Will Microsoft Put The Colonel in the Kernel?

theodp writes "The kernel meets The Colonel in a just-published Microsoft patent application for an Advertising Services Architecture, which delivers targeted advertising as 'part of the OS.' Microsoft, who once teamed with law enforcement to protect consumers from unwanted advertising, goes on to boast that the invention can 'take steps to verify ad consumption,' be used to block ads from competitors, and even sneak a peek at 'user document files, user e-mail files, user music files, downloaded podcasts, computer settings, [and] computer status messages' to deliver more tightly targeted ads."

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[zionian117]

What? weren't "General Failure" and BSOD enuff?

Free OS

[Anonymous Coward]

This seems like something that would be useful to have a free home desktop OS. I bet they patented it just to keep some Linux distro from doing it.

KFC

[zionian117]

Does this in any way relate to KFC... i nearly ditched linux got vista so that Colonel would get me some fried Chicken!! Then I read the story.... Damn it makes me hungry!

Re:More Monies Please...

[geminidomino]

Microsoft has realized that protecting consumers and selling high quality products are not ways they can make money any longer.

Microsoft made high-quality products?

Mercy sakes, you are ignorant

[Eustace Tilley]

You do not understand the difference between an application and an operating system. Please stop posting.

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[iamdrscience]

What? weren't "General Failure" and BSOD enuff?

Yeah, I mean, General Failure outranks the Colonel, right?

Not yours.

[trudyscousin]

When I first heard the name "Windows Genuine Advantage," I thought, "hey, great; I've finally got an advantage over those smug Mac OS X and LInux users!" Then, of course, came the awful truth.

When I first heard the name "Trusted Computing," I thought, "hey, great; does this, like, mean I can make clicky-clicky on links in the sketchiest of web pages without gasping in shock at the horrors of pathological proctology?" Then, of course, came the awful truth.

This evening, upon reading the name "Advertising Services Architecture," I thought, "hey, great; is this a cool new enabling technology that will this help me sell more stuff and make more money on eBay?" Then, yet again, came the awful truth, as pointed out in the link to this article.

As far as I know, these are but three of the 100 reasons [microsoft.com] I'll be speechless for Microsoft Vista. Or saying "Wow!" But: Is there some context in the English language in which "Wow!" means "I've got an axe buried in my head?" (Being speechless does, after all, seem to be an appropriate response to such trauma, and so I was trying to make the connection between the two.) Because after all the all the aforementioned truths, after finding out that this vast infrastructure for which I'm paying has nothing to do whatsoever with that for which I want to use a computer, well, that's kind of what I imagine it feels like.

Re:The sound you hear is...

[plover]

Don't worry. There will be an open-source version of this available for Ubuntu sometime in the next month, long before the patent is approved. But it'll be a lame version like 0.89 and only show "Hello, I'm a Mac" ads.

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[pallmall1]

What now after General Failure, Colonel whatever ...

Don't forget Major Flaw and his Battalion of Bugs.

Re:Free OS

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, but that's free as in communism. This gonna be free like America!

Re:The sound you hear is...

[misleb]

And long time slashdotter! Do you impress the chicks with your low user ID? :-)

Re:KFC

[Anonymous Coward]

Now with the Colonel Kernel, get an 8-piece bucket of security pop-ups, with a heapin' order of Vista Ultimate and a free side of RAM just to hold it all in!

Re:Not yours.

[mazarin5]

Is there some context in the English language in which "Wow!" means "I've got an axe buried in my head?"

I'm not sure if this is the proper spelling, but I think it's something like "Aaaaaaaaaaaoooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwww!"

Regarding Sr. Manjusha's Comment

[Eco-Mono]

Welcome to Slashdot! Would you like to be a moderator?

Too bad.

Brought to you by ...

[terbo]

This blue screen of death brought to you by amazon.com.
Please allow for a short reboot so that we may introduce you to
our new and exciting product lineup!

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[nmb3000]

Yeah, I mean, General Failure outranks the Colonel, right?

Funniest thing on Slashdot so far today (even if it is only 01:30), but I would have thought General Protection Fault outranks the Colonel :)

Re:KFC

[Anonymous Coward]

12 secret copyrights and patents?

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[hey!]

I've often wished I could introduce Microsoft executives to Corporal Punishment, but I don't think that counts.

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[baboo_jackal]

And once the Navy starts using it, they'll be after your Seamen...

Good God.

We may not get better security...

[Chris Mattern]

...but at least we'll have chicken.

Chris Mattern

Re:Wonder when this will be an "important update"?

[srmalloy]

I've often wished I could introduce Microsoft executives to Corporal Punishment, but I don't think that counts.

We can always hope that implementing this will introduce them to Major Disaster...