Military Running a Parallel Earth Simulator

Military Running a Parallel Earth Simulator 470

Posted by Zonk on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:22PM from the in-that-reality-i'm-an-ardent-fan-of-this dept.

Fantastic Lad writes "The US Department of Defense (DOD) may already be creating a copy of you in an alternate reality. Putting supercomputers to an innovative use, the military is simulating our planet in an effort to predict the outcome of different scenarios. They might run tests to see how long 'you' can go without food or water, or how 'you' will respond to televised propaganda. Billions of nodes are created in the system, intended to reflect every man, woman, and child. 'Called the Sentient World Simulation (SWS), it will be a "synthetic mirror of the real world with automated continuous calibration with respect to current real-world information", according to a concept paper for the project. Simulex is the company developing these systems, and they list pharmaceutical giant Eli Lilly and defense contractor Lockheed Martin among their private sector clients. The U.S. military is their biggest customer, apparently now running the most complex version of the system. JFCOM-9 is now capable of running real-time simulations for up to 62 nations, including Iraq, Afghanistan, and China. The simulations gobble up breaking news, census data, economic indicators, and climactic events in the real world, along with proprietary information such as military intelligence."

Military Running a Parallel Earth Simulator

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Alternate reality... (Score:5, Funny)

by lelitsch ( 31136 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:25PM (#19696471)

Where "parallel" is spelled "paralell".

The downside... (Score:5, Funny)

by ktakki ( 64573 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:26PM (#19696477) Homepage Journal

The downside is that the full version of this simulator will be powered by the electro-chemical activity of six billion human beings.

Whoa.

k.

W.O.P.R. (Score:5, Funny)

by Citizen of Earth ( 569446 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:27PM (#19696489)

Called the Sentient World Simulation (SWS)

They should have called it W.O.P.R.

My virtual self? (Score:4, Funny)

by CrazyJim1 ( 809850 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:28PM (#19696497) Journal

My virtual self would be contemplating my thoughts and actions on it's virtual self causing the entire simulation to hit an infinate spawning of threads... And lets hope I don't think if I am actually a virtual node in a computer.

Paralell...? (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:28PM (#19696499)

New rule: if you can't spell, you can't smoke pot.

Hand it over, Zonk.

Oh really? (Score:3, Funny)

by TodMinuit ( 1026042 ) writes: <todminuitNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:28PM (#19696501)

Anyone have a torrent for it? ThePirateBay turned up nothing.

Ultimate Sim City? (Score:5, Funny)

by g-san ( 93038 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:28PM (#19696503)

I sure hope it comes complete with options to unleash a tidal wave, hurricane, rioters, and UFOs, just to you know, see what happens.

Let's play Global Thermonuclear War. (Score:3, Funny)

by Joe The Dragon ( 967727 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:31PM (#19696525)

Fine witch side do you want?

If they're doing Norway... (Score:5, Funny)

by jjeffries ( 17675 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:33PM (#19696545)

I do hope they get the fjords right... lovely crinkly edges...

Yes, but... (Score:4, Funny)

by Kesch ( 943326 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:37PM (#19696575)

Can it win at Tic-Tac-Toe?

Re:My virtual self? (Score:3, Funny)

by Saint Stephen ( 19450 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:41PM (#19696599) Homepage Journal

I wonder if my virtual self gets laid.

I just hope... (Score:4, Funny)

by oconnorcjo ( 242077 ) * writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:42PM (#19696601) Journal

that I survive most of the scenarios. I would hate to get a visit from the police saying my virtual self has just died some horrific death and that I should get in better shape for "just in case". :)

Re:Let's play Global Thermonuclear War. (Score:4, Funny)

by loucura! ( 247834 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @10:59PM (#19696707)

The cockroaches, please.

Re:The political options (Score:3, Funny)

by Tablizer ( 95088 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:01PM (#19696731) Journal

Or,What would happen if we gave every monkey a loaded gun?

Whatever it is, it looks like Shakespear.

good for computer geeks? (Score:5, Funny)

by amigabill ( 146897 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:02PM (#19696733)

Maybe they will share with me the simulation sequence of events that finally get me laid. There could be something useful in all this!

Personally... (Score:5, Funny)

by NeutronCowboy ( 896098 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:04PM (#19696761)

... I think this will lead to the opposite.

"Mr. President, we found a scenario in which Iraq will become th 52nd US State, oil will flow freely, WMDs were found in Saddam's closet, and bin-Laden was found in his bedroom."
"Excellent! Invade!"

Re:Ultimate Sim City? (Score:4, Funny)

by Kesch ( 943326 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:23PM (#19696867)

Where do you think Katrina came from?

Re:If they're doing Norway... (Score:3, Funny)

by DebateG ( 1001165 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:31PM (#19696895)

They'll be fine with the fjords as long as they can get some reticulating splines.

