Vista Service Pack 1 Is Out

superglaze writes "What's to say? After much prevaricating and slipping out then pulling back, the first service pack for Windows Vista has actually been released. It's available for download now via Microsoft's sites, with an auto-update rollout scheduled for next month, and it should hit Amazon's virtual shelves on Wednesday."

"Clippy" is back . . .

[StefanJ]

. . . and now he's mad.

Um. Seriously. I'm glad there's a service pack out. But I'm going to wait a few weeks and see if it causes USB drives to melt, or sends your life history to the Ministry of Total Information Awareness.

hmm...

[drik00]

I have a very bad feeling about this.

OR

I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. ...its a toss up.

Ohhhh this should make my job so much easier!

[Anonymous Coward]

I just know this will fix all the problem, I just know it.

Poor Vista.

[Missing_dc]

"After much prevaricating and slipping out then pulling back, the first service pack for Windows Vista....."

sounds like an awful lover.

Unfortunately...

[Anonymous Coward]

No vista users will actually be able to download it due to file copy delays... so we'll wait for it to come out on disk.

Re:Possible Tags

[192939495969798999]

Don't forget the slew of jokes that Vista SP1 will just reinstall XP...

Learn a lesson Microsoft!!!

[get quad]

Few people play Quake 4 today as it was released roughly 1.5 years before it was ready for retail, then Activision expected the public to become guinea pig beta testers for a half-assed product. Microsoft should take a lesson, as Vista has become the same laughing stock as a video game for the exact same reasons. In other words, software companies need to make this quip their gospel: An Old Bull and a Young Bull were standing at the top of a hill overlooking a large meadow full of cows. The Young Bull says excitedly, "Let's run down there and fuck us a cow!" "No, son", says the Old Bull, "let's WALK down there and fuck them all."

Re:So how long do I wait?

[gQuigs]

Wait until DNF is released.

Re:So how long do I wait?

[eln]

Wait until it shows up in auto-update in a month would be my advice. That should give plenty of time for the tech rags to post glowing reviews of how it revolutionizes computing, solves world hunger, and cures male pattern baldness. Likewise, it will give Slashdot plenty of time to report that it makes computers crash, steals peoples' wallets, has sex with their dogs, and sets their house on fire.

You know, the usual Microsoft software update cycle.

Re:"Clippy" is back . . .

[GeckoAddict]

Ok that's funny.... somehow I just pictured the clippy busting down the door holding a rocket launcher as the move voice over guy says something about 'Back for revenge'

With apologies to Slayer...

[rob1980]

God Hates Us All.

Re:Auto upbreak.

[WhatAmIDoingHere]

"Things seem 'faster', copying files, something that use to take weeks now takes as long as it should."

Does Internet Explorer feel 'snappier'?

Re:Auto upbreak.

[PopeRatzo]

something that use to take weeks now takes as long as it should.

I still get the random spoolsv crashing for no reason but that was there before SP1.

Man, you make Vista sound really great. I'm gonna run out and buy a copy!

Re:Slow install

[Anonymous Coward]

Because the SP1 install has to run on Vista.

Re:Possible Tags

[Bryansix]

Don't forget the slew of jokes that Vista SP1 will just reinstall XP...

Too bad it doesn't...

Re:Service Pack 1... Not impressed so far.

[Bragador]

The Pirate Bay will continue to offer Windows XP for a long time to come.

I wouldn't panic if I were you...

Re:Auto upbreak.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Stellar performance, and totally against what everyone else says."

You mean the 9 out of 10 people that don't actually use Vista but happily parrot every sensationalist headline they run across?

Re:Auto upbreak.

[Anonymous Coward]

Agreed!!!

Wow... You registered just to post that?

