, please give me your bank account number so I may transfer the funds.

Re:Scammers...

[iminplaya]

I'm sure they'd be interested in a person at a correctional facility who poses as a law enforcement officer and attempts to defraud people using prison phone facilities.

Wadda they gonna do? Arrest him?

Article didn't live up to my expectations

[serutan]

Dang. I was hoping his day would go more like this:

Wake up.
Go to internet cafe.
Discover all my credit cards are maxxed out and my bank accounts are empty. WTF?
See CNN report about manhunt for international child porn dealer. Hey, that's my photo! That's my address!
Notice geeky looking guys with laptops at the next table. What are they laughing at?

Re:Have a heart.

[ozbird]

A lot of these people are older folks who grew up in a different time.

I don't know about them being older folk; to get suckered in by these schemes, they must have been born yesterday.

Re:Anyone

[croddy]

only just barely.

Perfect Timing... my own examples

[CyborgWarrior]

Lol, I've been playing around with one for a little bit now, (just a coupla days actually). Here's the Convo:

Scammer:
I lost the first email, but basically he's saying he's british and I have the same last name as somebody rich who just died, so he wants to split the multi-million dollar inheritance with me in exchange for me posing as a relative.

Me:
I am interested in your offer. However, I'm not
satisfied with the percentages. I required 60% to be transferred to me as I am the one taking the risk of legal reprisal by claiming myself as the next of kin. Please contact me for further information.

Scammer:
Dear Justin,
Why have I not hear from you again I have agrred for your 60 40 for peace to reing but remmber you are taking the chance since i can not make this claim alone so let me know your mind so that we can proceed immediately.

thanks and god bless
ALFRED
(caps removed for /. filter)

Me:
I am sorry for the delay in communications, I am in the process of moving to a different place of
residence and have an unreliable Internet connection. What would be the easiest method for you to transfer the funds? I know that such services as Paypal provide an anonymous bank transfer system. If you would rather work directly with a bank account number, I can open a new account in a few days and leave it empty for the
convenience of easily keeping track of who gets what portion. Also, do you have a bank account number I can have so I can easily facilitate the immediate transfer of your portion of the funds upon your deposit of the complete sum in mine?

Scammer:
dear justin,

i am glad to hear from you today and i must say that you should try to get back to me so that we can be fast to make sure we achieve this goal..as you said if you dont have an account already you can go ahead and open another but if you have i feel there is no needof opening fresh one because all you will do is to forward it to the bank fro the fund transfer.

before i will give you the bank contact address i will like if you have to know your datas as to know whom i am trusting this fund to his care pending when i come over for the disbursement.and i will also like you to send to me your direct telephone numbers so i can speak with you.

please try and get back to me as soon as possible so that we can proceed immediately.

thanks and god bless.

ALFRED CHINEDU.PHONE [phone]

That's it so far. You know you could almost love these guys if they weren't scammers, they're all so friendly and accomodating! A quick note: I dont know of any paypal method for anonymous transfers, I was just throwing that in there to see if he was dumb enough to give out HIS bank account information.

Nigerian Civil Rights Union

[Phoinix]

Dear Mr/Ms/Mrs Slashdotter,

We here in Nigeria are learning from you guys and we have established the first Nigerian Civil Rights Organization dedicated to defend our birth right to scam people. We are currently gathering funds and we need your help. In return, we will name a chapter of our organization after you. Please send us any amount of money you have; $5000 is a good start.

And God Bless You.

Sincerely

GW
The Nigerian Civil Rights Union

P.S. You may be puzzled by the lack of obvious spelling mistakes in this email, well fear not since an English teacher has just joined our ranks.