Nestle Patents Coffee Beer

Dotnaught writes "New Scientist reports that Nestec, a Nestle subsidiary, has applied for a patent on a fermented coffee beverage. In other words, coffee beer -- it foams like beer and packs the caffeine of coffee, with "fruity and/or floral notes due to the fermentation of the coffee aroma."

Drew Carey Beat them to it!!

[Anonymous Coward]

OMFG. Buzz Beer is teh shit! Kdawg will pwn your mother!

What every college town needs

[iamjambon]

More wide-awake drunks.

Woohoo!

[sexybomber]

I, for one, welcome our new drunk AND hyper overlords!

ObSimpsons

[Anonymous Coward]

Marge: "Caw-fee!"
Bartender: "Bee-er?"

This will be perfect for late night problem sets

[Physics Nobody]

The coffee keeps you going and the beer makes sure you don't have to care too much.

Skittles!

[Bifurcati]

Aside from being a disturbing combination of knock-me-out and perk-me-up, I think that Skittlebrau [slashdot.org] has a much better chance of being successful.

NB. I said beer was "knock-me-out" not "knock-me-up", so don't go getting any ideas. Not that the two are mutually incompatible, I guess...

Re:Why do people drink this crap?

[servognome]

Why do people willingly put crap like this into their bodies? Caffeine isn't good for you. Neither is alcohol. Combine the two and you're not helping yourself.

It's fun to play chemistry with your body. Showdowns between Starbucks and NyQuil, NoDoz and Sudafed, Red Bull and Sleeping pills. It's legal so it can't possibly hurt me, right? ;)

Re:What every college town needs

[coolidk]

Well at least they'll be able to drive home without having to worry about falling asleep behind the wheel. I suppose that's a good thing :)

Re:Why do people drink this crap?

[shmlco]

"Caffeine causes undue anxiety. Those are not good things to suffer from when you're trying to write solid software..."

I don't know. A little extra anxiety and paranoia might be a good thing for people writing antivirus software and firewalls....

NO, officer...

[laughingcoyote]

That's not BEER you smell on my breath, it's coffee. COFFEE! Hey, put those damn handcuffs away!

Re:Redhook/Starbucks produced a coffee beer

[ElBorba]

As much as I tend to disdain the very novelty of redhook beers and patently despise the evil empire that Howard Shultz begat I can say without hesitation that Double Black was one of the better middle-of-the-road too-sweet porters out there and it was ONLY the bitterness of harbucks' over-roasted (they call it "full city") mcdonald's-coffee-for-three-dollars-a-cup beans that made the bland sweetness of yet another redhook underachiever stand up and say hello. I mean, the only beverage I hate more than Redhook beer is Starbucks coffee... but this stuff was pretty tolerable.

To take only a small tangent, did you know that the now world famous "full city" starbucks roast is the result of an ever-increasing demand for espresso-quality beans? Turns out that starbucks buys so many boatloads of coffee every year that they no longer bother much with traditional coffee plantations and now specialize in converting any massive coffee crop into either House Blend or Espresso Roast? You see, when you sell more coffee than Folgers and Maxwell House it means that, guess what, you don't get quality, you only get quantity! How to compensate for a decidedly lower quality bean? Burn it just a little more than the other guy and call it your signature roast. How you call it a signature roast when there are no human roasters at the plant any more is beyond me. I but you didn't know that either! Robots make starbucks coffee. Oh, and it tastes exactly like dog shit which is why no one has ordered an actual "espresso" at starbucks in nearly 14 years. I'm surprised they even have it on the menu. "Oh, do you want that con pana (because otherwise you can taste the feces)?" Also, who are you retards who order a "viente" latte? Did you know that baby cows don't drink that much milk in one day? And you're having one with a feckin' currant scone? Oh, sorry, make that a viente latte with sugar free chocolate squeezins. Aaaaaargh... I HATE YOU! Get back in your Touareg and die.

Next week's rant:

Volkswagen

a stimulant and a depressant?

[nilbog]

Who invented this? Don't they just cancel eachother out? It's like the simpsons where homer takes sleeping pills and energy pills.

Re:Why do people drink this crap?

[ankarbass]

I have some bad news for you. Your mission critical software has errors. Maybe not quite as many as some "less mission critical software", but it has errors.

BTW: It isn't just guesswork that reduces errors. If you have formally proven your systems, (which I'm quite sure you have right?) then they are correct. It isn't necessary for the implementer really to be sober as long as you have a formal proof and others, including yourself with your pristine substance free (no sugar right) body, can check the proof. Going from a provably correct system to real code is pretty easy work what with all those nice tight pre/post conditions an all.

Oh, and of course you only use compilers that are subjected to similar standards, right?

And please don't tell me any of this runs on windows, none of it runs on windows, right? I bet you're only solid mission critical operating systems that have had every line of code checked and double checked against a formal system? Right?

After all, we wouldn't want the software with bugs. It has to be as good as the rest of the airplane, bug free, nothing will fail, nothing has been overlooked, the design is PERFECT!!!

Reminds of that accident that happened sometime in the late eighties/early nineties where an airplane toilet had its contents jetisoned while still in flight and the frozen contents came crashing into someone's living room. The victim was quoted as saying "Of course it surprised me, the last thing I expect to come crashing into my house in this day and age is an icy BM."

I knew they were working on it!

[Muhammar]

and I could have scooped them - some years ago, I noticed that the stale instant Nestle tastes incredibly lot like a stale weak beer. (I thought it was nice that they did not use the usual burnt motoroil flavor like Folgers'). So they were just passing a beta version of their birra Coffiest!

Re:Give me Java Porter any day...

[dascandy]

No alcohol? So it's american beer?

Re:Why do people drink this crap?

[zoloto]

whoa, someone needs to lay off the caffeine

Coffee and beer have been mixed forever

[asink]

Their exact process for doing so may be somewhat unique, but coffee beer has been around for a long time, the most popular type being the coffee porter [millstreetbrewery.com]
I would say something about them not being able to stand up in court, but the caffeine helps with that.

Re:Buzz Beer

[DrWhizBang]

I'm pretty sure that the sense of humour has not been patented, so you are perfectly free to develop one without repercussions.

I guess to be fair to you, the moderators marked the parent as "Insightful" so I guess they didn't get it either.

Re:Why do people drink this crap?

[archen]

Real Programmers can code anything they want. They write operating systems all the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are crazy and awsome and code all the time. I heard that there was this Real Programmer who was eating at dinner. And when some dude dropped a spoon, the Real Programmer replaced the entire town with a shell script.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd rather have a Tomacco

[paco3791]

Ahh sweet, sweet nicotine. and a link for the clueless. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomacco [wikipedia.org]