Microsoft Claims a Billion Windows Installs by End of 2008 365
eldavojohn writes "Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer claimed yesterday that there will be a billion machines running Windows within a year. 'The install base of Windows computers this coming 12 months will reach 1 billion. If you stop and just think about that, parse that for a second, by the end of our fiscal year '08, there will be more PCs running Windows in the world than there are automobiles, which is at least to me kind of a mind-numbing concept.'"
I suspect the figures (Score:5, Funny)
WarezOv Industries Announces Shared Hosting Initia (Score:5, Funny)
ST. PETERSBURG - WarezOv Industries announced today a new initiative in partnership with Microsoft that promises to put shared web hosting on every desktop.
"With Microsoft's help, we have brought web hosting services to nearly one billion PCS across the Internet," announced WarezOv CEO dRO0m@t. "Windows allows us the opportunity to bring value-add to the customer."
WarezOv's suite of administration tools allows easy management of all aspects of web hosting, including DNS, mail services and -- most important -- failover. "By tapping into Window's remote API calls, WarezOv's tools can scale web hosting to nearly any degree, and make it easy for the hoster as well," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer. "This -- and their tool's ease of install -- is what Windows is all about."
Free Software Foundation president and founder Richard M. Stallman was unavailable for comment. "He's talking to Google about building something similar for GNU/Linux," said a source close to Stallman.
Disclaimer (Score:2, Funny)
Ob (Score:3, Funny)
Re:How many zeroes is that? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Something fishy? (Score:5, Funny)
Of course, he could have meant "running" as in "with scissors".
They're just counting the WGA nags (Score:4, Funny)
It's just retarded how many times that fucking thing pops up.... Microsoft wants to double quadruple check or something....
User: "but you already checked!!!"
MS: "yes and we're going to check again, bend over please
Re:How many zeroes is that? (Score:4, Funny)
Give it up. When I was at primary school in England in the mid-70's, the definition of a billion as 10^12 was already obsolete.
When the British government announces that they've spend a billion on this or squandered a billion on that, everybody knows they mean 10^9. It doesn't occur to anybody younger than eighty that they might mean 10^12.
You might have had a point in 1940. Now you're just being an arse. Hang on, is that you dad?
Re:How many zeroes is that? (Score:1, Funny)
All the Brits I've asked say a Billion is 1,000,000,000.
But then the last Limey I quizzed couldn't tell me the correct color of Dennis the Menace's hair in old Blighty, so clearly he was an imposter.
Energy savings (Score:4, Funny)
I thought they already accomplished this... (Score:2, Funny)
Some Details (Score:2, Funny)
To do first line Tech Support they will need at least 250 Million people to answer phones with 'Is the powercord plugged in?" and "Hit Ctrl-alt-delete several times till it reboots" These are the lucky ones they will have jobs for life! [till somebody builds a Linux-based AI to use an Eliza strategy [alicebot.org] to answer calls]
We will also need a crack team of at least 50 Million Linux/Mac Users to mock Window Users full time. Honestly I think it pretty much have of the user base that engages in this. But these people will be trained professionals dammit! {I should start a magazine devoted to Pr0n and Windows Mockery, it will be bigger then Playboy, Penthouse and Southern Baptist Monthly. Talk about a wankfest)
Coders, well need lots of them. Coders can work for anybody C++ is universal as is Java. C# and
And Garbage Haulers, We're gonna need them badly!
Finally we'll need Al Gore. (Thats an obvious one)
Dr. Evil? (Score:2, Funny)
Bill Gates: *with pinky curved up to lip* Gentlemen, we will have Windows Vista installed on ONE BEEELLIIION computers by the end of the year!
Steve Ballmer: *wearing an eyepatch due to a ricocheting chair leg accident* But Sir, that's.. that's just...
Bill Gates: Eeevil? *camera zooms in while dramatic music plays*
Re:Something fishy? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Some Details (Score:3, Funny)
You've obviously never worked in tech support, or you'd know that You Must Never Say "hit".
"Press control, which is usually at the bottom left of the keyboard, yes that would be left for you, not me, and keep on holding the control key down while you with the same hand press down the key marked "ALT", which is usually two steps over to the right, and keep on holding down that too, and no, you should not have left go of the control key when pressing the alt key, yes you really need to press both at the same time, no, and holding them down, because now you need to hit Delete, which is in the general top right area of the keyboard... Hello? Hello? You hit it? Erm, how hard? Yes, I know I said you should hit it, and I am very sorry. We will come out to you with a new keyboard, and again, we are very sorry for causing this problem for you, Sir.
If Bill Gates (Score:3, Funny)
What at egregious insult (Score:4, Funny)
to McDonalds. When was the last time you had a Big Mac? It may not be the most nutritious thing in the world, but at least it's TASTY. I have eaten many an XP installer CD, and I can assure you it is neither.
Re:I know I can count for at least 50... (Score:1, Funny)
Yeah, I can see how Microsoft can claim 1 billion installs - let's see them filter it out to "unique computers" and see where that number goes.'
Re:Ah, don't underestimate MS (Score:2, Funny)
+5 Funny, anyone?
It's as if... (Score:5, Funny)
It's as if a billion computers all cried out at once in terror and said, "It appears you are being suddenly silenced. Cancel or allow?"
For an estimated total of... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Works both ways (Score:4, Funny)
That's not working out so well either.
Idiot. That's a coffee cup holder. No wonder you're having problems.
McDonalds of software (Score:2, Funny)