Japanese Begin Working On Space Elevator 696
thebryce writes "From cyborg housemaids and waterpowered cars to dog translators and rocket boots, Japanese boffins have racked up plenty of near-misses in the quest to turn science fiction into reality. Now the finest scientific minds of Japan are devoting themselves to cracking the greatest sci-fi vision of all: the space elevator. Man has so far conquered space by painfully and inefficiently blasting himself out of the atmosphere but the 21st century should bring a more leisurely ride to the final frontier. Japan is increasingly confident that its sprawling academic and industrial base can solve those issues, and has even put the astonishingly low price tag of a trillion yen (£5 billion) on building the elevator. Japan is renowned as a global leader in the precision engineering and high-quality material production without which the idea could never be possible."
Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
Just imagine fourteen hours of Japanese elevator music. I couldn't stand that much symphonic David Hasselhoff. And when you get to space and arrive at the Japanese Sky Deck, you can eat very expensive steak, while being entertained by a Max Headroom stylized recreation of David Hasselhoff, and groped by Hentai-motivated space-whores.
That's Cheap! (Score:5, Funny)
Lift engine. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
Could you cope any better with Music for Elevators by Anthony S Head though?
Being groped by space-whores could potentially be worth the wait anyway. ;)
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
This is why my preferences are set to view low UID posters at higher point value than others. It is their keen insight from years in the tech arena that keeps me coming back.
I am going to go remove that preference now.
SKYHOOK! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:5, Funny)
The concept of a space elevator, of course, requires a very very tall structure, or a pully of sorts from space. That would need to be a really damn strong system, to pull somebody up that high...
Yes, you instantly recognized the challenges of the project. Please, come, be a manager on the project!
OMG They killed Kenny (Score:2, Funny)
In other news... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
You think that is bad, just wait until some wieseguy gets on and hits the buttons for every floor.
Pfft. I've got all the other wonders. (Score:1, Funny)
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:5, Funny)
Exercise for the reader: work out how you're going to power the climber.
CowboyNeal as a counterweight?
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:1, Funny)
Hentai. So five year olds. If you are lucky five year olds with big fake plastic breasts.
No thanks.
Dude we already did this before. (Score:1, Funny)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_babel [wikipedia.org]
It didn't work out so well from what I recall.
Bah... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:2, Funny)
Cue "he bought it on Ebay" responses.
From a little old lady in Pasadena who only used it on Sundays.
I'll stick with PbZep (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Just as a subnote... (Score:5, Funny)
would that work to finance the japanes space elevator:
1- take a subprime loan from a US bank
2- file for banckruptcy
3- let US treasury buy the debt back and cancel it
4- Profit !
I mean with that they could spend as much as 700 billions !
Wirri Wonka (Score:5, Funny)
If I find a golden ticket in my package of ramen noodles, do I get to ride the space elevator?
Re:call me when they have something (Score:5, Funny)
Missing from the article: (Score:5, Funny)
The elevators traveling speed will be measured in GFIp/t ("Girl from Ipanema" plays per transport).
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:4, Funny)
Is it spelled "Whoosh" or "Woosh"?
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
Are you kidding? This thing would be milked for every yen they can get. There'll be a food court floor, the stratosphere floor, ionosphere floor, the "Sunset Above the Troposphere" floor, the gift shop floor ("I rode the space elevator" T-shirts), the "Watch the aurora close up" floor...
Then there'll be sponsors. Just wait for "The Hello Kitty Space Elevator" sponsored by Sanrio.
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:2, Funny)
Yes, you are correct, but I accounted for the time it will take to build the thing and by then he becomes a huge star in Japan. Oh crap, I just corrupted the time-line!!!
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:1, Funny)
Exercise for the reader: work out how you're going to power the climber.
Rockets.
Re:Start from orbit. (Score:3, Funny)
There is no reason for that not working. And, except for the cable and the asteroid, we already have all the needed equipment ;)
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:3, Funny)
You forgot the "I rode the space elevator and all I got was this loosy T-shirt" T-shirts.
