Mom Blasts Ballmer Over Kid's Vista Experience

Lucas123 writes "While on stage at a Gartner's ITxpo conference today, Ballmer got an ear-full from the mother of a 13-year-old girl who said after installing Vista on her daughter's computer she decided only two days later to switch back to XP because Vista was so difficult. Ballmer defended Vista saying: 'Your daughter saw a lot of value'; to which the mother replied: 'She's 13.' Ballmer said that Vista is bigger than XP, and 'for some people that's an issue, and it's not going to get smaller in any significant way in SP1. But machines are constantly getting bigger, and [it's] probably important to remember that as well.' Says the mother: 'Good, I'll let you come in and install it for me.'"

funeral's saturday

[moderatorrater]

The mom's body was later found floating in a river. The cause of death: chair-related injuries.

Value = Gadgets

[langelgjm]

So the "value" that the woman's 13 year-old daughter saw were Vista's gadgets:

My daughter comes in one day and says, 'Hey Mom, my friend has Vista, and it has these neat little things called gadgets -- I need those.'

I'm glad the end-user is seeing so much value in Vista.

Yikes!

[Otter]

I can't say I'm looking forward to Mom's arrival in #gentoo...

Re:A lot of value...

[Tibor the Hun]

Quite clearly, you've never tried using gadgets. Gadgets are the paradigm-shift (I hope I can still use that word) we've all been waiting for.

Why I myself am about to ditch OS X in favor of gadget... err Vista.

If you can't see the insurmountable value of gadgets, and that their existence warrants a 7 year development cycle, multiple delays and feature reduction not to mention complete industry IT overhaul and user re-training, then, you sir are not a visionary, and should promptly log out of this site, and clear your history.

Good riddance I say!

Re:+1 Funny

[halcyon1234]

I think this article would have been funnier if it was as I first read it-- that STEVE'S Mom showed up and bitched him out.

Re:funeral's saturday

[elrous0]

No, MS has a strick policy against killing non-hookers.

Re:buy more chairs, Uncle Steve's coming over!

[griffjon]

User is complaining. Allow or Deny?

*click*

OS Wars

[Andrewkov]

Only on Slashdot do we discuss what is the most appropriate OS for a 13 year old girl. :)

Re:A lot of value...

[butterwise]

Whatever you say, Ballmer.

Most Secure version of Windows ever?

[andy9701]

One of the top requirements from IT customers was for "the most secure release of Windows you can humanly make," said Ballmer. "We have had better security, we have had fewer vulnerabilities, fewer issues with Windows Vista in its first six months than any OS that preceded it.

Doesn't this mean that the next version of Windows will be less secure than Vista? ;)

Re:A lot of value...

[cyber-dragon.net]

Ballmer? You are on /.? I didn't think you an Anonymous Coward though.

Re:Translated for the Lay

[jamstar7]

"Let's start with the end user. Your daughter saw a lot of value," said Ballmer.

Translation: We spent a lot of money packing it with bloat.

Translation: "Our Marketting Department spent 5 years changing the specs for the Engineering Department based on focus groups stuffed with hydrocephalic chimpanzees. We gotta get our money back before our stockholders show up with pitchforks & torches and lynch us."

"Users appreciate the value that we put into Vista," he said. But, as with earlier operating system releases, "there is always a tension between the value that end users see -- and frankly, that software developers see -- and the value that we can deliver to IT."

Translation: No matter how many versions we have, it's still one size fits all. The tension is generated because our developers don't lead normal lives and see things the way ordinary people do, which makes the end product obfuscated and confusing

Translation: "Our chimpanze focus groups are fickle as hell and constantly change their minds from minute to minute. This leads to developement team frustration, so we were forced to sedate them. That didn't work so well, so now we're trying lobotomies..."

"When we initially shipped, fewer device drivers were ready for Vista than I would have liked, but we constantly worked with the device vendors to get new drivers available and implemented through our Windows update service," he said.

Translation: We rushed it to market. If we had waited until it was really ready we would have seen our stock drop. The premature release was purely driven by profit motives rather than care for our customers.

