Railway Workers Get Daily Smile Scans 385
More than 500 workers at Japan's, Keihin Electric Express Railway, must have their faces scanned each morning to determine their optimum smile. The "smile scan" analyzes a smile based on facial characteristics, from lip curves and eye movements to wrinkles. After the program scans you, it produces a smile rating that ranges from zero to 100 depending on the estimated potential of your biggest smile. If your number is sufficient, you can go about your day grinning like a maniac. If your smile number is too low the computer will give you a message such as, "lift up your mouth corners" or "you still look too serious." Every morning employees receive a printout of their daily smile which they are expected to keep with them throughout the day.
Bad news... (Score:5, Funny)
Those employees about to be terminated receive the following critique:
"WHY SO SERIOUS?"
Flair! (Score:5, Funny)
And be sure to wear some flair. That would be great.
Re:Flair! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Because large smiles are so comforting... (Score:2, Funny)
Life in Japan must be tough (Score:5, Funny)
Break out the happy helmet (Score:5, Funny)
Sing along everybody...
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"I don't think you're happy enough"
"I'll teach you to be happy. I'll teach your grandma to suck eggs!"
"and the little critters of nature. They don't know that they're ugly."
"I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT, BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME!!! WHYYYYY WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!!!???"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
Re:I can say only one thing (Score:5, Funny)
a company that cares - that's so sweet (Score:5, Funny)
Beatings will continue until morale improves!
- The Management
ps Have a nice day!
(Seriously, have a nice day, you little piss-ants, OR ELSE.)
Re:I can say only one thing (Score:5, Funny)
Fuck. Right. Off.
I can be polite and professional without smiling.
There's something contradictory about these statements... but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Fake smile (Score:3, Funny)
"Your smile is perfect, Yoshi!" (Score:5, Funny)
Thought bubble over Yoshi's head:
"It is so easy to smile like this when I think about pulling out Boss-san's intestines with rusty fish knife and feeding them to my dog in front of his dying eyes. His time to visit honourable ancestors comes faster than he thinks.
amateurs (Score:4, Funny)
just dose the railway car's air supply with xanax
if you are going to ignore free will, you might as well go all the way
Re:Bad news... (Score:3, Funny)
In that case, they're just lucky to be railroad workers instead of pencil factory workers. Actually, I'm not sure which is worse...
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:5, Funny)
Obligatory Paranoia Reference (Score:1, Funny)
The Computer is your friend. Happiness is mandatory. Not being happy is treason. Treason is punishable by death. Are you happy? I knew you were.
Re:I am not a morning person (Score:3, Funny)
Whatever makes you happy, man
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:3, Funny)
MTA workers are in a union and you have to have all these rules since the union wants there to be a good reason to fire anyone. where i work there is a 30 page book where half of each page is empty.
So they can write in a reason to fire someone?
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:3, Funny)
Now just relax and let the hooks do their work
Re:Japan is insane. (Score:5, Funny)
This especially bugs me because I'm not a smilier and I like being bitter, damnit!
You should get a job over here in germany. You'd be perfect for german customer-service. Learn to utter something that might sound like german, and you're perfect employee for the national railway service.