FBI Agents Put New Focus on Deviant Porn

ErikPeterson wrote to mention an Ars Technica article discussing the FBI's new emphasis on online pornography. From the article: "Last month, the FBI began implementation of an anti-obscenity initiative designed to crack down on those that produce and distribute deviant pornography. According to FBI headquarters, the war against smut is 'one of the top priorities' of Attorney General Gonazalez and FBI Director Robert Meuller. Although law enforcement agencies have always been aggressive when it comes to prosecuting exploitative child pornographers, this new initiative is unique in that it targets Internet pornography featuring consenting adults."

I for one...

[Infonaut]

welcome our Puritanical overlords.

Thank God someone is finally taking us back to the 18th Century. It's about time.

Great

[realmolo]

I would say "Fuck you" to everyone that voted for Bush, but I don't want to go to jail for being "obscene".

Easy

[GroeFaZ]

It should be trivial to mobilize ~98% of the slashdot crowd (who would be personally affected by this) to start a DDOS attack against the FBI servers. If only there was a direct link in TFS...

my tapes

[Kohath]

That does it then. With this news, and the fact that it didn't rank in the top 50 Sci-Fi shows, I'm going to have to dump my Manimal [epguides.com] tapes.

Re:What's deviant?

[kentrel]

" JAY

Alright--first, I'll want to tongue your bung while you juggle my balls in one hand and play with my asshole with the other. But don't stick you finger in. Then. I'll wanna pinky you and put it in your friend's brown, while Silent Bob spanks into a Dixie cup. After that, I'll wanna smell your titties, for a while, and you can pull my nutsack up over my dick, so it looks like a Bullfrog. Then I want you to flick at my nuts while your friend spanks me into the same Dixie cup Silent Bob jizzed in. Then we throw the Dixie cup out. " - maybe that is...

Re:What's deviant?

[kotj.mf]

From TFA:

According to an electronic memo from FBI headquarters, established legal precedents indicate that conviction is most likely in cases where the content "includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior."

Not much of a clue, but still.

I suppose I can understand an anti-bestiality crackdown. But where's the harm in watching a grown man eat poop?

Finally!

[Spetiam]

Heh, with any luck, they'll go after the goatse posters here.

I think

[TCM]

I think that by deviant they mean this [bash.org]. The FBI agent with the nick BritneySpears14 must have been truly shocked.

I don't know.

[Anonymous Coward]

I really don't know what deviant porn is. Could someone maybe post some links so that I could see what they mean? Just trying to understand..

Furries

[kahei]

I am horrified and depressed by this anti-free-speech initiative, UNLESS 'deviant' means 'furry', in which case I am right behind these brave defenders of the constitution.

'Cause there's nothing worse than googling for 'round, firm, tanned buttocks' or whatever, and on the page of images that you get there's a picture of a poorly-drawn cartoon fox spanking a goth rabbit.

Not that I ever google for terms like that, obviously. That'd be utterly pathetic.

Now if you'll excuse me...

Re:Connection?

[Musteval]

Well, you will remember that the terrorists learned all of their flying and hijacking and so on techniques from bestiality porn sites. Now that they'll be closed down, everyone is safer. And remember - we're defending liberty!

deviant?

[Anonymous Coward]

When I saw the words "deviant porn", these comes to mind

1. giant tentacle monster raping 7 year old girls
2. 5+ men raping bubukka-ing little preschool girl
3. fluid ejection that equals to the $200+ watergun in my backyard

Oh, you mean it's not anime? Geez man, I don't know. Hanime looks pretty deviant to me if you are not interested in tentacle monster....

Re:What's deviant?

[BandwidthHog]

So it’s only illegal if you pull out?

Re:Priorities....

[Anonymous Coward]

Alas, exposure to Japanese Porn has given me a fetish for pixellation. My wife really gets annoyed when I ask her to put on the pixellation costume I bought for her.

We needn't wonder anymore

[earthforce_1]

What happened to the Taliban. There are no Taliban left in Afghanistan, they have all emigrated to the US. In fact, I think Mullah Omar is hiding out in the supreme court.

Re:Midget Porn?

[markass530]

There was this one flick We watched on my submarine, had this dude backpacking. He stops, pulls a midget out of his backpack, rails her for a couple minutes, finishes the deed. He then puts her back in the backpack, and goes about his business. Best porn I've ever watched.

Re:Great

[Anonymous Coward]

Darn you Bush! Darn you to heck!

Re:What's deviant?

