Microsoft Battles Vista Perception With Prizes 342
LambAndMint writes "In what can only be described as an act of utter desperation to overcome Vista's mostly negative public perception issues, Microsoft has put together an online "Fact or Fiction" quiz about Windows Vista. Every person who submits themselves to Microsoft indoctrination gets a free shirt and the chance to win a $15,000 prize. Some of the supposed 'facts' will make you feel like you're reading a document from an alternate reality. Get ready to get a job as a computer salesman for a mass-market retailer as you go through the quiz."
All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
Sheesh. (Score:5, Funny)
And the grand prize...... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Propaganda (Score:3, Funny)
I went to Camp Microsoft... (Score:5, Funny)
(But the T-Shirt wasn't half bad)
Re:Sheesh. (Score:5, Funny)
Uhh... Don't mind the burning fuselage, it's a feature!
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
How Software Companies Die (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Propaganda (Score:5, Funny)
It's like one of those "best mix" radio stations (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft: The most free money every hour!
Fact or fiction (Score:5, Funny)
[ ] Fact
[x] Fiction
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
I dropped an "r" or two when I first read that. It made better sense at first, honestly.
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
You have to type in Allow before you can put it on.
Can only be washed in Microsoft approved detergent
And isn't compatible with any other clothes I own.
I'll stick with my plain white open source t-shirt
It's a Silverlight app (Score:5, Funny)
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fact or fiction (Score:5, Funny)
[ ] Fact
[x] Fiction
Fun (Score:5, Funny)
Q: Vista faces significant compatibility issues with hardware devices
A: Fact!
MS: Are you 100% sure? We supported 1.4M devices at launch and have doubled that number since then. Are you sure
YES / NO
A: YES
MS: You're wrong WRONG! WRONG! Too stoopid to have a computer TRY AGAIN
Q: Vista faces significant compatibility issues with hardware devices
I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that.
The shirt's source pattern? (Score:3, Funny)
####
####
####
Silverlight (Score:5, Funny)
Is it equally devastating to both werewolves and vampires?
Got them all correct (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required! (Score:3, Funny)
No kidding, it's like watching the White House press secretary.
Re:Propaganda (Score:3, Funny)
If we were discussing anything other than Vista, I'd correct your spelling.
Fact or Fiction? (Score:4, Funny)
Where's the CowboyNeal option?
Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required! (Score:5, Funny)
Sold more copies of what? XP?
It's the hardware devices that have Compatibility issues with Vista.
Similarly, it's the applications which have trouble integrating with Vista.
How low can you go?
Compared to the hardware you'll need, the OS is downright cheap!
Microsoft is a business, and they certainly like it!
This one's correct, because it is reliable -- reliably slow.
Due to the size of these issues, this "rectification" has produced many goatse look-alikes.
You can't get in trouble online if the computer doesn't work.
I'd say it'll take until the second or third.
But the snarky comments are all mine.
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
The first was: you're trying to get a free t-shirt. Cancel or Allow?
Re:Sheesh. (Score:5, Funny)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
What if Operating Systems Were Airlines?
DOS Airlines
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again jump on again, and so on.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, stewardesses, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look the same, act the same, and talk the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are told you don't need to know, don't want to know, and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.
Unix Airlines
Each passenger brings a piece of the airplane and a box of tools to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, they build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.
OS/2 Airlines
The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologising profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Once they finally finished you're offered a flight at reduced cost. To board the plane, you have your ticket stamped ten different times by standing in ten different lines. Then you fill our a form showing where you want to sit and whether the plane should look and feel like an ocean liner, a passenger train or a bus. If you succeed in getting on the plane and the plane succeeds in taking off the ground, you have a wonderful trip...except for the time when the rudder and flaps get frozen in position, in which case you will just have time to say your prayers and get in crash position.
Wings of OS/400
The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.
Mach Airlines
There is no airplane. The passengers gather and shout for an airplane, then wait and wait and wait and wait. A bunch of people come, each carrying one piece of the plane with them. These people all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they're building. The plane finally takes off, leaving the passengers on the ground waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. After the plane lands, the pilot telephones the passengers at the departing airport to inform them that they have arrived.
Newton Airlines
After buying your ticket 18 months in advance, you finally get to board the plane. Upon boarding the plane you are asked your name. After 6 times, the crew member recognizes your name and then you are allowed to take your seat. As you are getting ready to take your seat, th
Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:All I read was... (Score:3, Funny)
Is far too big to fit on you.
Re:Silverlight (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:All I read was... (Score:4, Funny)
First prize is a copy of Vista (Score:5, Funny)
Vista is FAIL! (Score:2, Funny)
Vista is FAIL - http://wwwfail.com/?url=microsoft.com%2Fvista [wwwfail.com]
An Ignorant Buffoon has qualified (Score:5, Funny)
I have a certificate on my wall that states "This certifies that An Ignorant Buffoon has reached the level of excellence to qualify as a Vista Certified Salesperson".
(I'm paraphrasing as I'm not in the office at the moment).
Re:All I read was... (Score:3, Funny)
Fee shirt? I don't think that makes much sense, either.
Re:All I read was... (Score:4, Funny)
Where was I? Australia. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Fact or fiction (Score:2, Funny)
[X] Fact
[X] Fiction
Re:Why do they care about perception? (Score:4, Funny)
Huh? Didn't you read Microsoft's answers to the Microsoft Vista quiz??!
Windows Vista faces significant issues in terms of integrating with other software applications. Also fiction!!!
I think whoever did your planning needs to re-take the quiz so they can learn the real truth. Microsoft's own quiz proves you wrong. Smackdown!
Re:All I read was... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The shirt's source pattern? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
What to do with your shirts. (Score:5, Funny)
Donate your shirt to charity. Your feelings will go like this:
Living well is good revenge. Being kind can be better. You will never get back the time you wasted but someone can make good use of the results.
Re:All I read was... (Score:2, Funny)
The free shirt identifies you as a "Windows Vista Advisor".
If the label fits... I often advise people to avoid Vista.
Re:Sheesh. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Propaganda (Score:3, Funny)
What are you complaining about? You Canadians have lots of stuff that Australians don't have, like maple syrup and Dave Foley.
Say, while you're here, I've got a proposition. We'll trade you North Dakota and Michigan's Upper Peninsula for British Columbia. What do you say? OK, we'll throw in this set of steak knives, too.
* * * * *
Canadians are just Americans with better haircuts.
Re:All I read was... (Score:5, Funny)
I've open-sourced my Linux shirts.
Just copy the text below into a word-processor, scale it up to your shirt size, and print it onto the shirt.
You can thank me later.
Re:Good luck with your free shirt... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Good luck with your free shirt... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Cheat Sheet! No Silverlight Required! (Score:3, Funny)
There is a faint chance that someone will be able to tell a bad application's UAC warnings apart from those of a good application. (You are trying to insert a line break. [Cancel] [Allow])
(You are trying to insert a line break. [Cancel] [Allow])
I think UAC might reduce the danger posed from worms etc. by at least an infinitesimal amount. (You are trying to click a button. [Cancel] [Allow]) (The button you have clicked might do something, such as submitting data to a remote server. [Cancel] [Allow]) (UAC will display a warning message now. [Okay]) (You are possibly trying to submit data to a remote server. If this is not the case, please click Cancel immediately. [Cancel] [Allow])