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Stuck in space - rescue plan? (Score:3, Funny)
Supposed you were to get stuck near the very top in space? Who is going to come and rescue you? Ultra-Man? Optimus Prime? Godzilla?
Don't be stupid. Godzilla never went to space.
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:5, Funny)
I have the solution though. To get around the problem with the long cable and pulley, we can use rocket propulsion on the bottom of the elevator cart.
Also since the shaft it will travel may encouter some problems with radial velocity and all that engineery stuff I know barely enough to be dangerous about, we should cut that out and just create a cart that doesn't need that.
Yeah, a rocket propelled shaftless space elevator. Where's my damn X-prize or whatever money for being so smart....
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:3, Funny)
You mean the thing that orbits Earth?
So we'll eventually have cable wrapped around our planet like a rubber band ball?
And the moon will collide with Earth?
Re:call me when they have something (Score:5, Funny)
Good thing you're anonymous. If I had a 'nanotube' I sure wouldn't want to admit it on slashdot. :)
Re:call me when they have something (Score:5, Funny)
Actually, it would take a guy in the spacecraft a minimum of 4.3 years to arrive at Alpha Centauri. In Earth's reference frame it might take thousands of years. I'm saying that you're using the times in the wrong frames of reference.
How disappointing would that be? You get yourself all packed up and ready to go to Alpha Centauri. You're excited, the kids are excited, you're going to be the first humans to ever step foot outside the solar system. It's groundbreaking stuff, you are lauded as heroes as you step into your state-of-the art ship that travels at 60% of the speed of light.
After almost ten difficult years in a cramped interstellar ship, you and the other colonists can finally see your destination. You will forever own a place in the chronicles of human history. And then, you discover than the place was already colonized by humans centuries ago ... the ones who waited until FTL travel was invented back on Earth. They made the trip in a couple weeks. They've been waiting for you ever since.
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:1, Funny)
Whoosh. Only americans spell it woosh ;)
South park predicts the future (Score:3, Funny)
As always:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Ladder_to_Heaven [wikipedia.org]
Actually... (Score:3, Funny)
The "Tower of Babel" project was abandoned before they installed the bell on top.
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:3, Funny)
WOOSH!
There it went.
giant robots (Score:1, Funny)
Shades of Orguss (Score:3, Funny)
Civilization? (Score:4, Funny)
Did that headline make anyone else feel like we're in one big game of "Civilization"?
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:4, Funny)
GEO (Score:4, Funny)
Re:No I didn't Read TFA (Score:3, Funny)
Look, let's just ring up General Products. The Puppeteers probably make exactly the kind of cable we need.
Whoever calls, pick me up a Number Two hull if they have any left. I'm good for it.
Re:Largest is the nanotube problem... (Score:3, Funny)
...No space elevator is going anywhere without the necessary nanotube manufacturing breakthrough, and that includes the Japanese.
If only someone would throw billions of dollars into research to try and find such a breakthrough. That someone would have to engage a whole bunch of people and research organisations. Maybe a sovereign nation could get behind it.
But which? I mean, it would have to a country with a solid background in technological innovation, and it would be good if they weren't currently in the throes of an economic meltdown. Maybe someone in Asia? Hmmm...
Nope, can't think of anyone. Guess it'll never happen. What a shame.
Re:Space Elevator Music (Score:1, Funny)
Just imagine fourteen hours of Japanese elevator music.
Oh, but it's even worse than that.....
Guy wanders into elevator lobby. Presses "up" button. Waits. Taps foot to Japanese elevator music. Continues waiting. And waiting... (14 hours later)... Elevator door opens. Guy steps in, looks at the panel. Two buttons: "G" and "S". Assumes he's already on "G", so presses "S". Door closes. Japanese elevator music plays. And plays. And plays... (14 hours later)... Elevator door opens. Guy looks out to see.... black. Some stars in the distance. Nowhere to go. Shrugs his shoulders and presses "G". Door closes. Japanese elevator music plays.....