[ghee22]

or from rat race

Vicki: So, what can I do for you, Harry?
Harold Grisham: Okay... here's what I want. First... we both get naked.
Vicki: So far so good.
Harold Grisham: Except... we're both wearing sailor hats. Then we get into a jacuzzi filled with Pepto-Bismol, I clip your toenails, and you shave my buttocks.
Vicki: What's that?
Harold Grisham: Naked... jacuzzi... Pepto-Bismol... toenails... shave my buttocks.
Vicki: Well, you have quite an imagination, Harry.

Re:Midget Porn?

[Anonymous Coward]

Link?

The FBI Agents Sex Life

[ModernGeek]

Deviant is anything that is outside of these FBI Agents sex lives. That means if it is more than twice a month, not missionary, and longer than 2 minutes, the sexual act is deviant. I think they are just jealous of our normal sex lives. Slashdotters have it so much better than them.

Re:Please don't blame "Christians" in general.

[LithiumX]

Thou shalt not lie down with a man as thou would with a woman. So if you're tied up in an upright position, or otherwise not lying down on something, you should be ok.

Re:What's deviant?

[Anonymous Coward]

This is in the context of the previous section. Men of Corinth were leaving their wives abandoned at home and engaging in bestiality, pedastry and cult prostitution, leaving their wives abandoned at home.

This is actually very good advice. Fuck your wife a lot and she'll be happy. Your wife should fuck you a lot and you'll be happy, and won't be inclined to go visit the Sex Megastore in downtown Corinth.

Adultery and Prostitution are bad. Sleeping with your wife is good. A man should get married so he doesn't engage in prostitution.

But not getting married at all is best.

Ob-Bloodninja

[tsm_sf]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

Re:What's deviant?

[fragmentate]

So it's only illegal if you pull out?

Only if it was intentional.

Re:What's deviant?

[Jambon]

Well if that's bad then any version of The Aristocrats [dead-frog.com] will definately be censored.

Re:What's deviant?

[astr0b0y]

So many fundamentalist Christians, so few lions....

Re:What's deviant?

[OctoberSky]

How dare you quote a Kevin Smith movie and leave out the true connoisseur of porn.... Banky

"Variety's the spice of life. I like a wide selection. Sometimes I'm in the mood for nasty close-ups, sometimes I like them arty and air-brushed. Sometimes it's a spread brown-eye kind of night, sometimes it's girl-on-girl time. Sometimes a steamy letter will do it, sometimes -- not often, but sometimes -- I like the idea of a chick with a horse."

(and yes I had to google connoisseur for proper spelling)

Yeah

[Saint Stephen]

This shit has got to stop. The government has no business doing this kind of thing. It's obvious they're not trying to prosecute people, they're trying to create a climate of fear. This is fine for terrorism. But not for perverted sex. That's creepy.

Re:Furries

[LordKaT]

No fair. I was expecting poorly drawn fox chicks spanking goth rabbits and all I get are women kissing each other. What gives?!

Re:What's deviant?

[0x20]

Don't listen to me. Read the Bible But if I read the Bible, then I'd be listening to you, which you just told me not to do. I've become confused. I'll stay here and await further instruction.

Re:Oh no, not miscigination

[ewhac]

I believe the theory is known as the "WON'T ANYONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN" WAPTOC greater theory of social conformity, where by society is deemed to be best lead towards at state where no child can ever encounter an object or idea which may cause them to ask a question that in any way makes their guardians uncomfortable.

Actually, my middle-class secular armchair analysis goes like this:

Children need to be shielded from all manifestations of Impurity possible. By so doing, their Innocence will be compromised to the minimum possible extent. They will grow up to beget more children, who will be better shielded and more Innocent than themselves, until one day the human race will become Perfectly Innocent beings and, as Perfectly Innocent, will be able to petition $(GOD) for readmittance to the Garden of Eden. $(GOD)'s unconditional love will have been earned once more, and we'll all get to enjoy a living paradise.

Mind you, I pulled this completely out of my ass. But that should be okay, because they did, too.

Schwab

Blowjob in handcuffs?

[Anonymous Coward]

That is an excellent idea. Generally I am not very happy when in handcuffs for distributing my liberal smut. However I do tent to be much more happy when I am getting a blowjob out of handcuffs.

Soo.. I say that this idea should be put in the miranda rights that the Gestapo read deviants. For they will surely give up..Along with 48% of the population in hearing distance.

Re:What's deviant?

[Qzukk]

let every man have his own wife

Awesome! So you're going to assign me a wife? Now I won't have to work on my social skills and can go back to playing WoW 20 hours a day!