Ok, this is sad (Score:3, Funny)

by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) writes: on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:40PM (#19696953)

Over 100 posts and no one yet asking what it would be like to have a Beowulf cluster of parallel earths? In this topic, it's actually almost funny. But there's probably a goatse in here somewhere, I trust the trolls enough for that.

so what they're telling us is (Score:2, Funny)

by suedehed ( 21718 ) writes: <suedehedNO@SPAMyahoo.com> on Friday June 29, 2007 @11:47PM (#19696985) Homepage

That they're running "The Sims" ? And this is news?

Re:What if Neville Chamberlain had a backbone? (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:04AM (#19697053)

Holy shit, take a bath will you... The stench of bullshit coming from you is overwhelming.

As are the waves of body odor, patchouli oil and hemp coming from you my anonymous friend.

Hey! Recursion! (Score:4, Funny)

by Tony ( 765 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:13AM (#19697097) Journal

Funny thing is, *we're* just nodes in a full geosociopolitical simulation of the earth, for the masters of the *real* earth.

I wonder if, inside the Pentagon's simulator, they're building a simulator. If not, it's not a complete simulation, is it? So it isn't accurate, is it?

Oh, I thought not.

Amateurs.

Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:25AM (#19697159)

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

by An ominous Cow art ( 320322 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:27AM (#19697165) Journal

"I know not with what computer WW3 will be simulated, but WW4 will be simulated with sticks and stones."

Re:The George W. Bush Node... (Score:3, Funny)

by mcpkaaos ( 449561 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:38AM (#19697199)

Or an Etch-A-Sketch with one knob missing.

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

by jdray ( 645332 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @12:41AM (#19697213) Homepage Journal

Chance of someone imagining a Beowulf cluster of these: 100.0%

Well... (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @01:10AM (#19697297)

If my "real" self is simulating me, he has even less of a life than I do.
I'm posting on Slashdot on Friday night, so the above isn't possible.
Therefore, I'm the real me.

QED, proof by geekiness :-)

Re:My virtual self? (Score:4, Funny)

by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @01:29AM (#19697373)

How do you know that you aren't a simulation for some real Joe Blow out there, hmm?
I can't rocket jump. Any simulation worth running would let me rocket jump. And the cheat codes only seem to work for Republicans. That can't possibly be fair.

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

by EmotionToilet ( 1083453 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @01:33AM (#19697395)

I hope the simulated me has an iPhone.

Re:So Chris Carter was right? (Score:4, Funny)

by plover ( 150551 ) * writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @01:46AM (#19697447) Homepage Journal

No, Gene Roddenberry was right when he made "Mirror, Mirror". We get to see George Bush and Condi Rice with moustaches and goatees.

Re:My virtual self? (Score:5, Funny)

by rubycodez ( 864176 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @02:51AM (#19697685)

no one would pay the energy bill for a simulation of male humans who mostly sit at their computer either posting on slashdot or downloading pr0n and wanking off. QED, you're all real.

Re:The political options (Score:3, Funny)

by loganrapp ( 975327 ) writes: <loganrappNO@SPAMgmail.com> on Saturday June 30, 2007 @03:05AM (#19697739)

Chances of subject acquiring a female companion: .01%

I hate this fucking simulation.

Re:What if Neville Chamberlain had a backbone? (Score:3, Funny)

by mythar ( 1085839 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @03:56AM (#19697947) Journal

to recap: iraq was hitler. iran is hitler. anyone who speaks provocatively against the US and its allies is hitler.

so, we better kill them before they do something totally evil, like hitler did. most importantly, do it in the name of democracy, social equality, and freedom!

hitler.

i like beating up 7-year-old hitlers. SHOCK AND AWE, BABY!

hitler hitler.

Re:Twelfth Imam (Score:3, Funny)

by Geoffreyerffoeg ( 729040 ) writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @04:18AM (#19698017)

The Great Journey is near!

Re:Ultimate Sim City? (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Saturday June 30, 2007 @09:59AM (#19699141)

US Army will conclude a simple excavator is the ultimate destruction weapon XD

There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

Alternate reality... (Score:5, Funny)

The downside... (Score:5, Funny)

W.O.P.R. (Score:5, Funny)

My virtual self? (Score:4, Funny)

Paralell...? (Score:4, Funny)

Oh really? (Score:3, Funny)

Ultimate Sim City? (Score:5, Funny)

Let's play Global Thermonuclear War. (Score:3, Funny)

If they're doing Norway... (Score:5, Funny)

Yes, but... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My virtual self? (Score:3, Funny)

I just hope... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Let's play Global Thermonuclear War. (Score:4, Funny)

Re:The political options (Score:3, Funny)

good for computer geeks? (Score:5, Funny)

Personally... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Ultimate Sim City? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:If they're doing Norway... (Score:3, Funny)

Ok, this is sad (Score:3, Funny)

so what they're telling us is (Score:2, Funny)

Re:What if Neville Chamberlain had a backbone? (Score:2, Funny)

Hey! Recursion! (Score:4, Funny)

Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

Re:The George W. Bush Node... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

Well... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:My virtual self? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:The political options (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So Chris Carter was right? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:My virtual self? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:The political options (Score:3, Funny)

Re:What if Neville Chamberlain had a backbone? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Twelfth Imam (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Ultimate Sim City? (Score:1, Funny)

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