Volvo Introduces a Collision-Proof Car

carazoo.com sends along a story on Volvo's upcoming crash-proof car. The company will introduce a concept car based on the S60 this month at the Detroit Auto Show, looking ahead a few years to the goal that by 2020 "no one should be killed or injured in a Volvo car." The concept car will have forward-looking radar as a proximity sensor, and the ability to brake if a collision is imminent. When the car senses a collision, a light flashes on the windscreen display along with an audible warning. If the driver doesn't act, the car will brake automatically.

yeah well

[loafula]

What if I crash into IT with my H2?

Does this care have a.....

[ChrisGilliard]

spill proof cup holder too? I've always wanted one of those.

Automatic braking?

[Tubal-Cain]

I bet that thing is a lot of fun in a demolition derby.

For an extra 50 euros....

[AltGrendel]

...you can get a pair of Peril Sensitive Sunglasses(TM) to wear too.

Re:Good luck with that.

[Anonymous Coward]

It's tough to fit brakes onto your dog sled.

Re:Good luck with that.

[dgatwood]

That's what the steel spikes are for. They impale your tires and dig into the pavement in the event of traction loss. Gets rather expensive after hydroplaning a couple of times, though.

In other news, Volvo has announced a cutting-edge strategy for surviving the economic slump through their exclusive partnership with Goodyear and Michelin....

Re:yeah well

[_Shorty-dammit]

Then I will laugh at you for not buying a real Hummer. If you're going to buy a Hummer, at least get a real one. Not a chick Hummer. Or at least get a different kind of chick hummer.

Re:"I Canna Change The Laws of Physics, Captain!"

[dmomo]

Ahhh. You are missing a subtle point in their claim "that no one should be killed or injured *in* a Volvo car"! All they have to do is simply eject the passenger from the car so they die outside of the vehicle. ... ..

Profit?

Re:Good luck with that.

[nschubach]

Nah, it's easy. It just takes a bit of practice to be able to say "Whoa-Mush!" over and over really fast a bunch of times in a row to get the dogs to "anti-lock".

Re:Accident-proof or Accident-resistant?

[0100010001010011]

Have Volvo engineers ever driven in ice and snow?

Dear Astute ./er,

Thank you for pointing out your observations. Here in Sweden we don't get much snow and ice at all. Thanks to you and your observations we will be able to refine our system with ideas that we have never thought of before.

Sincerely,
Volvo Engineer

A Moose...

[Akardam]

... once got in the way of my sister's "crash-proof" Volvo.

Mind you, moose crashes can be pretty nasti...

Re:Good luck with that.

[Wonko the Sane]

I remember the good old days, back when the trolls were original, interesting and wrote with decent prose.

Re:internet wiseguys

[Lord Ender]

You should have the collision sensor removed from your air bags. Replace it with a button which says "deploy airbags." You could have another button which tightens your seatbelt, leaving the belt loose until pressed.

That would empower you to make these decisions for yourself, rather than relying on the instant reflexes and unwavering attention of machinery.

Re:wishful thinking

[foniksonik]

Next time just let them be and then proceed to drive like a madman (make sure you have an open road)... speed up then brake randomly, swerve around for no reason.... maybe do a little drifting around a wide turn ;-p

Then respond: "Yes, I'm THAT kind of driver!"

Code Name:

[night_flyer]

Titanic

Re:Good luck with that.

[Darth_brooks]

My sister got bit by a moose once....

Re:The trouble with semi-automated driving

[Wonko the Sane]

Do you remember that ultrasound device that lets you "beam" sound to a specific location? I want something like that so I can talk to other drivers on the highway.

Of course as soon as those devices became common the entire country would perish in the worst case of road rage in history.

I heard

[mandark1967]

that if the car senses a collision is imminent, regardless of its attempts to prevent it, that it just explodes so it can maintain it's "collision proof" claim.

Re:Good luck with that.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mynd you, møøse bites can be pretti nasti....

Re:Good luck with that.

[Linker3000]

"You Are Experiencing an Accident"

Re:Good luck with that.

[Anonymous Coward]

I was hoping the steel spikes were for the moose.

Re:yeah well

[Arthur Grumbine]

Then you will continue to be a douche. Sorry, like the intrinsic unity of time and space, there is nothing in the known universe that can separate H2 drivers from douche-ness. Most philosophers believe that "what it is to be" an H2 driver is to be a douche...although apparently thousands of douches loudly, and rudely, take issue with this manifestly self-evident proposition...thus confirming it with empirical evidence.

Re:Good luck with that.

[xaxa]

Hey, I invented another use for it. Just sleep all your way to work in the jammed traffic. The car will be doing the usual start-stop all by itself.

We call that a "train".

Re:yeah well

[Skreems]

An H2 commands plenty of respect on the road (and off the road).

You may be mistaking "muffled laughter" for "respect"...

Re:Good luck with that.

[moose_hp]

Sorry for that >.>;;;

Re:Good luck with that.

[MrNaz]

I like driving. But I like the idea of sleeping through the traffic jam on the way to work more.

Not a big deal

[l00sr]

I predict that by the year 2020, no one will be killed or injured in a GM, Chrysler, or Ford car either.

Re:Good luck with that.

[norminator]

Volvo has an entire team dedicating to breaking systems?

Isn't that another description for a testing department/QA?

Re:Good luck with that.

[ryanleary]

Sounds like a job for Clippy.

Re:Good luck with that.

[Oswald]

"Pound" is a unit of currency in the United Kingdom. Although Canada theoretically has its own currency (the "dollar"), many loyal subjects of the crown still insist on reporting monetary value in pounds. A "thousand-pound moose," therefore, would be a moose that cost approximately US$1460.

Re:A Moose...

[MooUK]

We apologise for the previous posts. The posters involved have been fired.

Re:Locusts

[Random BedHead Ed]

You definitely should have sued them for that fiver for your Ford F-150. I would have gone for the fiver if they'd hit my Ford Pinto.

Re:Accident-proof or Accident-resistant?

[pushing-robot]

It's Reverse Swedish Notation.

Re:A Moose...

[MooUK]

The person responsible for the previous firing has been sacked.

Re:Locusts

[m0nkyman]

I thought it was funny.

For the humour and history impaired, a Ford Pinto is likely to burst into flames when rear ended.

Which kind of makes the flamebait moderation meta-funny.

Re:Locusts

[blincoln]

Did the show explain how the new system can prevent the car behind you from rear-ending your shiny Volvo? TFA doesn't.

All of you complainers are looking at this totally the wrong way.

Think of the hidden benefit for those of us who won't be driving these cars even if most other people are - install a fighter jet-style radar-reflective chaff launcher on the back of your car, and suddenly you have a "stop tailgating me - immediately" button on your own dashboard.