Don't Dismiss Online Relationships As Fantasy

Columnist Regina Lynn has a look at how online relationships seem to be blurring the lines between fantasy and reality. "The common thread among these stories is that people get deeply involved in online relationships and make decisions about their real lives. Calling any of these online relationships 'fantasy' dismisses the impact they have on the people involved and on those closest to them... I have yet to encounter anything that challenges my core belief: Relationships are real wherever they form."

Myth

[MichailS]

You can't pick up and carry a player in Everquest.

Also, a paralyze works for like 5 seconds or some such.

Re:Who says online relationships are not real?

[4D6963]

Wait, are you trying to say that interacting with someone online and in real-life produces different experiences!? NO WAI! Does it also mean I must put clothes on, look presentable and not pick my nose when I'd hypothetically interact with people in the real world?

Mind boggling!

Re:living in the real world

[MobileTatsu-NJG]

"In the grandparent's example, it's easy for a 56 year old male to fake being a young female."

There's a simple test for that. Ask the lady to describe herself. If she says: "Well, I have big tits!" it's a dude.

Re:Smelled?

[Culture20]

Believe it or not, smell is very important to the emotions, and how you relate with someone.

First hand knowledge

[__aaqvdr516]

I, for lack of better wording, dated my wife for 3 years via instant messaging. I never physically saw her for the first 3 years we knew each other. I took a lot of crap from a lot of people. We met after 3 years and got married a month after that. We've now been married for just over a year and just had a child. Just because you haven't "seen" a person doesn't make it "fantasy". I know quite a few other people just like me who met their spouse online. Most don't go 3 years before meeting though ;)

Re:Real? - me too

[Christoph]

Maybe, maybe not. My cousin is married to a woman with whom he was in an online relationship.

I've been married for two years to a woman I met online (she was my fantasy, and still is). She emailed me as a stranger in 2003 to ask for help with a document on my website, and we became pen pals (platonic - there were 10,000 miles between us and we never expected to meet). After I went to another part of Asia, she offered to show me around her country...I stayed for six months, and we're back in the USA now.

However, I think there is still some stigma associated with meeting someone online. I am reluctant to tell people we met online without clarifying how.

Re:Who says online relationships are not real?

[e2d2]

That is all true, but there is certainly more information conveyed in a face to face meeting. It's up to the person receiving that information to actually use or choose to ignore it. Maybe one day all of that information will be conveyed using "tele-presence", but right now face to face is your best chance.

My personal experience? Don't let someone you truly don't know effect your emotions anymore than you can willingly handle, regardless of their physical location. And don't get involved in "internet drama".