Iraq Swears By Dowsing Rod Bomb Detector 652
jggimi writes "According to the New York Times, more than fifteen hundred remote sensing devices have been sold to Iraq's Ministry of the Interior, at prices ranging from $16,500 to $60,000 each. The devices are used for bomb and weapon detection at checkpoints, and have no battery or other power source. Sounds great, but according to a retired United States Air Force officer, Lt. Col. Hal Bidlack, they work on the same principle as a Ouija board — the power of suggestion. He described the wand as nothing more than an explosives divining rod. Even though the device has been debunked by the US Military, the US Department of Justice, and even Sandia National Laboratories, the Iraqis are thrilled with the devices. 'Whether it's magic or scientific, what I care about is it detects bombs,' said Maj. Gen. Jehad al-Jabiri, head of the Ministry of the Interior's General Directorate for Combating Explosives."
Another reason why (Score:5, Funny)
they shouldn't be allowed to have the bomb. On the plus side, there an easier target.
Maybe I should sell them my ballistic missile protection rock. Only 10 million dollars, and if you are hit by an ICBM contact me for a full refund.
Oblig (Score:4, Funny)
I am interested in purchasing your bomb-repelling rock.
Re:In a target-rich environment? Sure! (Score:3, Funny)
And a clock going backwards is right 48 times a day (ie. twice as accurate!)
Our nation-building rocks are also quite popular (Score:2, Funny)
They also double as tiger repellent rocks. Since use of the rocks, nation building is way up and tiger maulings are way down. With less than 2 tiger maulings a day in the green zone.
I know how this got started (Score:5, Funny)
Dear General Jehad al-Jabiri,
You may be surprised to hear from me. I am Mrs. John Mutube, former wife of the late general in charge of Nigerian counterterrorism forces. Upon his death I was amazed to discover 15000 (FIFTEEN THOUSAND) special BOMB DETECTION RODS. As my party has fallen out of favor, I find myself destitute. So I am offering you full possession of these BOMB DETECTION RODS for only the cost of shipping. Since the devices are heavy, I must ask that you pay for postage so I can deliver you the rods. Send either money order or credit card particulars to
Mrs. John Mutube
123 Mutube Street
Benin, Nigeria
I look forward to your successful counterterrorism endeavor.
I am, yours truly,
Mrs. John Mutube
Re:Now you know (Score:5, Funny)
On the plus side, these devices would have been just as effective at locating Saddam's WMDs as any other detectors.
Re:This kind of upsets me (Score:5, Funny)
Oh I know what you mean.
I mean, before America showed up it was a happy place. They had flowing meadows, and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.
Re:Security theater... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Confirmation bias (Score:3, Funny)
Works real well, actually (Score:3, Funny)
What? Too soon?
Re:Water for Thought... (Score:1, Funny)
lol.
Sounds like a great business to be in. Just provide service within an area covering an aquifer which meets the requirements!
Re:This kind of upsets me (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, when the Americans showed up, they were all like, "Hey lady, eat the apple off that tree of knowledge." The region went to shit after that.
Re:Works very simply (Score:4, Funny)
Actually, the device does work very simply, and is almost 100% accurate.
1) poke object with rod
2) does object blow up?
3) if yes, it was a bomb
This is absolutely brilliant!!! (Score:1, Funny)
So... let's get this right...you give the guy a divining rod and then tell them to them to wander around a suspected mine field holding this thing. When it dips (or crosses, you found a mine). Yup, that'll work. Hard to believe we can't seem to win this war.
Best quote of the article (Score:5, Funny)
I don’t care about Sandia or the Department of Justice or any of them,” General Jabiri said. “I know more about this issue than the Americans do. In fact, I know more about bombs than anyone in the world.
Re:This kind of upsets me (Score:2, Funny)
Is that a grenade in your pocket, or are you... (Score:2, Funny)
My rod can detect sexy bombshells too.
Re:Another reason why (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Another reason why (Score:3, Funny)
We have never had dumb/superstitious people in charge of our military.
If you want examples of stupidity and superstition in the US Military, I wouldn't look at MAD. Read The Men Who Stare At Goats [wikipedia.org], detailing the Army experiments to try and kill goats with thought power, 'remote viewing' to spy on enemies, and the idea of creating psychic peace soldiers [wikipedia.org]. Scary scary stuff.
Re:Insightful (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Water for Thought... (Score:2, Funny)
Oh, so a hooker is a type of ventriloquist? Always wondered what they were...
Ventriloquists are fun, BRB going to ask my mom to get me a hooker for my birthday party.
Re:Insightful (Score:4, Funny)