SCO Goes Private With $100 Million Backing

AmIAnAi writes "Just when you thought it was all over, the SCO story takes a new twist. SCO has received $100 million financing from Stephen Norris Capital Partners to get them out of Chapter 11 and go private 'The move gives Stephen Norris, whose namesake founder was a co-founder of private equity giant The Carlyle Group, a controlling interest in SCO, which now has a platform to continue its court battle with Novell Inc. over royalties from the Unix server operating system, SCO's main business ... According to a statement from the company, SNCP already has a business plan for SCO that includes pursuing its legal claims.'"

damn Damn DAMN!

[grub]

Man oh man...

This news completely ruins my day.

I just know that tonight while my lady is receiving the annual ~Valentine Fisting~ my mind will be on SCO and their ridiculous lawsuits, not on the work at hand. She'll know something is bugging me, get pissed off and make me stop. I'll have KY to my elbows for nothing.

Thanks SCO.

Yikes

[locokamil]

Man oh man, talk about a massive waste of money. Does SCO even produce anything anymore? I thought SCO was basically Darl in a hotel room somewhere with two of hookers doubling as his "legal team"...

Obligatory

[Philodoxx]

Step 1. Pile money onto a sinking ship

Step 2. ???

Step 3. Profit!

I have a very poor financial outlook for the near future, why can't somebody give me $100 million? Hell, I'll use that to make legal claims about somebody else's IP! I can probably even develop an operating system nobody in their right mind would use.

Norris?

[DoofusOfDeath]

When I mis-read it, I thought: "Chuck Norris can make SCO viable!".

I'm glad it's just *Stephen* Norris.

$100 Million

[C_Kode]

Lets take inventory.

* Taking a beating in court.
* Its only valid business is a dying operating system.
* Your customers and pretty the entire tech industry hates you.
* The company is in chapter 11.
* The company has a negative cash flow.
* The judge in your case appears to hate you because of your court practices.
* I hate you.

Yeah, lets throw $100 million at them...

Oh good

[Morkano]

Oh good, looks like Novell and IBM can acually get some money out of SCO now.

oblig

[nih]

i for one welcome our new SCO rescuing overlo...no, wait, ffs!

Re:Look for more Microsoft money behind

[Captain Splendid]

Naw, this is just the continued confluence of two shitty (and shittily implemented) concepts: patents and capitalism, coming together to form one big hole of crap.

Y'know, this is the first time I wish Slashdot was more like fark, so I could post that pic of the guy saying "Aw geez, not this shit again!"

Re:Brilliant!

[eln]

They're business plan isn't ONLY suing IBM. From what I can gather from the article, it's a brilliant and guaranteed to succeed three-pronged approach involving suing IBM, suing Novell, and selling a product no one has used for 15 years. They can't lose!

bad slasher flick

[russ1337]

Its like some really bad slasher flick where the bad guy just..... won't.... fucking.... die...., and the audience gets tired of all the inventive ways in which they are bought back to life....

Only thing left...

[WarJolt]

After a nuclear holocost the only thing left will be cockroaches, twinkies and SCO. If you chop off the heads of SCO lawyers they continue to live for a week. Just when you think they're dead those tiny little litigating arms start moving again.

Re:Look for more Microsoft money behind

[Clover_Kicker]

Anyone who wants those lawyers busy on THOSE suits, and not THESE suits...

Yeah, there's such a shortage of lawyers.

Re:Calm down, everyone

[Anonymous Coward]

>we should look for who is back-stoping the investment

I should be obvious: PJ is back-stopping it to keep the gravy train rolling.

Norris won't sue Novell or IBM

[Peter Trepan]

He'll just roundhouse kick them until they sue themselves.

Re:damn Damn DAMN!

[Nimey]

I'll have KY to my elbows for nothing.

That's no lady, that's a goatse!

Re:Wrong. That's the Bushes behind that move.

[sentientbeing]

Oh yeah? Well weve got Linus, the south African spaceman dude and that guy with the long hair
 
The presidents are toast.

Re:Brilliant!

[MsGeek]

No, they have other things in mind [flickr.com], like their new line of Japanese food containers! Yes, it's true! SCO is now in the Bento business!

