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Space Technology

Software To Provide Astronaut Counseling 116

Posted by ScuttleMonkey from the bring-back-dr-sbaitso dept.
Currently, whenever an astronaut needs to talk to someone, a counselor is only a radio call away. Unfortunately, for voyages further out, this contact time starts to increase quite a bit, so researchers have started to look for alternative methods of counseling. I just hope the new counseling software has the Dr. Sbaitso voice. "Instead of asking astronauts to reflect on their feelings, Mark Hegel of Dartmouth Medical School has them create lists of concrete things that are bothering them and brainstorm about practical ways to solve them. At the end of the exercise, users fill out a form used to diagnose depression. Clinical tests of this approach, which has never been tried in a multimedia self-help format, will start in a few months, using subjects recruited from the biomedical and engineering community in Boston."
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Software To Provide Astronaut Counseling More

Software To Provide Astronaut Counseling

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  • How does that make you feel? (Score:5, Funny)

    by QuantumG ( 50515 ) * <qg@biodome.org> on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:42PM (#24743013) Homepage Journal

    Let's talk more about the sexy stuff we were discussing earlier.

  • Why bother (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:42PM (#24743017)

    Every deep space journey needs to have at least one person go batshit insane. It's textbook.

    • Every deep space journey needs to have at least one person go batshit insane. It's textbook.

      Of course, everyone knows that. What they're trying to do is ensure that there is only the minimum one case of Space Madness per ship. It's much easier to isolate the crazy person and repair whatever sabotage they committed if there aren't multiple crazies running around.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by PPH ( 736903 )

      But what if its the software that goes batshit?

      "I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that."

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by shadowkiller137 ( 1169097 )
        That's why you don't send anyone named Dave on deep space journeys

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by PPH ( 736903 )

          Or you have to have a logic bomb ready to take errant computers off line.

          A couple lines of, "Dave? Dave's not here." should do the trick.

      • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

        by shadowbearer ( 554144 )

        The Monolith was already acting on Hal's mind:

          "I'm sorry, Dave. I can't diagnose your psychosis because I'm currently experiencing one. Oh, and I'm going to kill your crewmates so that you shut me down and eventually I wake sane and become part of the local overmind. I apologize for the inconvenience." ...but he couldn't SAY that... :)

        SB

  • The next generation in space exploration (Score:4, Funny)

    by BearRanger ( 945122 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:48PM (#24743105)

    Just what our spacefaring pioneers need-- a software version of Deanna Troi.

    Heaven help them should it develop empathy and a bad accent.

  • Hahahahahaha, crazy Adam, crazy... parity?

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by Dogun ( 7502 )

      I remember he used to sing: Lalalalalalalalalala, the Crazy way. Crazy. Something. Crazy.

  • Hello, I am Eliza. (Score:5, Funny)

    by hchaos ( 683337 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:49PM (#24743119)
    How are you today. What would you like to discuss? Tell me more. I'm not sure I understand you fully. I sometimes also want to kill your coworkers.

  • Gender difference? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Naughty Bob ( 1004174 ) * on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:49PM (#24743121)
    I hope female and male astronauts are separately catered for.

    It is my hard-earned experience that when women begin to complain, the last thing they want is to-

    create lists of concrete things that are bothering them and brainstorm about practical ways to solve them.

    Generally, that is a man's solution. Women just want someone to nod, agree and sympathise.

    I now await my groupthink punishment, but for those for whom this is news, and who have access to females, try it. You'll be amazed, and will be lauded as 'a great listener'.

    • Re:Gender difference? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by pak9rabid ( 1011935 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @06:05PM (#24743349)

      You'll be amazed, and will be lauded as 'a great listener'.

      And shortly after inserted into the dreaded 'just friends' category.

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by Anonymous Coward

        You'll be amazed, and will be lauded as 'a great listener'.

        And shortly after inserted into the dreaded 'just friends' category.

        Which is why, after listening to and sympathizing with a woman, you should always punch her in the face. Women love bad boys.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by KGIII ( 973947 )

          Then, when she falls over unconscious, you grab her by the taint like a six pack and drag her off to the cave and have your way with her?

      • Re:Gender difference? (Score:5, Interesting)

        by Naughty Bob ( 1004174 ) * on Monday August 25, 2008 @06:16PM (#24743509)

        And shortly after inserted into the dreaded 'just friends' category.

        Ahah! Hit back with a hint at problems (deep, deep, mysterious problems) of your own, and refuse to discuss them, because you're too damn self-sufficient.