Translation: "Our developers couldn't keep up with our changing specs. Don't blame us, blame the chimpanzes."

Re:Scary

[MuChild]

I bought Vista along with my new PC for gaming. It runs like a fascist on LSD. I understand that there must be a learning curve with any new software, but it crashed my computer to a Blue Screen of Death within minutes of booting it up for the first time. Now it likes to freeze up whenever I leave it alone for more than 20 minutes.

It's bloated beyond all reasonability. I don't see why they can't do what works best for them: copy the Mac OS as close as possible without getting sued (exept focus on making it stable) . I try not to hate Microsoft but I'm P.O'd that they would foist this shellac off on us.

Re:Am I reading that right?

[Anonymous Coward]

Left unsaid is Ballmer's thought: Who gives a damn, lady. We've already got your money for Windows, Windows, Windows, Windows Vista. Now shut up or I'll throw a chair at you. The nerve of you saying nonsense in front of our developers, developers, developers, developers. Damn, I wonder how this will affect our advertising, advertising, advertising, advertising.

Sensational

[Steauengeglase]

I only read:

Ballmer: "I love your daughter."
"She's 13," Genovese shot back.

I also think there was something in there about a chair being thrown and how he was going to bury her or ____ her or something.

Uh oh

[paranode]

Did Vista adopt CUPS?

Re:Still

[Jonny_eh]

You have us on pins and needles, what was the file format she couldn't use?

Computers getting bigger?

[asm2750]

Quite the opposite Mr. Ballmer, trends are pointing to even smaller computers.

But in your case, chairs can always be made bigger although you might want to watch out, you could herniate a disc.

Re:A lot of value...

[rtyhurst]

How dare you defend this kid for not seeing that Vista is the Next Coming?

I *want* swooshy 3-D graphics stolen directly from OS X!

I *want* the Blue Screen of Death in 5.1 surround-sound!

I *want* to play solitaire on an x86 box that has 8 gigs of RAM and a 200 gig hard drive!

You sir, are an anti-Windite!

mysterious

[CmdrGravy]

A mysterious, yet somehow incompatible, format you don't bother mentioning, mysterious. Very mysterious.

Re:A lot of value...

[Hatta]

I guess we now know why Inspector Gadget's gadgets were always malfunctioning. They were running vista. Good thing Penny runs linux.

Re:A lot of value...

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope he runs with Ron Paul, just to throw the Slashdotter into a connundrum.

That or Obama, so they can have "Oballmer" signs.

Obligatory Neil Stephenson:

[Mongoose Disciple]

This reminds me of Stephenson's In The Beginning There Was The Command Line [cryptonomicon.com], which is a little dated now but still pretty funny. He describes the various OSes as different car dealerships, and Windows as an unreliable station wagon that for some reason 90% of the potential customers buy.

"With one exception, that is: Linux, which is right next door, and which is not a business at all. It's a bunch of RVs, yurts, tepees, and geodesic domes set up in a field and organized by consensus. The people who live there are making tanks. These are not old-fashioned, cast-iron Soviet tanks; these are more like the M1 tanks of the U.S. Army, made of space-age materials and jammed with sophisticated technology from one end to the other. But they are better than Army tanks. They've been modified in such a way that they never, ever break down, are light and maneuverable enough to use on ordinary streets, and use no more fuel than a subcompact car. These tanks are being cranked out, on the spot, at a terrific pace, and a vast number of them are lined up along the edge of the road with keys in the ignition. Anyone who wants can simply climb into one and drive it away for free."

And:

"The group giving away the free tanks only stays alive because it is staffed by volunteers, who are lined up at the edge of the street with bullhorns, trying to draw customers' attention to this incredible situation. A typical conversation goes something like this:

Hacker with bullhorn: "Save your money! Accept one of our free tanks! It is invulnerable, and can drive across rocks and swamps at ninety miles an hour while getting a hundred miles to the gallon!"

Prospective station wagon buyer: "I know what you say is true...but...er...I don't know how to maintain a tank!"

