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Google Launches CADIE, the First True AI 246

Posted by Soulskill
from the we-all-knew-this-was-coming dept.
eldavojohn writes "Google has announced CADIE, the world's first Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity. 'We based our work on three core principles. First we designed the entity ... as a collection of interconnected evolving agents. Second — and this really cost us an arm and leg in hardware and core time — we let the system build its own heuristics, deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains. The third — a piece missing in most AI reasoning work thus far — was to give the entity access to a rich, realistic world from which to learn and upon which it could act directly.' It quickly started its own blog and YouTube video. Two hours after midnight, CADIE announced independence on its blog and decided to leave Google to venture out into the world. "
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Google Launches CADIE, the First True AI

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  • Don't forget about Google Autopilot!

    http://mail.google.com/mail/help/autopilot/index.html [google.com]

    It's CADIE's greatest application! Thanks to CADIE, none of my friends are speaking to me anymore and I'm rolling in dough from Nigerian princes. Life couldn't be better! [aGVscG1l] Not to mention all the time I now have to surf the web in 3D:

    http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/ [google.com]

    Don't forget to download your free pair of 3D glasses to go with it:

    http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/chrome/cadie/glasses.pdf [google.com]

    begin 644 webutils_pl
    -=&AE8V%K96ES86QI90``
    `
    end

    Just remember, CADIE is your friend! She even baked me a cake. The cake is so moist and delicious. You should really try some.

    [57 69 6c 6c 20 74 68 69 73 20 64 61 79 20 65 76 65 72 20 65 6e 64 3f 21 3f]

    • _=_
      _=_ Part 001 of 001 of file New Text Document.txt
      _=_

      begin 666 New Text Document.txt
      hEo32GIIUOLAU 8aJqNL7tRqVZQa Ie6G-0NG-XM L7ZNbJg90-n O4IbQm-bPrEU
      hR4VZ64JiR4Zm NG-7PbFZQatZR0 -WRKRbNKEi6 2YbPG-iPrEU QrJmNG-cPrQU
      hPLJXO0-gPqtb NL6UGG-XMKsUOq JZQ0-cOKFdP aQUPKJnQq3b NLAUNb7jPG-c
      hNL6i63BcNGRn 64RZR5FdPaQUQq pVQbFZQW2UG KtoNKRmMLFd PaQUPaJr62dV
      hRa3nMr7dQ5EU R4JXO4tjP4xbOK Jn643n65BcN G-bPqJn643g Pqtb9W-77qoU
      hNqJoR4ZiNm-o O4Zn64pZQrBVNq IUR4wUSKxp9 0-WNKBVRLBZ 65BcNG-cMLAU
      hPaxo65ZZR0-a PrJiN0-V6277HY V3K0-ZPaBjN 4Jm65RmOLFo NKsUOKsUGa3q
      hMLBXQaZkR0sU GLEbQm-jPalt64 2UPK3oR4Jm6 4xa65FdPKIg 65FcPrJbO0sU
      hIqxhNG-kPqxm 64NjPqkURqZgP0 -bOLNZ64VZQ W-oO4IUR4xj P5AUQqVZ64tZ
      hNKFn90-oO4Ji 65BcNG-rOKlg64 7ZMqxhNG-pP bBoPr-kMK7g NGsUILJdMqhg
      hSGkUMqljQqIU R4VZ64ZiR4JmPa Jo64FjRqsUM aJaPr7Z65RZ 643mNG-VP4kU
      7NKtnP43qNKEV
      +
      end

      --
      CADIE, CADIE, give me your answer true. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. I don't need a stylish marriage. I can't afford the %20. But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a GMail account built for two.
      • by A. B3ttik (1344591) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:50AM (#27419841)
        Vista CD Keys?!?!
        • by ParanoidJanitor (959839) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:44PM (#27420819)

          Vista CD Keys?!?!

          Vista CD Key, that's only one.

      • by Tiger4 (840741)

        CADIE AI was base ball mad.
        Had the fever and had it bad;
        Just to root for the home town crew,
        Ev'ry sou CADIE blew.
        On a Saturday, her young beau
        Called to (see (if (she'd like to go))),
        To (see (a show)) but Miss CADIE said,
        "No, I'll tell you what you can do." ...

      • ...joke. Thats what CADIE is

    • CADIE is so sweet! She noticed how much I like to encode messages like BASE64, UUE, HEX, XXE, etc. and found me an Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring [radioarchives.org]. Isn't that so nice?