SCO Sitcom

[EEPROMS]

Watching the shenanigans of SCO has turned into the geek equivalent of Dallas [wikipedia.org] for geeks.

This week on SCO
Novel "oh my god!, Im sure I killed him"
SCO "Im baaaaack and I have 100 million dollars"
Red Hat "what crack monkey gave him money ?"

Re:Look for more Microsoft money behind

[dgatwood]

http://www.afunnystuff.com/pictures/Forum-pics/Aw-jeez-not-this-shit-again.html [afunnystuff.com]

I also think this one is appropriate:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v694/unclespellbinder/Animated/beating-a-dead-horse.gif [photobucket.com]

Re:Norris won't sue Novell or IBM

[CODiNE]

Your usage of the word "until" seems to imply that Chuck needs to kick more than once. You are sadly mistaken.

Re:SCO Sitcom

[EEPROMS]

Meanwhile in the Valley

IBM "Im going to fist you till you scream Oracle"
Oracle "your disgusting, say you truly want me again that turns me on"
IBM "I....."
[PAUSE]
Oracle "whats wrong ?"
IBM "I just felt a stirring in the source.... almost like millions of programmers said WTF!!"

Re:Obligatory

[Anonymous Coward]

Step 1. Pile money onto a sinking ship

Step 2. ???

Step 3. Profit!

Enough with the vista jokes already!

Re:Brilliant!

[glittalogik]

The hundred million dollars isn't for litigation, it's to cover the electricity required to shred every incriminating document in the building.

Re:Wrong. That's the Bushes behind that move.

[CrazedWalrus]

Holy shit. The Carlyle Group is the Illuminati! ;-)

Re:It gets better

[Marcos Eliziario]

US$100m isn't already serious money?

Poors.... They always amaze me with such comments.
When I read such statements, I seriously consider stopping reading /.
A life of yatches, women, Lamborghinis, women, gulfstream jets, women, casinos and women is already hard enough without seeing such kind of king.

Re:It gets better

[DrSkwid]

I'm so poor, I've never even heard of yatches!

Re:Irrational exuberance... or?

[phrostie]

maybe they want a tax credit for donating to a non-profit organization

Re:Wrong. That's the Bushes behind that move.

[Alsee]

That's just what they want you to think.

-

Re:Calm down, everyone

[TheLinuxSRC]

Remember, there were some theories in 2003 that SCO had filed the initial $1 billion suit as a ploy to get purchased by IBM. IBM could have ended it there with a purchase, which might have cost them less in the long run than paying their lawyers, and would have arguably gained them some assets. Instead they recognized the larger issues at stake and took a principled stand, fighting this out so that all the facts of the case would come to light (and the facts rarely flatter SCO).

As much as I would like to believe that IBM had altruistic interests in taking this to court, I find that hard to believe. First of all that is a hard sell to the board of directors. More importantly though is the fact that IBM did not want to set a precedent of buying up companies that sue them. In fact, I would go so far as to say that IBM went to court simply to give any other company considering this tactic a reason to not proceed. There is a reason that IBM's lawyers are referred to as the Nazgul. [wikipedia.org]

I was startled to hear the thundering of hooves. Having lived near Armonk, NY all my life, I had never heard such a sound before.
"What is that horrible sound?"
"That is the sound of the Black Steeds riding west from Armonk."
"The Black Steeds?"
"The Nazgul. They once were men. Now they are neither dead nor alive. They are IBM's attorneys."

Re:Wrong. That's the Bushes behind that move.

[pionzypher]

Dear sentientbeing,

Thank you dear sir for the shower of soda.

Yours Truly,
pionzyphers keyboard.

Re:Brilliant!

[Nimey]

Chairs. Lots of chairs.

Re:Look for more Microsoft money behind

[iocat]

You're looking at this the wrong way. Don't think of it as SCO getting funding to continue to irritate all of us, think of it as a new lease of life for GrokLaw!!

Works for me.

[Anonymous Coward]

This means there's more money around for people to collect when we take SCO to court for its wrongful actions. Assuming, of course, there's anything left after IBM and Novell are done with them. So basically these guys who are investing in SCO are really just handing a bunch of money to Novell and IBM.