Bullhorn: "You don't know how to maintain a station wagon either!"

Buyer: "But this dealership has mechanics on staff. If something goes wrong with my station wagon, I can take a day off work, bring it here, and pay them to work on it while I sit in the waiting room for hours, listening to elevator music."

Bullhorn: "But if you accept one of our free tanks we will send volunteers to your house to fix it for free while you sleep!"

Buyer: "Stay away from my house, you freak!"

Bullhorn: "But..."

Buyer: "Can't you see that everyone is buying station wagons?""

Re:Still

[eln]

You think that's bad? I installed Ubuntu, and not only did it fail to recognize my sound card, but it also stole my wallet, beat my wife, and impregnated my dog (and he's a boy!). Figuring that these were just the usual install problems, I decided to leave it running for a couple of days to see if things improved. Big mistake. During the night, Ubuntu planted marijuana all over my house and called the ATF. Luckily, it also blew up my car, the sound of which woke me up in time to escape. Now I'm living in a shack in Tierra del Fuego on the run from an international crime syndicate after Ubuntu stole my identity, ran away with my wife, and stole 300 kilos of Colombian nose candy from them.

I think I've had enough of Ubuntu. I'm going to try Gentoo next.

Re:A lot of value...

[Anonymous Coward]

Ballmer? You are on /.? I didn't think you an Anonymous Coward though.

*hurls tiny, shuriken-like chair at your face*

Re:Still

[walt-sjc]

Well the problem is not Ubuntu. My wife MUCH prefers Linux over Windows. Of course she also worked at Sun for 10 years. You must have one of those "WinWives" - you know, kinda like the old Winmodems? Time to upgrade dude... :-)

Re:Still

[Red Flayer]

In my experience, if you want your wife to stop bugging you about computer problems, buy her a Mac.

Well, my experience indicates that if you want your wife to stop bugging you, you should give her to Mac.

That is, if you know a guy named Mac, otherwise you may need to give her to Mike or John.

Re:Still

[Joe Tie.]

I switched my wife's to kubuntu a couple years back, and it took her about a day to get used to it. Actually, we weren't married at that point yet. Sometimes I half think she wanted to ensure a contractual obligation for tech support. So I guess it's girlfriend's computer yes, wife's computer no.

Re:Still

[JSG]

I had to look up ATF (I'm not from 'round there). BATF - Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms. Interesting combination. I don't know where to start taking the piss.

Interestingly enough, if you install Gentoo it will not only blow up your car but actually build you a new one.

From raw materials.

Make sure you specify USE="steeringwheel trunk windshield". You'll have to wait a while though but it will be worth it. It will rebuild itself every week or so and occasionally change colour for no accountable reason.

After three years you will discover that USE="-clutch" would have been a good idea when it suddenly becomes a manual shift without warning. You should have paid attention to the build logs when emerging --deep --newuse world. Oh, and it goes like stink most of the time. Ok so sometimes you have to fix it yourself by renting a foundry and full workshop and talking to Formula 1 mechanics but hey, this is a ~x86 car.

Re:Obligatory Neil Stephenson:

[smackt4rd]

Yeah, except you have to drive the tank with a command line instead of a steering wheel/gas pedal/brake. :)

Re:+1 Funny

[graviplana]

"..According to our website stats Windows Vista market now share is -- wait for it -- 11%" Wow, Netcraft is sure accurate. I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Re:Still

[wcrowe]

Can't argue with that one. The wife liked my iMac so much, she took it in the divorce.

There are two fatal blunders a man can make:
1. Never start a land war in Asia
2. Never try to divorce a divorce lawyer

Re:Still

[PaulMorel]

You must be new to this game. Here let me help you with some other good ones: Yes, she looks good in that outfit. Yes, you like what she made for dinner... You kind of like it burnt anyway. Yes, she is still as attractive as the day you met. No, you don't mind Hugh Grant movies. Yes, you like her family. Of course that restaurant is fine with you. Yes you have time to get those chores done this weekend. If you repeat those things enough, you may just get away with 3 computers, 4 remote controls, a basement full of electronics, and an occasional roll in the hay.