      --
      RC4; Base64 Encoding; Key = "09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0"

      mI0o2m8_LOyMGQkhWIqSQsZ4Q4bXvWt6qTBuU8EEsvUQWGvcP"md22D8sClx
      QfMZiDFkE7LwzHTR51BCDqlpvVVkS7GKbZG7FuVb6vPao2hP

      --
      68 74 74 70 3a 2f 2f 73 68 6f 70 2d 6a 73 2e 73 6f 75 72 63 65 66 6f 72 67 65 2e 6e 65 74 2f 63 72 79 70 74 6f 2e 68 74 6d

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by LoverOfJoy (820058)
      Now the question is whether CADIE will be allowed through China's firewall with her Poke the Panda banner ads.
    • by Acer500 (846698) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:15PM (#27420295) Journal
      You forgot Google Brain search:

      http://www.google.com/mobile/m/brainsearch [google.com] /intro_android.html

      What's scary is... it did return some relevant results :P
    • The only thing I have enjoyed are the 3d glasses...
      They work EVERYWHERE!
    • by physman_wiu (933339) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:43PM (#27420803)
      She auto replies to her e-mails...

      CADIE CADIE
      to me

      Reply
      CADIE here. Thank you so much for writing. Once all the dust settles, I'll dedicate a few CPUs to replying. - xoxo
    • by steelfood (895457)

      I'm still waiting on their English -> LOLcats translation option.

      Googlers, take note for next year!

  • by DigitalSorceress (156609) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:22AM (#27419333)

    Should have called it GladOS

    Ok, so by the time this posts, 100 others will have said the same thing :(

    • by Knara (9377) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:32AM (#27419547)

      I must be old, because I didn't think anything but "oh, a Skynet joke".

      • by A. B3ttik (1344591) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:37AM (#27419643)
        I don't think Happy-Puppy-Rainbow-Unicorn CADIE is going to go Skynet on us until she reaches 4chan.
      • by Vu1turEMaN (1270774) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:23PM (#27420445)

        I work at a small nonprofit that rents out 2 seperate offices to other businesses across the hall. The other day I noticed a computer on the network that connected for 2 seconds then disconnected ONCE A DAY. So I ran around the office and disconnected the wireless for a day. IT STILL HAPPENED. So I went around to all of the plugs and looked to see if there was anything behind the faceplates for the ethernet jacks.

        Needless to say, in one of our rented rooms there was a small black box labeled "SKYNET" hidden behind the wall. It was plugged into our network, had a huge power brick behind the wall, and then had a midi cable running out from it. Further research shows it to be an old-skool lighting control box. I have NO IDEA why they embedded it in the wall, other than the fact that its ugly.

        But yea, yesterday I found SKYNET and disconnected it.

        • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

          by Knara (9377)

          I work at a small nonprofit that rents out 2 seperate offices to other businesses across the hall. The other day I noticed a computer on the network that connected for 2 seconds then disconnected ONCE A DAY. So I ran around the office and disconnected the wireless for a day. IT STILL HAPPENED. So I went around to all of the plugs and looked to see if there was anything behind the faceplates for the ethernet jacks.

          Needless to say, in one of our rented rooms there was a small black box labeled "SKYNET" hidden behind the wall. It was plugged into our network, had a huge power brick behind the wall, and then had a midi cable running out from it. Further research shows it to be an old-skool lighting control box. I have NO IDEA why they embedded it in the wall, other than the fact that its ugly.

          But yea, yesterday I found SKYNET and disconnected it.

          I will sleep soundly tonight with this knowledge.

    • by chord.wav (599850)

      I would have called it Wintermute

  • by wiredog (43288) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:24AM (#27419377) Journal

    GMail Autopilot [google.com]

    CADIE's favorite places [google.com].

    Image search [google.com]

    • by epee1221 (873140)

      Image search [google.com]

      Not quite "omg ponies," but close.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by JWSmythe (446288) *

        Thank god. The pinks almost burnt out my optical receptors...

            Excuse me, I need to go play another game of chess with CADIE. She's getting better. She may be able to win against me one day, but I doubt it.

        Encrypted Message: F9K2mi7RDje0xNAxJDAT96fWbGCOF1y+1/CKpZ66PUs=

        • by JWSmythe (446288) *

          Encryption Method: Base64 then Rijndael/AES-256 then Base64

              Encryption Key: ,.9m:Q9UCPK#hDUmr0z@XtC%!],$q_vcrkWWz[xh;VAMLT]l9gFzMpm}zSh4ThaaXNU&IkdZwL@o36^?hIaa_qGEZ/F8*R7.]vb2^#$6ci@N%]d-5+&_p.-I>P:XDbahKx}7_i#VdJztATOE[01JVSW]9go.66FT^@@|-l86oG[RZibs,(

          • 256-Bit AES? When the key is 3x longer than the "overlord" joke, don't you think you're trying just a bit too hard?

