Little Old Lady Hammers Comcast

WheezyJoe writes "The Washington Post reports that a little old lady took a hammer to Comcast. Apparently fed up with the lousy service she received from a botched Comcast installation of "triple-play", and a completely humiliating experience at a customer service center, 75-year-old Mona "The Hammer" Shaw took her claw hammer back to the customer service center and bludgeoned the office equipment into tiny plastic pieces."

Dear Mona

[binarybum]

Have you considered the washington post as your next victim? I think we'd all appreciate someone sending them a clear message about flagrantly unnecessary pagination.

"I can't decide whether you shoud live or die..."

[amccaf1]

Damn.

I can't figure out whether I want to go out and smash office equipment with a hammer, or I want this woman to come in and smash my office equipment with a hammer.

Which end of this fight is the right end? I CAN'T DECIDE!!

The greatest story ever written

[Raineer]

Please let this woman have a made-for-TV movie made of her life.

coincidence.

[User 956]

75-year-old Mona "The Hammer" Shaw took her claw hammer back to the customer service center and bludgeoned the office equipment into tiny plastic pieces.

Funny story, Tom Delay got his nickname [amazon.com] the same way.

Oh hammer...

[jberryman]

is there no problem you can't solve?

Well she IS 75

[causality]

75-year-old Mona "The Hammer" Shaw took her claw hammer back to the customer service center and bludgeoned the office equipment into tiny plastic pieces."

She's rather old, so I guess the office equipment was easier for her to catch than the employees.

STOP

[Sneakernets]

HAMMERTIME!

(now discussion can continue as normal.)

Re:Comcast Is Deluded

[amccaf1]

f Comcast thinks an "overwhelming majority" of their 25 million customers are very satisfied with their service, they'got their heads in the sand. I'll bet you most of them have gripes enough to be dissatisfied, just not enough to switch to DirecTV or Dish Network.

There's an old joke:

Two guys are out camping... Suddenly they hear the sounds of a tiger outside their tent.

The two guys look at each other.

One man starts putting his running shoes on.

Despite the situation, his friend starts chuckling at him. "What are you thinking? You can't outrun a tiger!"

The man looks back at his friend and says, "I don't have to outrun... the tiger."

-------

Like you say. Comcast doesn't have to be the best. They just have to outrace Direct TV and Dish Network.

Re:Oh hammer...

[LynnwoodRooster]

The Old Handyman's Maxim:

All tools are hammers except chisels which are screwdrivers.

Mona's Old Claw Hammer

[kongit]

Comcast's miserable but completely irresitable
Bringing TV to the home
Late nights all alone with the boob tube
Ohh-oh-oh-oh...

Mona shaw is getting really raw
and calls them on the phone
"can you fix my cable you
I-dee-ots?"

But she's getting nowhere
so she takes her hammer there...


Bang, bang, Mona's old claw hammer
Came down upon their stuff
Bang, bang, Mona's old claw hammer
Made their office look real rough

That's not all...

[SailorSpork]

The best part about the article is the end, when the police fine her $345 (likely less than the cost of the equipment she smashed) and gave her the hammer back. Is there a lighter slap-on-the-wrist punishment? The police must be Comcast subscribers too.

Tiger

[Paul_Hindt]

Sorry Roger, you tiger now.

The Elderly

[gaelfx]

How many times must people be told? Don't mess with the elderly! I mean, these people actually go out and vote. You just watch, one day there will be a curfew and all those under 70 will be in-home, lights-out at 5:30 sharp.

CANT TOUCH THIS!

[kn0tw0rk]

Its copyrighted and I fear lawyers from the RIAA

Re:I'm entirely happy with Comcast.

[epp_b]

Internet + SD cable. No box. I think I get great speed because I'm in the city. Never had an issue.

Hey, that's cool! Comcast's only satisfied customer is a Slashdotter!

Re:Well she IS 75

[jamesh]

That was my first thought too... "But officer, you must see that I had no choice but to start hitting the equipment. The employees wouldn't stay still while I got a decent swing".

I for one welcome our hammer wielding little old overladies.