Re:+1 Funny

[AJWM]

According to our website stats Windows Vista market now share is -- wait for it -- 11%

Yeah, but if you're running a support site for Vista you'd expect the stats to be skewed. It'd probably be even higher if most of the users didn't have to revert back to XP to be able to connect to your website at all.

(Joke, but it illustrates the value of such anecdotes.)

Re:+1 Funny

[Greyfox]

That would be funny. I think it would go something like this...

Mrs. Ballmer: Stevie! Stevie! Your operating system SUCKS! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Steve: Mooooom! I'm doing a THING right now! Can't this wait? I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Mrs. Ballmer: No! It's too big and it's bloated and it SUCKS! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Steve: FINE! I'll send someone over to install it for you! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Mrs. Ballmer: Fine, honey! Will you be coming over tonight? I'm making spaghetti! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Steve: Ooh! I love your spaghetti! I'll be over around 7! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)
Mrs. Ballmer: Wonderful! We'll see you there! I'm going to F***ing KILL YOU! (Throws chair)(Exits)

Re:Still

[Soporific]

I knew it was buggy, it was supposed to call the DEA!

~S

Re:+1 Funny

[Soul-Burn666]

Somewhere way down deep in the org chart someone was tasked with finding data that supports the assertion that Vista is the greatest OS ever.

Vista actually is the greatest OS ever, if you choose the definition where greatest means largest. ;)

Re:Still

[Thaelon]

2. Never marry a divorce lawyer

There, fixed that for ya.

Re:Still

[HungWeiLo]

Want piece in the bedroom? Pay attention to the wife and give her good service.

Wow! A recursive Freudian slip!

Re:Still

[laffer1]

Careful. With gentoo you have to plant your own pot, beat your own wife, and steal your own wallet. I don't know if you can even do the dog thing with it.

Re:Still

[Red Flayer]

I wasn't going to post on this thread because I didn't feel like that was much of a contribution, but her father IS actually called 'Mac.'

So, Mac gave her away to you... I think you're doing it wrong.

Have you tried giving her back?

This might keep her from complaining to you about her computer.

Re:Still

[Scarletdown]

During the night, Ubuntu planted marijuana all over my house and called the ATF. Luckily, it also blew up my car, the sound of which woke me up in time to escape.

At least Ubuntu did it the right way. Had it been Windows, it would have burned its lips on the exhaust pipe when it tried to blow up your car.

Re:Why I am a (Mac/Linux/Fill-in-the-Blank) user

[Anonymous Coward]

Right, because Apple would never consider foisting regularly scheduled forced upgrades on their their users.

Re:Still

[Thyrteen]

3 Computers? 4 Remotes? I live in a room in my parents house and I easily meet this limitation in a 12x15' room. And no, I don't even have a TV in there. Gawd, I'm never getting married!

Re:A lot of value...

[Hucko]

Damn IT!! I want a reason to be anonymous too!

Re:Still

[UbuntuDupe]

Funny, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if that happened the next time I tried to install it.

"It is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you call 555-8475 and tell the person you're going to tell the cops about his operation, and provide your address."

hmm...

*** One week later ***

"Dude, you're a fucking asshole. You called up a drug dealer while installing Ubuntu, threatened to narc, told him your address, nearly got killed, then mouthed off at the forum when someone suggested using the CD burner at the US embassy in Columbia?"

Re:+1 Funny

[mad flyer]

Dude... that means that only 11% of vista users can actually use vista to surf the web and search troubleshooting tips about vista's other bugs and annoyance...
I'm speechless...

More people should speak up

[Askmum]

I've always wondered why Ballmer and the other Microsoft guys don't get more lip from the audience at conferences. I mean, those conferences apparently are jam packed with Microsoft fanboys, or why else don't you ever hear of things like this? How in the hell is it possible that the first thing you hear about it is a mother pissed off about her child's Vista "experience"?

Or are all the anti-Microsoft people precautionally tasered before the conference?

getting bigger

[telbij]

But machines are constantly getting bigger

Much like Ballmer himself.