Microsoft to Release 7 Patches Next Week

craters writes "Microsoft plans to release 7 patches next week for Windows and Office. From the article: 'In the monthly pre-patch notification it sends out five days prior to unveiling fixes, Microsoft said that at least two of the seven will be rated Critical, which by the company's definition means that the vulnerability can be remotely exploited.'"

Great timing

[0110011001110101]

FTFA - Microsoft will also issue one non-security, high-priority update to Windows, and will update the Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool to, at the least, account for the parasitic Kama Sutra/MyWife/Nyxem worm that caused a stir last week.

Ohhhh man... it figures.. right when I had my spyware pickup line down to a science...

Example:

Me: Well maam, I can fix the problem.
Hot Housewife: Great! Whats it going to take?
Me: Well I've been reading some websites on good ways to deal with myWife.
Hot Housewife: mmmmHmmmm
Me: ANd then we'll look and see if I can find my article on Kama Sutra, and get to work.
Hot Housewife: Screw the article.. why don't you just start checking out my ports now!

Please delay this patch for a couple more weeks, until my viagra laden penis enlargment pills and kingly inheritance arrive from my new friends in Nigeria, thus negating my need for cheesy spyware pickup line attempts.

Re:Great timing

[Horatio_Hellpop]

// thus negating my need for cheesy spyware pickup line//

Methinks you need a hella lot more than pills and bills ...

timing?

[mctsonic]

Happy VD from Microsoft!

Re:Great timing

[hunterx11]

Your attempt to parody the situation doesn't fit in quite as well as you might like. The problem is with the timing, I think.

MS Anti-Virus

[devinoni]

Maybe Microsoft will release updated virus definitions once a month too.

One for each...

[Suspended_Reality]

Let's see, there's one patch for gluttony, because the Windows software is bloated.

There's another patch for lust, so Google Desktop won't track your pr0n habits.

There's supposedly a patch for sloth, but I'm too lazy to see what it does.

There's a patch for wrath, you son-of-a-bitch!

There's a patch for envy, it will nullify Firefox.

There's a patch for pride and that just leaves one patch for greed, but Micro$oft will fix that sooner or later.

Looks like ...

[pilsner.urquell]

Looks like Microsoft is trying to patch there image.

Re:I hope it's not business as usual...

[Anonymous Coward]

Please, spreading FUD about Microsoft is like setting off a stink bomb in a landfill.

Oh Great

[aquatone282]

7 reboots.