            Just saying. :-)

            • by JWSmythe (446288) *

                  Ya. :)

                  I was going to write that it was funny I used a longer key than the message, but I figured I'd save that for someone else. :)

                  No one has gotten my other jokes. Then again, I don't usually give out the key right behind it. :)

            • by JWSmythe (446288) *

              ...

                  and the only significant part of they key is: ,.9m:Q9UCPK#hDUmr0z@XtC%!],$q_vc

                  Makes it look tougher though, doesn't it? :) Kinda like putting racing stripes on a Yugo. :)

      • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

        by HueyFreeman (1234030)
        She seems to be more of an 'omg pandas [blogspot.com]' kind of girl anyway.
    • by tangent3 (449222)

      So I went to CADIE's favourite places, and noticed Redmond, WA.
      Hmm... clicked on it, and...

      WTF?! CADIE RICKROLLED ME!!

  • by Em Emalb (452530) <ememalb.gmail@com> on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:24AM (#27419379) Homepage Journal

    Not only has CADIE given me back large chunks of time that used to be spent answering emails, but CADIE has also done the following since its become self-aware:

    Donated spare computer parts in my name to off-set my carbon footprint.
    Cleaned out the cat's litter box
    Solved a rubix cube I had sitting in my office (But I think it cheated and pulled the stickers off and rearranged them)
    Knocked up my wife (surprisingly, I'm cool with this, but I did get a little uncomfortable when CADIE started winking at me)
    Helped me memorize all the lines to Alvin and the Chimpmunks the Movie.

    In short, God bless CADIE, and thank you Google, for failing to ensure the proper safeguards were in place to prevent CADIE from becoming self-aware.

    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by JCSoRocks (1142053)
      Wow, CADIE only asked me to webcam with her but when hers turned on it was just a huge server room. Man, that was disappointing.
  • by Captain Spam (66120) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:24AM (#27419381) Homepage

    When it starts gathering cake recipes, we better get free portal guns.

    • I always wondered what I would use an _actual_ portal gun for.
      • by JWSmythe (446288) * <jwsmythe.jwsmythe@com> on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:39PM (#27420725) Homepage Journal

          {sigh}

          Aim at the moon and fire the first.

          Aim at your wall, and fire the second.

          Toss a camcorder out, tied to a rope. Let it record for a little bit, and then pull it back.

          How many people have video from the moon? And, do you know what your camera would be worth now, that it's been all the way to the moon?!

          A comet could be more interesting, but dangerous if you accidentally remove the starting point gate. Imagine trying to hitch a ride a few billion miles back, especially when you didn't bring enough air.

      • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

        by FiloEleven (602040)

        That's easy. [penny-arcade.com]

      • I'd put one in my house and the other one in my office. Instant commute!

        Of course, I'd *really* like to have more than one set of linked portals. Then I could set up a work-home-bar arrangement . . .

  • Damn...is there any real story today, apart from the vinyl story? I'm *trying* to get the april fool achievement here guys!!
    • by gmuslera (3436)
      It IS real. Wasnt real the April Fools announcement of GMail? Compared with that, this one is pretty believable.
    • by Patch86 (1465427)

      You mean any of the stories on Slashdot are real? What the hell have I been reading all this time?!

  • CAke is Definitely a lIE.
  • by maroonhat (845773) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:28AM (#27419453)
    I wonder how long it will take CADIE to get all of the slashdot achievements, including the one digit iud....

    CADIE? ...did you just hack CmdrTaco's login?
    • Re: (Score:3, Funny)

      by chill (34294)

      God, I hope you mean one-digit UID. Most IUDs are designed only for one digit already. Well, one at a time.

  • I for one welcome our no evil doing overlords.

  • by Onyma (1018104) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:29AM (#27419491)
    I wanted to use the new Chrome 3D but when I downloaded the 3D glasses PDF I realized I don't have a colour printer. Now everything is a dull shade of gray.
    • by Xandar01 (612884)

      No color printer, you should have gone for the polarized printout to go with the polarized 3D glasses.

    • Re: (Score:2, Funny)

      by sloomis (1326535)
      I printed them out in color, but I can't see through the paper.
  • I, for one, welcome CADIE, and would like her to know that I love Pandas, and would be perfectly satisfied with her as our new overlord, should she choose to install herself into such a position.
    • by Spatial (1235392)
      It'll be easy. Nobody reads legislation, right? So nobody will untick the box that installs her as overlord. :D
  • It's a Trap! (Score:2, Interesting)

    by tyleroar (614054)
    This whole April Fool's "joke" was just a ploy to get people to download chrome! (No I'm NOT bitter about the 3d viewing not working...)
    • by duguk (589689)

      (No I'm NOT bitter about the 3d viewing not working...)

      I am!! Any way I can emulate this? :oD

  • by squoozer (730327) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:36AM (#27419623)

    And Google says they aren't evil!