Reminds me of a joke

[guardiangod]

here [jumbojoke.com]

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties -- or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet servers downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm-midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum -- incompetents of the highest order.

British Telecom -- wankers though they are -- shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver -- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief -- quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected wi

I see this coming...

[PineGreen]

Mona "the Hammer" Shaw vs Steve "the Chair" Ballmer.

Just imagine!

Re:Comcast Is Deluded

[wickedskaman]

So... they were camping in India... or with Sigfried and Roy?

Re:Comcast Is Deluded

[jalet]

Reminds me of another camping joke :

Two guys are out camping... During the night, one of them hears something and asks the other one :

    - Are you masturbating ???
    - Yes
    - Please could you do this with your own cock ?

Yes but....

[codeButcher]

....will Comcast blend?

Re:Oh hammer...

[RincewindTVD]

You know the old saying...
If all you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look like a messiah.

Re:Comcast Is Deluded

[Twin Pines Mall]

How friggin dare anyone out there make fun of Comcast after all she's been through. She lost their call center is jalalabad, they went through a couple regulation issues. This lady turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now shes putting our equipment through a Hammer. All you people care about is..... readers and making money off of them. SHE'S A HUMAN! What you don't realize is that Comcast is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about her. She hasn't performed in years. Her song is called "Please hold while we process your call, this call may be monitored for quality purposes" " for a reason because all you people want is MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE. LEAVE HER ALONE! You are lucky she even performed BASTARDS! LEEEAVE COMCAST ALLLLLONE!.....Please. Perez Hilton talked about professionalism and said if Comcast was a professional she would've pulled it off no matter what. Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publically bash someone who is going through a hard time. Leave Comcast Alone Please.... Leave Comcast alone...right now....I mean it. Anyone that has a problem with her you deal with me, beacuse she is not well right now. leave her alone

Re:Local Comcast office vs. Post Office

[Yetihehe]

So actually they have to PAY YOU $1 for you to watch their CableTV. It's so much crap it has negative value.

That's nothing!

[John Pfeiffer]

I've got Verizon DSL/Phone with no CATV, and Comcast STILL managed to screw me badly!

A couple weeks ago, in the middle of the afternoon, my internet connection started crapping all sorts of madness. Disconnecting constantly, poor throughput... I thought maybe the line was really noisy or something, so I pick up the phone... No dial tone.

It took a couple hours to piece together some of the information in my head. Hearing someone say something about cable while standing outside a new tenant's apartment across the hall, and later going to the top of the stairs and coming back down. (The box where all our phonelines come in is on the third floor, at the top of the stairs)

With this information, I go up and check the box... It's closed. I take the screw out and open it, the clasp that holds everything down in one of the blocks pops open on its own... Closer inspection reveals a broken retaining tab. (Later found on the floor.) One cordless phone handset, and a little wiggling of wirey bits later, I am able to determine that this unmarked and now quite fscked connection is my line. So I taped the clasp down with some gaffer's tape, taped a little ball of tape to the back so the door puts pressure on it, marked the thing correctly, and wandered back to my apartment grumbling about how it shouldn't be illegal to light stupid people on fire.

After talking to the new tenant, he confirmed that the Comcast technician said he had to make sure there was a phone line (wtf?!), and did in fact go play about in the box.

Re:Mona's Old Claw Hammer

[PlatyPaul]

If I had a hammer
Comcast would be running
Comcast would be screaming
All over this land
I'd hammer their servers
I'd hammer their call desk
I'd hammer their bullshit-filled customer service
All over this land

If I had an Uzi....

(with my apologies to Pete Seeger and Lee Hays [wikipedia.org])

Re:That's not all...

[gaspar ilom]

She would, but she is experiencing difficulty getting online.

Re:The Solution is Clear.

[IthnkImParanoid]

All of that in conjunction wth the audio messages which play over an active television have direct access to the subconscious. No matter how aware one is, the programming happens. No amount of TV viewing is 'safe', because the sinister messages flow at a constant rate and no amount of will power or critical discernment can prevent them from affecting you.

I see you've taken the time you would have spent watching tv and invested it into becoming completely batshit fucking insane.