Six Questions To Ask Before Telecommuting 320
Lucas123 writes "With gas prices 30% higher this summer over last, telecommuting is back on everyone's radar. According to a Computerworld story, however, IT and telecommuting don't have a great record of success. For example, citing negative impacts on productivity, HP ended its telecommuting policy for hundreds of workers two years ago, and this year, Intel began requiring more than half the teleworkers in its IT group to report to the office at least four days a week. So before leaping, some questions you should ask as a manager if you're considering telework include: How will you define and measure performance? Will creativity suffer? What about employees stuck in the office?"
Thank you Computerword, Yeah baby!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Finally, someone is willing to tell the truth about those deadbeat American IT workers!
As we all know, Americans don't want to work.
Yes! All they want to do is stay home and take care of their annoying little brats or work on stupid crap, like having a life.
Well, this country wasn't built on that bunch of shit!
So, Computerword, with their history of protecting corporate and management self-serving interests (and that's a good thing), is on the ball with this fine article.
A brief synopsis:
Fuck you, you lazy motherfucking American IT worker-motherfuckers!
Management wants face time bitch. Don't make me slap you!
You work from home? You're a deadbeat. You're fired. Fuck you!
I am a manager. I get paid to show other managers that I got bitches working for me.
I don't give a fuck what you do at home. That's "home". That's not work.
I need you bitches to be here so when the Indian outsourcing mofo's show up, you can tell them what the deal is.
I am not paying you to have a life, bitch... Fuck you! ...
Also, other recent Computerworld articles you might be interested in:
How to suck your manager's dick.
How to make your manager feel good about firing you.
How to help the outsourcing company get rid of you faster!
Words of wisdom that don't mean dick: "deliverables", "resource", "timeline", "paradigm shift", "bring it to the next level", Use them!!!
How to get ahead by sucking dick and fucking people over.
How to fuck your workers and have them apologize for it.
Back stabbing for dummies
All that and much more.
So, let it be known that satan666, of Slashdot, has overwhelmingly endorsed this fine Computerworld article!
Fuck you and goodnight!
Re:The most important question is... (Score:5, Funny)
Wrong! The most important question is...
Can I do my work in my underwear, or am I expected to video conference? (To clarify you may need to ask: Is it okay if I video conference in my underwear?)
Re:How likely are your employees likely to slack o (Score:3, Funny)
About your managers... their names weren't Bob and Bob were they?
Re:to me, it's all a management problem (Score:2, Funny)
>lack of a manager's ability to accurately identify what a good metric is
All stakeholders, regardless of the nature of the business, respond to one "metric", universally:
Their personal wealth increased as a result of employing you.
That's very naive. The company may theoretically work like that, but most middle managers have a different and much more complex set of metrics. Like avoiding blame for failures, taking credit for successes and trying to increase the size of the empire by hiring more people and keeping the important people in their team happy. Or trying to get promoted, or a whole variety of things.
Of course they can't disagree with the making money metric, but if you look at their behavior it isn't something they value very highly most of the time.
Re:How likely are your employees likely to slack o (Score:3, Funny)
I can't see what the hot teen bitches problem with this post is?
Click here to download nude cheerleaders now!
Re:How likely are your employees likely to slack o (Score:2, Funny)
Frankly, without someone to poke me with a sharp stick now and then, I wouldn't get much done.
Yeah, it's tough for a monkey to make a living outside of a circus. ;)
Re:so you can make $0 while you wait for other peo (Score:5, Funny)
That depends. Do you translate Russian?
Re:How likely are your employees likely to slack o (Score:2, Funny)
So you posted to slashdot on your "productive" day? :-)