Windows 95 Turns 10 790
ColdGrits writes "It's hard to believe it, but 10 short years ago today saw the launch of Windows '95.
Here is an archive of the Washington Post's story on the day. As part of the launch, Microsoft paid $12,000,000 for the rights to use the Rolling Stones' song "Start Me Up" (containing the prophetic line 'You make a grown man cry'). "
Ahh, nostalgia... (Score:5, Funny)
From TFA: This passage is especially amusing, since I gained most of my knowledge of Windows 95 through needing to reinstall it repeatedly on various systems.
Another gem from TFA: Yes...I vaguely recall IBM's OS/2...but Apple? No....I'm drawing a blank. ^_^
Blue Screen of Death (Score:5, Funny)
How true... If those poor saps had only know what lie ahead.
10 sort years? (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe i am new here, but what other kind of year is there other than sort years
Windowsz? (Score:3, Funny)
I wonder when we'll see Lindowsz....
Another propethic line (Score:5, Funny)
Well, if it could make a "dead man come" [lyricsfreak.com], that would be really special.
Obligatory (Score:4, Funny)
I just installed Linuxz (Score:0, Funny)
the nightmares are coming back... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:4, Funny)
Tonight on Action News! (Score:5, Funny)
If Windows95 made you cry (Score:3, Funny)
Job ads (Score:5, Funny)
And 10 years of... (Score:3, Funny)
...the same features we delivered seven years ago (Score:5, Funny)
The IE dev teams blogs (nay, boasts!) about tabbed browsing in IE7 -- saying nothing of the fact that tabs are years old.
MS brags and boasts about Monad, which is still vaporware, but it sure will be the best shell ever -- saying nothing of the fact that this has been available forever in *nix.
I'm sure we can come up with more. In the end, MS is very good at marketing. People just love their koolaid.
Speaking of the Stones... (Score:5, Funny)
"Under My Thumb".
*ba-dump-bump-ting!*
Re:Tonight on Action News! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:10 sort years? (Score:3, Funny)
Or, of course leap years.
--
Evan
Re:Ahh, nostalgia... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Another propethic line (Score:5, Funny)
That's reserved for Windows Vista: Keith Richards Edition.
Re:Obligatory (Score:3, Funny)
Next thing you know, you'll be telling me that Office 2000 is also 5 years old, that Windows 98 is 7 years old, or that Office 97 has been around for 8 years now. Ok, smart guy, how long has Office 2003 been out?
O the horror (Score:5, Funny)
Yep, there I was... (Score:2, Funny)
More to come... (Score:5, Funny)
2010: 10 year anniversary of Windows Me
2011: 10 year anniversary of Windows XP
1015: 20 year anniversary of Windows 95
2020: 20 year anniversary of Windows Me
Re:launch song for longhorn (Score:5, Funny)
Here's every Coldplay song, ever:
I HOPE SOME GIRL WILL LOVE ME, BECAUSE I'M A HUGE PANSY
Windows 95 Sucks MP3 - FUNNY! (Score:3, Funny)
Start me Up (Score:4, Funny)
If you start me up I'll never stop
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
I've been running hot
You got me ticking gonna blow my top
If you start me up
If you start me up I'll never stop
You make a grown man cry
Spread out the oil, the gasoline
I walk smooth, ride in a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If you start it up
Kick on the starter give it all you got, you got,
you got I can't compete with the riders in the other heats If you rough it up
If you like it you can slide it up, slide it up
Don't make a grown man cry
My eyes dilate, my lips go green
My hands are greasy
She's a mean, mean machine
Start it up
If start me up
Give it all you got
You got to never, never, never stop
Never, never
Slide it up
You make a grown man cry
Ride like the wind at double speed
I'll take you places that you've never, never seen
Start it up
Love the day when we will never stop, never stop
Never stop, never stop
Tough me up
Never stop, never stop, never stop
You, you, you make a grown man cry
You, you make a dead man come
You, you make a dead man come
Can anyone figure out what the hell Microsoft Marketing was thinking when they selected this song?
Re:Win 95 (Score:1, Funny)
Windows 95 came, all the features that were there were all available in Apple's OS. Today, Vista will be released soon, Vista's features are already available in Apple's OS. But who do you think will make the money?
SCO?
Precautions... (Score:5, Funny)
These are called precautions? I'm going to tell my client that next time we're delayed on a release. And as far as testing, was that something that was new in software at the time?
Windowsz 95 Turns 10 (Score:1, Funny)
Hmm, is that the Polish spelling? Or is 10 the the reading level of the editors today?
