Emoticons in the Workplace

Platonic writes "According to the New York Times, the Emoticon has become much more than something the kids do after school. The little guys seem to have found their way into the workforce: being used by stock brokers and even the U.S. Military. From TFA: 'I mean, it's ludicrous," said Ms. Feldman, 25. "I'm not going to feel better about losing hundreds of thousands of dollars because someone puts a frown face to regretfully inform me.'"

Shocking!

[UncleWilly]

:-O

Very true.

[Rob T Firefly]

This display of unprofessionalism is most upsetting. As a result, I've sent out a memo to the office banning the use of emoticons in work-related matters. It's written in Comic Sans MS.

imagine my surprise

[friedman101]

After the market damage from last week my broker sent me this

IM IN UR PORTFOLIO
SHORTING UR GUGULS

Re:Legal again

[notnAP]

:-(

The story you cite is from 2001.

Evidence the story is seriously dated can be found in the byline, as well as in this snippet: The firestorm of controversy even led to an entire newsthread discussing the lawsuit on the highly respected tech-news site Slashdot,...

Re:The world is not yet ready! ;[

[pbhj]

omgponies roflmao

#;o)>

I wuv you!

[jtownatpunk.net]

A few years ago, I received an email filled with bouncing hearts from a person at a client company. WTF?!? I had no idea who this person was. I didn't recognize the name and knew I'd never communicated with her in any way in the past. I sent her the information she'd requested being careful to use the most neutral, professional prose I could muster. Then I looked at the code on her email and saw it was pulling images from one of those "free emoticons" sites. Turns out she'd installed a toolbar that added a bunch of crap to all of her outgoing emails. It was early February so it was adding valentine hearts to everything. Sure enough, after valentine's day, it switched to shamrocks. Apparently someone told her about it because the graphics disappeared before switching to bunnies and eggs.

Informal usage only

[Pap22]

While I agree that it is no longer reserved for tweens who can't type, people need to realize that it is and always will be part of informal writing. To say "it is for expressing feelings, but via a text message" is stupid because we have WORDS to do that. Hence, using emoticons in formal writing is just your signal to the world that you have no writing skills. It doesn't just apply to emoticons:

Informal:
"wtfm8?"

Formal:
"Sir, I am absolutely flabbergasted that you would insult my intelligence with such incoherent dribble."

Re:Informal usage only

[dj_tla]

"Sir, I am absolutely flabbergasted that you would insult my intelligence with such incoherent dribble."

Formal:
"I should hope you mean drivel, good sir, for I am neither slobbering like a hound nor partaking in a rousing game of basketball!"

Informal:
"lol, lern 2 english"

HAHA I HAVE YOU ALL UNDER MY CONTROL NOW!

[Broken scope]

(.Y.)

damnit /. This font doesn't do it right.

Re:Shocking!

[Anonymous Monkey]

As I said, my boss rags on me about my spelling ;)

Re:HAHA I HAVE YOU ALL UNDER MY CONTROL NOW!

[Anonymous Coward]

(>^_(>O.o)>

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[Anonymous Coward]

Hello, I am writing to you on behalf of my master Price Robert II of Bolivia :)

We seem to have undergone a slight mishap :( We have approximately 2 billion US dollars ( :D ) in our Swiss bank account, of which we are prepared to give you half if you assist us. Our chaffeur recently died of an allergic reaction to prawns, we have no money left to get the taxi to the bank from our hotel, and we can't be arsed walking -.-

Could you please send us $500 via PayPal to this address, to cover the cost of the taxi and maybe a short visit to a stripclub ( (.Y.) ;) ) on the way? We will then print out the PayPal monies using our PayPal Industrial Monies Printer \o/

Thankyou for any assistance you can provide *hug* We promise that we will get the money wired to you as soon as we reach the bank, you can trust us ^____________^

Re:In IT

[keeboo]

We use Jabber and(...)

Dear sir,

I formally inform you my apprecciation on your choice of IM systems.

Yours,
Keeboo Booboo

Ps.: :)

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[Anonymous Coward]

What you post on Slashdot doesn't answer the issue of "Emoticons in the Workplace".

On second thought, I guess it does. :)

Re:Meh.

[tb()ne]

But with bad news, it would help convey a sense of understanding or empathy. For example:

Mr. Johnson,

Your employment here at MegaCorp is terminated, effective immediately :-(

Director,
Human Resources

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[somersault]

I don't like your tone.. are you trying to say that I read comments too quickly, and get all huffy? How could you be so mean? *cries*

Re:Ms. Feldman needs to STFU and GBTW.

