DARPA Builds Smarter Version of Microsoft's Clippy

holy_calamity writes "Microsoft's animated paperclip may be long dead, but a $150m DARPA project has resurrected the idea of a virtual assistant. AI researchers from more than 60 institutions worked on the project entitled CALO. CALO is designed to help ease the bureaucratic burden of the military. A consumer spinoff, Siri, is coming to the iPhone later this year. It responds to conversational voice commands to take over multi-step tasks like choosing and booking restaurants or cabs."

Is it time yet...

[jamstar7]

... to say "Oh, shit, there goes the neighborhood!"?

I for one found Clippy to be annoying as hell, and was DAMNED glad they killed him.

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A consumer version?

[gcnaddict]

A consumer version of a military app for a widely-used phone?

Anyone have a spare tin-foil hat?

Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents?

[NotQuiteReal]

Maybe I can help. How much collateral damage can you handle?

Haven't we done enough to the enemy combatants?

[Anonymous Coward]

Come on, waterboarding, gitmo, torture, but Clippy? Now you're just being mean.

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents?

[MaXintosh]

I seem to grok that this is more for the brass, to manage day to day things. Obviously, it'd be more like this:

Hi! It looks like you're writing a justification for an un-winnable war against a nebulous enemy. Would you like help?
* Get help distancing yourself from the blunders of the previous commander.
* Just stumble through this conflict alone.

[] Don't remind me of Vietnam again.

Re:Is it time yet...

[CharlyFoxtrot]

I for one found Clippy to be annoying as hell, and was DAMNED glad they killed him.

Clippy, virtual assistant. A program barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

As long as she looks like Rommie

[Snaller]

Then I'm interested in your newsletter!

Killy

[Anonymous CowHardon]

"It looks like you're contemplating an unprovoked nuclear assault. Would you like me to start the Launch Sequence Wizard?"

I see you're re-introducing a useless feature

[Anonymous Coward]

Would you like me to rename it?
Make it more complicated?
Be more intrusive?

Re:"Helpers"

[TheSHAD0W]

"It seems you want to start a war! Can I help?"

Well...

[FlyingSquidStudios]

I, for one, refuse to download that App until it has a voice like Douglas Rain and calls me Dave.

Re:Is it time yet...

[Anonymous Coward]

OK but what did they do with the other $144M?

Re:oblig

[techno-vampire]

In modern, democratic, capitalist Russia, digital overlords still welcome you!

Re:Is it time yet...

[Crudely_Indecent]

Oh, shit...

Clippy: I've located several public bathrooms and a large cluster of shrubs nearby. Would you like directions?

So this is how the world ends.

[genner]

I always knew MS Office would have somthing to do with it.

This is from 2001, but still brilliant.

[FlipperPA]

http://randomaxe.comicgenesis.com/d/20010725.html

That is all.

Presidental Clippy

[OrangeTide]

It looks like you're drafting a treaty.

Would you like help?

• File a complaint in the UN and recommend trade sanctions.
• Levy trade sanctions until the nation agrees to better terms.
• Begin a military intervention and write a new constitution for the nation.

Re:Is it time yet...

[fireman sam]

Clippy: "I see you want to go to Hell? May I suggest http://bingmaps.com.au/?action=location&location=hell [bingmaps.com.au] ?"

Re:Will it have Apple's blessings?

[amicusNYCL]

I'm sorry, in order to post in this thread you need to make a Clippy joke, it's a requirement.

..would you like me to help you do that?

It's a good point though, unless Siri is the future functionality.

Re:Presidental Clippy

[Anonymous Coward]

This sounds like the plot for The Phantom Menace.

Re:"Helpers"

[Lunzo]

Scene: A missile silo in the USA.

Grunt: Sir, the radars are picking up incoming Russian nukes. We've only got 2 minutes to act!
Commander: This is the moment we've been training for. Commence launch sequence.
[The commander and another officer turn keys and the commander presses the red button. On the screen the following appears:]

Hi. It looks like you're trying to launch an ICBM. Would you like to:

• Launch a test missile.
• Participate in M.A.D. [click here to learn more]
• Remove Clippy and continue working (Note this will detonate your nukes without launching them). It's the only way known to permanently remove Clippy.

Re:Is it time yet...

[Anonymous Coward]

It looks like you're trying to hide me. Sorry, but I can't let you do that, Dave.