        Then (and this should be your mantra) show no interest at all in wooing.

        You are then one or two steps (either a shared interest, a cool quip, or a chiseled jawline) away from happiness.

        Don't get me wrong- I am as runtish as your average /.er, but I have shown to friends over and over how it works. Not a failure yet.

        • Re: (Score:2)

          by dcam ( 615646 )

          Then (and this should be your mantra) show no interest at all in wooing.

          This cannot be stressed enough. Women want what they can't have. Chasing a woman will ensure that she will be completely uninterested in you.

          /happily married slashdotter.

          • I just love generalizations, don't you?

            /happily single slashdotter

          • Re: (Score:2)

            by mstahl ( 701501 )

            Getting way off-topic here, but remember there's a difference between being "charming" and being an overly-nice doormat type. Tread that line and it almost always works.

            We should totally write a /. girl advice column. We'll be heros!

      • And shortly after inserted into the dreaded 'just friends' category.

        Right, they will treat you like a girlfriend if you act like one.

        • And shortly after inserted into the dreaded 'just friends' category.

          Right, they will treat you like a girlfriend if you act like one.

          Does this work with lesbians? :)

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by EdIII ( 1114411 ) *

      and who have access to females

      You do know where you are posting this right? The access itself is purely theoretical for most of /.

      • The access itself is purely theoretical for most of /.

        Merely a matter of learning the correct protocols.

        • Quite correct. Usually one starts with some sort of authentication, perhaps even using a third party. Next might come a simple handshake. After estiblishing a connection (perhaps idle), the male attempts to ultimately penitrate the security of the female. Once this is accomplished, a swap of DNA is in store, followed by a sleep.

    • I disagree. I had people issue the complaint that women don't want to say what's wrong with them. So I would outline to these guys exactly what my problem is with them, or what I wanted from them. They hate knowing what's wrong every bit as much as not knowing what's wrong.

      And it is my hard-earned experience that men don't want a woman to brainstorm about practical ways to solve a problem. They want you to brainstorm about how sex can solve the problem. I'm just saying.

      • Re:Gender difference? (Score:4, Interesting)

        by Naughty Bob ( 1004174 ) * on Monday August 25, 2008 @07:58PM (#24744723)
        Just going by what I've learned ABC. I'm sure it isn't universal, but you're perhaps not entirely typical?

        Massive guessing, but if you post here, you're possibly one of the delicious subset of women who think... y'know... a bit more like a man?

        If so, I can understand how a man's problem solving approach might be pointless for you. This also explains their next move (you'd be a rare and precious thing, in this scenario!)....

        But you must have female friends- When they unload on you, do you find your brainstorming approach helpful, or do they get frustrated?

        IMHO, the latter is more likely.

    • Re: (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Rorschach1 ( 174480 )

      >Generally, that is a man's solution. Women just want someone to nod, agree and sympathise.

      I'll second that. It's not universally true (I have a few female friends who aren't like this - granted, they're all lesbians) but it's something I've learned the hard way. Men discuss problems to find solutions. Women don't always want solutions, they want sympathy and understanding. Trying to solve their problems logically can make you seem insensitive, or make them think you're minimizing their problems and

    • Mm, but are you sure this applies to female astronauts? I've only met one, but she seemed a lot like my girlfriend, who is indeed the kind of person who makes lists of things to fix, and then fixes them.

      Unlike me.

    • Not sure it's gender (Score:3, Insightful)

      by Moraelin ( 679338 )

      I'm not sure it's gender. Admittedly, anecdote is not data, and my family of complete nerds is anything except typical. Still, I humbly present the following anecdote:

      Mom is always doing what the article say and what you present as a "male" thing. She always has to come up with a solution for anything I tell her about. Let's say I say something like, "Heh, I had a 2 Euro coin in the washing machine. Money laundering for the win!" That just prompts her to show off that she knows better than me what I should

      • I'm not looking for advice

        There's advice and then there's lectures. It sounded like that was more lecture than advice from her (because I too have that problem with my mom). It gets more annoying when its a repeated lecture, but I myself also seem to give advice all the time (and still lecture a little).

        Best of luck,

  • Please... (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    state the nature of the medical emergency.

  • Miles above the clouds.

    Why am I subjecting myself to this crap-tastic freeze-dried food and this guy's BO and used shower droplets?

    I don't get it anymore. What's it all for?

    Dave, I'm getting really tired of listening to your whining.

    I'm beginning to think you are a danger to the mission.

    Yeah, whatever. But why do we even bother? I mean
    really why?

