'09 Malibu Vs. '59 Bel Air Crash Test 496
theodp writes "To celebrate their 50th anniversary, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety crashed a 1959 Chevrolet Bel Air into a 2009 Chevrolet Malibu. Hate to spoil the ending of the video, but if you find yourself participating in a similar car-jousting contest, pick the Malibu over the Bel Air. (Not that you'll be complaining afterwards if you don't, or doing much of anything.) Guess there is something to those crumple zones after all."
Speaking as a non-car-freak (Score:5, Funny)
I see the problem. (Score:5, Funny)
Now this is a story all about how my life got flip turned upside-down. I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I totally destroyed a classic car in the name of science.
Re:the wunnerful 50's, not (Score:5, Funny)
that would be Fifth Gear (Score:5, Funny)
Top Gear tries to stay away from useful facts and info as much as possible.
And the idea of Top Gear having TWO cars that cost below $40,000 on the screen at the same is pretty far fetched.
Re:Speaking as a non-car-freak (Score:5, Funny)
The brown car had such an angry mouth, so it was probably not a very nice car. But the gray car looked friendlier.
Re:'52 Citroen DS (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Patiently waits (Score:5, Funny)
Top 10 Ways American Cars Would be Different if Ralph Nader Had Never Been Born
10. Dashboard hibachis
9. Seat belts made of piano wire
8. Windshield replaced with ant farm for kids
7. Strobe headlights make oncoming traffic look like old time movie
6. 50-foot antennas allow you to broadcast while driving
5. Optional front-seat hammocks
4. Wiper fluid reservoir routinely filled with thousand island dressing
3. New York City taxis would be exactly the same
2. The paper Buick
1. Speedometer replaced with electronic voice chanting "Punch it! Punch it!"
Re:Classic Cars (Score:4, Funny)
They shoulda used a 1958 model, considered to be the only non-classic late fifties Chevy.
Which is why I have one.
Re:the wunnerful 50's, not (Score:2, Funny)
You're probably right. But the steering wheel impaled through Fifties Guy's gut would slow him down a bit. Wow, those old steering columns were nasty.
He still would have toughed it out, though, and called 09-guy a whiner.
Re:YouTube Commenters strike again (Score:4, Funny)
The YouTube stupidity wasn't limited to claiming it was faked. Here we have an actual YouTube commenter trying to draw a comparison between Hitler's Eugenics program and the engineering principles behind car safety. It's like crazy in a can.
You must be new to the Youtube comment section. Welcome.
Re:STUPID STUPID STUPID..... (Score:3, Funny)
Good thing Bush isn't around any more - he'd buy into it.
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
Must have missed out on trading it in during cash for clunkers.
Re:the wunnerful 50's, not (Score:5, Funny)
My observations were that I'd much rather be in an old tank like that in a minor accident. Anything major, and I'd rather be in a modern car with things like seatbelts, crumple zones and air bags.
Yep, that's why before getting involved in any traffic accident, I always carefully choose the car I own which would be best suited. Now if you'll excuse me, I might accidentally run over my neighbour in his backyard while I'm on my way to the store. I think I'll pick the Hummer, it's the better one to get through wooden fences.
Re:Classic Cars (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Classic Cars (Score:5, Funny)
Good news for the Bel Air owner though: the fuzzy dice looked like they survived mostly intact, although I think the string connecting them got ripped or cut.
Seriously, points to IIHS for including the dice. You can see them flying around the cockpit at 1:03 to 1:09. They look like they might present a hazard of as you are crashing, they might hit you in the eye, potentially causing you to blink and miss the carnage right before you die.
Re:Classic Cars (Score:5, Funny)
I bet it was the "which was broken" part!
If I'm the only one who bids, do I win? Like on eBay?
Re:Where's the engine? (Score:5, Funny)
The straight 6 engines in those cars offered no protection in an offset crash, and just smashed back through the dash killing the occupants, who were dead anyway.
Fucking classic-car-driving zombies...
Re:YouTube Commenters strike again (Score:3, Funny)
But youtube commenter marcsiry did make it worthwhile:
Even worse, the guy in the Belï Air was texting at the time.
Re:the wunnerful 50's, not (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
Not everybody is equiped to capture those long sentences
-How long is your attention span?
-At least five... Oh look, that's a pretty keyboard!
Re:that would be Fifth Gear (Score:3, Funny)
You seem to have missed the episode, where they tested ultra-cheap east-asian cars, at below $10,000.
Depending on your point of view, you could even count the dog-sled that they went to the freakin' *north pole* with!
Re:the wunnerful 50's, not (Score:2, Funny)
Besides that, the person form the 50 would have died. Well
-He is old now. No problem. old people die.
-Beside that, for insurance a dead person is much cheaper than a disabled person that they will have to pay out for a long long time.
Let's Land on him, we'll cripple his car (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
I'd still rather ride around in the '59 Belair......
Top tip: make sure you slide the seat back a bit! ;)
Re:And some follow up comments (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
tl;dr
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
Keep this shit up, and we're gonna have to make nice with Cuba...
Re:that would be Fifth Gear (Score:5, Funny)
Exactly. Top Gear is about fun and entertainment. And they're doing a very good job in that department!
Fifth Gear is the boring but useful relative.
It's like with women: They need the latter, but they love the first one. And while the second one helps as much as he cans, just to be loved, the first one is loved specifically because he is exciting rather than useful. Poor Fifth Gear. Will he ever realize what the problem is? ;)
Well, if they were dead anyway... (Score:4, Funny)
Then they wouldn't mind being killed a little more would they?
Re:Classic Cars (Score:3, Funny)
"Gee, why is everyone complaining that they destroyed some old picture of a lady that wasn't realy smiling while comparing the materials available to Michaelangelo to today's?" :(
I think you've mixed up your Ninja Turtles.