Not only is SP1 out, it's also open source

[sokoban]

Here's the source code: /*
TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Project:Longhorn(TM) SP1
Estimated release date:2008
*/
#include "win95.h"
#include "win98.h"
#include "leopard.h"

char chew_up_some_ram[10000000];

void main () {
while (!CRASHED) {

if (first_time_install) {
make_10_gigabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
search_and_destroy(FIREFOX | OPENOFFICEORG | ANYTHING_GOOGLE);
hang_system();
}

if (still_not_crashed) {
basically_run_windows_xp();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}

if (!DX10GPU()) {
set_graphics(aero, very_slow);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
} // printf("Welcome to Windows 2000); // printf("Welcome to Windows XP");
printf("Welcome to Windows Vista");

while (something) {
sleep(10);
get_user_input();
sleep(10);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(10);
flicker_led_promisingly(hard_disk);
}

creat_general_protection_fault();
}

Re:Poor Vista.

[zienth]

Consider the company's name. Do the words "micro" and "soft" sound like they go with a great lover?

Zienth

Re:"Clippy" is back . . .

[Oktober Sunset]

You writing a letter? Okay. You want me to help? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!

Re:Auto upbreak.

[sokoban]

I don't want to start a holy war here, but what is the deal with you Vista fanatics? I've been sitting here at my freelance gig in front of a Dell (a Core 2 Duo 2.33 with 4 GB of ram) for about 20 minutes now while it attempts to copy a 17 Meg file from one folder on the hard drive to another folder. 20 minutes. At home, on my G4 running OS X 10.4, which by all standards should be a lot slower than this PC, the same operation would take about 2 minutes. If that.

In addition, during this file transfer, Firefox will not work. And everything else has ground to a halt. Even Wordpad is straining to keep up as I type this.

I won't bore you with the laundry list of other problems that I've encountered while working on Vista, but suffice it to say there have been many, not the least of which is I've never seen a Vista PC that has run faster than its Mac OS X counterpart, despite the Vista PC's faster chip architecture. My 486/66 with 8 megs of ram runs faster than this 2,330 mhz machine at times. From a productivity standpoint, I don't get how people can claim that the Vista PC is a superior machine.

Vista addicts, flame me if you'd like, but I'd rather hear some intelligent reasons why anyone would choose to use Vista over other faster, cheaper, more stable systems.

DNF

[Per Abrahamsen]

Wait until DNF is released.

My first mental "expansion" of DNF was the term used in result listings in athletics when a runner abandon the race: "Did Not Finish".

On second thought, from context it seems that you meant Duke-Nuke'em Forever.

Then again, maybe the two meanings of DNF aren't that different.

Re:So how long do I wait?

[kpainter]

I just installed SP1. It is GREAT! File transfers are almost instantaneous. Better yet, it seems very sta

Huh?

[Per Abrahamsen]

or sends your life history to the Ministry of Total Information Awareness.

Why would Microsoft send your life history to Google?

Re:Auto upbreak.

[Anonymous Coward]

"Things seem 'faster',"

Linux: "time rm somefile.zip" -> 0m0.004s

Windows: "Preparing to delete files..."

Re:Auto upbreak.

[chubs730]

Perhaps digg was down?

Re:Auto upbreak.

[sirmonkey]

at work, on heavily locked down pcs... the dolts in my IT heard that you can seal data with USB drives.... they epoxied the usb connectors, and got all new mice. i kidd you not. its amazes me the idots up top. side note, you want to have fun with your local secuitry personal, bring in a laptop with linux. then when they "must" run a virus scanner, let them run it it wine. its quite funny :-). more so when its IT security :-D haha good times.

Re:So how long do I wait?

[sudotcsh]

The last Windows service pack I downloaded crashed my house, stole my computer, had sex with my wallet, and set my dog on fire.

I think I may have done it wrong.

Re:Auto upbreak.

[ozmanjusri]

Anyone who says Vista is competent in any area, or that service pack one makes some improvements, is obviously an M$$$-paid troll.

Look, we know there are people out there who like Vista, but it doesn't mean anything.

When I dumped my ex, she found herself another bloke easily, and she's an irritating, fat, resource-hogging beast of a thing as well.

And unlike the MS boosters, at least her new bf has the grace not to go around bragging about how much he likes being screwed by her.

Re:Auto upbreak.

[Samah]

It took about an hour to copy my 20 terabytes of porn between physical drives rather than the usual 3 days.
Pity I lost interest after 5 minutes.