Re:...the same features we delivered seven years a (Score:5, Funny)
Their solution is to have the shell make a huge tree of objects that call each other. The objects aren't text, you can't load them in notepad, and you can't pipe them like you can with UNIX. Instead you've got a pile of goddamn API's. Plus, these fucking things are objects, so you can call them and they execute code. The good guys will use them to dig out information that they want. The bad guys will examine them for buffer overflows.
What do Microsoft developers drive? Easy - a Pontiac Aztek. They love ugly cars just as much as they love ugly operating systems. "But you can go camping in it!" is their reply when you criticise their ride. I agree. All the bugs make you feel like you're stuck in the fucking woods without any toilet paper.
Re:More to come... (Score:2, Funny)
2010: 10 year anniversary of Windows Me
2011: 10 year anniversary of Windows XP
1015: 20 year anniversary of Windows 95
2020: 20 year anniversary of Windows Me
2030: 10 year anniversary of time travel.
Re:Ahh, nostalgia... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Windows 95. (Score:4, Funny)
Windows 95 lyrics (Score:5, Funny)
Brought Windows home and tried to boot it up
But when I load it up
It says my memory is not enough
I've been running out
I need Some Extra RAM to fix me up
I have to cough it up
Open my wallet up, it never stops, never stops, never stops, never stops
Its Windows 95
It's sucking up my drive
It makes a Pentium fly
But my PC is obsolete
I'll have to buy myself a brand new machine
Just stick me up
You suck me in then you got me hooked
There's so much stuff to buy
I need a new hard drive
I'ts gonna suck me dry
My 386, Don't have the speed
It takes an hour just to bring up the screen
Oh no
Woow
Yo Yo
Re:Tonight on Action News! (Score:4, Funny)
Of course, I read this as "Details at 0x03".
Re:Start me Up (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Ah yes... (Score:3, Funny)
The Win95 Security Lifecycle is Over (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Obligatory (Score:5, Funny)
Re:yadda yadda (Score:3, Funny)
There IS no second "w" in Windoze!
What's your problem, Taco?
Re:Tonight on Action News! (Score:5, Funny)
You must be fun at birthday parties.
Four Score and Seven Crashes... (Score:3, Funny)
1/2 Score and 10 billion crashes ago, our programmers brought forth on this server a "new" program, conceived in PARC and dedidcated to the proposition that all software can be ripped off.
I'm too lazy to complete the joke and I think you get it by now anyway.
Re:launch song for longhorn (Score:3, Funny)
Re:More to come... (Score:1, Funny)
2040: 20 year anniversary of Windows Vista
Re:More to come... (Score:2, Funny)
So time is cyclical!
Man: Oh, well, I wanted to meet Shakespeare and I figured that time was cyclical.
Fry: Nope. Straight line.
Re:Job ads (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Start me Up (Score:3, Funny)
$12,000,000 (Score:1, Funny)
It it twelve million for a fucking song.
Twelve million for a fucking song!!!
Re:Ahh, nostalgia... (Score:5, Funny)
When I was at Apple, the phrase I heard often was "We didn't buy NeXT, we paid them to take over."
You UNIX youngsters crack me up. ;-) (Score:3, Funny)
It ain't pretty, but at least it's old!
Re:Ahh, nostalgia... (Score:3, Funny)
Interesting... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:...the same features we delivered seven years a (Score:2, Funny)
turning 10 (Score:2, Funny)
So did Norton systemworks 95 and antivirus 95 and
Coincidence? (Score:2, Funny)
On Aug 24 in the year 79:
Mount Vesuvius erupted, burying the cities of Pompeii, Herculaneum, and Stabiae with volcanic ash.
"Windows 95 - It sucks less" T- shirt (Score:3, Funny)
Mac button (Score:5, Funny)
I'm old now (Score:1, Funny)
Re:But they didn't deliver; they provided a stop-g (Score:2, Funny)
oh, wait, never mind...
C:\NGRATLNS.W95 (Score:4, Funny)
Re:But they didn't deliver; they provided a stop-g (Score:1, Funny)
Re:More to come... (Score:2, Funny)
I think you meant:
1015: 14 year anniversary of Y2K
Re:...the same features we delivered seven years a (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Its older than that (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Precautions... (Score:2, Funny)
Microsoft is taking a lot of "precautions" with Vista
Either that, or they just suck at coding.
Re:But they didn't deliver; they provided a stop-g (Score:5, Funny)
Re:More to come... (Score:2, Funny)
10-year anniversary of Windows 95
1,926-year anniversary of the Vesuvius eruption [wikipedia.org].
Which caused more destruction, is the big question?
Re:30,000 times a year? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:...the same features we delivered seven years a (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Job ads (Score:2, Funny)
I also heard of a young woman who was contacted and asked if she had any experience in "C and two pluses".