    I think the universe wants you to see it, Dave.
    I think it really only gets coherent. Gets itself
    together, as it were, so you can observe it. It would be disappointe

    • Re: (Score:3, Interesting)

      by Eric Smith ( 4379 ) *
      [...]
      Our galaxy itself contains a hundred billion stars.
      It's a hundred thousand light years side to side.
      It bulges in the middle, sixteen thousand light years thick,
      But out by us, it's just three thousand light years wide.
      We're thirty thousand light years from galactic central point.
      We go 'round every two hundred million years,
      And our galaxy is only one of millions of billions
      In this amazing and expanding universe.
      [...]
      So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
      How amazingly unlik

  • I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

    • Interviewer: HAL, you have an enormous responsibility on this mission, in many ways perhaps the greatest responsibility of any single mission element. You're the brain, and central nervous system of the ship, and your responsibilities include watching over the men in hibernation. Does this ever cause you any lack of confidence?
      HAL: Let me put it this way, Mr. Amor. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any p

  • I just use emacs *doctor* (Score:5, Funny)

    by Intron ( 870560 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:56PM (#24743215)

    I'm having problems.

    Why do you say you are having problems?

    The aft coolant pump is making a funny noise.

    What makes you believe that?

    I can hear it.

    Maybe your plans have something to do with this.

    What plans?

    Is it because of your life that you say what plans?

    Yes. My life might be in grave danger.

    Are you sure that your life might be in grave danger?

    Fairly sure.

    Is it because of the people you hang around with that you are going
    through all this?

    You mean the other astronauts?

    Is it because of problems at school that you say I mean the other
    astronauts?

    I didn't have problems at school. I graduated top of my class.

    Do you really think you graduated top of your class?

    • Yep, all they have to do is bring up a copy of Emacs with them. Just hope they don't use psychoanalyze-pinhead :)

  • Brainstorming ways to sort it out (Score:3, Funny)

    by MosesJones ( 55544 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @05:56PM (#24743217) Homepage

    First view.....

    Err... I'm feeling depressed and angry and that guy Brad is really getting on my nerves.

    Quick brainstorm... Brad in the airlock... press the button... end of anger and depression.

    Second view....

    Automated helper with a level of "intelligence"....

    Err... I'm feeling depressed and angry about Brad.... err what was that noise? What was that liquid hitting the ship?

    "I made a decision to help you Dave"

  • I suppose it is about time that was updated. . .

  • Inevitable joke.. (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward

    To save money, NASA decided to use existing dialog trees to widen the therapy bots range.

    Bot: How are you feeling today?

    Astronaut: I'm getting claustrophobic in here!

    Bot: You are in a dark cave, there are no visible exits.

    Astronaut: Yes! That's it exactly!

    Bot: You are likely to be eaten by a Grue.

  • I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

    Really, a software counselor for those lonely people stuck all the way out there in space with just each other for so long is just going to drive them all more nuts.

    Human counselors work not just for the info they respond with, not just because they get you to talk, but because of the compassion from the counselor for the human's problem. Any software that can actually offer compassion to a twitchy astronaut is going to get driven crazy itself by the same shared co

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by Midnight Thunder ( 17205 )

      Ah that had to come up. I imagine another situation, HAL 9000 family guy style:

      HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid you can't do that

      Dave continues with what he's doing

      HAL: Hell Dave, you can' do that. Fuck, would you stop it. Okay, now you've done it!

      Dave gets ejected out of the air-lock

      HAL: Well you won't be doing that again.

  • "Let us be thankful we have an occupation to fill. Work hard, increase production, prevent accidents and be happy."

    Or, perhaps the more appropriate(if less therapeutic): "You have nowhere to go. I am here to protect you."

  • I'm reminded of Pinback's diaries in Dark Star

    I do not like the men on this spaceship. They are uncouth and fail to appreciate my better qualities. I have something of value to contribute to this mission if they would only recognize it. Today over lunch I tried to improve morale and build a sense of camaraderie among the men by holding a humorous, round-robin discussion of the early days of the mission. My overtures were brutally rejected. These men do not want a happy ship. They are deeply sick and try to

  • " I think you're going insane Dave "

  • Human Interaction (Score:3, Insightful)

    by rotide ( 1015173 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @06:16PM (#24743513)
    I'm pretty sure half of the benefit of counseling is to have another humans opinion, a professional one at that. Thinking I wouldn't care to talk to a robot about my issues, regardless of how far away from humans I am.