Re:Interesting.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mmmmm Noodles

Re:Midget Porn?

[Anonymous Coward]

That's funny cuz one of the best porns I ever saw was called Das Butt and was about a bunch of sailors on a US sub who are bored and horny and watch midget porn together. This turns them on even more, and the next thing you know, everyone involved is in a huge gay orgy.

Is it like that on subs in reality? Where can I sign up?

They can't find the good stuff

[nzkbuk]

We all know what the real reason is. Someone can't find any of "the good stuff". So now they have the FBI looking for it all.
FBI siezes a copy and passes the most deviant on to higher up's who eventually pass it on to those who helped get them into office.

Re:What's deviant?

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

I've become confused. I'll stay here and await further instruction.
Good Citizen! You betters will be along shortly with proper instruction for your inferior plebian mind. Praise the Lord!!!

Re:The Ever Dreaded .....Dirty Gonazalez....?

[the pickle]

Time to re-name the Dirty Sanchez [wikipedia.org], methinks. This idea is a real Cleveland steamer [wikipedia.org], if you ask me. Makes me want to donkey punch [wikipedia.org] Mueller and Gonzalez.

Quick, someone let Mueller know his wife does a great Angry Pirate [glossaryofperversion.com]. (Darn, that one's even beneath Wikipedia...)

p

Re:But bestiality is still legal in Washington...

[tomhudson]

Dated? It's from this summer!

Also, last time I looked, many of the congresscritters (congress and senate) came from those 17 states that allow bestiality, so they have no legal impediment to screwing the pooch back home when they're not fucking the dog in Washington.

Re:What's deviant?

[Anonymous Coward]

Awesome! So you're going to assign me a wife?

This is sad on so many levels. But, rest assured, you will come to see that when we introduce you to the nasty, ugly bitch we've selected on Monday afteroon. For a modest fee, we'll arrange for her to take your house and half of your worldly possessions and leave you that afternoon, sparing you the wait.

Re:Please don't blame "Christians" in general.

[tomhudson]

I'd rather be a free atheist, able to do what I want than be a slave living under "christian morality."

There is nothing wrong with sex between two consenting unmarried people, just like there's nothing wrong with same-sex marriage. "Christian morality" is an oxymoron. That is the truth that shall set you free, not "knowing Jebus."

But god must really love the Bible Belt - he's sending all those hurricanes there to help all his children get all that nice federal money, and to take extended vacations from work. He's even provided all those corpes (surely, they are heathen corpses, right?) so the crocodiles won't starve. Yes, sir, the ultimate slave-owner thinks of everything.

He's even helping his number one servant, George Bush, be the most popular president in all history.

Too bad God doesn't exist. If Jesus were to appear before me tonight, I would take the opportunity to be the first in line to say "fuck you" and kick him in the balls because of all the stupidity and harm done in his name. After all, if he's so omnipotent, he's been pretty damn negligent.

Re:What's deviant?

[Error27]

1. It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.


In other words, being celibate is "good" but you shouldn't do it. Question: Out of the 2 choices, 1) becoming monks or nuns and 2) getting married, which one does Paul want them to do more?


3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5a. Defraud ye not one the other


Married people should have sex often. Even if you don't want to, remember that your husband or wife might so keep that in mind. Fun fact: The Talmud specifies the minimum frequency that couples should have sex. It varies depending on how much time you spend at work.


5b. except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.


If you both agree to not have sex that's OK but only for a short time. And even though you might feel that it helps your spirituality, remember that Satan can use it to tempt you. Also during those periods when you are not having sex, I think you shouldn't eat either, that would make you even more spiritual.


6. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.


That last thing about periodically not having sex is something I would discourage. But since you seem insistent on not having sex then I'm going to allow it.


7. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.


I wish that everyone was like me, but we're all different, that's why I think it's OK for you to not have sex even though I think you should get married and make lots of babies.

Re:What's deviant?

[Anonymous Coward]

From http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACa nadian_10-02.html [humanistsofutah.org]

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?
October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Re:Please don't blame "Christians" in general.

[killjoe]

"In my experience, most proslytutes"

Does that include Rush LImbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, George Bush and the people who follow them?

Re:What's deviant?

[antic]

Don't get me wrong, this is a great discussion, but I'm pretty sure that we're meant to be posting links to deviant porn, right?

Re:Please don't blame "Christians" in general.

[kaligraphic]

...Or is the point that a man may not have vaginal intercourse with another man, and should do it anally instead? (that would definitely be more practical...) ;)