Big Six UK ISPs Capitulate To Music Industry 317
Barence writes "Britain's six leading internet providers have signed a Government-led agreement to stamp out illegal music file sharing. The six providers — BT, Virgin Media, Orange, Tiscali, Sky and Carphone Warehouse — will implement a series of measures against those found to be file sharing. Offenders may find their internet connection is throttled, or may even have their traffic 'filtered' to prevent media files from being downloaded. The ISPs are reportedly reluctant to impose the BPI's preferred 'three strikes and you're out' approach of cutting off users' broadband connections."
Re:Sealed out. (Score:4, Funny)
The keys will obviously be stored in a disused submarine lavatory with no lights and a sign saying 'Beware the leopard!'.
Re:This is the way we're all headed (Score:4, Funny)
Damn! Foiled again! I think we should ban the internet. And CD-R media, and tapes, and pens and printing presses.... for the children. I mean, you're patriotic right?
these would be the six... (Score:2, Funny)
...UK ISPs who will not enjoy my custom in the future.
Re:This is the way we're all headed (Score:5, Funny)
2. Block access to anything you feel like blocking
3. Start an SSH tunnel service
4. Profit!
Re:Precedent (Score:5, Funny)
Next thing you know, they'll be outlawing alcohol
Whoa bad idea... last time the US tried that we ended up with NASCAR!
Dear British ISPs (Score:3, Funny)
Here's hoping you have better luck than we did.
Sincerely,
American ISPs
Re:This is the way we're all headed (Score:4, Funny)
Dodge THIS (Score:5, Funny)
BBC News April 2nd 2010
ISPs have detected a massive spike in encrypted activity on the internet. Indecipherable "SSL" packets have increased in volume massively in recent months. This trend is seen as "disturbing" in the words of one child protection group.
"There could be anything being sent in these encrypted streams. Anything at all, and we have no way of knowing it", said Angela Termagantine, spokesperson for Protecting the Innocent. "There's little doubt that lurid, disgusting and atrocious images of naked children are being transmitted in these clandestine packets of information. Something Must Be Done."
Police spokesman Robert Peeler warned the public that very sinister developments have given us cause to believe that a vast network of Terrorists are transmitting plans to bring terror and mayhem to Britain's streets. "It is likely that this flood of inscruitible data is the precursor to an outright Terrorist assault, if not an invasion , on British citizens." Police believe that ssl may be a code word for terrorist cells, possibly referring to a passage, or passages from the Koran. Peeler added, "We are working with leaders in the Muslim community to reach young people and other members of the community in an effort to identify the sources of these sinister "ssl" packets."
When news broke of the recent surge and its potentially sinister meaning, traffic at Tabloid News and Gossip sites spiked as millions of Britons swarmed to read titillating speculation about what may be concealed in the encrypted traffic. "People love this stuff, right." said editor of the Scandal on Sunday Andy Tartuffe. "I mean, you throw in a bit of nookie, bit of scandel, bit of how's your father, people go right for it, know wha' I mean? " When it was suggested his publication by be sensationalizing the potential content of the traffic surge he retorted, " Look, it's all porn right! There's dirty buggers out there doing dirty deeds and my readers what to hear all about it." "Especially the kiddie stuff, right. Get's 'em right rilled up! Big seller." he added as he drove away in his BMW with an unidentified young woman.
The Home Office has dismissed protests from network and computer professionals that SSL is a much used and needed protocol on the internet, and has moved ahead with plans to outlaw encrypted data on British networks. "We have to stop this sort of thing", said the Home Office Minister, "Saying that it has legitimate uses, or that only a small fraction of the transmitted material may be illegal is frankly a load of rubbish. If you have nothing to hide, you have no reason to be using these services. Any sensible person can see that."
In addition to banning SSL traffic and previous legislation mandating the handover of encryption keys, the government plans to have monitoring software installed on all internet connected devices in the country. "When you think about it, it's a small price to pay for the safety of you and your children." said the Prime Minister this afternoon. "We have overwhelming public support on this", he added, citing private party telephone polls.
Protests from expats living in Russia, China and Iran is more muted relative to earlier episodes. One comment received from an expat in Iran states "We used to get bothered by all this, but frankly, it's so much better over here that we really don't care anymore."
Re:I know it won't happen but (Score:5, Funny)
Then in walks these copyright police saying,"DO NOT SHARE. Sharing is a Social Crime. If you Share, You are a a thief, a PIRATE."
Re:This is the way we're all headed (Score:2, Funny)
And then that'll become illegal too, with helicopter checks and radio scans of unauthorised wireless access points will send cops straight to your home.
Those nasty radations pose an unacceptable threat to the health of our children!
Think of the children!
THINK OF THE GREATER GOOD!
Re:Dodge THIS (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Dodge THIS (Score:4, Funny)
BBC News May 2nd 2010
The recent explosion in credit card fraud and identity theft confirms the imminent terrorist attack.
Network and computer professionals are attributing the increases to the recent outlawing of SSL, however The Home Office has dismissed these accusations as unpatriotic and arrested several professionals for supporting terrorism...
Re:Dodge THIS (Score:3, Funny)
You see, the last line was over the top and screwed things. The last lines should have been:
Some network and computer professionals are attributing the increases to the recent outlawing of encryption technologies. However, Thomas Andrews, Home Secretary for Network Infrastructure Security dismissed these accusations as overblown and said "The restriction of encryption to police and security use is a necessary step to fight terrorism and stop the spread of child pornography."
In an unrelated development, several network and computer professionals have been detained and are assisting the police with their investigation of potential domestic terrorism as evidenced by advocation of the use of illegal encryption technologies.
Re:Dodge this... (Score:2, Funny)
> And to be honest, they're all ISPs I'd avoid anyway for plenty of other reasons.
Vod are you saying? Tiscali is to be having very good customer service. Please to be having a very good day.