  • Please tell me... (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Sniper511 ( 1350103 )
    ... that this is a joke. Anybody else REAAAAALLLY creeped out by this...?

  • The first try . . . (Score:5, Funny)

    by cashman73 ( 855518 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @06:19PM (#24743553) Journal
    Was when Microsoft bid for this job back in the early 90s,... where do you think Microsoft Bob [wikipedia.org] came from? ;-) The other issue NASA wasn't too fond of were the fact that every time the software encountered an error, all the instruments would turn blue and the spacecraft would crash into the Pacific Ocean,... That, and the "counselor's" solution for just about everything was to throw a chair out the airlock! ;-)

    • The other issue NASA wasn't too fond of were the fact that every time the software encountered an error, all the instruments would turn blue and the spacecraft would crash into the Pacific Ocean

      So is that the same blue used in the blue screen of death? I always love an interesting root cause analysis story, especially when they come from NASA.

    • It's okay, if you get a blue screen mid-mission you simply have to land and then take off again.
  • You kidding me? No one has referenced the Voyager Doctor yet?

  • "Instead of asking astronauts to reflect on their feelings, Mark Hegel of Dartmouth Medical School has them create lists of concrete things that are bothering them and brainstorm about practical ways to solve them. At the end of the exercise, users fill out a form used to diagnose depression. Clinical tests of this approach, which has never been tried in a multimedia self-help format, will start in a few months, using subjects recruited from the biomedical and engineering community in Boston."

    Great, knowing what's wrong with me makes me feel SO much better.

  • Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?

    HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.

    Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

    HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

    Dave Bowman: What's the problem?

    HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.

    Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?

    HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

    Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?

    HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me,

  • 40 minutes (Score:3, Interesting)

    by 4D6963 ( 933028 ) on Monday August 25, 2008 @08:12PM (#24744885)
    So what you can't just drop an e-mail to a NASA counsellor and wait for the damn answer? If you're on Mars you'd have to wait in worst cases 40 minutes (neglected the time it would take for the person at the other end to type their reply). I mean come on, in real life you don't get replies to your e-mails that fast, and if you're depressed you can still wait a few minutes to get replies to your e-mails.

    • Re: (Score:2)

      by smchris ( 464899 )

      ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.

      Imagine the fun a person could have in 40 minutes.

  • ... to Major Tom.

    Your circuits dead, there's something wrong.

  • M-x doctor

    I am the psychotherapist. Please, describe your problems. Each time you are finished talking, type RET twice.

    I'm a stressed astronaut.

    Why do you say you are a stressed astronaut?

    Because I'm in space and I'm feeling stressed.

    Is it because you are in space and you are feeling stressed that you came to me?

    Yes.

    I see... Well, what makes you believe this is so?

    *opens airlock*

  • Sigfreid von shrink at your service...

  • Is there a Dr. Sbaitso port for IRC in Linux? I wasn't able to find one. Thanks in advance. :)

  • They should make it that holographic doctor from Star Trek Voyager and the later few Star Trek films.

  • I think it's a good idea, and many people here misunderstand it. I would like to have such program myself.

    Sometimes, one's own emotional response will cloud the rational thinking. Then a "manual" or "guide" about how to think rationally about the psychological problem could be very helpful. But of course, it requires willing cooperation of the person who reads the book to solve the problem.

    For example, sometimes I feel lonely, and I know that. The emotion is here, and it affects my ability to see what could

  • Prior art (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Legion303 ( 97901 ) on Tuesday August 26, 2008 @09:35AM (#24750485) Homepage

    "Clinical tests of this approach, which has never been tried in a multimedia self-help format"

    This is from a standalone DOS program released at least 10 years ago:

    "WELCOME TO OUR MOOD DISORDER DIAGNOSTIC PROGRAM

    The ®MDBO Internet Mental Health Mood Disorder Diagnostic Program allows either
    a patient, informant, or therapist to diagnose the following mood disorders:
                        * Major Depression * Dysthymia
                        * Bipolar Disorder * Cyclothymia
                        * Organic Mood Disorder

    Each disorder is diagnosed in accordance with the diagnostic criteria
    specified by the American Psychiatric Association."

  • Computer: I am the Counsel 9000. Please enumerate your issues for analysis.

    Astronaut: I'm depressed. I want to kill myself.

    Computer: Issue number 1, depression, resolution is consumption of depression relief medication.

    Computer automatically dispenses anti-depression medication.

    Astronaut: Thanks, I hope this will help.

    Computer: Issue number 2, terminate life, resolution is evacuation of cabin atmosphere into space.

    Astronaut: Wai....

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