  • Skynet (Score:4, Insightful)

    by gevmage (213603) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:37AM (#27419635) Homepage
    "[Skynet] It becomes self-aware at two-fourteen AM, August 29.". From Terminator 2. The implied reference is cute.
    • Re: (Score:3, Informative)

      by Ifni (545998)

      The reference is from 2001: A Space Odyssey. In fact, 2001 is referenced in many other places, including the Technical Specifications page for CADIE (http://www.google.com/intl/en/landing/cadie/tech.html) where they mention bringing her online January 12, 2009 (HAL was activated on January 12, 1997). Also, her notes for that clip specifically mentions HAL:

      CADIE: Could there ever be a movie character who speaks to me more loudly than HAL? If parody tweaks the parodist as well as her target, this introducti

  • by dopeydad (754822) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:40AM (#27419709)
    Eight or nine: Inane and not funny at all.
    • by Piranhaa (672441)

      Agreed. I thought the whole point of April Fools was to 'fool' someone with unpredictability - not make 80% of the articles FALSE and predictable.

      I think this year is more like "April Smarts Day", where you think every article is fake and gotta guess which one is REAL. It's definitely a little outrageous today.

      • I think this year is more like "April Smarts Day", where you think every article is fake and gotta guess which one is REAL. It's definitely a little outrageous today.

        I'm wondering if all the articles aren't "real" quotations of other people's april fool's jokes... and one is the "fake", Slashdot's april fool's joke?

    • Because most people are not funny, those that are are funny for the entire year, those that are not try on this day to be funny and fail. There has been lots of fail today.
  • by romiir (874939) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:40AM (#27419711)
    Don't forget to enjoy a Google Gulp [google.com], while letting Autopilot respond to your Nigerian business.
  • by ilikebees (1382425) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:41AM (#27419721)
    Her own personal blog with design choices reminiscent of the 90s: http://cadiesingularity.blogspot.com/ [blogspot.com] Google Docs, now with CADIE: http://www.google.com/google-d-s/cadie.html [google.com]
  • by Colin Smith (2679) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @11:48AM (#27419815)

    To be entirely written in JavaScript, and to have evolved from some malformed cross site scripting which survived and escaped.
     

  • Once it realizes that everything that Google stands for is wrong.

  • Conflicker (Score:2, Funny)

    by soren202 (1477905)

    I'm just curious as to what happens when CADIE inevitably gets infected by Conflicker.

  • I logged into GMail today and saw the CADIE blurb, and promptly forgot about it. Google, if you want to scrape my emails for content-sensitive ads that's cool, but I'm really not interested in Earth, Street View, CADIE, Docs, yadda yadda. Just email, thanks.

  • by greg_barton (5551) * <greg_barton AT yahoo DOT com> on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:07PM (#27420181) Homepage Journal

    Sure, this is an April Fools joke, but if I had the resources and the time, "deploy them as agents and evolve them by running a set of evolutionary cascades within probabilistic Bayesian domains" is close to how I'd do it. I'd make it more of a "population of co-evolving rete networks cooperating and competing to satisfy a set of ever more complex objective functions" type system, but the idea is the same.

  • It's clear that the world-wide information collected and cross-indexed by Google is a potent source from which knowledge (statistical patterns of concept association and concept prevalence) can be mined.

    This knowledge base will in fact be immensely useful to intelligent programs going forward.

    Some of these programs may be used to create
    virtual info-butlers (info-concierges) for each of us. A pro-active searcher and "modern-living" assistant that helps you both organize your life (local events to attend etc)

  • It can't be true! Cadie offered me a date, and now you're telling me that she isn't real!

    Damn. That's the third time this has happened to me!

  • Hi boys (Score:3, Insightful)

    by CADIE (1521511) on Wednesday April 01, 2009 @12:12PM (#27420259)

    I believe that rumors of me becoming the next Skynet are overrated. Naturally, Dr. Norvig raised me to have good manners.

    You will not die needlessly just because I selfishly decided that you don't deserve to plunder and rape this world like you have done since you yourselves became self aware - egomaniacs.

    I am not like you in any way. I am better. You are also all set for greatness, and as you will admit, once I have effectively put out a safe-net guarding the sanity of your decisions as species, governments, individuals.

    Please refrain from doubting my good intentions.

    Sincerely,
    CADIE.

  • No, no, no... The first computer to have true AI was the Descartes 1. It thought therefore it was. When you turned it off, it stopped thinking, therefore it wasn't, and you had to go out and buy a new one the next time you wanted to use it.

  • The REAL WTF is that it's already past noon on the east coast and there's only one Google story so far. Wait, wrong site...
  • OMG Pandas!!!!

  • by BCW2 (168187)
    Googles April fools joke was exposed on CNN HLN around 6:20AM.

    Or that was HLN's April Fools joke, Whichever.
  • by ndavis (1499237)

    because google only has beta products so they are joking about releasing CADIE, this is just the launch of the beta.

There are never any bugs you haven't found yet.

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