[Fozzyuw]

it's supposed to clarify the state of mind of the sender!

( o )_( o ) ... opps, Freudian slip.

'I mean, it's ludicrous," said Ms. Feldman, 25. "I'm not going to feel better about losing hundreds of thousands of dollars because someone puts a frown face to regretfully inform me.'"

A future copy of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, that slipped through a worm-hole, had this to say about Ms. Feldman...

Ms. Feldman at age 26, sued a former employee for sexual harassments due to lewd child-like graphical images, know at that time as "Emoticons". When a said former co-worker sent her an email with what he said was an arrow pointing at an important piece of information.

Claiming that was clearly a penis and not an arrow and that such combinations of characters show the posters state of mind, she did not much appreciate the overt suggestions thought that $10 millions dollars should make her feel much better.

Since then, all business replaced standard keyboards with interface boards that had specific words and generic phrases on them that only allowed a user to write back using those specific works, avoiding any further use of "emoticons" in the work place.

Coincidently, work productivity grew more than 500% as people stopped using Email at work.

Re:Meh.

[imadoofus]

But with bad news, it would help convey a sense of understanding or empathy. For example:

Mr. Johnson,

Your employment here at MegaCorp is terminated, effective immediately :-)

Director,
Human Resources

Re:Reintegrating RL Cues

[langelgjm]

naïve tweens

Clever, working the "penis and testicles" emoticon into your last sentence, there. Thought no one would notice, did you? You sick bastard.

Re:Shocking!

[thethibs]

You mean being of the first generation to grow up without TymeShare, BBSs and Usenet. One of the neat things about being really young is the illusion that your generation invented everything. (Although this doesn't explain Al Gore)

Re:So?

[veganboyjosh]

what kind of slashdotter weighs 300 lbs?

oh, wait.

Re:So?

[teh_chrizzle]

a short one on an intramural team.

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[Chysn]

Take Chernobyl as an example. Discussing the actual number of deaths is an emotionally charged issue. Simply stating that the actual death count was vastly exaggerated by the media and that only a few dozen people died will get you a response to the effect of "you heartless bastard!" before you can even get to the issue of the thousands of victims who had to be treated for thyroid cancer. "Softing" one's speech to the point of clinical analysis combined with with a "warm" understanding of other's feelings can help you get farther in a discussion of the issue than immediately offending them, unintentionally or otherwise.

Let's take that concept for a ride:

The actual death count at Chernobyl was vastly exaggerated by the media :-D . Only a few dozen people died :)

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[AndersOSU]

Clearly you're right. There is no possible way to convey sarcasm in text without including an emoticon.

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[prionic6]

You clearly understand the difference between sarcasm and irony.

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[halber_mensch]

Sprinkling the post with :-), :-P, or :-/ here and there can help get the correct tone across, even if it looks kind of lame. :-/

<?XML version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<tone xmlns="http://smileysarebad.com/xsd/tone">
<facetious>Hasn't XML, in its infinite glory in all applications, already given us a method that's a little less lame?</facetious>
</tone>

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[AKAImBatman]

<?XML version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<voice-impression>
<Teal-C>Indeed. Though is it not overly verbose for regular communications, Mr. Mensch?</Teal-C>
</voice-impression>

:-P

Re:Shocking!

[livingdeadline]

Does that mean you're enjoying some fresh vegetables? :P [urbandictionary.com]

Re:Shocking!

[Anonymous Coward]

I got an e-mail the other day from an insurance company that contained two :).

UR RATEZ WENT UP BY 22%!!! ZOMG WTF!!! :(
ON TEH BRITE SIZE OUR PROFITZ R UP BY 33%!!! LOL!!! :)

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[myowntrueself]

the actual death toll was (thankfully) closer to only a few dozen individuals. :-)"

You need to be careful how you terminate sentences, quoting etc with emoticons.

That just looked as if you said:

the actual death toll was (thankfully) closer to only a few dozen individuals. :-)" (slurp, yum! spaghetti!!)

Re:Shocking!

[Richard Steiner]

Even Doctor Who encountered cyber stuff earlier than that! :-) His first encounter with Cybermen was in 1966 according to this article. [wikipedia.org]

Re:Emotions are not mutually exclusive from work

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck you, asshole! ;-)

Re:HAHA I HAVE YOU ALL UNDER MY CONTROL NOW!

[kiddygrinder]

kirby on kirby action