The Biggest Cults In Tech 397
bobby f. writes "Infoworld has published its list of the biggest cults in tech — including Palmists, Newtonians, Commodorians, the Brotherhood of the Ruby, IBM power systems fanboys, Ubuntu-ists, and Lispers. A pretty fun read (unless you really are a cult member)." Although I think it's pretty clear that the Apple camp isn't an opinionated cult, they're just always right. Fire away.
Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
It's been a very long time since I met a Newton or Palm cult member! Time to update the list.
Allow me to change the definition of "cult" slightly to "whatever belief your smart friends want you to give up". Then cult #1 is:
Name: Windows
Established: 1995
Gathering of the Tribe: InfoWorld and other magazines that pretend that everything except Windows is a "cult"
Major Deity: Bill Gates
Sacred Relic: 30-letter authorization keys
The Antichrist: Linus Torvalds
Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
I belong to the Cult of Single Page Views, not 8-page clickfests.
Not so much fun, actually.
Lispers AND Apple Users? (Score:5, Funny)
Why did they list the same group twice?
In my head I transposed the 'n' for a 'l' in cults (Score:5, Funny)
Strangely enough the article read much the same.
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:5, Funny)
I've always considered myself a Quaker.
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
Oh I can do this:
Name: Mac OS
Established: 1984
Gathering of the tribe: Apple WWDC
Major Deity: Steve Jobs, Woz
Sacred Relic: A half eaten apple.
Believed Antichrist: IBM
True Antichrist: Bill Gates.
Nah, Apple fans.. (Score:5, Funny)
..are more like Scientologists than an cult....
Re:Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.infoworld.com/print/73433 [infoworld.com]
Forth (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Perl? (Score:5, Funny)
Established: 1987
Gathering of the tribe: USENET
Major Deity: Larry Wall
Sacred Relic: All those O'rielly books
The Anti-Christ: Ruby
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
why would the cult of apple curse IBM!? did IBM not cometh and deliverith the sacred PC of power?
Name: cult of free software
Established: 1985
Major Deity: RMS
Sacred document: GPL
Antichrist: !GPL'd software
and
Name: cult of debian
Established: 1993
Major Deity(s): Bruce Perens & people called Ian
Sacred relic: Debian 1.0 discs
Antichrist: ubuntu
Re:Forth (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Pretty absurd Apple is absent (Score:5, Funny)
As yes, The Cult of Loose.
Their won cult that never should of ben allowed.
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:2, Funny)
PC games and MMORPGS kick @$$ its not a cult its a way of life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:2, Funny)
PC games and MMORPGS kick @$$
I agree - Nethack FTW!
Oh, wait - you weren't referring to the player next to two piles of money, after all.
Never mind, then.
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
did IBM not cometh and deliverith the sacred PC of power?
You're forgetting the next verse of the Book of Jobs...
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:5, Funny)
I've always considered myself a Quaker.
No DOOMsday cult?
Re:Forth (Score:5, Funny)
forth respect gets
(come on, its STACK oriented. sheesh. do the joke correctly)
Re:C= 8-bitters instead of the Amiga?! (Score:5, Funny)
There are still people crowing about how Amiga is poised for a comeback. Everyone's going to realize how wrong they were for abandoning the platform. We'll all repent and be saved by the second coming of Amiga. They still go on and on about REXX and Video Toaster, as if those are relevant technologies.
I for one am actively working to prevent this disaster by promoting... Atari TOS! TOS can save us all! Don't listen to the Amiga infidels! You only need 512 colors! MIDI, MIDI, MIDI! Those Amiga Cultists are all nutters! 16/32-bit Atari is the true path!
Re:Perl? (Score:5, Funny)
Other's code? I have enough trouble reading my own code a couple of months after I wrote it.
They missed out C programmers (Score:5, Funny)
Those guys seem to think everything should be coded in C, even if it takes 10 times longer than coding it in another language, and results in a program filled with memory leaks.
C is great, but lets be honest - at least 80% of C programmers shouldn't be programming, let alone programming in a low level language!
I've seen more horribly malformed C than VB!
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
why would the cult of apple curse IBM!?
If you bled six colors, you wouldn't have to ask.
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
Windows isn't a cult.
It's a religion.
Exactly, just like scientology
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
Cult: A small unpopular religion
Re:Fun Read? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
The oldest appointment I have dates back to Sept 2001.
Bet it wasn't a girl...
Re:Pretty absurd Apple is absent (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Linux (Score:3, Funny)
That's GNU/Linux, you freedom-hating blasphemer!
Gather the HURD!! *draws katana*
signed,
RMS
Re:Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
Ah, the cult of grammar Nazi's.
Name: Grammar Nazi Cult
Established: 1383
Gathering of the Tribe: Internet Comment Forums
Major Diety: Geoffrey Chaucer
Sacred Relic: Strunk and White
The Antichrist: The Apostrophe Between "t" and "s" in the Word "it's" When "it's" is used as a posessive
Purpose: Annoy Everyone not in the Cult
Re:Cult #1 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:5, Funny)
No DOOMsday cult?
Of course not. That would just be Unreal.
Re:Cult #1 (Score:4, Funny)
The oldest appointment I have dates back to Sept 2001.
Homeland security would like to have a word with you Mr.Dave.
Re:Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
Thats "possessive." :-)
Re:Cults in tech? (Score:5, Funny)
I'm with the Church of Latter Day Megaman.
Re:Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
Kindly have the decency to identify us correctly by our Sacred Relic - Strunk and White's Elements of Style, First Edition.
I hope you did not mean for us to lump us in the Later Editioners - who eat off of their bellies, when there are perfectly good tables about for use of that function.
In any case, your abbreviation of the Holy Name of our Sacred Relic may well have been alleviated by the acceptable, yet colloquial (although arcane), use of et cetera, hereby illustrated as per Rule 2, as you are but no doubt aware of so to do: Stunk and White, etc.
(And yes, I thank you in advance for the opportunity of scoring points with my peers to compact my typography by ending a sentence with the abbreviated form of et cetera, thereby saving a full period. My deep appreciation is also given for the bonus points scored as well that the word period preceded it's synonymously named punctuation mark in the previous sentence. It is for this alone that I defer to kindness and not rag upon the lack of calendar year reference, similarly missing.
After all, a good Grammar Nazi is never a quibbling Sematics Nazi, nor worse, a Syntax Nazi (this last reference having been given, quite naturally, with highest reverence to the ghosts of alt.syntax).) *
Kindly remember, and please never forget: if something can be said with few words, it's worth saying very well; therefore, it worth saying with a great many words, in order to be at one's best, if for no other reason. (N.B., it is well and good that initiates question the validity of verbosity over being succinct, as an object lesson that the admonishment for clarity overrides.)
In closing, I am further compelled to compliment you upon the quite deft class-naming used for our gathering place, indicating, as it does, this modern forum while simultaneously not excluding Usenet, that is, as goes without saying, our one true Kobol, with the codex modification as it applies, naturally, to the mythology presented only in the contempory BattleStar Gallactica.
* Note the parenthetical salvation of the egregious Usenet syntax error had the sentence been constructed to end thus: alt.syntax.
AmigaOS (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fun Read? (Score:5, Funny)
You spelled semantics wrong.
For the sake of newcomers, it's important to note that Guild of Grammar Nazis and the Spelling Nazi Brotherhood have a bilateral-cooperation agreement, thereby ensuring work for both unions' members.