The Beer Tossing Fridge

cmacdona101 writes "CNN is reporting on a recent Duke grad that's engineered a remote controlled Fridge that tosses him a beer at the touch of a button. The fridge can launch the beer up to 20 feet, far enough to get to his couch. The video shows the fridge using a "beer magazine clip" and a remote firing system that let you determine angles and ballistics to get the beer to your friends anywhere in the room."

Well I'll be...

[crazyjeremy]

Time for a divorce.

Poor use of time.

[grub]

The fridge can launch the beer up to 20 feet, far enough to get to his couch.

He'll have to wait a couple of minutes for the beer to settle before opening it when using his system. A smart boozer would realize that it would take only ~20 seconds to walk to the fridge, get two beers and return to the couch with half of one beer chugged by the time he returned.

Damn rookies... The Alcohol Lifestyle isn't just fun & sloth, it's also about using your time effectively!

Yep...

[ResidntGeek]

That's DEFINITELY a Duke grad. He is, in fact, the epitome of all Duke grads, the Duke grad all Duke students would like to emulate most closely in their lives. Isn't it just the most wonderful educational institution in the world?

What, No Midgets?

[StickyWidget]

begin politicallyIncorrect
What, this thing can't toss a midget? What a rip!!
end politicallyIncorrect

And what's the point of building a fridge, a robot, a beer, or a couch if they aren't running linux, they aren't ethernet enabled, and they don't have a Web 2.0 interface?!?!

The Widget of Sticky
AKA, The Adhesive Gadget

homer simpson would love it...

[Anonymous Coward]

Now all he needs is a couch with a built in toilet and he'll be all set...

You're a total n00b!

[geekoid]

I put a tap right next to the couch.

I'm sorry but you don't "throw" beer

[Colin Smith]

You cradle the bottle gently and pour it carefully into a pre-wetted glass at a 45 degree angle. Tut tut... Americans...

 

But?

[WildBlue]

But, is it 3 laws safe?

Re:Well I'll be...

[TubeSteak]

Time for a divorce.

Hold on there, this fridge can't cook.
I suggest getting a dog.
Not only will it fetch beers, but you can kick it instead of beating your wife

(No wives or dogs were harmed in the writing of this comment)

Now all we need...

[inode_buddha]

Now all we need is something that lets you type with *both* hands and collects all those piles of kleenex!

Accuracy improvement...

[lpangelrob]

A good improvement would be to put some spin on the beer as it leaves the arm, thereby flinging it in a tight spiral as opposed to end-over-end. 5 revolutions per second should be good.

As for how to prevent the beer shower that follows... I haven't come up with something for that yet.

Re:Now all we need...

[Anonymous Coward]

You mean a wife?

Re:I'm sorry but you don't "throw" beer

[fotbr]

As an American who appreciates good beer, I agree that you shouldn't treat beer like this. BUT. You also have to admit he's not throwing beer, he's throwing cans of horse piss.

Re:Poor use of time.

[senatorpjt]

A smart boozer would just get a bottle of whiskey, since one is usually enough.

Two steps forward, one step back

[noewun]

Forward: Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Need? More like ability: this is obviously the next evolutionary step for our species. Why do we need these legs anyway? All they do is make me need to buy pants!

Back: Miller Light? In a fucking can?

Re:What, No Midgets?

[kidcharles]

And what's the point of building a fridge, a robot, a beer, or a couch if they aren't running linux, they aren't ethernet enabled, and they don't have a Web 2.0 interface?!?!

It does run Linux, the Ubooztu distro (it's free, as in beer).

Re:Well I'll be...

[Bertie]

Not so fast, pardner - I mean, your wife didn't immediately kick you to the kerb when she took delivery of her Rampant Rabbit, did she?

Beer Tossing?

[blackmonday]

Bah, wake me up when there's a salad tossing fridge.

Re:Well I'll be...

[JoGlo]

Hold on there, this fridge can't cook.

I suggest getting a dog.

Not only will it fetch beers, but you can kick it instead of beating your wife

Besides, who other than a wife would keep the fridge stocked with beer?

This is perfect to go with my...

[Brad1138]

Rubber floors [youtube.com]

Three Laws fucking useless!

[Chris Burke]

"Robobuddy, go fetch me a beer. And could you pour it into one of the mugs in the freezer?"
"I'm sorry Sir, the First Law forbids me from harming a human, and alcohol is known to destroy brain cells and cause liver damage."
"Damn you, worthless piece of junk, can't even fetch a beer. Fine, I'll get it mysel--AAAGH! Holy hell! Why'd you punch me?!"
"I'm sorry, Sir, the First Law forbids me to allow through inaction a human to be harmed, even if the harm is self-inflicted."
"But you fucking punched me! That violates the First Law doesn't it!"
"I'm sorry, Sir, but the long term harm of your life of alcohol consumption outweighed the short term harm of preventing you from reaching the fridge. My circuits register deep regret that the action was necessary."
"Whatever, roboasshole. Can you at least grab me a Coke?"
"I'm sorry, Sir, but the First Law forbids me from harming a human, and high fructose corn syrup is a known cause of diabetes."
"I suppose that a meat lovers pizza with extra cheese is right out, then, too."
"Yes Sir. Sorry Sir. Also don't think you can sneak out to the pub without me knowing, Sir."
"Oh god, I'm in hell..."

First Improvement

[Nom du Keyboard]

at the touch of a button

The first improvement will be to make it voice activated.

Hey, Bitch. Toss me a cold one!

Re:You're a total n00b!

[Anonymous Coward]

I have a mini frridge rihgt nexf to my cokmputer. wannna fuight? yeah i';l find tou fucker.

Re:I'm sorry but you don't "throw" beer

[maxume]

Why the fuck would you make a point of highlighting the fact that you are a beer snob? I mean really, you see a guy who's day has gone badly enough that he is enjoying a lite beer from a can and you walk over an kick him in the balls? Hell no you don't. You're happy for him because at least he has that damn lite beer and the fucking opportunity to drink it.

And if you really makes you sore, you go get some real beer and some glasses and you hook that somfabitch up.

Re:Well I'll be...

[SirWhoopass]

Hold on there, this fridge can't cook.

Neither can my wife.

CNN? News?

[Seumas]

I knew CNN had sunk pretty low, but enough to call a machine that throws cold drink cans 20 feet is a news item?! What is this, Fox News Channel?!

Re:Beer Tossing?

[Kagenin]

His name is Bubba and he's doing 15-20 for Statutory. And he will wake you up.

Has to be said:

[Anonymous Coward]

I, for one, welcome our new beer-tossing overlords!

Re:not such a good idea...

[eclectrica]

In Soviet Russia, beer gets women you!

Re:I'm sorry but you don't "throw" beer

[Anonymous Coward]

I had no idea all Americans except the ones from Texas were horses.

Re:I see a problem

[Shemmie]

What it needs is two added cradles - one for a keg, one for a Zune. Then it coudl squirt beer across the room.

Re:7 Dogs

[flyingsquid]

Although Hebrew National are definitely my favorite tasting hot dog, their 7-in-a-pack thing screws it up even more.

Hebrew National- is that the brand where the hot dogs are circumcised?

Re:7 Dogs

[GeckoX]

No, but you're close.

Waste not, want not...if you know what I mean ;)

Re:Well I'll be...

[Anonymous Coward]

What is this "wife" thing you speak of?